Bently McQuinn Saves Literature

Bently found himself once more back in the familiar scene of the Great Hall of Hogwarts. But unlike other times he had been there, the hall was full of characters from its own book. They all had their wands out and were looking at the door as if for waiting for something.

“Bently! Thank Merlin you’re here!”

Neville Longbottom greeted them, walking over to them. “Where’s Pansy?”

“Long story,” said Bently, pulling out his own wand. “Short story is, Jacob kidnapped her and we don’t know where she is.”

“Great. Do you have the Medallion?”

“Yeah, you think you can amplify it’s power?”

“Yes, while it’s in this book, I can,” said Neville, accepting the Medallion from Bently. He waived his wand around it and then levitated it to the center of the Hall. “Anything that comes in the Hall that’s under control of those two, them included, will lose their powers.”

“This Medallion rocks,” Bently muttered.

“What are we doing, Bently?” Lucy asked, looking around the hall in slight confusion.

“Fighting fairy vampires,” Bently replied, smirking.

Then the Great Hall doors burst open, and the fight broke out. “The Crazy are back!” Ernie Macmillen yelled out as he sent spells flying. The Crazy were girls from Bently’s world, ranging thirteen to eighteen years of age, and when they “died,” they burst into blue dust. Just like last time.

“Booyah for familiarity,” said Bently with glee, shooting fire spells at The Crazy. They were practically evaporating from all the Hogwarts students who were fighting. Bently fought with Luna Lovegood and Ernie for quite a while, standing on the Hufflepuff table near the doors, shooting spells almost lazily.

But after a while, everyone was starting to get tired, and The Crazy just kept coming. Bently’s side was also suffering some injuries. Whenever a Crazy got a hold of someone, they scratched like mad with their long nails and kicked like horses. One beat up Terry Boot quite a bit before Ron and Seamus managed to kill it.

“They’re endless!” yelled out Lucy, who was holding her own with her knife.

“Aren’t we hurting them?” asked Meggie. “I mean, they are from your world, Bently.”

“No, when you kill them, they’re just going back to their world,” said King. “It’s only when you get killed in your own world do you get sent to the Blank World, or if someone writes you there.”

Then through the throng of the Crazy waltzed Bella and Jacob, holding hands. They both hissed when they saw Bently.

“So, McQuinn, you live,” growled Jacob. “Well, now it’s time for you and all your Potter friends to meet their ends.”

“You wish, dog boy,” said Bently, and he pounced.

Bella threw herself between Bently and Jacob, and he ended up tackling her instead. “Don’t kill Jacob, I want him alive!” Bently yelled wildly to the others as Bella ripped at his hair. He stashed his wand and resorted to just using his fists. Normally, he wouldn’t hit a girl, but he thought he might make Bella a special case.

“YOU KILLED MY EDDY!” she screamed. People formed a ring around them to keep the fight somewhat contained and from The Crazy from interfering.

“He deserved it!” Bently shouted back. “The Fairy Lord had no place at Hogwarts! And neither do you, Fairy Princess!”

“That’s right, I am a freaking princess!” Bella yelled, scratching Bently’s face and drawing blood. He kicked her off him and he scrambled to his feet, drawing the sword with amazing speed.

Bella was about to lunge at him again but stopped just short of the blade going through her chest. They both stood there, panting furiously. Bella was looking up at Bently with irate, red-rimmed eyes.

“You can’t kill me, I’m a princess,” she breathed.

“Too bad, so sad,” said Bently satirically, and he ran her through with the sword. Bella screamed and turned into a pile of pink dust.

“We’ve got him, too!” yelled out Neville, and he and Ernie threw Jacob into the circle. They had used a binding curse on him, so all he could do was look up at Bently from the floor of the Great Hall.

“Good,” Bently said, kneeling down to Jacob’s level. Bently set the sword against Jacob’s throat. “Where’s Pansy?” he asked.

“It doesn’t matter. Even if you kill me, you’ll never get to the Mistress.”

“Where is she, Jacob?” Bently asked again, a little forcefully. “And I wouldn’t be so sure, I’ve kicked the crap out of all of you, I think I can beat her.”

“You’ll never even get in to Oz,” Jacob laughed. “The Mistress enveloped it in complete darkness. Not even your stupid wands can make light in it.”

Bently stopped for a moment, thinking. If what he said was true, then… they would need that bloody Elf light to get into Oz. And who was the last one to have the light? Pansy, of course.

“That’s great, Jacob, but what did you do with her?” Bently pressed the blade against Jacob’s jaw, drawing a little blood.

Jacob laughed even more. “You’ll never get her back in a million years. Not even your mentor can get her back.”

“WHERE IS SHE GOD DAMN IT?!”

“Bently, don’t you get it?” Meggie asked, her eyes hurt. “She’s in the Blank World. Meyer must have sent her there.”

Jacob started laughing and howling like a maniac. “Shut up!” Bently yelled, and he stabbed Jacob, who burst into brown dust.

Breathing heavily, Bently stood. He was even angrier than Bella had been while they had been fighting.

“King, is there any way we can get her back?”

“Bently, I—”

“Is there any way?”

It was almost a minute before King answered. “I… maybe. But I’ve tried it, and I have never been successful. There’s only one person I can think of who ever did it successfully…”

“Who was it?”

“My mentor, Edger Allen Poe.”

The hall was silent. Bently shook his head. “And… exactly how are we supposed to get Edger Allen Poe here? He’s dead, isn’t he?”

“Of course, but… we could call upon his ghost.”

“Well, then do it.”

King took the notebook and pen from Bently and started writing. He wrote slowly, choosing his words carefully, and the handed the notebook to Meggie.

“If I have any power left, it’ll work,” said King.

Meggie nodded and started reading.

“The Great Hall went deathly silent and cold. Everyone’s breath was soon rising to the ceiling, and people began shivering. Bently stood in the ring of students, holding himself strong against the cold. ‘Edger Allen Poe!’ he yelled. ‘Show yourself!’ Miraculously, the student’s breaths started swirling around Bently. An apparition was slowly appearing in front of him. It was the ghost of Edger Allen Poe.”