I Left My Heart in San Diego

CURRENT STORY DATE: 06/25/11

I watched the Green Day trailer turn the corner and my husband wave goodbye, bouncing Cadence in my left arm, and waving back with my right. I tried to make sure that none of my tears fell on Cadence's head, but, as I looked down at her when the truck was out of sight, there were a few drops on the top of her head, which I gently rubbed away with my thumb.

I felt Zie's hand on my shoulder then, and I turned around to face her. "You okay?" she asked quietly. I always admired Zie for her strong will, because I hadn't seen her shed one tear today. And her boyfriend was leaving for the next two months with Mary Jane's boyfriend and my husband today.

I nodded, wiping my tears from my face with my right hand. "I will be, anyway."

Zie smiled, then sobered, looking me in the eye. "Did you tell him?" she asked.

I shook my head, looking down at Cadence. "I didn't have the courage to." I looked up at Zie. "I wanted him to go off on this tour without anything to worry about," I explained.

Zie shook her head disapprovingly. "Ari. He's going to worry anyway. He's going to be spending two whole months away from you," she said.

I smiled. "Well, then, I don't want to give him something extra to worry about," I said, chuckling.

Zie chuckled as well, but sobered up again and sighed. "So when are you going to tell him?"

I sighed as well and shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe not until he comes back."

"Arizona! That's two months away! He'll see before you can tell him, and you know he'll suspect the worst," Zie said.

I nodded. "I don't know when then! But I'll tell him."

"Alright. We'll see you at the first show tonight, okay?"

I smiled and nodded. "Definitely." I waved and turned around to head back to my house.



Start Flashback: 06/11/11

"I can't believe you'll be leaving next week," I murmured to Billie as the first rays of sun peeked through his blinds.

He propped himself up on his right elbow, laying his head on his right hand, and placed his left hand on my hip, squeezing it. I moved closer into him, and he kissed my forehead. "I do and I don't want to leave," he murmured back.

I smiled. "I can only imagine how you feel about this whole thing. Here, at home, you have a new wife and a new daughter, but you also have an amazing band to promote out there."

Billie nodded and squeezed my waist again, burying his face in my shoulder. The hand that he was propping himself up on went in my hair, and Billie started kissing my neck. I sucked in a breath in surprised. I felt Billie smile against the skin of my neck, and he squeezed my waist again, harder, and he kept his hand in that position. I moaned softly and let my neck drop forward and my nails dig lightly into the skin of Billie's naked back. He brought his face up out of my neck and looked at me. I saw a twinkle in his eye, and, thinking that if Cadence started crying, Ollie would always hear and come take care of her. She always took every chance she got to spend some time with her granddaughter.

I kissed Billie roughly, and he kissed me back with even more passion. I knew that we both knew that this would be the last time we would be together like this until Billie returned from the tour. Passion was our only aim as we quickly, and roughly shed clothes.



"Damn, boy. You still got it," I gasped, turning my head to look over at him.

Billie grinned and kissed my cheek. "We really have to get you more used to me," he said, playing with a strand of my hair.

I laughed. "Agreed. If every time is like that, I could get used to getting used to you," I said.

Billie chuckled and kissed my cheek again, kissing a line across my jaw and turning my face toward his. He kissed me lightly on the lips and rolled me on my side to face him. "I love you, Arizona."

I grinned and kissed the top of his nose. "I love you, too, Billie Joe." Billie grinned and kissed me on the lips again. "Everyone's going to miss you terribly. I even told my mom and Aran, and she's like, 'Oh, well we'll miss seeing him around.' Aran just nodded and said jokingly, 'Yeah, I was getting used to the punk hanging around.'"

Billie smiled. "Sounds like you two are warming up to each other a bit more."

I nodded, rubbing my thumb back and forth across his intertwined angels tattoo. I then looked down at his arm, at the tattoo, and started tracing the outline of it lightly with my index finger. "Yeah, we're actually pretty close now. It's pretty cool." There were a few moments of silence and me tracing the outline of Billie's tattoo before I spoke again. "Cadence and I are going to miss you even more than anyone else."

"Even more than my mom?"

I chuckled, nodding. "A lot more than your mom. Maybe it'll give us the chance to spend some time together, though. Your mom and I don't hang out like we used to," I said.

Billie nodded. "She says things like that sometimes. Just random little bits of things that I find useful later in life."

I smiled and I heard Cadence's cries down the hall. Billie kissed me one last time before I arose from his bed and started putting on a mixture of both of our clothes. Billie smiled as he saw me throw one of his t-shirts over my head and walk out of the room.



Damn. I wrapped it up in toilet paper and threw it out, leaning against the counter. I wasn't sure how I felt; I was partly happy because I knew this was just an extension of Billie and I as a family, but I was also a bit freaked because Green Day was leaving for a make-up tour tomorrow, and they wouldn't return for two months. I was also a bit freaked because I hadn't really gotten used to being a parent yet. Cadence was only two months old! I still had the rest of her life to learn how to be a teenage parent, and this would just make it harder.

There was one thing I knew for sure, though: I wasn't going to tell Billie right away. I didn't want to give him anything extra to worry about while he's on tour.

"Babe?" Billie called. "You up there?"

"Yeah," I called back.

End Flashback.



I bounced Cadence in my arms once or twice as I walked across the cul-de-sac back to my house, feeling much happier since I remembered I was going to the first show of the mind-blowing tour of the most fucking amazing band I had ever heard.

I entered my house with a big smile on my face and ran into Aran on my way up to Cadence's room at my house. "Hey, Arizona. Heading out to see Billie Joe's first show tonight?" he asked.

"Green Day's first show, yes," I said.

Aran nodded. "Alright. Your mom and I aren't planning on going out tonight, so we'll watch Cadence for you," he said.

I smiled. "Thanks, I appreciate it."

He smiled back at me. "Sure thing. Your mom and I might as well take advantage of the rare times we get to spend with her. Your mom says sometimes that she feels like she doesn't even know her own granddaughter." Aran chuckled at the end of his last sentence.

"Well, I probably won't be back till late tonight, so tell my mom she'll have a lot of that time with Cadence," I said.

Aran nodded. "Will do. What time does the show start?"

"Eight," I answered.

Aran nodded again and glanced at a clock I couldn't see. "You should probably start getting ready," he suggested.

I nodded this time. "That's what I was heading upstairs to do," I said.

"Alright. Well, have fun at the show. Give my best to Billie Joe and his band on their tour."

I smiled. "I will." Aran walked back into the kitchen, probably to join my mother in making dinner for themselves. Zie, Mary Jane, and I were all going to catch dinner before the show and meet some other friends at the show.

It was going to be a fucking amazing night.