Adolescent

“Jimmy,”A rough hand pushed his shoulder, forcing his eyes to screw open.”Jimmy, dude, what the hell?”

“What do you mean, what the hell?”He snapped.

“Your eyes man. Were you crying?”He focused in on the person, finding Matt standing over his bed.

He looked down at him, not angry or amused, but worried. It had been a long time since Matt had seen Jimmy upset. Even just waking from his deep sleep, he seemed like he was ready to start back on the water works. Jimmy pushed himself to a seating position and rubbed down his swollen eyes.

“No, man. Why?”Why start lying now?

He would have to tell them at some point.

“Your eyes are swollen as shit.”He frowned.”What happened last night? You burned your coffee, there’s a sweet ass song on your desk in the kitchen. You sure you’re okay?”

“Actually,”It was now or never; he had to get the guys together to spill his findings.”we need to get everyone together. I have something to tell you guys.”

“Don’t worry about it. We’ll get them in a little bit. I just want you to tell me what happened first. I want to make sure everything’s okay with you. Were you drinking last night, Jim? Tell me the truth.”Matt sat at the edge of the bed and eyed down Jimmy.

Jimmy was always his good friend; he couldn’t watch him wither away over something so silly or ridiculous. Alcohol just happened to be one of those things. Jimmy shook his head and slid his feet over the side of the bed.

“No, Matt.”He sighed.”I wasn’t drinking. I was trying to write a song. I just got stuck; I had a brain fart.”

Jimmy continued to tell Matt every step he took last night, leading up to the unopened envelope. He stopped, unsure if he would believe him or not. It was a serious matter and he didn’t know how to explain it.

“Did you open it?”He asked.”What did it say?”

“Matt,”Jimmy sniffled loudly; he was beginning to tear up.”I have a daughter.”

The room only filled with silence. Nether one of them could believe exactly what came out of his mouth. Even Jimmy had a hard time thinking it over. It had to clutch and sink into his brain. Jimmy’s head fell and Matt starred blankly at the wall. Did he just say what he thought he did?

“A daughter?”His whispered words flew smoothly through Jimmy’s ears.

Jimmy grew angry and stood over Matt. Did he really just question what he just said? He had told him flat out, explaining to him everything that had happened last night. And he was going to question him?

“A fucking daughter. Didn’t you hear me?”He growled.

Matt stood, reaching Jimmy’s height with ease. He starred angrily at him and shook his head.

“I was double checking. I wont question what you say unless you’re wasted, Jimmy. Do I look like I don’t believe you?”He snarled.”We’ll get the guys together for you. Explain that it’s serious.”

Jimmy’s face fell and all he could feel was regret. His eyes continued to water until they spilled over. How could he just snap like that at Matt? He was always so good to him.

“I’m sorry.”He whimpered.”I just don’t know what to think anymore. I didn’t know this at all. I found out through a letter.”

Jimmy wiped his face down again, his hands becoming wet at the touch. Matt let a genuine smile come to his lips before he pulled him into a hug.

“Don’t worry bro, it’ll be okay.”He pulled away and looked over at Jimmy.”How ‘bout some coffee, man? Since you managed to burn yours last night.”

For the first time that day, a smile came to Jimmy’s lips.

“Yeah, dude. Let’s fucking go.”He ruffled his hair back and followed Matt out of his room and through the front door.

Hours Later

Jimmy stood in front of the small group of friends, debating on whether or not this was a good idea afterall. He knew he would need their help, if they would give it, and he wanted to find his little girl. He had to.

“So, uh, what’s going on?”Brian shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

“Just, give him a minute.”Matt glared over at Brian, making his uneasiness grow.

“This isn’t about that bar fight I started, right?”Johnny chimed in.”Because in all honesty I thought it was funny as shit.”

“Short shit,”Matt growled.”knock it off.”

“This is something serious, guys.”Jimmy sighed.

“You’re pregnant?”Johnny chuckled into his hands and received looks from all sides of the room.

“Johnny, seriously, cut the shit.”Zacky snarled.”He’s nervous about something. Give him a fuckin’ minute to relax.”

Jimmy let a small smile crawl onto his lips. He wasn’t sure if it was his nerves forcing the unwanted act, or the fact that Johnny’s horrible jokes were actually getting to him. He brushed his uneven hair from his eyes and looked up at the guys. They each sat patiently, waiting to hear what he had to say.

“Leanna wrote me a letter,”He began quietly.

“She wrote you a lot of letters, dude.”Brian scoffed.

“One more fucking word, Bri, and I swear to fucking god -”Matt stood from his chair, knocking it back with the force.

“You’ll what?!”Brian stood aswell, red fusing into his cheeks.

There was going to be a brawl in the middle of Jimmy’s living room over words he couldn’t speak. Jimmy watched as they bickered back and forth, calling each other names and threatening one another. Jimmy’s heat rose slowly, and before he knew it he had pushed Brian back onto his seat.

“This is important!”He shouted.”And all you can do is fucking bicker and make fun of what I have to say! I hope you feel like a dick when I tell you what happened!”

“Dude,”Matt’s voice dropped and he grabbed his upper arm.

Jimmy’s eyes welled up once again, forcing Brian and the other guys to quiet down and listen. After the scene they had just witnessed, they knew it was in all seriousness and nothing that would be a joke. Brian rose his hands and stated, “I apologize, Jimmy. Go on.”

Jimmy tore his hand from Matt’s grasp and let out a deep breath. It was what he was waiting for this whole time; he needed to say it now. Out came the words he had been searching for this whole time; “Leanna wrote me a letter two weeks before she passed. And she told me that we,”

He stopped for a second, but continued on once again.

“That we shared a beautiful little girl.”He sobbed.”And she’s somewhere in California now, possibly in Huntington Beach.”

Their mouths hung open, their eyes showing pure astonishment. There was no way. How could none of them have known? Leanna never had the baby bump; she had never shared the baby news.

“When we were on tour, she managed to go through the pregnancy and give her up. My girl’s name is Hillari. Hillari Sullivan.”He whimpered.

Jimmy slumped down into a chair and covered his face with his hands. How could he have been so naïve in letting her slip through his fingers? A strong hand patted his back and he slowly looked up. Brian stood above him, his eyes red and watery.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know.”He took Jimmy by the hand and pulled him from his seat and into a hug.

“It’s okay.”Jimmy whispered.”Really dude.”

“You did make me feel like a dick though.”Jimmy chuckled softly at his comment and pulled away from Brian.

He looked over at the rest of the group and smiled warmly. His next question might even stun them, or make them laugh at him like he was an idiot. It was fifty fifty on this one.

“So, Jimbo,”Zacky began.”you gonna do something about this?”

“Actually,”Jimmy chewed his bottom lip; it was like giving a speech in front of a large crowd.”that was my next question.”

They looked up at him, almost shaking in anticipation. They wanted to know, but so far the news wasn’t too good. In a way, yes, but knowing his daughter was somewhere without him, that was the bad news.

“I need your help finding Hillari.”He said.”I need to get numbers and address’. Basically,”

Jimmy nervously shoved his hands into his front pockets. It was just his friends; why couldn’t he ask this simple question?

“I’m asking if you guys can help me find my little girl.”He breathed.

“You know, for a fucking giant, he’s pretty stupid.”Johnny laughed.

“Of course we’ll help you bro.”Zacky chuckled.”Why wouldn’t we?”

That was all he needed right now. He got his friends help, now all he needed to do was find out where Hillari was staying. And hopefully, she would accept him into his life. If not, then he was a failure to both Leanna and his daughter.