Raining Droplets.

A loud sigh left my lips as I stared down at the piece of lined paper that was beneath my fingertips. Honestly it has always stumped me that every time I got a letter or postcard from my parents, I never knew what to write back. I had so much to write about but at the same time I didn’t.

What would they want to hear from me? Do they only want the major things that has happened or everything, including the whole Kellen situation? Did they even know about that yet? Did they want to know just how I was going or everyone?

It was always hard to figure out because when they write to me it was the basic ‘how have you been – what have you been doing’ questions at the end while the rest of the letter was almost like a diary entry. I could never say they weren’t interesting because then I would be lying. I reread over the letters a lot when I don’t have anything much else to do.

I just wish writing back to them was as easy as reading what they wrote. I don’t even know where to start.

Rolling my eyes, I sighed again before looking at their letter reading the first paragraph hoping to get an idea for what to write on mine. I wanted to ask someone, see what they think, but Kellen was in the kitchen and Brayden was watching something on TV that he was gushing about for almost an hour before it started. I don’t want to bother him if he was really that into watching it.

It was a good thing I only got the letter today so it wasn’t like I had to write back right away, I had a bit of time. Maybe I should write it like a diary letter like they do; would they be interested in something like that?

Shaking my head I picked up the letter, folding it back up and tucking it into the envelope before placing it on the coffee table. I dumped the notebook and pen next to it before leaning back in the chair and closing my eyes. Why did calling them have to cost so much?

Hearing light footsteps enter the room, I opened my eyes and tilted my head to the side watching Kellen walk into the room slowly, almost trembling slightly. I looked at him worried, but stayed silent as he sat gently down beside me on the couch releasing a long breath as he did.

“Are yo-“
“I don’t feel well.” He whispered curling in on himself slightly.

He turned his head and looked up at me with the most scared and pleading eyes I had ever seen, not including the time at the hospital after his first seizure. Not even Brayden can pull off eyes as pleading as that, which is really saying something. My heart clinched in my chest and for a second it felt like I couldn’t breathe.

How can one look be so painful?

“In what way?” I asked unsure.

He groaned lightly and looked away from me towards a random part of the room. Running a shaking hand though his hair, he took in a deep breath. He wasn’t going to have another fit was he? Though he hasn’t had one for over three weeks...

For a moment I didn’t think he was going to answer when he shook his head, but he moved his gaze down to his lap.

“I feel...really off and a little dizzy. I don’t know...just weird.”
“Did it just start now or?”
“M-maybe twenty minutes ago.” He muttered but I didn’t miss the stutter. “I dunno if- or what it is, like, I don’t think it’s a fit exactly...I-I have no idea.”

I bit down on my lip harshly and glanced over at Brayden where he was sitting on the arm chair over the other side of the couch. He looked back at me eyes wide with worry. I’m pretty sure my eyes mirrored his. I could feel the worry bubble into my stomach almost sickly.

“Just sit there for a while ok? Don’t go getting up and try to relax.” I said softly looking back at my uncle placing my hand on his. “If you feel the slightest change, even if it’s what you’re feeling is going away, please tell me.”

He nodded softly without looking up from his lap. Under my hand I could feel his trembling, his skin cold and slightly clammy. I ran my finger tips over his skin before pulling my hand away and scooting closer to him.

I looked up at Brayden again and saw him reaching out for his phone that sat on the coffee table. He placed that on the arm of the chair before standing and moving the sharp cornered table out of harm’s way. When seizures are involved anything becomes dangerous – like that butter knife a month and a half ago.

My teeth clamped down harder on my lip at the thought and suddenly a metallic taste hit my tongue. I hissed but let my lip go and ran my tongue over the fresh cut on the inside of my mouth. Kellen glanced up at me and I smiled softly hiding it. Kellen smiled back and I know it was forced but didn’t say anything.

He lent back into the couch trying to relax. I turned to the TV but kept watching him from the corner of my eye. He was still shaking with the odd shudder but nothing that I could see change. He had his eyes closed so I couldn’t tell that way, which was actually the best way.

About twenty minutes went past silently and the stress that floated off me and Brayden was almost thick enough to choke on or at least cut from the air. Every now and then Kellen would tap my thigh to show he was alright without saying something...at least that’s what I hope it means. He was still shivering and I could see his skin shine from the light of the TV from the sweat.

A hand waving caught my attention; I turned my head looking at Brayden and raised an eyebrow. He gestured at Kellen and mouthed ‘is he ok?’ I sent him back a look that clearly showed I had no idea and was scared. Honestly I was scared out of my mind and my heart clenching in my ribcage proved it.

Suddenly Kellen gasped loudly eyes snapping open.

“C-chance!”
“What’s wrong?” I asked quickly turning around on the couch to be fully facing him.
“I-it’s...” He panted.

He stomped one foot on the ground and in that same second Brayden was standing and rushing over to us.

“Oh fuck!” Kellen shrieked, foot slamming on the ground again while his arm jerked up into the air.

Not again. No, not again.

My eyes widened and I felt my heart stop for a second as I realised that he was having another seizure.

Almost automatically I reached out for his arm that was closets to me, but he’s body jerked making a choked off moan rip from his throat and arm almost hit me. I dodged his arm and quickly grabbed his wrist holding it down against the couch. Brayden grabbed his other arm and held it down struggling.

Kellen groaned almost painfully as more tremors twisted his body. I could just hear his feet stomping on the floor over the blood rushing in my ears. Brayden was talking or maybe even yelling, I could hear him but I couldn’t understand him. Suddenly Kellen’s back arched impossibly off the couch and I lost grip on his arm.

I spun around on the couch so I was on my knees right beside him and gripped his arm, wrestling against his shuddering muscles to hold him down again. With his muscles clenching and unclenching, one accidental move and one of us can be seriously hurt. Kellen was strong and like this he was moving around full strength.

It was impossible to control him; even he had no control over his own body.

Kellen screamed bloody murder as his back arched again but also making his body twist towards me, ripping his arm from Brayden’s grip. Out the corner of my eye I saw Brayden fall to the ground as he got kicked in the hip.

“Hun, are you alright?” I gasped.
“Shit, I- Yeah I’m fine. Ouch.”

Kellen reached out and grabbed a handful of my shirt. For a second our eyes locked and what I saw truly made my heart stop. He was completely and totally fucking terrified.

“Kellen, listen to me.” I said letting go of his arm to grip his shoulders to stop him from toppling over. “You’re going to fine, alright? It’s going to pass and you’ll be fine.”

If I said that last part from him or myself I have no idea. How I managed to say all that without my voice cracking I have no fucking clue.

It felt like I was watching this from a complete different angle and not even from my own eyes. Everything was a blur of movement that was so sharp it scared. I could see everything but nothing made sense. I could hear so many noises but it just went in one ear and out the other without making sense.

This whole thing didn’t make sense.

Why Kellen had to suffer from this made no fucking sense.

Another loud ear splitting frustrated scream filled the room knocking me out of whatever the hell I was in. Kellen was almost half of the couch and the tremors were not getting any better.

“Chance, we need to get him on the ground!’ Brayden exclaimed. “He’s going to fucking brake his back otherwise!”

I pulled away from Kellen, but it was obvious that he was not going to let go of my shirt, so I grabbed him around his waist the best I could and pulled him to me, clutching him tightly. Brayden grabbed his legs; almost going kicked in the chest and head, and dragged him onto the floor. Kellen’s back arched yet again, making it hard to place him on the ground but I managed.

Brayden ran around us and snatched his phone. There was no way that we could not call an ambulance this time. A dull thud sounded out as Kellen’s head smacked off the ground. My eyes went wide and I leapt out, placing my hands under his head between his skull and the floor boards.

Really I should have been sitting above him with my knees where my hands are, but there is no way Kellen was going to let go of my shirt. The only way he was going to let go before the seizure ended if the shirt gets ripped. I don’t give a flying fuck if it does, but it’s obvious that it wasn’t going to yet.

“It will be over soon.” I nodded voice thick. “You’re going to be fine.”

I don’t know why that feels like such a lie.

“They are on their way.” Brayden said followed by a thud on the ground with I can only guess was his phone. “I’m going to flag them down at the front, alright?”

I nodded and looked up at him, to see his back as he raced for the door.

I screamed as Kellen’s head slammed down squishing my fingers against the floor. I bit my lip so I wouldn’t make another noise as his head did again with his eyes rolling back, but hissed when I felt that cut in my mouth being split open even more.

Kellen groaned lightly, body all tensed to the point that he was stiff as a board, but not flailing around anymore. His eyes slowly rolled back to normal but that were not focused at all. His normal bright eyes were dull and almost dead looking. I couldn’t stand to stare at them...but I couldn’t get myself to look away.

In the background I noticed the sound of sirens but ignored them. Kellen made another half choked off moan and his body all but collapsed against the floor. He was still shaking and his grip tight on my shirt...but I knew that finally the worst was over.

I all but froze where I was until I heard the front door being open and footsteps racing in. Making sure he wasn’t going to smash his head on the ground again, I moved my hands from behind his head and sat back slightly.

We were suddenly surrounded by people and everything was dizzy and distant again. I could vaguely tell that Kellen had loosened his grip on my shirt and that his eyes had slowly drifted shut. The paramedics were asking questions I’ve heard many times before and the answers came out automatically.

I felt arms being wrapped around my waist and my body being pulled up into a standing position making Kellen’s hand fall from his hold. My legs felt like jelly making it hard to stand.

It felt like hours though it was probably only minutes before Kellen was being lifted onto the stretcher and taken carefully out of the house. The arms around my waist tightened. It wasn’t until then that I noticed that I was practically gasping for air and my eyes were that watery I couldn’t see anything.

“Are you alright?” Brayden whispered his voice cracking.

And that’s when I broke out into a fit of sobs collapsing into his arms on the lounge room floor.