Status: Working on it(:
Multiple Personality Disorder Victims Still Fall in Love
Normal Hannah
I woke up and looked at the time. It made me burst into tears. This time I had been in the other personality for eight hours, an extra hour than usual. I have Multiple Personality Disorder, and what I have heard about the other personality, the other person as I say, it`s not great. I hate it though most not because it`s not a great personality, but because I can`t remember any of it. I miss out on my own life. Hours and hours of my life just gone. Have you ever been so drunk you can`t remember that day? Try having that happen every day and it wasn`t even your fault.
I have had this for two years. I take medicine, that I don`t remember taking, and it makes me come back to myself, and I go to a therapist, it apparently helps. My mom is constantly telling me that it is probably because of Anna, and to try to remember what she did to me. I don`t want to remember, I can`t remember. She thinks it will help, but I know it won`t. She broke my heart, simple as that.
My dad, Anna, and waking up like this all puts me through hell, literal and none literal. I could cry for hours and hours and hours and feel like total and otter shit, or I could imagine being in hell. Hell is quite a better place then thinking about those things. I imagine being on fire, my body burning like hell, screaming, not being able to escape, watching as the finial ashes of others blow away, they are totally gone. Yes, I know I sound crazy, but it`s better than thinking about those things. That`s how bad they make me feel.
“Mom,” I cried out.
“Baby? Are you okay?” She asked me rushing into my room, concerned. I could see that her heart broke as soon as she saw all of those tears coming from my big blue eyes.
“I don`t even remember putting these clothes on,” I said grabbing the shoulders of my v-shirt and shaking it. I was wearing that along with plaid shorts that went to my knees, they were pink and grey. I grabbed the pink beaded necklace off of my neck and threw it across the room, I hated wearing something I didn`t remember putting on. My mom came under my covers and cuddled up against me and held me, she knew that sort of made me feel better.
We stayed there for hours, but my therapist was coming over soon, she needs to make me better soon. I got out of my bed and looked at my hair in the full body mirror next to my bed, it looked fine. My blonde hair was up in a bun I don`t remember putting in, with my bangs hanging done. I grabbed the necklace off of the floor and went and put it back on, I loved that necklace. I went outside to wait for the therapist, and on my way out I grabbed the chalk. I sat down in my huge parking lot at the most ever had two cars in it, but could fit ten, ha ha. I sat in pretzel style and put the chalk down in front of me I decided to keep my left leg how it was and extend my right leg, much more comfortable.
I leaned forward, my necklace dangling, and thought of what I should draw. I knew just what to write when it began to go faster, beat harder. It felt like it was going to burst out. It was my heart, I began drawing hearts. Jordan was what made me do this. A boy I have gone to school with since kindergarten and that has affected me like this since second grade. So did Anna, until she broke my heart. I actually had a big descion between the two, they both asked me out, and I liked them both. I`m bi-sexual. I choose the bad descion, Anna.
I barley ever get to see Jordan, because I`m cyber-schooled now, it`s too hard for most MPD victims to go to school. I tried, let me tell you. I got so made fun of and the teachers couldn`t handle me. I hated it, came home crying everyday actually. The only time I see him is on his daily runs. He loves running, and does it everday. I watch him everday, I get so upset when I miss his runs. Sometimes if I`m outside when he runs he will talk to me, but I think he is afraid to. It crushed me.
“I miss you, Hannah,” he said with a shaky voice, shy to talk to me. I jumped when he first said it because I didn`t know he was behind me. “Sorry, didn`t mean to scare you.”
“It`s okay, and I miss you too, a lot, more then you could ever understand,” I told him sighing. I was glad he missed me, because I miss him a lot too, but it probably wasn’t even truthful and will hurt me. Him talking to me now makes me think he will talk to me later on and he will probably just let me down.
He sat down next to me, really, really close. “Remember, you chose Anna over me, so I believe I could understand missing someone a lot, because I miss you a lot,” He said, making me want to punch him.
I already felt like shit for picking Anna, he doesn’t need to make it worse, and that has nothing to do with missing. “If you miss me so much, quite easy to come see me,” I told him with attitude.
“Well, you picked her so I thought you didn`t want any part of me,”
“Of course that`s not the case or else it wouldn`t be so hard to choose,” I told him, trying not to get upset, because he seemed hurt which hurt me.
He hugged me and we hugged for hours until my therapist came.
I have had this for two years. I take medicine, that I don`t remember taking, and it makes me come back to myself, and I go to a therapist, it apparently helps. My mom is constantly telling me that it is probably because of Anna, and to try to remember what she did to me. I don`t want to remember, I can`t remember. She thinks it will help, but I know it won`t. She broke my heart, simple as that.
My dad, Anna, and waking up like this all puts me through hell, literal and none literal. I could cry for hours and hours and hours and feel like total and otter shit, or I could imagine being in hell. Hell is quite a better place then thinking about those things. I imagine being on fire, my body burning like hell, screaming, not being able to escape, watching as the finial ashes of others blow away, they are totally gone. Yes, I know I sound crazy, but it`s better than thinking about those things. That`s how bad they make me feel.
“Mom,” I cried out.
“Baby? Are you okay?” She asked me rushing into my room, concerned. I could see that her heart broke as soon as she saw all of those tears coming from my big blue eyes.
“I don`t even remember putting these clothes on,” I said grabbing the shoulders of my v-shirt and shaking it. I was wearing that along with plaid shorts that went to my knees, they were pink and grey. I grabbed the pink beaded necklace off of my neck and threw it across the room, I hated wearing something I didn`t remember putting on. My mom came under my covers and cuddled up against me and held me, she knew that sort of made me feel better.
We stayed there for hours, but my therapist was coming over soon, she needs to make me better soon. I got out of my bed and looked at my hair in the full body mirror next to my bed, it looked fine. My blonde hair was up in a bun I don`t remember putting in, with my bangs hanging done. I grabbed the necklace off of the floor and went and put it back on, I loved that necklace. I went outside to wait for the therapist, and on my way out I grabbed the chalk. I sat down in my huge parking lot at the most ever had two cars in it, but could fit ten, ha ha. I sat in pretzel style and put the chalk down in front of me I decided to keep my left leg how it was and extend my right leg, much more comfortable.
I leaned forward, my necklace dangling, and thought of what I should draw. I knew just what to write when it began to go faster, beat harder. It felt like it was going to burst out. It was my heart, I began drawing hearts. Jordan was what made me do this. A boy I have gone to school with since kindergarten and that has affected me like this since second grade. So did Anna, until she broke my heart. I actually had a big descion between the two, they both asked me out, and I liked them both. I`m bi-sexual. I choose the bad descion, Anna.
I barley ever get to see Jordan, because I`m cyber-schooled now, it`s too hard for most MPD victims to go to school. I tried, let me tell you. I got so made fun of and the teachers couldn`t handle me. I hated it, came home crying everyday actually. The only time I see him is on his daily runs. He loves running, and does it everday. I watch him everday, I get so upset when I miss his runs. Sometimes if I`m outside when he runs he will talk to me, but I think he is afraid to. It crushed me.
“I miss you, Hannah,” he said with a shaky voice, shy to talk to me. I jumped when he first said it because I didn`t know he was behind me. “Sorry, didn`t mean to scare you.”
“It`s okay, and I miss you too, a lot, more then you could ever understand,” I told him sighing. I was glad he missed me, because I miss him a lot too, but it probably wasn’t even truthful and will hurt me. Him talking to me now makes me think he will talk to me later on and he will probably just let me down.
He sat down next to me, really, really close. “Remember, you chose Anna over me, so I believe I could understand missing someone a lot, because I miss you a lot,” He said, making me want to punch him.
I already felt like shit for picking Anna, he doesn’t need to make it worse, and that has nothing to do with missing. “If you miss me so much, quite easy to come see me,” I told him with attitude.
“Well, you picked her so I thought you didn`t want any part of me,”
“Of course that`s not the case or else it wouldn`t be so hard to choose,” I told him, trying not to get upset, because he seemed hurt which hurt me.
He hugged me and we hugged for hours until my therapist came.