Fireflies.

I wonder if the past twenty-four hours had been a dream. A horrible terrifying nightmare, but not real nether the less. If only I was so lucky.

I made it back to my apartment finally, but I realised something in my walk of shame away from Eric. That every step away from him caused the symptoms to come back with a vengeance. By the time I was back home, I could hardly stand. The weakness that plagued my every limb was intense.

I leant back against the couch, grateful for its proud and strong stance against my weak frame. My body was failing me, and the thought pissed me off.

I reached out with shaky hands and flipped on the TV, and let the news play in the background.

I shouldn't believe Eric, everything he said was laced with plots and tactics. He was one hell of a manipulative bastard. But the truth was no Hunters knew how vamps where made. There was no record of them in any of our books, or files. Many hunters over looked this, they just wanted to kill the suckers they didn't care where they came from. They where evil and wrong.

But how many of them had been triggered by accident, and their existence un recorded? The thought made me wince, how many of them had I killed?

The whole Immortals where descendants of angels was hard to wrap my head around. I lived a life of nightmares and fantasy, full of darkness and temptation. The possibility that angel's existed somewhere shouldn't be so hard to wrap my head around. But god it was hard.

Darkness, and sin plagued this world. The possibility of light, goodness was frightening.

I was exhausted in a way that put an ache in your body, a dull pain that was bone deep. I pulled a throw rug off the back of the couch and I pulled it over me as I stretched out on the couch. Shuddering softly as the soft fabric ran over my exposed arms. I hesitated a moment before I tugged off my jeans, no easy feat when trying to do it while remaining in a horizontal position.

Finally free of the jeans, I ran my legs over one another. Trying to generate warmth, it was freezing in here. I didn't have the energy to turn on the heater though.

I longed for sleep but knew it would remain out of reach for a while yet. As there was something else that I had yet to let myself think about, a thought I'd been carefully shoving away and distracting myself with my impending immortality.

Eric.

I closed my eyes against the thought, as I bit my bottom lip with a mixture of rage, regret and desire. I could still taste his lips on mine, and the echo of the emotion he had triggered floated through me. I wanted to blame him for every little problem in my life, blame it on his cunning and destructive nature. But I couldn't.

Not without the sense of emptiness that echoed against the other flashes of emotion. He took away the symptoms, I don't know how but he did. He gave me back the feeling of strength, the strength I had felt in my limbs. In my every step. The frightening and glorious truth of knowing I could hurt someone when threatened.

I wanted it back, I couldn't handle this weakness. It was infuriating. I sighed through my gently parted lips as I compared him and Alex. I shouldn't, I know its wrong. Alex is my boyfriend and Eric is, well not entirely sure what he is.

But even with Alex I had to hold back, I remember one incident when we had first gotten together. I had become lost in the dizzying heights of passion, surrounded in a cloud of heat and warmth. And I'd grabbed his side so hard, I'd cracked a rib. I had been shocked at my own strength, as had Alex. From then on I couldn't let myself loose control, I had to refrain from hurting him. He wasn't weak, he was as strong as any human could be. But I was stronger.

I made sure it didn't happen again and he forgot it ever happened. But I had never forgotten.

I knew I would never have to hold back with Eric. The thought sent heat through me, and the memory of the kiss consumed me. The heat in his lips, the sheer roughness of it. The raw and empowered edge that surrounded him had been translated through his movements. He pushed me, when others where to afraid too. He didn't back down when I got angry, he unhinged me in a way that was down right scary.

His strength drew me in, enclosed me in an embrace full of temptation and desire. I let my mind slip into that trance like dream state, where reality becomes twisted and wonderful as I replayed his kiss and every other encounter. Letting it pave the way to sleep, and a safe darkness that took you away from the harsh reality of life.

***