Anaesthetic Heart

My shoulders ached; sobbing had torn through me, like a violent earthquake shattering my foundations and burying what normalcy was left. I didn't understand what was happening, and they wouldn't tell me anything. As I sat in the dining room, Mack's arm slung protectively over my shoulder, I could hear the yelling from outside of the house, drifting in from the back.

It was like the howling of wind, loud and ripping through the too quiet room. Faintly, I could hear my mother crying from another room. A cold chill set through me, as I realized I didn't care. I had slowly lost all feeling for my mother and was left for a bitter apathy. I didn't even know why she was still here, I didn't want her here.

Gran came bustling into the room, "Bane's tea, anyone?" Her face was flushed, and you could tell she was trying her best to hold onto the last of her resolve.

"Yes," Mack said lowly, his voice steady, "Please." She handed him a large mug, steam rising in large curls from its edge. He raised it to his lips.

She handed me a large mug as well, and I reached for it carefully but withdrew my hands when I saw how shaky they were. I knew I'd spill it, and I cast my eyes down guiltily.

I felt Mack shift, and seconds later, he was holding the mug in front of my lips, "Drink," He said softly. I breathed in deeply, letting the smells of soft earth and herbs trace its way through me. After I took a sip, I felt my whole body soften like a giant sigh. My muscles relaxed, and I was able to reach forward and take the mug myself. I drank as quickly as I could, and closed my eyes as I felt myself droop.

"What was that?" I practically hummed, feeling the most sated and calm I had that evening.

Gran laughed, her voice amused when she spoke, "Wolf's Bane tea, made from Wolf's Bane itself." She smiled, "My secret brew," And she winked at me. I felt my whole face blanche.

"I thought Wolf's Bane was toxic to werewolves," I said, both amazed and horrified, "I thought it was like our version of holy water to a vampire."

"Oh, don't be silly!" Gran waved her hand in the air, and the rest of the table erupted in giggles. I could feel my face flush, and I sunk lower in my seat. Yet again I had just made it painfully obvious how completely oblivious I was to the mythical world we lived in. Gran smiled, "That's just a myth, sweetie."

"Hard to be sure around here," I grumbled, crossing my arms. I felt like everyone was making fun of me, and it smarted a little as I tried not to pout.

Gran laughed again, pulling out a chair at the table and lowering herself into it, "People used to think that Wolf's Bane was poisonous to us wolves; truth is, it can be poisonous to everyone. The plant is actually called Aconitum, and it contains a toxin called aconite. Basically, if you were to consume enough of that you'd probably die," Gran smiled slyly, "If you were human that is."

Mack was rubbing small circles into my shoulder, and I was grateful he was here. He always knew what to do to relax me, and it was in moments like this that I remember how grateful I was to have him as a best friend. We had always been there for each other; I was there through countless girls who tore his heart to pieces, and I held him close and made him food as he cried about the girls who cheated on him, abandoned him, lied to him. And in the end he never forgot to return the favour. He had always, always been there for me through the trauma of my family, held my hand and followed me when we moved far away from everything I’d known. We were inseparable, and he was the one person who would always be there. And I would always be there for him.

Gran grabbed the pot and poured me another cup of tea, everyone else had already helped themselves and with steadier hands I took a sip, casting my eyes around the table and everyone who had settled there like it was a refugee camp. In some ways, I guess it was. In times of duress, we would be here, and Gran would be heading it with a smile on her face.

"For us however," Gran began, resetting the pot in its holder and shifting it until she was content, "It has sort of the opposite effect. It's calming, like a giant pain killer or muscle relaxer. That's why it’s so ironic that people used to think of it as our weakness! It's been a tool used by our kind for generations! When we made the treaties, we began trading it of course. Some folk still can't handle it!" Gran laughed.

I stilled, caught on something she'd said, "What do you mean, by treaties?"

"She means the treaties that our people signed like two hundred years ago," Lizbeth said, running her finger along the lip of her mug, "The one that bands us together, and keeps us safe from the humans."

"I don't understand," I knit my eyebrows together.

"It's what Graghat was founded on, the principle of Strength, Singularity, and Secrecy," Faron's low rumble surprised me, and when I looked up he was leaning in the doorway, his arms crossed. felt a tingle when I saw Faron, but I pushed it off and honed in on my curiosity. He was looking at something far off, "When we were being hunted and attacked, all of us supernatural came together and put aside our old feuds to stay alive. Vampires forgave werewolves, the fae overlooked the crimes of the heavens, and the ghouls of the dark merged with the light. All of us 'mythical creatures' decided our strength was stronger than any humans." I

"And that our strength and chances were better as one," Lizbeth chimed in, her fingers still circling her cup as her distracted thoughts wandered, “It’s what gave our founders the power to create Graghat.”

Faron nodded, "Exactly, and that in order to keep our races alive, we'd have to keep them secret. That's why places like Graghat were formed; little pockets of safety, were charms and lures keep the humans out and our homes safe, like Lizbeth said."

"Like a native reservation?" I asked, numbly. Faron met my eyes, and his lip curled up.

"Kind of," He came across the room and pulled up a chair beside Gran, "Just with more kick ass security." With Faron sitting this close, I could really look at him.

His knuckles that were resting in clenched fists on the table were split and bloody, and his hair was windswept and wild. His posture was tense, and you could tell he was listening to something more than this room. But I couldn't tell what, because the howling and shouting from outside had disappeared. I copied Lizbeth, my fingers tracing my mug.

"Exactly!" A warm smile spread across Mack's face, as he gripped my shoulders gently. "It's the reason you're safe here."

"It's the reason we're all safe," Gran's face was serious and drawn, as she stared past the room to the main entryway. I couldn't hear my mother crying anymore.

"What's going on?" I asked, looking around the room suddenly wary again.

"’Daddies’ are back," Lizbeth's voice was dry with sarcasm, as the front door swung open.

Two pairs of footsteps were heard, walking in perfect unison and pausing in the main hall. Then, as if as calmly as a summer breeze, they parted ways. I could hear footsteps going up the stairs, and the other coming towards us. And then my dad appeared in the doorway, his face sweaty and eyebrows laced together looking pissed off.

I flew out of my chair, running to him and crashing into his chest, "I'm so sorry, Dad. I never wanted any of this! If I knew that all this trouble would have happened, I would've never come back, I could've run off- or- or-"

"Shh, baby. It's alright," His arms wrapped around me, and he rubbed my hair gently as I tried not to cry into his chest, "I wouldn't want you anywhere else. This is where you belong, this is your home. And no one is going to take that away from you, not now and not ever again.”

“I’m so sor-“ I began, but my dad cut me off my pulling me back quickly and staring at me.

“No more, you have absolutely nothing to be sorry for,” His words were sharp and heavy, and as I watched him I saw his eyes begin to swim with restrained tears, “I’m the one who should be saying sorry. It was me; it was always me who needed to apologize. The biggest mistake I have ever made was letting you go. And I will never make that same mistake, I refuse to lose you again.” He held me by my shoulders, the ferocity in his eyes holding me still.

"But I-" I stopped, as I watched a single tear roll down my father's face. Then I was in his arms again, in a crushing embrace.

"I love you so much, Danielle. You were never supposed to leave and now when I think about everything you've been through and what a useless father I was to you I feel like my head is splitting at the seams," His words were horse, and covered by my hair, "I don't know if I can..." His words got heavy, losing themselves altogether.

I snaked my arms around his waist, relaxing in his deathly tight hug, "I love you too, Daddy." He held me tighter, and I breathed in the smell of him; the smell of comfort, and strength, and love. Calm washed through me, as I knew I was safe.

A soft knock on the door interrupted the moment that the rest of the room had allowed us. My father pulled back, leaving one arm protectively around me as he faced the doorway.

Standing there in all black, with a deep solemn look was a young man, probably only in his early twenties. His face was hard and held together, as he stared straight at my father full of business, "We've done what you've asked." His voice was low, and very full of control and respect. He was tall, and lean as he stood there with his feet shoulder width apart, his hands clasped behind his back. He looked like he should be in the military, the statue of a true warrior. And then it hit me like a sudden dawning, a warrior.

I let my eyes trail over him again, noticing his long brown hair pulled back in a tight ponytail, and the way his ears sharpened off at the end. His long black sleeves hid any traces of marks, but I knew just looking at him that he was an elf. And the more I thought about it, the more it made sense that he was here. Hadn't Dad worked out something of a guard system with them?

"Great," Dad's voice was calm, "When will it start?"

"As of now, Sir," The young elf's voice was very calm, as he met my father's gaze, "I've personally been assigned to guard her until the ball." Confusion started to leak onto my features, as I glanced up at my father.

He caught my confusion and cast his eyes down to meet me, "Danny," He said with a small amount of pride in his voice, "Meet your personal guard, Declan."

I was shocked, and I'm sure my surprise was written all over my face, as my mouth literally dropped open. I took a moment to try and collect my thoughts as Declan moved forward and offered me his hand. I took it in mine numbly, snapping my mouth shut and plastering a smile on my face.
"But Marcus, we can take care of Danny just fine on our own." Mack's voice was calm, but I could just barely hear something else in it; irritation.

Faron didn't even bother to hide his own irritation, "Seriously? We can do it ourselves. We don't need them." He said, putting emphasis on them. I knew it wasn't maliciously; even from that first day of school, I knew Faron and Zhen were friends. He wasn't against the Elves, just against the new found competition he saw in Zhen, and that was nobody's fault, but my own.

"Boys, neither have you have been able to take care of Danny on your own. I appreciate the gesture, but Mack you're always so busy. And Faron, you know why you can't do it on your own. This is the best decision for Danny, and we all need to take that into consideration." My father nodded matter of a factly, his voice firm.

“Can I say something?” I asked, eyeing Declan wearily as he stood a foot from me, assuming his position of hands behind his back and face alert, no nonsense stance.

Dad nodded, looking at me with suspicion.

I took a deep breath, “As super awesome as it is to have my own body guard,” I let a little of my sarcasm drip through, “I don’t need a babysitter. If this is about Cibrian, he can just leave. Or I could leave, or whatever. But I don’t need someone watching me all the time. I’m a big girl, I can handle myself.”

My dad smirked, “It’s not just for your protection, Danielle. It’s also for the protection of those around you.”

I gave him a look, of pure confusion. “What are you talking about?”

Dad sighed walking over to the table and pulled out a chair. I cast a nervous glance at the resolute statue beside me, and followed him back to my spot beside Mack. I noticed a shift, and peeked behind me to see that Declan had silently followed me and was now standing behind my chair. I rolled my eyes, feeling my own irritation bubble and rise, to match that of the boys. I crossed my arms as Dad got comfortable in his chair.

“Your birthday is coming up, Danielle. And as we all know that means that you’ll soon have to face the possibility of carrying the werewolf gene into creation and becoming Wolf,” My father’s voice was soft, but a danger clung to his words.

Mack slid his hand into mine, and I placed my other one on top of his. I swirled my fingers in the fine silver cloud that hovered about his skin, the markings of his aura and felt his strength leak into me, grateful to have him here. I thought about it; I hadn't really been diligent in remembering that everything had changed for me, and there was a possibility my life could change forever once my birthday arrived. For the past few days since my awakening, I had been wrapped up in one of the worst family feuds I’m sure was known to the mythical citizens of Graghat. So now that my dad sat there bringing to my attention the fact that I might have the active gene to become a werewolf, I felt very nervous.

Dad leaned forward resting on his fingers in deep thought, “With that aside, we also have to realize that we have no idea what lasting affects you may have from the curse, and seeing as you will either be changing or shifting dormant in the next little while, your body will be going crazy. Even if you don’t have the Change, you will still experience the same frenzy of emotions that all young Pups do. Which would explain why you have been so emotional lately, and prone to outbursts of hysteria?” My dad tried not to smile, but I knew he was talking about how I cried a few days ago about not being able to open the toothpaste.

I felt crimson creeping up my neck, and squeezed Mack’s hand tighter. My father leaned back in his chair, and even larger smirk playing at his lips, “But unfortunately for you Danielle, you are a Wist. And with the name and the birthright, comes the temper. You will be gaining a whole new attitude with all the emotional duress, and you may become a little hell storm.” My dad laughed at this, and I looked at him just appalled. So even if I wasn’t to become a wolf, I’d be acting like a monster for everyone to see? I pouted and looked at him sullenly.

He laughed harder, and I could hear a few other giggles escape the family sitting around the table. He cleared his throat and narrowed his eyes into me, trying his best to show his seriousness. He felt fierce as he looked at me, and I wiggled under his attention, “In all reality, Danielle. Regardless of if your genes come to fruition, you will temporarily gain all the power and strength of a young Pup in the few days leading up to your birthday. You will find yourself emotionally strung and prone to bouts of violence and aggression. And because you are a Wist, and the daughter of the Alpha of this pack, yours will be tenfold as strong and uncontrollable.”

I felt the seriousness of his gaze, and felt like I was being crushed, “Declan is half to protect you from those who wish you harm, but he is also here to protect you from yourself and from those you may wish to harm.”

I just sat there, frozen in thought. So even if I wasn't to become a Wolf, I’d be acting like a brat of a Pup who would have an attitude that would be out of control and have temper tantrums like a toddler? And if that wasn't bad enough, I’d also have an aggression issue and super strength. I stood up from the table quickly, feeling my heart in my chest, “Will you please excuse?” I asked, my clammy palms flat on the table as I refused to look at anyone in the room. Without waiting for a response, I bolted from the dining room and up the stairs. I felt embarrassment reach out to me, and grip onto me like a crying child.

I opened my bedroom door, and stormed into my room as a whirlwind of thoughts swarmed around my mind. I felt like everything was exploding, and I needed to calm down before I lost control. I plopped down cross-legged on my floor and tried to focus my breathing like my father had taught me. Just as I thought I was starting to get control, I heard a soft knock on my open door. Looking up, I sighed and rolled my eyes feeling all the embarrassment and irritation come flooding back.

Declan stood at the door, his arms crossed as he watched me intently. Staring at him, I then flopped myself backwards and lay glaring up at the ceiling. I felt like I was a burden, and was overwhelmed with the annoyance of myself. He cleared his throat, and then as gentle as a whisper, spoke, “May I please come in?”

I raised my hand in a half gesture of assent, and continued to glower at the light fixture above me. I couldn’t hear him move, but I knew it the moment he sat down beside me, as gentle as a breeze. His soft voice rose again, a hum throughout the room, “We need to talk about your safety protocol, Miss Danielle.”

I instantly rolled onto my side, giving him a look of frustration. I took him in blatantly, up and down appraising him. He was much more built than I had first assumed he was, and his hair was a chestnut brown with rich warm tones of red and chocolate. It was long and sleek, swept back into a tight ponytail, which I assumed was to keep it out of his face for fighting and combat. With the lean cords of muscles wrapping around his biceps and shoulders and down to his forearms, he was a lot more intimidating up close. But the when I focused on him, and really looked at his face I could see more gentleness in his eyes. They were a bright green that glimmered like emeralds and soft hues of the forest. I sighed and relaxed, I knew he was just doing what he was told.

“Call me Danny, not Danielle, or Miss Danielle or Miss Wist or any of that bullshit. Just Danny, okay?”

I saw him fighting a smile, probably out of respect, “Of course Danny, whatever you’d like.” His voice was so soft, and it instantly reminded me of Zhen’s voice. I felt a sharp pain in my chest and swallowed hard, focusing on Declan’s eyes. I gestured for him to continue his protocol details, “We will be spending a lot of time together, up until the ball and the week following until your birthday. And I would like to set some boundaries for both you and I.”

I nodded, and he cleared his throat, placing his hands on his knees as he talked, “I will follow you everywhere, no exceptions. I am a highly trained warrior, excelling through high ranks to be second in charge of our forces in only four years. I am more than qualified to protect you, and I have sworn upon my honour of my clan that I will do just that. So no arguments, I will accompany you everywhere. I will drive you to and from places, and follow you as seen fit. I will wait outside closed doors only in the means of privacy such as using the washroom and changing. When you sleep, I will be outside your bedroom door, which is to be kept closed to all except for those I have been given expressed rights to permit entrance.”

He paused, and met my eyes, gentleness there as his voice softened more, “You’re not a prisoner Danny, not by any measure. You’re just dangerous.”