Fireflies.

Of course the moment I raised the glass to my lips, the front door opens with a slam. Fear again ripped through me, and I felt myself slip into the kind of trance state that I had long since learnt to slip into in moments of fear. The music still blasted and I regretted putting it on. I couldn't hear everything above the base.

And the one thought that I was trying to keep from my mind, flooded through it. You know when someone tells you not to think of a purple elephant and regardless of how hard you try, you still think of the little fucking elephant. This was one of those moments, because regardless of how hard I tried, I couldn't help imagining that it was Eric walking through my door.

I slipped out of the bath, I couldn't take it anymore. I wasn't going to play the girl in the horror movie, who ends up with her throat slit in the bath tub, left for hours before finally her family comes home and well you know the rest. I moved silently and quickly, slipping on the bathrobe and heading down the hall.

I needed a weapon, and the closest one was in the kitchen. I moved silently again, my bare feet making no sound across the hardwood floors. I slipped around the island, the toaster and other bits and pieces still lay on the floor, I hadn't picked them up yet.

Its funny how triggers work, one minute your mind is clear and the next its full of the memories you wish above all else you could forget. The touch of his hand on my cheek. The way I was pressed against both him and the wall. The way his eyes, like the deepest pits of hell, held a coldness, but also something else, something I still hadn't worked out.
all of this and more rushed through my mind, before I could summon the walls to shove them out of my mind. But here, in the kitchen, it was almost impossible not to think about today's events. I forced myself to focus, to focus on the fact that Eric may in fact be in my apartment. Again.

Finally, with a knife in hand I continued on to the bedroom, the blade was a comfort. I heard movement, the slamming of draws and cloths being tossed aside. I slipped past the door, and Lent against the wall. My back pressed firmly against its cool surface, as I planned it out in my head.

I sprung, moving through the door and towards the person. It was dark, whoever it was hadn't bothered to turn on a light. I moved in the same striking way I would if the person was a vamp. Reaching out and slamming him against the wall.

The moment my hand touched their shoulder, I knew it wasn't Eric. How? I'm not entirely sure, just a feeling in my gut. Although I didn't face any king of darkness, I faced a very pissed off boyfriend. "Estelle what the fuck. Get off me." He hissed, his eyes hard. The fact that he couldn't shove me off, gave me some satisfaction. I let him go and took a step back, tossing the blade onto the set of draws as I turned and walked away.

I was full of adrenalin and the emotions from earlier hadn't passed. I was doing him a favour in walking away. But of course, he wanted an explanation. "What the hell, you attack me and you walk away." He yells after me, and I hear his steps behind me as I turned off the music.

I say nothing and make my way back to the bathroom. But I didn't get very far, his hands circled around my wrist and pull me towards him. His eyes hard, as he opens his mouth to yell something again, I cut in. My voice crossing my lips in an angry hiss, "don't. Just don't." My voice holding enough warning.

I turn away and try to walk away again, but his hands circle around my wrist again and I'm again forced to face him. "No, you don't Estelle. You don't get to attack me like that and not give me an explanation. Or an apology. Who did you think it was, I told you I was coming over, its not as if Eric-c". He finally shut up and it clicked. Understanding and regret flashed in his pale blue eyes and I ripped my hand free.

Fucking guys.