Anaesthetic Heart

"Darling, get out of the bathroom." Gran's voice was soft outside the door. I smiled
as I stared at the scraggly girl in the mirror. I stepped back onto the scale, and frowned, my smile dissipating. The numbers behind the glass stared mockingly at me, as I stepped away and opened the door. Gran immediately noticed my down turned lips, and pulled me into a hug. "What is it?"

"My body." I grumbled, nestling into her comforting arms and breathing in her rich scent. I sighed, "It's not co-operating with me. I seem to be gaining more weight than usual."

"Why is that?" Gran asked, her words sounding muffled as her jaw was in my hair.

"The food I've been eating lately," I buried myself deeper into her, stifling the feelings inside, "That, and a few other things." Anxiety, over-eating, fear.

Gran pulled back then, and smiled, "I can't fix the few other things, but I can take you grocery shopping. Wipe away those little blues, Bubaloo. You're going to fix this." I laughed, remembering why I missed her. Even when being a teenager got you down, she'd give you the zap you needed. "Meet me downstairs in ten minutes. I've got to go to the hardware store anyway, so I'll drop you off on my way." She smiled big, before squeezing my hand and disappearing down the stairs.

I went to my room, shaking off the shallow insecurities tugging at my stomach. I pulled clothes out of the wardrobe, finding something comfortable with little effort. Pulling my hair into a side braid, I swiped make-up on and grabbed my bag as I headed downstairs. I spent nearly ten minutes trying to find my coat, as Gran roamed around the garage. By the time Gran poked her head back inside, I was frustrated and whipping through a pile of laundry in the laundry room.

Gran was about to say something when Mack walked in and ushered her out the door. They exchanged eye contact, and Gran left. Smiling, Mack came over to me. "Danny?" his voice was soft and tentative.

"What, Mackenzie?" I snapped, whipping clothes past his head as he moved to sit beside me. He placed a hand on the small of my back, the other on my shoulder, making me stop and turn to him.

"It's okay, Danny. It's just a coat, " Mack looked into my eyes, his brows fighting to remain unknit.

"It's not. This isn't working, Mack." I sighed, dropping my hands to my lap. "I feel like I'm walking on glass half the time. Dad keeps running off to mettings, Gran is trying way to hard to make me feel comfortable, and i just feel weird around Faron."

"Here, " He grabbed his coat from the floor beside his heel, "Take mine. When you get home, we'll deal with everything else. Okay?" Sighing deeply I nodded, as he pulled me into a quick hug and helped me into a standing. He pulled me from the laundry room and to the foyer, where I pulled on a pair of old garden boots of Grans. When I got to the car, I looked back to see Mack standing in the doorway.

The ride was quiet, the air warm and comfortable in Gran's old beater. She pulled sharply into the parking lot of the supermarket, making me brace my palms on the dashboard. She laughed at me, as she cut the engine. "Here is a fifty, if you need more just call my cell. " Her voice was calm and cheery, typical Gran.

"Thanks, " I smiled, pulling open my door, and waving as I headed into the store. The door creaked open as I pushed it aside, my shoes squeaking on the linoleum as I made my way to the fresh produce. My thoughts wandered as I walked isles. It hasn't changed, has it? Nothing has changed. It's still the same run down town it's always been, with the same over-happy people who glare at you when you turn around, and the same unanswered questions. I sighed, and kept walking.

"Danielle, my god, is that you?" I turned around, looking for the voice that had said my name. When I saw the smiling face of Reid Pickerman, I burst into a grin.

"Pickerman? You really haven't changed at all." I said, as he pulled me into a half shouldered hug. He was much taller, and his dorky grin that used to be filled with braces and crooks was now a brilliant row of perfect white teeth.

"Neither have you." He said, laying a hand on my shoulder, "I haven't seen you in years. What brings you back to town?" His voice was genuine, as it had always been.

"I actually just moved back," I smiled a bit more, "I'm living with my Dad and Gran." I shifted my basket on my arm.

"Aren't the Cradshaw's staying with y'all?" He asked, his voice getting at little thicker. I nodded reassuringly, but felt an odd cotton feeling fill my mouth. His brow was pulled into a little furrow, but quickly smoothed as I smiled. He pulled at his sleeves, a colourful tattoo flashing under his cuffs, "You coming back to school?"

"Yeah, hopefully next week." I smiled. I had missed Reid.

"Well it hasn't changed much. Still the uptight rednecks you grew up with," he laughed, flicking his curly hair out of his eyes. I laughed, before giving him another hug and promising to find him the upcoming Monday. As he walked away, I saw a patch of color on the back of his neck - another tattoo.

I shifted my basket, and kept on searching. When I finally made it to the till, I set my items down, and idly played with the hem my sleeve. It really hasn't changed. "Paper or plastic?" A cheery voice broke through my cloudy faze.

I lifted my head, and was greeted by the smiling face of the cashier. She had dark hair, hanging lustfully around her jaw line. Her dark hair contrasted her bright olive green eyes, which gleamed mischievously under a thin coat of eyeliner. She wore the usual uniform of the Shopping Mart, but pinned to her collar was a name tag reading Wish.

"Paper, please." I smiled back. She seemed like a nice person.

"You don't know how much your saving the planet right now! " She gushed, placing my groceries in the bag. She handed them to me, "A lot of people don't see the importance in our planet, even if it's just the paper from a tree that was once a bush. Bushes are important you know."

"You don't say." I laughed. There was something about her. Light seemed to gather in her eyes, where it bounced back and forth playfully. Her smile seemed sweet, but was wicked sharp where it creased up in the corners. Most of all, she seemed to float on air, in a world content with saving bushes and odd names. I just had to ask, "Why Wish? "

"Pardon?" She smiled, confusion hinting at her features. She continued to wring in my items, pear, pear, loaf of wheat bread.

"Your name, " I blushed, tucking my change back into my jean pocket, "Excuse my rudeness, I'm just a little curious."

"Don't worry about it, " She chuckled, handing me my receipt, " I actually get that question all the time. It's just something I go by, an alias, that gives me a little hope. You know?"

"I do. But I think I might come to miss my real name. Not everyone can survive on an alias," I smiled again. It seemed contagious, "I'll see you around, Wish." I called as I took my two bags, tightly wrapped in brown paper.

"It's Melissa!" She called after me, a smile hiding behind rosy cheeks.

I nodded, "Danielle." I called back, before heading out the doors.

~

The smell of nail polish remover tickled my nose as Lizbeth scrubbed at my nails. I was sitting with my back against her headboard and my knees up, a foot on either side of her hips. My hands were perched on my knees, as she sat cross legged in front of me.

She grabbed two bottles of nail polish from a small bin behind her, "Blue or white, for the background?" She smiled, her white teeth perfectly framed by her lipstick.

"Blue, please." I smiled back, my mouth feeling disconnected to the rest of me. She nodded and bent her head over my hands again, busying herself with the job. It hadn't been my idea to let her paint my nails, but when I got home and rushed up to my room to avoid everyone, Mack followed me. He thought a little bonding time would help with me feeling weird around her and her brother.

"What do you think people will say when they see you tomorrow?" Lizbeth kept her head down, but I could feel the curiousity in her voice.

"Honestly?" I shrugged a little, but not enough to move my hands, "I'm not sure. It's been so long. But I did run into an old friend at the market, and he seemed okay with me being back if not a little surprised."

"A friend, " Lizbeth grabbed another bottle of nail polish, "Who?"

"His name is Reid, " I wiggled my toes, as my butt began to fall asleep.

"Reid Pickerman," Lizbeth's voice had gotten quieter, and I nodded as I strained to hear what she was saying, "How do you know him?"

"We went to school together when we were younger. When we lived downtown, he was our neighbor, " I was a little surprised that she was asking, but stuck with it.

"Did anything about him seem," Lizbeth's voice trailed off, before she found the words she was looking for and raised her head to meet my eyes, "Odd?" Her light grey eyes looked darker than usual, as she stared at me. Her lips were pushed into a tight line.

Confused, I shook my head, "No. He was a good friend of mine. Wouldn't hurt a fly if he had to." Suddenly Lizbeth broke out in laughter, her soft chuckles filling the room. I just shook my head at her. When she finally stopped laughing, she sighed and began painting my nails like nothing had happened. What was so funny?