Bently McQuinn Saves Literature

Bently hardly got any sleep that night. Not only was he very cold, but he was anxious. Jacob was a werewolf, not a vampire. Would Bently be able to kill him in the same way? Would Jacob burst into a pile of dust, too? Were any of his weapons going to work? And… what if they lost Pansy?

When the sun peaked up from the horizon, Bently got up. Jill had taken watch, and he found her watching the sunrise. But it didn’t look right at all. It was purple.

“It’s pretty,” Jill said sadly. “But it’s so wrong. It doesn’t belong here.”

“Just like Jacob.”

Jill simply nodded her head.

It was a little while before they were ready to head out. Pansy could hardly walk. Her entire left arm was that sickly green now, part of her rotted flesh had actually fallen off (Bently had thrown up when he saw that bit) and it was extending well past her elbow. She looked like a zombie, and acted like one too. Bently was worried about her, but she just drew out her wand and stood stubbornly. ‘Besides,’ Bently reasoned with himself. ‘Where would she have to go? There aren’t any people here anymore.’

The purple sun had fully risen when they set off. They had planned to attack from the shore of the beach, so they were headed for the castle at an angle. But something about the castle made Bently’s hair on the back of his neck stand on end. There weren’t wolves patrolling it anymore.

“Are you sure they’re there?” Bently asked Jill, keeping his eyes on the seemingly deserted palace. He was sure the patrols had been real and not his imagination.

“Yes,” she said cautiously. “Maybe they’re sleeping?”

Bently didn’t think so.

“I say, who is that on the drawbridge?” Eustace asked, shading his eyes from the purple light with his hand. They all did so, and saw a dark, tall figure standing there.

“Should we approach him?” Meggie asked. King opened his mouth to say something when they all heard a voice around them, and dark and deep one.

“So you have come, Bently McQuinn. Come inside. We’ll negotiate from there.” And then the figure turned around and walked inside the courtyard, leaving the door open and the drawbridge down.

Bently stood there considering for a moment. Then he made to go forward, but Meggie caught him.

“Don’t do it, Bently. I think it’s a trap.”

“Of course it’s a trap,” said King. “But we don’t have much of a choice, he knows we’re here. Just lead with your head, Bently, not your heart.”

Bently looked between the two of them. Meggie was anxious, and King was expectant. So Bently gulped and nodded. “We’re going in. Keep close to me.”

They walked in a tight line behind Bently, who lead as bravely as he could. He tried not to shake with every step, neither from anger nor anxiety. He knew already that this would be difficult.

They walked over the drawbridge and through the gates. The second Eustace was clear, the gate fell with a clatter, and they were trapped. But Bently tried to remain calm, even when Meggie gripped his arm tightly. He couldn’t say he hadn’t expected anything less.

With howls and snarls, the wolves were upon them. They snapped and lunged, and soon, the group was scattered about the courtyard edges, except for Bently, who had been chased to the center. Everyone else was being guarded by salivating, crazy-ass steroid wolves, whose eyes were red and fur tinted blue in the purple light. It was nearly noon now.

“So, you’re the new ‘master,’ are you?” asked a voice, and that tan, shirtless fiend Jacob Black stepped out of the circle of wolves. In tow was a girl around the same age as Jill and Eustace with brown hair and a stubborn look on her face. “You don’t look like much,” Jacob added with a smirk.

“Yeah, well, you flat out aren’t much,” Bently retorted. The wolves snarled, but Jacob held up a hand to silence them.

“Hush, my brothers. So Bently, you want to get rid of me, don’t you?”

“Hell yes I do,” he said, gripping his wand tightly. His hand bumped his jacket, and he found the pen in his pocket. ‘When the hell did I get that?’

Jacob laughed a bark-like laugh. “Alright, I’ll play your game. How about you and I have a little contest? The winner will take Narnia.”

“Sounds like a plan,” said Bently, and they started to circle each other slowly. Bently stepped cautiously so he wouldn’t trip over a loose stone. “So what do we do? See who can howl the loudest?”

He thought he heard Pansy cough with amusement from somewhere, and he smiled, gaining confidence.

Jacob frowned. “No. Do you know the ancient art of jousting, Bently?”

“I’ve seen it.”

“Well, prepare to participate.”

Jacob gave a few short barks and a soft whimper, and a few wolves ran off. Within a minute, they herded in two unicorns made of metal, a black one with a fire mane and a white one with a rainbow mane. Bently, of course, got the white one. “Just my freaking luck,” he muttered darkly as he reached out to pat the horse’s neck. It gave a mechanical snort of rainbow fire in pleasure.

“The object is to knock your opponent off his unicorn,” Jacob explained with a false smile.

“I’m not an idiot. Don’t we need weapons?” Bently asked, setting his hands on the horse, hoping he could get on in one try.

“You won’t need any,” said Jacob, and he jumped on his unicorn. The second he was seated, the unicorn charged.

It came at Bently with a speed so great it shouldn’t have been possible. “Oh shi—” he swore, and jumped out of the way just before it trampled him. He scrambled up on his unicorn just as Jacob and his hell unicorn were turning around for another attack. Once Bently was seated, all he could think was, “Run!” And run he did.

His unicorn took off with such a jerk that his next thought was, “Crap, stop!” and the unicorn stopped, sending him flying with a clank against its neck, hitting and bruising his right cheekbone. “It’s my thoughts,” he muttered to himself. “My thoughts control it.”

‘Run forward!’ he commanded, gripping the unicorn around its neck. Riding bareback was even worse than riding with a saddle. And the unicorn ran forward, dodging another attack from Jacob. But then they were headed straight for one of the walls, of both the stone and wolf variety. ‘Crap crap crap! TURN!’ And so the unicorn did, in almost a full circle, and he charged down Jacob. “Yeah!” he whooped. “That’s what I’m talkin’ about!”

But Jacob just jumped over him, creating a rainbow of fire above him. They both skidded to a stop and faced each other. “You’re catching on, McQuinn,” said Jacob with another false smile. “Impressive.”

“It’ll be even more impressive when I kick your ass!” Bently cried, and he charged again.

They just seemed to be going in circles. Bently had gotten the hang of riding this rainbow unicorn, but he just couldn’t get near Jacob. The infuriating ass would just jump Bently, and Bently wasn’t comfortable enough on the horse to jump himself. He was afraid he would get knocked off, and he didn’t want to lose on a technicality.

‘What the hell can I do? This is literally impossible!’ he thought in frustration as he ran up and along a wall, trying to circle back around. And then heard a voice, but it was in his own head.

‘Use Rainbow Strike, my lord,’ said the voice. It was mechanical sounding, and Bently figured it could only be the unicorn. ‘He won’t know what hit him.’

‘Use the WHAT?’ Bently asked.

‘Line me up with him. Then command me to use it.’

‘Alright,’ Bently thought back wearily, and he guided his horse to be facing Jacob. They stood facing each other, ready to charge again.

‘Run!’ Bently commanded, and the two unicorns charged each other. Bently waited until the last possible second before he gave the order. ‘Now! RAINBOW STRIKE!’

For a few milliseconds, Bently was weightless. There were rainbows all around him, and he felt like he was the leprechaun from the Lucky Charms commercials. His unicorn was pulsing forward, and with an echoing crash, he went straight through the hell unicorn. Jacob went flying, the hell unicorn was cut cleanly in half, and Bently stopped, triumphant, a bit of rainbow still trailing behind him. And as Jacob landed with a thud on the ground, Bently’s companions began to cheer, whoop, and holler.

Jacob started howling, but very few of the wolves followed suit. Most of them just looked at him with curious expressions on their faces. “What are you waiting for?” Jacob screamed. “Attack him!”

“It’s over, Jacob,” Bently said, dismounting his unicorn. “You’re finished. Now get out.”

“Never!” screamed Jacob ravenously, and he ran to the nearest of Bently’s companions, which just happened to be Pansy.

“Pansy!” Bently yelled, but Jacob was slashing at the air with one hand as he restrained Pansy with the other. A black and blue swirl of space appeared, and Jacob threw Pansy inside, before setting in one foot himself.

“This isn’t over, Bently McQuinn,” he growled. “You’ve won this time, but next time you won’t be so lucky.” Bently lunged, but Jacob had already jumped through. The portal closed just as Bently reached for it.

He lay face-down on the cool stone ground, waiting, wishing, dreaming, praying that the wolves would rush him and tear him to pieces. Even though Jacob was gone, so was Pansy, and he felt an overwhelming rush of disappointment and failure.

“Bently? Are you alright?”

Meggie’s hand turned him over, and she knelt by him, concern in her eyes.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Bently grunted in reply, sitting up. Looking around, he saw that the wolves were morphing into other creatures and even people. And up in the sky, the sun was turning yellow again, and the sky blue, and the snow was melting. Spring had come again.

“Writing master! You’ve saved us!”

The girl named Lucy was rushing up to him now, dropping to her knees and hugging him. Bently was caught by surprise, and nearly toppled over. But she had a huge grin on her face.

“You’ve freed Narnia from Jacob’s reign! Now we can join the fight!”

“Lucy!”

She whipped around to see a boy about Bently’s age with blonde hair running to her. “Peter!” Lucy cried, and she jumped up to embrace him too. “I feared you had been turned into a wolf!”

“Yes, and Susan and Caspian and Edmund are all here somewhere too,” Peter added. He turned to Bently, and offered him his hand. Bently took it, and Peter yanked him to his feet.

“Thank you, my brother,” he said kindly. “You have saved Narnia, my world.”

“Yeah, no problem,” Bently said, forcing himself to smile.

“You look pained. Are you alright?”

Bently decided to tell the truth. “Jacob got away and took one of my fellow travelers, my best magic user.”

“I’m sorry,” Peter said. And he really did seem sorry. “I wish I knew of a way to help you.”

“I’ll help them!” Lucy said brightly. “I want to help fight against Meyer!”

“Luce, you’re still a kid.”

“No I’m not! I’m nearly fourteen, and I’ve been in just as many battles as you have! Plus, I can heal people!” Lucy pulled out a bottle of red liquid and held it proudly up to the light. By now, King, Meggie, Jill, and Eustace had joined the group.

Bently’s mind whirled when he saw the crystal vial. “What is that?” he asked.

“It’s a cordial that can cure anything,” Lucy said, excited.

“We could use someone like you.”

Lucy looked shocked, but in a good way. “Oh, really?” She turned and looked up at Peter. “Peter? Can I go with them please? If they need me, then they need me!”

Peter looked nervous. “Yes, but Lucy, you can’t just go off—”

“I’ll be fine.”

“We’ll look after her,” said Meggie. “She’s not that much younger than me, and I’ve been fine.”

“We’re going to need all the help we can get if we want to take down Meyer,” added King. He looked just as exhausted as Bently felt. He held the notebook tightly in his hand, along with another book.

Peter looked at them all. Everyone except Lucy was stony-faced, and she looked pleadingly up at him. Finally, he sighed. “Alright, you can go. But please Lucy, be careful.”

Lucy beamed and hugged him. “I will! Thank you Peter!”

“Make sure she stays safe,” Peter added to Bently. Bently nodded.

“We’ll watch out for her, don’t worry.”