Bently McQuinn Saves Literature

The sun rose slowly and Bently woke with it. Since he was the first one up, he began working on a short piece for an awesome breakfast. By the time he had finished, everyone except for the Hatter was up, so Meggie read them breakfast and they ate happily.

Once everything was packed away, they started for the castle, the morning sun in their eyes. It was a long and very hot walk across the badlands to the castle. Bently used Aguimenti several times to not only let everyone have some water, but to cool them all down. But again, everything was creepily normal. It still didn’t sit well with Bently, and he wanted to get rid of the fairy Alice as soon as possible so everything could go back to nonsensical like it should be.

It took most of the day to get to the castle. In fact, it was late in the afternoon, probably around three-thirty or four. Since the Hatter was leading them, the cards on the towers let down the drawbridge, eyeing them suspiciously.

Inside the front gate were the lavish gardens the Red Queen had once so coveted. All the roses were red, and no, they hadn’t been painted. They had actually been planted correctly. Bently frowned. He had preferred the painted ones. In fact, he had tried to paint his mother’s roses white when he was a child and had first been read Alice in Wonderland. The memory made him laugh internally.

And in the middle of the garden, blocking the path to the interior of the castle, was the black, scaly mass of legs and body; the Jabberwock.

“Dammit,” Bently swore under his breath. His hand gripped the hilt of the sword tightly, turning his knuckles white. Not another lizard thing to fight.

The Jabberwock opened one bright green eye and lazily rose to inspect the newcomers. “Who dares disturb my slumber?” it asked in a deep voice, far deeper than anything Bently had ever heard.

“It is only I, the Hatter, bringing travelers who wish to visit with Alice,” said the Hatter, bowing low to the ground, sweeping his hat with him.

The Jabberwock let him pass, but stopped the companions. “Let me see—Hatter!”

The Hatter jumped in the passageway.

“What is the meaning of bringing the hero to the castle?” the Jabberwock boomed, purple smoke beginning to puff out its nose.

The Hatter merely gaped at the Jabberwock.

“Never mind, you useless fool!” it cried, and turned back to Bently, who had his sword ready.

“Let me through, Jabberwock, or I’ll slay you!” Bently yelled out, sounding far braver than he felt. And yet, he was a lot braver than when he had started this whole ordeal. He signaled to the others to get away from him, and they slowly started sliding away to the bushes.

“Ha! You think you can beat me?” yelled out the Jabberwock vainly.

“You? You’re a pile of old scales!” Bently thought his insult was rather clever, and it made the Jabberwock’s eyes spark with anger.

“You little fool!” it cried out, and lunged for Bently.

But this was exactly what Bently had been waiting for. He slashed out and the Jabberwock reared back, angrier. It blew emerald green flames at Bently, who rolled out of the way and into a shrub. He heard scrambling as one of his companions ran away from the battle. ‘Good,’ Bently thought. ‘I don’t want anyone to get hurt on my behalf.’

And so when the Jabberwock came stomping through the bushes, breathing its fire, Bently again rolled, this time out of the bushes, and started running. He had no idea what he was aiming to do, other than kill the Jabberwock of course.

Green fire was all around him, but he kept running, not daring to look back or stop for fear of being eaten or burnt to a crisp. He kept a tight grip on Gryffindor’s Sword so he wouldn’t lose it no matter how sweaty his hand got. He accidentally nicked his shins a few times with the sword, but it only cut his pants and legs a little. He threw himself behind a stone statue and tried to catch his breath.

“Stop!”

The flames went away, and Bently kept hidden. He thought well enough to pull out his wand and use a Disillusionment Charm on himself. Then he sheathed the sword and crept slowly out from behind the statue.

He saw the Jabberwock had stopped, looking at the statue still. All around them were red cards, and out of the tunnel marched the fairy Alice. She was wearing one of the Red Queen’s dresses, or at least, that’s what Bently assumed, since the dress was red, black, and had a heart pattern on it. The cards nearest her held his companions, and Bently moved slowly away from the statue, praying the Jabberwock couldn’t see him.

Cards rushed the statue, and Bently crouched next to the bushes, trying to flatten himself so they wouldn’t bump him. He doubted they could see him, but just in case, he muttered, “Confundus.” The cards went back to Alice, confused.

“We don’t see him, Your Majesty,” the Eight of Hearts reported.

Alice looked angry. “Well, find him then! I can’t have him wandering around. You!” she shouted, looking up at the Jabberwock now. “How could you let him escape?”

“I’m sorry, Your Majesty, he was very quick—”

“Don’t give me that excuse!” Alice screamed, and from her waist she pulled a long whip that lit with purple flames when she unrolled it. She brought it across the Jabberwock’s face and it flinched back in anger. “Now find him!”

“Yes, Your Majesty,” said the Jabberwock in its deep voice and bowed her out of the courtyard.

“The rest of you, come with me! We need to lock these three away somewhere deep…”

And that was the last thing Bently heard. Frustrated, he relaxed a bit but kept by the hedge. This was not going according to plan… at all. He sat there thinking of things he could do. He could just go find Alice and fight her, but he didn’t see himself winning using this tactic. And if he was going to write something, he would at least need Meggie to read whatever it was he had written. And Alice was really powerful… he didn’t know if he could fight her on his own.

Bently looked up and saw the Jabberwock sniffing around for him. Then Bently got caught with a sudden idea that might just work. He stood and removed his Disillusionment Charm, and called, “Jabberwock!”

The Jabberwock reared when it saw him. “There you are, you slippery fish!” it called, slithering over towards him. “Do you wish to die nobly?”

“I do, but before you kill me,” said Bently, sheathing his sword. “I wish to ask you a question.”

It snorted smoke in his face as it came down to his eye level. “And what is that?”

“Has she always treated you so poorly? Alice, that is.” Bently stood tall and solidly, looking into the Jabberwock’s eye with all his intensity. “Surely you’ve done nothing to warrant such a whipping? And in any case, what is a great beast like yourself doing obeying her commands? You should be out in Wonderland, doing as you please.”

He had no idea why he was talking like this, but it just felt right. The Jabberwock seemed to be pondering his words.

“What is your name, human?” it finally asked.

“Bently McQuinn.”

“Bently McQuinn, you see many things and think well.”

“Thank you. And you, Jabberwock, are very powerful and strong. I was wrong to taunt you before.”

“And I you.”

“I believe we can work together, if you will permit it,” said Bently cautiously. “If you help me, Jabberwock, we can work together to defeat Alice, restore Wonderland to its previous state, and set you free to do whatever you wish.”

“But before Alice took over, I was slave to the Red Queen,” replied the Jabberwock, his eyes narrowing a slight bit.

“I promise you that I will do everything within my power to make sure you are slave to no one,” said Bently, bowing his head. “I give you my word, I swear upon my grave.”

The Jabberwock considered for a moment. “If you can free me, then I will help you free Wonderland, Bently McQuinn.”

Bently grinned and pumped a fist into the air. “Awesome!”

“Climb on my back, Bently McQuinn, and I shall take you to this leech, Alice,” said the Jabberwock, lowering its neck. Bently scrambled on and sat just behind the Jabberwock’s head.

“Let’s go fight some fairy vampires!” Bently cried, and at a breakneck speed, the Jabberwock slithered into the palace.

Bently laid flat on the Jabberwock’s neck, gripping tightly to the great lizard so as not to fall off. They wound through the corridors of the castle, scattering cards out of the way, bursting through doors, and tearing up tapestries of Alice. Finally with a jerk, they burst through the thick doors to the throne room.

The room was tall and long in both extremes. Many stained glass windows lined the walls, making the light in the room slightly red. Tall columns held up the ceiling in between the windows, and the red carpet leading up to the throne was plush.

“Jabberwock! What are you doing in my throne room?” asked the cold voice of Alice. “I don’t need any more distractions right now, I’m trying to get my sight back!”

Either Alice was blind now, or Bently’s writing had worked. The latter seemed more likely, and Bently smirked. He swung his legs to one side of the Jabberwock’s neck and slid off, landing softly on the carpet. He looked up at Alice, still smirking. She looked at him in surprise.

“Good, Jabberwock, you’ve caught him,” she said, pleased, rising from her throne. Bently drew the sword, and she stopped.

“I no longer serve you, Alice Cullen,” said the Jabberwock fiercely, rearing up, nostrils smoking.

Alice’s face fell into a demonic snarl, and she pulled the fire whip from her waist. “So be it. Prepare to die, both of you.” She unfurled the whip and struck it in the air. It grew longer and longer as it lit on fire, sending purple and black sparks of fire, burning the carpet slightly.

The Jabberwock launched itself forward and so did Alice, and they were engaged in a full on fire-fight in moments. Bently didn’t know what to do; they were moving far too fast for him to join in, almost too fast for his eyes to keep up. But he saw an opportunity when Alice whipped the Jabberwock across the face and it stumbled away slightly.

Bently ran forward, sword raised for an attack. He slashed at Alice, and thankfully he was close enough that the Medallion effected her, and she couldn’t dodge away at her fairy speed, only at a human speed. Bently turned and slashed again, but she whipped him and the whip caught around the sword. It burned Bently’s right hand a bit and she wrenched the sword out of his hands, throwing it to the other side of the room. Bently fell over, clutching his hand. Of course, the hand with four fingers just had to get burned too. ‘Of all the crappy luck in the world…’ he thought as he rolled over. Alice was motioning to whip him, but the Jabberwock rammed her and they went sprawling into a column, threatening to destroy it.

Bently scrambled back to his feet. He looked around wildly and finally found the sword, next to the throne. He ran towards it, dodging the green fire of the Jabberwock that crossed his pack, ducked the purple whip fire, and snatched up the sword. He clambered onto the throne’s arms to get a better view of the room. The Jabberwock had Alice in its jaws, but it wasn’t doing anything to her because the Medallion was so far away from her.

“Jabberwock! Throw her to me!” Bently yelled, raising the sword above his head.

The Jabberwock tossed his head and Alice flew through the air in total disarray. She had no sense of where she was going or what was going on around her. The last thing she saw was the Sword of Gryffindor as Bently lept into the air to meet her.

"Off with your head!" Bently yelled, and with the strongest swipe he could muster, he cut off her head. She exploded into white dust and Bently landed, panting. He stood and sheathed the sword. All around them, the crazy colours of Wonderland started coming back. The arches went from plain to heart-shaped, the stained glass windows began depicting the Red Queen doing things only the people of Wonderland would understand, and the Jabberwock had wings again.

“Thank you, Jabberwock,” said Bently. “If you wait here for myself and my friends, I will free you from all slavery.”

“Be quick, and remember what I will do if you fail to free me.”

“I would never dream of betraying you,” Bently swore. He honestly never wouldn’t; the Jabberwock still intimidated him.

He started running back through the corridors, looking for the nearest card. Various creatures from Wonderland cheered him as he ran, but he ignored them. His friends and the Jabberwock were much more important right now.

Finally, he found a card and stopped it. “Where did you take the travelers from the courtyard?” he asked, panting.

“I don’t know,” the card said simply, and began continuing on.

Bently stopped it and shoved it against the wall. “I don’t have time for games! Where are they?”

“In the d-deep dungeon!” the card stuttered.

“Take me there!”

Bently forced the card to run, and they practically flew down more passages. They raced around corners, through doors, past blurs that were creatures and other cards, and down flights of stairs. They went down and down, further and further, deeper and deeper into the castle. It got steadily warmer, contrary to what Bently expected, but then again, Wonderland was back to what they considered normal again.

They finally stopped outside a blank wall. The card pushed on the wall, and it gave way and opened into a cellar with a grassy floor. Inside were King, Meggie, and Lucy. Meggie was the first to jump up. She rushed over and hugged Bently.

“You’re alright Bently! I assume you got rid of Alice, ‘cuz the floor went from stone to grass.”

“Yeah, she’s gone, but I need you guys up in the throne room, especially you, Meggie.”

“Why?”

“I need to free the Jabberwock.”

And so they all followed Bently back up through the castle. Bently had the card lead them back, but not quite as fast because the other three were a bit shaky after being stuck in the cell. Bently’s mind raced twice as fast as his legs, trying to figure out what he wanted to write. By the time they reached the throne room once more, he knew exactly what he wanted to write.

The Jabberwock was still there, and with him was the Hatter, the March Hare, and the real Alice, her blonde curls sweeping around her. Everyone was back to how they should be; completely mad.

“Alright Jabberwock, just let me get it written down and for Meggie to read it, and you’ll be free,” Bently assured the great lizard. He sat on the floor and whipped out the notebook and pen, and began scribbling away.

He was done fairly soon, and Meggie took the notebook. She cleared her throat and began to read.

“For too long the Jabberwock had served the Red Queen. She had forced him to do some unspeakable things, and some things he never would have done under normal circumstances. But now, with a few words, he would be free. The Hatter looked up at Bently, and asked, ‘How is a raven like a writing desk?’ And Bently replied, ‘They are so unalike, they are the same.’ And the Jabberwock felt the magic lift, and he slithered out of the castle and away across the badlands, free to do whatever he wished. He lived to be an ancient age, and no one even considered trying to enslave him ever again.”

Bently looked up and made eye contact with the Hatter, who had one turquoise eye and one bright yellow one.

“Why is a raven like a writing desk?” he asked.

Bently smiled. “They are so unalike, they are the same,” he replied.

The Jabberwock gave Bently a lizard-y smile. “Thank you, Bently McQuinn,” he said in his deep voice, and he slid out of the throne room.

There was a moment of silence that Meggie broke. “Bently, I got a report from Hogwarts while we were in the cell. We need to go back there right away, they’re under attack from Bella and Jacob.”

“Great, just great,” Bently growled. “Alright, take us there.”

“Thank you Bently, for saving Wonderland,” Alice said, waving a delicate hand at him.

“My pleasure,” Bently said, giving her a half smile. And then Meggie pulled out a book and started reading.

“Harry had never even imagined such a strange and splendid place. It was lit by thousands and thousands of candles that were floating in midair over four long tables, where the rest of the students were sitting. These tables were laid with glittering golden plates and goblets. At the top of the hall was another long table where the teachers were sitting.”