Abstract Sincerity

Kennedy woke up at four o’clock in the morning on Friday. She packed seven different pairs of heels, three pairs of boots, two pairs of sneakers, and two pairs of slippers along with eleven sweaters in varied colors, eight tank tops, six pencil skirts, two oxford shirts, six pairs of jeans, three different bras, her black silk robe, three jackets, and multiple pairs of underwear.
The only reason Kennedy got up so early was because her flight was at 7:15 and she would arrive there just after noon. Even though she didn’t want to, she had to stop in to work before hand to pick up some stuff from her office.
She showered that morning and wore her hair in a messy side fishtail braid but she dressed business-like because she couldn’t go to her work wearing casual clothes even if she was just picking things up.
She wore a pair of nude nylons, a navy blue pencil skirt with a white oxford and a pair of white four inch heels.
She grabbed her two suitcases and headed out of her apartment and to the elevator rolling them behind her. She let out a deep breath. She was trying her best not to think about what she was doing and why she was doing it because if she gave it too much thought, then she’d just turn around and not go at all.
She got to the lobby and had the doorman hail a taxi for her. She put her luggage in the trunk and told him to head to her office.
Luckily, it was early enough in the morning that the traffic wasn’t that bad, but it was still bad enough. Kennedy thought about seeing Alex again and immediately had to suppress the thought because it made her heart go wacky.
“I’ll be right back. Stay here, don’t worry – I’ll pay extra,” she told him and she closed the door and headed up to the 73rd floor to where her boss’s office was. She walked past her office and headed straight for her boss’.
“Kennedy!” he exclaimed when he saw her. “It’s great to see you back,” he told her. Her boss, Mr. Cartkin, was around 6’5”, had green eyes, and a grey comb over.
“Well, actually, that’s why I’m here,” she told him, sitting down in one of the chairs across from his desk and folding her legs delicately.
“What’s wrong?” he asked her, his face getting serious.
“Well, you see, my mom’s husband just died. She wanted me back for the holiday’s anyway, but now that her husband’s died she really feels alone and she needs me there to help get her resituated in Maryland. She wants me stay at least until February and seeing as I was already working from home I was wondering if it would be alright with you if I could just do my work via-email while I help her get through this hard time,” she lied to him. She knew that he wouldn’t let her go if she told him that her boyfriend had broken up with her and now she was traveling to go stay with her ex boyfriend turned friend.
His face looked mournful. “Of course that’s all right. I don’t mind at all. Just as long as you’re getting your work done, all should go well,” he told her with a nod.
“Thank you so much, sir,” she said gratefully and gave a little nod indicating her thankfulness.
“Of course. Please, send my condolences,” he told her, putting his hand to his chest.
She gave a little nod and got up from out of the chair and walked out of the office into her own. She grabbed a bunch of things she knew that she’d need and packed them in her carryon bag and then walked back to the elevator.
She got to the cab, who luckily was still waiting, and told him to head to the airport. He dropped her off in the first terminal and she gave him a hundred dollar bill without even listening to see how much the trip had cost her.
She had checked in the night before, she checked in her bags, and went through security. She boarded the plane first since she was riding first class and sat there for the three hour flight in the air, listening to music and reading her book that she hadn’t gotten the chance to open since she bought it.
Kennedy had always been a good flier; getting on the plane didn’t scare her, the take off didn’t scare her, being more than 10,000 feet in the air didn’t scare her – nothing made her terrified.
Kennedy got off the plane with ease. She walked down the terminal and made her way to the baggage claim and grabbed her two bags, along with her carryon, and then made her way outside and looked around for Matt. He was supposed to pick her up outside of the terminal and the minute she spotted him, her heart stopped.
For the first time this entire day, this felt real – her leaving New York, coming back to Maryland, riding alone in a car with Matt, sleeping at Alex’s house alone; it all felt real.
She swallowed the lump in her throat and tried to suppress her every urge to run and get back on the first plane back to New York.
She walked towards Matt’s big, black SUV and gave him one of her typical, breath taking smiles when she approached him. He smiled back at her and opened his arms wide to her. “Hey,” he said as she leaned into him and gave him a hug.
“Hey,” she said back and pulled away.
“How was your flight?” he asked as she grabbed her bags and threw them in the back of the car and then climbed into the drivers seat.
“It was fine. It felt really short,” she told him.
“Weren’t you flying for over three hours?” he asked and started to leave the airport.
“Yeah, but… I don’t know, it just felt really short but that could have been because I was reading the entire time,” she told him.
“Yeah, reading makes the time fly,” he agreed.
They sat in the car in the awkward silence.
“So why are you all dressed up again?” he asked, eying her short navy skirt.
“I had to stop by work before I was able to head to the airport, but I had to get ready because they don’t really accept casual dress,” she told him. He was heading into an area of Baltimore that she’d never really explored so of course everything looked unfamiliar.
“See, you say that, but I think you really just use your work as an excuse because you like for us to see your legs,” he told her with a crooked smile and she smiled back.
It was so easy being with Matt. He was funny and casual and didn’t make big deals out of things.
“Are you excited?” he asked, his face getting serious.
“I am… kind of,”
“Why kind of?”
“I’m more nervous than excited. I’m finding it really hard to be excited right now,” she confided in him.
He chuckled. “Why do you say that? I thought you’d be thrilled,”
“I am excited to see everybody, but I’m petrified that none of them will be happy to see me. I’ve changed so much since any of us really talked and I don’t think Alex realized that when he asked me to come down here. Also, my stomach feels like butterflies are eating the inside of me,” she told him and he laughed again as he took a left at a stop sign.
“I think that once you get back into the swing of things, it’ll be old hat,” he told her.
“What does that even mean?” she asked, her turn to laugh.
“You’re a big shot lawyer, you figure it out,” he told her.
“I’m not a big shot,” she said modestly.
“It means that, I know you, Jack, and Alex really well. I’ve seen you guys together and I know that even if the conversations a little weird at first, once you three get talking again you won’t feel like there’s anything you had to worry about in the first place,” he told her.
“You know, when I first met you, you hardly ever talked and now you’re just flapping your gums,” she joked and he laughed as he made a right and then another left and pulled up in front of a house.
It was weird for Kennedy to think about Alex owning his own house since she had grown up with him living in his parents’ house and that was really the last time she saw him.
“We’re here,” Matt announced.
Kennedy sat there and stared at the house. She didn’t want to go into the white house with the perfectly trimmed yard. “You should take me back to the airport,” she told Matt, leaning back in the seat and looking straight forward.
“Kennedy, you ran away from Alex more than once, don’t do it again,” Matt said, rubbing her arm lightly.
“I am so sick of people giving me shit for that – it was, like, four or five years ago. Let it go!” she exclaimed, but she wasn’t upset, just impassioned.
He chuckled again and stroked the hair out of his eyes. “Come on,” he urged then got out of the car.
She bit her bottom lip then followed Matt’s example. She got out of the car, dressed to the hilt, and he grabbed her bags for her even though she offered to carry them.
They walked up the walkway, side by side, and onto the porch. He opened the door without knocking or ringing the doorbell. Kennedy assumed that everybody would be at his house since she was coming over.
They walked into the house and she realized that it closely resembled her old one. Matt set her bags down by the stairs and led her into the living room where everyone except for Jack and Rian were sitting. “We’re here,” Matt announced and everybody turned to look at them.
Kennedy spotted Alex sitting next to Lisa and her heart plummeted, but she knew it had no right to so she pushed it back and forced a smile. Alex smiled up at her and stood up and walked toward her, away from Lisa and opened his arms and engulfed her in a big hug. “I’m so glad you’re here,” he whispered in her ear and she instantly melted. She hugged him back and bit her bottom lip.
“Jack! Rian!” Zack yelled from the couch as he, too, stood up and came to give her a hug. Alex pulled away from her, unwillingly, to let Zack hug her. Zack nearly crushed her; between being so tall and muscular, it was hard for Kennedy to breath.
Rian and Jack came waltzing out of the kitchen, holding alcohol in their hands and Jack looked at her and gave her a Jack-smile. He walked towards her and gave her a hug. “How was your flight?” he asked as he pulled away to take his spot back on the couch.
“Short,” she answered shortly and took small steps into the living room and sat on a chair. Matt followed her in. She turned to look up at him, but he was looking at Alex and giving him a face which Alex returned. Kennedy didn’t know what it meant, but she’d be sure to ask Alex later.
“You’re all dressed up,” Lisa said, crossing her legs and a smile on her face. Her brown hair was almost as long as Kennedy’s, but Kennedy knew that hers looked better.
“Yeah, I had to stop by work this morning before my flight to get some things and talk to my boss,” she explained.
“You couldn’t have gone in jeans?” Jack asked, taking a sip of his drink.
“No, they don’t allow casual dress – well, it’s not that they don’t allow it, it’s just looked down upon, even if you are just stopping by,” she explained.
“I told her that I think she just uses that as an excuse because she likes us to see how good she looks in those tight skirts,” Matt piped in, smiling a crooked smile and his eyes crinkled in the creases.
Everyone laughed. “I think I agree with that theory,” he told them.
They spent the entire afternoon and evening in Alex’s living room, shooting the shit and laughing. Kennedy wished that she could be a part of that, but half the stuff they were talking about she found completely asinine.
They talked about tour and the girls they met on tour. Alex mentioned his stalker, some girl who had come to his house after he’d gotten home to ask for a picture and autograph and it creeped Kennedy out. She didn’t think that Alex or All Time Low in general was really famous enough to have stalkers, but maybe she just didn’t pay enough attention.
Alex watched her the whole time, observing her, and when he realized that she was extremely uncomfortable he said, “Guys, as great as a time that we’re having, it’s getting really late. I’m sure that Kennedy’s exhausted from her flight.” It was around eleven o’clock at night. She’d spent nearly twelve hours with them in Alex’s living room.
“I thought we were going to go and get drunk,” Jack slurred as Zack helped him off the couch.
“You are drunk enough,” Cassadee, Rian’s girlfriend, told him as she patted his chest.
Matt, Jack, Alex, Lisa, and Kennedy were the only people who hadn’t left. Everyone else had gone. “Alex?” Kennedy asked, keeping her eyes on the ground so she wouldn’t have to look at him.
“Yeah?”
“Can I get something to drink?” she asked.
“Go for it,” he told her, indicating where the kitchen was.
“Bye, Kenne Kenne,” Jack said as he gave her a drunken hug.
“Bye, Jack Jack,” she said back and he gave a little chuckle. He went with Matt and now only Lisa was left. Kennedy didn’t know if Lisa was living with Alex or if she’d be spending the night with him tonight.
Kennedy left the two alone and walked into the kitchen to get water. She walked back and heard Alex and Lisa bickering.
“I don’t want her staying here with you, Alex,” Lisa said in a harsh voice.
“I know, I’m sorry, but I invited her,” Alex defended.
“It makes me uncomfortable to have your ex girlfriend staying in the house with you alone. I’d feel better if you’d let me stay here, too,” she told him, crossing her arms across her chest.
“You can, but not tonight. I don’t want her to feel awkward – it’s been a long time since she’s been around us, I want her to feel comfortable,” he told her, stroking her arm.
“You promise nothing will happen?” Lisa asked, unsure.
“I swear,” Alex told her and leaned in and gave her a peck on the lips.
Kennedy started walking back into the living room and made her walking apparent so they would stop talking about her.
“I think I’m going to take off,” Lisa announced and pulled away from Alex when Kennedy was within a few feet of her.
“Oh, okay,” Kennedy said and gave her a smile then gave her a hug, “It was great seeing you,” Kennedy told her even though she didn’t know if she meant it or not.
“Yeah, you, too. One of these days we’ll have to get together without the boys,” Lisa said and gave her a Lisa-smile.
“Totally,” Kennedy agreed.
“I’ll see you guys later,” Lisa said and gave Alex one last peck.
“Bye,” Alex told her and Lisa walked out of the house carrying a big old purse.
Things between Alex and Kennedy remained quiet for the next few minutes. Neither of them knew what to say or how to approach the situation. They both loved each other but both knew that they weren’t good for each other.
“Let me show you where your room is,” Alex said and grabbed Kennedy’s bags and dragged them up the stairs and down the hallway. He stopped at the first door on the left and led her in.
The room was gorgeous; it had one purple wall while the others were white, dark purple curtains over the windows, white sheets with a purple comforter, and white and purple pillow cases.
“It’s great,” she told him as he set her luggage down.
He smiled a crooked smile at her and looked around at the room, “I thought you’d like it,” he told her.
“I do,” she told him and walked further into the room and sat down on the bed to see how soft it was.
“Can I tell you something?” he asked, following her but at a slower pace.
“Of course,” she responded.
“I designed it with you mind. Every detail I wondered if it would be approved by you, if you would let it in your bedroom,” he told her, stroking his blonde hair out of his face.
She nodded. It was very Kennedy-esque. “I love it, Alex, really,” she told him, getting up and sitting up against the wall on the bed. He sat down on the other side of the bed.
“I’m glad,” he nodded.
They sat in silence staring up at the vacant ceiling, not saying a word.
“I’ve missed you,” he told her letting out a sigh.
“I’ve missed you, too,” she told him.
“Maybe Lisa’s right, maybe you shouldn’t stay here,”
“I probably shouldn’t,” she agreed.
He looked at her.
“You really don’t want to stay here?” he asked, sounding hurt.
She looked at him. “I want to stay here, I just don’t know if it’s a good idea,” she told him softly, looking at him for the first time. His milk chocolate eyes, straight nose, thin lips, oval face, and blonde whispy hair.
“What makes you say that?” Alex asked, leaning into her. They were less than an inch away from each other.
Kennedy’s heart was racing. She knew that this was unacceptable, especially for her first night here, but she couldn’t control herself – she’d never been able to control herself when it came to Alex.
He leaned in the rest of the way and gave her a soft passionate kiss on the lips and they made it so that she was lying down on her back and he was over her, but not on top of her.
“That,” she told him when he pulled away.
He gave her another crooked smile and she bit her bottom lip. “God, I’ve missed you,” he told her and leaned in for another.