I Left My Heart in San Diego

CURRENT STORY DATE: 09/03/10

"Holy crap...," I muttered to myself as I caught my reflection in the mirror. My hair was a fucking mess: I has put it up yesterday, into a ponytail, but today it just looked like a rat's nest. I didn't bother wiping off the blended streaks of mascara and eyeliner that were caked onto my face from crying myself to sleep last night. I tiredly looked over at the clock: 8 A.M. Billie, Mike, and Tre were leaving for their first mini-tour in two hours, and I needed to get my ass over to Billie's house so I could spend every last second with him before I didn't see him for the next two weeks.

I sighed, squeezing the punk teddy bear Billie had given me for my birthday against my chest. I took in a big breath of the teddy, the bottom of it still smelling just like Billie. I smiled thinking of him as a single tear fell down my face out of the corner of my eye.

My mom then walked through my bedroom door, seeing me see myself in my mirror, and how I was starting to cry again. She walked up to me, gently laying a hand on my shoulder. I looked over at her, my eyes wet with fresh tears that were starting to etch away at the caked mascara and eyeliner lines on my face. "Hi, honey," she said to me quietly, a small smile turning up the corners of her mouth. "How are you?" she asked, rubbing a hand up and down my right arm.

I tore away from her, sitting down on my bed and cuddling Billie's teddy even closer. "What does it look like?" I said, too tired from crying to make my voice have any note of venom in it.

My mom came and sat down next to me, keeping a vigilant hand on her very pregnant stomach like she was afraid she was going to have the baby any day now. Which was probably true, but there were more pressing things than just her having a baby. Her hand returned to my shoulder, squeezing it this time as I sighed and more tears kept flowing. "I know this sucks for you, honey, but two weeks will go by before you know it," she said, smiling as I looked over at her. She stood up, offering me her hand. "Come on, sweetheart. I'll help you look so gorgeous for Billie Joe that he won't ever forget the way you looked when he left." That made me smile, and I took my mom's hand, ready for whatever she was going to suggest to me.

~~~***~~~

"Don't worry, Arizona. Two weeks will go by before you know it," my mom repeated to me as I hugged her and walked out the door to Billie's house. "Give my regards to Billie Joe and his band!" she called after me. I smiled as I headed across the cul-de-sac.

I didn't have to duck under Billie's garage door this morning, because it was open, David and who I assumed was Alan helping Mike load Tre's covered drum set into a white, unmarked trailer that was attached to the back of Mike's truck. I saw half of Billie sticking out of Mike's truck, maybe fishing around for something or standing up the seats in the back. I walked up to him and grabbed his ass, making him jump and hit his head on the frame of the car as he brought his head out. "Who the fuck was - oh, Arizona, it's just you," he said, rubbing the spot where he hit his head.

I was laughing at him, smiling. "Hi, Billie. Sorry I made you hit your head," I said, stepping up on tiptoe to kiss the spot where his hand was.

He smiled, leaning down to kiss me on the lips. His lips were on mine extra long, like he didn't want to leave me. Hell, I know he didn't want to leave me, especially when I was pregnant with his child, but I came into his life after he had scheduled this tour, and I wasn't going to let me hold him back. Green Day needed this.

When we broke apart, Billie's eyes were a soft yellow-green, looking like he was about to cry, but I knew he wouldn't. Not in front of his best friends, not in front of me, and certainly not in front of his older brothers. I smiled widely at him, and he smiled back, kissing me again. When we pulled apart the second time, he sighed, his hands on my waist swaying me side to side. "I'm gonna miss you so much," he murmured, kissing me softly and quickly on the lips.

"Um, hello? I'm the one pregnant with your child. I'm so gonna miss you so much more," I argued, chuckling.

Billie laughed, kissing me yet again. "Okay, okay, you're right." He looked over at Mike and Tre, shaking hands with David and Alan as they retreated back into Billie's house, obviously done with all the help that Mike and Tre needed. Billie looked back over at me, pressing his forehead to mine, not wanting to let me go. "I hate to leave you," he said.

I smiled, lightly kissing him on the lips. "It could be worse," I said.

"Could be raining," Billie said. I laughed, kissing Billie passionately for a few minutes before he could see my grinning face again. "I knew you'd enjoy that."

I kissed him lightly again. "Very much. But what I meant is that it could be worse because I could be, like, ready to have this kid instead of barely being pregnant," I told him.

Billie chuckled. "Yeah, that would be a lot worse. Speaking of being ready to have a kid, how's your mom?" he asked.

"She's good. She's supposed to be due in, like, two weeks, so she really only has one hand," I answered. Billie raised an eyebrow. "Because the other is permanently glued to her stomach."

Billie nodded. "Okay, that makes sense."

"Billie?" Tre asked, tapping him on the shoulder. Billie looked up, his forehead disconnected from mine. "It's time to go," he said solemnly, squeezing Zie's hand. I looked up at Zie, who smiled faintly at me, but I could tell that she had been crying, too, because her face was red. I smiled back at her, trying to hold back my tears.

Billie sighed, leaning his forehead against mine again and kissing me passionately, almost having a miniature make-out by Mike's truck door. When we pulled apart, I could see the trails of tears that had rubbed off on Billie's face. He smiled as he rubbed them off both his face and my face. "I love you so much, Arizona," he whispered.

I kissed him a good couple more times, Billie reciprocating my kisses. "I love you, too, Billie Joe," I whispered back. "Be careful," I told him, sniffling and poking him in the chest.

Billie pulled me into a bear hug, making me cry even harder than I already was. "I will be," he said, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. "I'll call when we're done our first show."

"Where are you going, again?" I asked, wiping my eyes with my thumbs.

Billie sighed as he started to remember. "Berkeley, San Fransisco, San Jose, Fresno, Santa Barbara, Los Angeles, Long Beach, Santa Ana, San Diego, Sacramento, and then back to Berkeley before we come back home," he answered. "In that order."

I sighed, kissing him again. "Well, you be careful. The baby and I'll be really lonely without you," I said.

Billie smiled. "Well, absence only makes the heart grow fonder," he said.

I smiled. "I hope that's true."

"Come on, Billie!" Mike called from the driver's seat. "We have to get going if you want some time to practice before the shows tonight!"

Billie sighed, kissing me one last time and giving me a big squeeze before letting me go. "I love you, Arizona," he said, releasing my hand and walking around the front of the truck.

"I love you, too, Billie Joe," I called up to him as he climbed in and stuck his head out the back seat window.

Zie, Mary Jane, and I all stood on Billie's driveway, tears silently streaming down all of our faces as we watched our boyfriends turn off the street, only God knowing what would happen to them after that.