Adolescent

I sat at my computer, typing away to my friends I hadn’t seen in a long time. One had moved nearly two years ago, leaving me to fend on my own; minus Devin. Minutes into my conversation, my phone began going off. I jumped at the sound and my heart nearly leaped into my throat.

Maybe it was Jimmy. I quickly looked down at the screen, but only let a small frown come to my lips. Devin lit up on the small screen, making my heart complications come to a slow end. He wasn’t who I was hoping it would be, but Devin was better than no one at this point.

“What’s up?”I closed out my conversation before smiling softly.

“I sent you a link, but before you open it, I want to warn you.”He seemed slightly aggravated, but I wasn’t going to judge anything yet; he didn’t have the best temper.

“I don’t want your porn, Dev.”I chuckled.

“I’m serious, Hillari. I want you to know that it has something to do with Jimmy.”I froze completely, unable to respond to Devin or my computer.”You there?”

“J-Jimmy?”I whispered quietly.

“I tried not to judge, but you know how I am. Just, don’t get too upset. You need to get in touch with him and make a meeting between you two. It’s probably best.”He growled lowly.”At this point.”

I turned to my computer and pulled up my email. I quickly typed in my username and password, messing up at the speed I was trying to accomplish. I waited patiently for it to open and I swallowed hard. Was it a news article on a man found dead? Was it something he had been hiding this whole time?

I saw the link Devin had sent me and ran the arrow over it. I took in a deep sigh before clicking on it. The page pulled up and numerous titles read down the page. Jimmy “The Rev” Sullivan entered into rehab for alcohol; Jimmy “The Rev” known worldwide as a ladies man; James Sullivan, drummer of Avenged Sevenfold, found drunk at -

I slammed down my computer, feeling my eyes warm instantly. Jimmy was actually in a band, but he left out the fact that they were actually famous. If he had such a wonderful life so far, why would he need me? I would only be baggage in his eyes, right?

“Hillari?”Devin sounded worried, like he knew I had read it all already.

“Let me call you back.”I flipped my phone shut and covered my face in my hands.

My phone fell with a quiet thud to the floor as I began to cry. I didn’t know why I was so upset in in the first place; I may be over reacting, Yet I couldn’t understand why I had seen such a sweet guy. Was it all just a cover up? Did he want something from me, or did he really want to know me?

Was I even related to him? I swallowed hard and choked back a sob. I wiped my red eyes and whimpered quietly. My phone began to vibrate over and over, but I only kicked it away. I didn’t want anyone to talk to me or see me in the state I was in. I was so vulnerable at this time.

I looked over at my computer and raised the laptop screen. My tears free fell as I pulled up the email once more. I whimpered quietly when I read his name, but built the courage to click on the news link. It popped up in a separate screen and I began to read silently.

Jimmy “The Rev” Sullivan entered into rehab for alcohol -

After the passing of his wife, Leanna Sullivan, James admittedly turned to alcohol to “kill his pain.” He admitted the use of his alcoholism after being brought in by ambulance to Western California’s Hospital -

I closed out the screen and wiped my blurring eyes. My next choice was the ladies man link.

Jimmy “The Rev” Sullivan known worldwide as a ladies man -

One girl after the next is the way to go in this rocker’s life. Will he ever settle down and realize life isn’t just a roller coaster you can ride for free? “The Rev” explains to Writer’s Journal that he’s happy the way he is now. He laughs when he explains that “women are just a small priority to his life right now.”

I pushed away from my desk and stepped out of my chair. I couldn’t stand to look at the screen any longer. My phone began to continue going off as I took hold of my small hand mirror on my dresser. I stopped before letting my anger get to me and looked down. Maybe this was important?

I let my fingers slip from the glass and stepped toward my phone. With a huff I turned, throwing my fist into my large life size mirror on the side. I cupped my hand as the glass shattered, littering my floor with all sized shards of glass. The pain in my fist only made me angrier.

I threw myself onto my bed, pulling my pillow over my head. I began to sob, taking in deep breaths when needed. I was slowly losing it over something that might not even be true; maybe. I clenched my fists into my featherly pillow, questioning the meeting over and over again in my head.

A door slammed outside as I continued to cry, whimpering and sobbing loudly into the mattress. It seemed like seconds before soft knocking was heard at my door. I peeked out from underneath my pillow, wondering who could possibly be wanting to see me now.

“Hillari?”My heart jumped as Devin’s voice rang into the room.”Can I please come in?”

I sat up, wiping my eyes from tears and mascara. I opened the door, forcing a smile as he stepped into my room. I leaned in for a kiss, but he instantly threw his attention at my hand.

“What did you do?!”He cupped it gently and I winced at the stinging.

I hadn’t come to notice that it was bleeding; I was too angry and upset to think about the consequences. Devin looked me in the eyes before letting his trail along my room. He stepped away, letting my hand fall gently to my side. He looked down at the mirror and shook his head.

“Hillari,”When he turned, I had instantly teared up once more.

My bottom lip quivered out just slightly and he quickly embraced me in a tight hug. I wrapped my arms around his chest as best as I could and began to cry. He rubbed my back and rested his chin on my head as I let it all out. He stayed silent, knowing I would be done in a few minutes.

I felt like I was on the verge of hyperventilating and I tried to calm myself down. I pulled myself from his warm and comforting hug to wipe my eyes. He pushed me back to the bed, allowing me to sit down. He knelt down slightly, looking up into my swollen and red eyes.

“Calm down, Hillari.”He bit his bottom lip like he was thinking.”I didn’t realize this would upset you so much. I’m sorry.”

“Thankyou.”I brought my legs to my chest and forced a small smile, just for him.

“Don’t thank me.”He sighed.”I hurt you more than I thought it would.”

“I never would have known.”I whispered.

“Maybe it was better off.”He stood, taking my bruised hand with him.”Let’s get you cleaned up. Your parents just went out to the store. We have some time alone before they come back.”

I followed after him, right into the bathroom. I sat on the sink as he opened cabinets, trying to find peroxide and bandages. I smiled warmly as he stood, both in hand. He took my hand and looked up, slightly worried.

“This may sting, Hill -”I just waved him off.

“Do it.”I winced as the liquid poured over my cut hand, bubbling at contact.

I growled lowly as he wiped around my slices. He wrapped my hand tightly, to keep the bleeding from continuing on. As he finished he pressed a soft kiss on my lips. He rested his forehead against mine before sighing softly.

“I’m sorry, Hillari.”He frowned.”I didn’t mean to hurt you like that.”

“No, I would have found out sooner or later.”My voice cracked slightly as I looked down.

He pressed my head into his chest and rubbed my back. I cried quietly, letting what I thought was the rest, out. When I finished I slid off the counter easily.

“I’m going to shower. I’ll most likely walk to the park, if you want to meet me there.”I said gently.

“Of course.”He ran his thumb along my sun kissed cheek with a hurt smile.”I’ll wait till your call.”

We said our goodbyes and I walked back into my quiet, comfortable bedroom. I didn’t look at my computer screen as I passed; I slammed it shut. I went through my drawers, finding a comfortable outfit for the day. My shower came and went before I started toward the park.

I was only three steps out the door when my phone continued to go off. I pulled it from my pocket, glaring angrily at the screen. Although it was a name I wasn’t expecting, I still angrily scoffed at the name. I debated on answering it, but my body did it for me.

“What?”I growled lowly.

“Hillari! Thank god.”Matt’s raspy voice fell into my ears roughly.

“I don’t know if I can talk right now, Matt.”I tried to keep my voice from cracking.

“I need to talk to you, right away. Would it be bad or uncomfortable if I asked to meet you in person?”I looked toward the road and shook my head.

“At this moment in time, yeah.”I clipped the phone shut and started my walk toward the park once more.

I wasn’t going to play games with silly rockstars. I was better than that; if Jimmy wanted to talk to me again, he could call me. If not, then I was done.