Eyes Open

The bitter air stung Troy’s flushed face as he paced around in the small clearing in front of the little house. He paced one way, stopped abruptly, jumped around on the spot, went in several directions, paced back, kicked at the floor ... he couldn’t settle. He couldn’t settle at all – all he could do was relive the last few hours in his head over and over, like a stuck film sequence. All he could see was the Slender Man’s parting stare, how pale Jeff went, the cruel branch jutting out of his stomach, the pain in his eyes and he gave Troy his final instructions ...

Troy was still clutching the little black notebook and the car keys in his hand, and the feel of them made everything more painful. Jeff had been a person, a human being with a life and faults and qualities and talents and feelings, and now all that was left was a notebook, some car keys and a bettered old Chevy.

Troy carefully tucked the notebook in one pocket and the keys in the other, the tears stinging at his eyes unpleasantly. He just couldn’t believe what had happened. He couldn’t believe that, merely hours before, he and Nate had been sitting at the table with Jeff, enjoying their first hot meal in a while and laughing and joking. Now that tall bastard had taken Jeff from them and there was nothing they could do to bring him back – he had been killed by something that they couldn’t understand, but that could understand them perfectly.

"You fucking bastard," Troy hissed, glaring at the line of trees around him. "I suppose you’re proud, eh? I suppose it’s a success for you? Is that all you want? Is that all you do? Are you ever going to actually want something, or are you just a sadistic bastard? What do you fucking want?"

Everything had suddenly become too real. At first Troy had only thought that it had been a simple hallucination. He had been scared he was crazy – but that seemed preferable right now. He could combat that with medication, with help. It would be just things firing in his brain that shouldn’t be firing. After a while it would be fine. But then he realized that it wasn’t a hallucination, it was real. But thinking back to those days still seemed better than now – the Slender Man had simply stood there, watching silently. Troy could deal with that. Hell, he could deal with a tall suited guy watching him if that was all he was going to do – watch. But now ... now the thing was violent, malicious, malevolent.

That was something else. That was dangerous, and now, life-threatening. What was to say that he or Nate wouldn’t be next?

Troy squeezed his eyes shut, another emotion beginning to mix in with the grief. Guilt. It was his fault they were even here. Slender Man wanted him, not Nate, not even Jeff at that point. And Troy had simply run away instead of facing up to what was going on. He had run away and now Jeff was dead. What if he had just gone with the creature? At least that way no one innocent would have died.

Anger suddenly surged through Troy, and he picked up the nearest object – a muddy stick, and hurled it into the first line of trees.

"You bastard!" he screamed, and his voice was so loud that several birds flew up from their nesting places. "If you want to get me so bad why don’t you just do it now? I’m by myself here! You fucking idiot, you could take me whenever you wanted! Why are you fucking messing with us?"

The silence screamed back at Troy, and he knew that it was just a reflection on the fact that there were no answers. The Slender Man worked in his own ways and right now, Troy wasn’t anywhere near to understanding the slightest bit about any of them. The Slender Man had his own motives, his own way of working, and the unfair thing was the fact that while Troy was in the dark about the creature, Slender Man seemed to understand humans perfectly. There was something about the way he made his moves – like he was toying with them, like he anticipated every single action. Nothing seemed to surprise him.

Troy sighed into the silence and then turned around, his back to the trees, walking back towards the house. He wasn’t going to go inside – he didn’t think he could bare to – but he needed to move. Standing still like that was making him think, and he didn’t want to think. Thinking just made more questions, more questions meant less answers, and less answers meant more frustration. Troy felt as though he were going to burst as it was: all of the anger, the grief, the guilt, the fear ... it was all coming to a head inside him and he just wanted to scream, or run, or curl up and cry. Anything to get the emotions out.

But he couldn’t. He was stuck here, in this stupid little clearing, with this stupid creature lurking around in the woods, with nothing to do except pace around the house, stupidly. He paced around for a lot longer, trying desperately to settle on a single thought for more than a split second. It was next to impossible. His mind was racing, thoughts bouncing off of one another, not necessarily being related to the previous thought. Eventually, though, one thought forced its way into the forefront of Troy’s mind, and he stopped his pacing in shock as the meaning of it hit him.

What were they going to do with Jeff? They couldn’t just leave him in the house to rot.

Troy stayed there, contemplating this thought for a few long, depressing minutes, before he took off in a fast jog towards the old, dilapidated shed across the clearing. He wasn’t optimistic that he would find anything in there, but it was worth a shot. The shed itself was made from wood, and it hadn’t survived the years of abandonment as much as the house had. It didn’t take Troy a lot of effort to break in – the padlock was attached to the bolt, which in turn was attached to the weakened, semi-rotted wood. Troy managed to break the entire bolt off with ease, and the door simply flopped open, barely staying on its hinges.

Inside, it was dark, and the air was musty and damp. Troy watched as spiders scuttled away from the sudden light. They probably hadn’t seen light in their whole lives.
He yanked the door open as far as it would go, letting in as much light as was possible. The dust in the air was thick and obscured most of his vision, but as his eyes adjusted to the light he managed to work out the bulky, cobweb covered shapes of various gardening equipment. It was weird to think about the clearing around the little house ever having a garden that was remotely tame – in some places it was all barren and muddy, as though thousands of people had trampled over it, and in others weeds and wild flowers grew out of control, beginning to take back the structure that had taken land from them.

Troy dug through many useless piles of junk, feeling the unpleasant sensation of many alarmed creepy crawlies scuttling over his bare hands, before he finally found what he was looking for. It was a spade, and he knew digging Jeff a decent grave with it would be a seriously hard task, but he was willing to try. It was the least he could do - if Jeff hadn’t attacked the Slender Man Troy know he wouldn’t be here right now. And he couldn’t let his friend just lie in that house to rot. He deserved a grave, something placed to remember him by, at the very least.

He picked up the spade, carrying it out into the sunlight and spending a short while picking away the cobwebs and brushing off the dust. It looked sturdy enough – the wood making up the handle has been varnished and therefore had survived the damp better than the shed. The blade at the bottom still looked sharp and it seemed like it would last long enough to make a decent sized grave at least. It was going to be the most depressing thing that Troy had ever done, but the mere thought of just leaving Jeff on the couch was making Troy determined to get this done.

Troy picked a nice spot, under a tree that hadn’t lost its leaves like all the others. It was strange that it hadn’t, as it didn’t seem to be an evergreen, but Troy took it as a sign that it was the right place. It was also a little further away from the line of trees, so Troy knew it wouldn’t be a likely spot for the Slender Man to lurk. Then, he started digging. It was tough going at first, as the ground was cold and hardened, but eventually he broke through this layer and it got slightly easier. All the while, he kept his mind busy, trying to focus on anything hopeful. He tried to convince himself that he would work this out soon enough – not only for himself, but for Nate, and Jeff, and of course Rosie. He also focused on what Jeff had said about warning others – the Slender Man wouldn’t have his mystery for long once Troy was finished. He was going to warn anyone he could. If he focused on these things instead of all the bad that lay ahead of him, perhaps he could force himself to carry on. One day at a time. One foot in front of the other. Keep calm and carry on.

Troy had been so deep in thought that he hadn’t noticed anyone approaching until another spade clunked down beside him. Pausing, Troy looked up, to see that it was Nate who had joined him. They made brief eye contact, but neither of them had to say anything at all. They both knew what the other was thinking, and together, they simply carried on digging.

Eventually, they had to admit that the work was done, and now they had to face the hardest part – actually moving Jeff. It was with a lot of hesitation that they went back into the house. Nate had clearly been upstairs, as Jeff was now covered with a blanket.

"I didn’t want to just leave him there like that," Nate said softly, and Troy nodded.

"I know," was all he said. It was all he really needed to say. He was glad that Nate had covered Jeff – he didn’t think he could have coped if he’d had to see him like that again – so still.

Together, they carried him slowly and carefully out of the house, across the short distance over the clearing, and finally over to the grave under the tree, whereupon they lowered him down into it, equally as carefully, making sure the blanket stayed over him. It was the best they could do for a coffin, and although it was nowhere near good enough, Troy liked to think that Jeff appreciated the effort.

For a while, both Troy and Nate knelt beside the open grave, both of them thinking, perhaps even praying.

Eventually, Troy spoke. He had to.

"Thanks, man," he said softly. "You saved my ass back there. I don’t really know how to make it up to you yet ... I guess I can’t. But you’ve taught me a lot. I know I was a bit of a dick, but I heard what you said and I’ll remember it. I’m going to do my best to work everything out, OK? And I promise, if I can ever find my way back here, I’ll come back every so often. I’m not going to forget you. Goodbye, man."

"See you, Jeff," was all Nate managed to say, before they started the long task of filling in the grave. The wind danced across the clearing, bringing with it the red leaves, and when they settled, they covered up mostly of the freshly dug dirt.

"If I hadn’t spoken to him on that forum ..." Nate said softly, as they looked down upon the grave.

"Don’t, man," Troy said quietly. "We can’t do that to ourselves. There are lots of what ifs and if onlys. We have to move forward. We need to work this out, for Jeff."

Nate paused.

"Yeah," he eventually said softly. "We should ... we should go back to the car."

It took them another half an hour before they managed to pull themselves away. It was with heavy hearts that they turned their back on the grave and walked slowly out of the clearing.

Troy thought he spotted a familiar tall figure observing their goodbyes, but he ignored it. It didn’t deserve any of his thoughts at the moment. All he could think about was Jeff.