Raining Droplets.

The sound of my shoes squeaking against the tiled flooring of the waiting room was the only thing I could hear other than the wild thumping of my heart in my ears. My breathing was coming out in short bursts as my head spun with so many emotions that it felt I would explode or lead me into have some sort of major panic attack.

Every time that Uncle Kellen had another seizure, I felt like my emotions were becoming more crazier and uncontrollable. It was so hard to keep thinking straight with the memories of what happened flicking in front of my eyes. It was harder each time to keep acting strong and try to be the one holding it all together under the huge amount of stress.

I had to be the one there for my uncle because we are all we have family wise, but it is so hard. I wanted to break down, scream, yell, even maybe smash something to pieces, but I couldn’t. I had to be the strong one. I had to be the one that was holding everything together and not cracking under the pressure.

Shaking my head sharply, I lifted my hands up tangling my fingers into my hair and pulled until I could feel a dull pain. I sucked in deep breaths and stopped walking coming to a stop in the middle of the room. I let my unfocused gaze lock onto the far wall and completely blocked out all feelings, thoughts and memories.

It was always the most stressful when he had just had a fit and was in hospital. When, for some reason, he wasn’t here it was easier to manage. I guess that might be because I loathe this place. I hate being here but I don’t really have a choice and not come here so often. It was almost becoming a second fucking home to us.

The sudden feeling of arms snaking their way around my waist with no warning made me shout and shove the person away in fright. Spinning around I came face to face with my beautiful Brayden.

My heart made a hard thump when I realised that is was him that I had pushed away. I looked at him shocked and opened my mouth to say something but nothing really came out.

“I sorry for scaring you hun.” He frowned lightly. “I thought you heard me come in.” He said softly.

Closing my mouth I blinked a couple of times. Normally I always noticed his presence before I even saw him walking into a room. I guess I blocked the world out a little too much for a few minutes.

Brayden showed me one of his soft lovely smiles and took a step towards me. Slowly he reached up and ran his fingers through my hair, which I guess I messed up badly when I was pulling on it before. Without moving away I let him trail his fingers down the side of my face, neck, chest until they came to a stop at my waist. I had to hold myself back from shivering.

He smiled softly again and took another step forward sliding his arms around me. I lifted my arms up holding him back before pulling him flush against my body so I could hold him tighter like if I was to break I couldn’t because he was holding me.

“I thought that something happened when you didn’t saying anything on MSN when it said you were ‘away’” He whispered placing his head gently on my shoulder.
“I’m sorry-“
“Don’t be, you’re uncle is more important than leaving me hanging on an internet chat hun.”

He turned his head slightly on my shoulder and kissed it before moving it back to where it was before.

“How long have you been here?” He whispered softly.

I moved one arm to get my phone from my pocket that should actually probably be off right now. I pressed a random button for the screen to come alive and sighed seeing the time.

“Around two hours.” I said quietly. “It’s a weekend, their always slow on weekends for some reason.”
“Probably all called in sick to get the time off.” Brayden mused. “Then again half of the doctors here are lazy or useless...”

I nodded and rested my head on top of his. I slowly let my eyes shut. I wanted nothing more than to go to sleep right now, but there was no way in hell I was going asleep here. Also I had to see one of the nurses before I leave or even my uncle himself. Hopefully he was allowed to be let out tonight.

To be honest it didn’t really make a difference if he stayed in over night or not. He never has another fit twenty four hours after having one and that’s only how long they keep him in for nowadays. So really it was pointless unless he had a massive seizure, then naturally he would be staying in.

Silence filled the waiting room again, but this time it was more liveable with Brayden here. It was like his presents just chased away the emptiness feeling of this place.

He has always been my calmer, my safety net and my rock. He was just like the person I was trying to be for my uncle in times like this. Other then my uncle Kellen who is pretty much my dad; he is the most important person in my life. He’s been my best friend since we were kids and been my boyfriend for around a year and a half now.

Brayden always made me feel like that I could keep being the strong one, that I could keep going and believe that one day everything would be better, if he knew that he did that to me or not I’m not really sure.

The sound of the old door hinges creaking open made me open my eyes to see Carol – one of the nurses that worked here. She was usually the one that looked after Kellen when he was here. I could almost consider her a family friend by now, that’s how often we come to this horrible place. How she could ever manage to work here confuses me.

“Hello Chance.” She smiled softly stepping into the room. “And Brayden.”
“Hi!” Brayden chirped.
“Hello.” I said softly.

Carol walked over to us and neither of us bothers to more from how we were wrapped around each other. It never bothers her seeing us like this, she always comments saying it’s ‘cute’ or ‘that it is nice to see two people in love’ which always made me smile, even in the worst of times.

“How is he?” I asked moving my face from Brayden’s hair.
“He’s fine now but very exhausted. I was going to discharge him, but he fell asleep. I think its best just to let him sleep it off and not move him.”
“Ok.” I nodded sighing. “Yeah, it’s better leaving him here.” I added remembering last time we woke him up to take him home.
“If you’d like you can quickly go and see him, visiting hours finish in fifteen minutes.”
“Thanks.”

I slowly pulled away from Brayden after kissing his cheek softly, almost like a thank you for the hug. Carol turned and walked out the room. Taking Brayden’s hand in mine I followed her out of the small cramped room. As we got half way down the corridor Carol turned into the nurse’s office as we walked into the large room opposite.

I spotted my uncle on the far right bed in the back corner. Squeezing Brayden’s hand tightly I headed slowly over there, almost if I was afraid he would start fitting again even though I know he won’t for a while.

Once you see a love one in that sort of satiation it was hard to get it out of your head, it made it even worse what you and the doctors still didn’t know completely what was going on. Even after all the tests Kellen has had, all they have figured out is that he is epileptic; but not what type or what the cause is. They have him on medication but it’s obvious that it isn’t working and they won’t change him onto a new one yet. Which is completely fucking stupid.

Stopping by the end of the bed, I lifted my eyes off the ground and took in my uncles’ figure as Brayden held my hand in both of his. Kellen’s body was draped over with a soft purple blanket that almost matched the bags under his eyes, his hair was a mess, he looked too pale and even skinny lying there – though I thing his weight and skin just looked like that because of where he was.

I frowned a little and let Brayden pull me to the side of the bed so I could lean down and kiss his forehead. His eyes fluttered a little, but other than that he didn’t move.

At least he was better...until it happens again.

Sighing softly I turned and looked back at Brayden. He looked at me with sad, worried but loving eyes and pulled me into another hug. It took everything I had right now not to cry into his shoulder. I wanted to but not next to the bed Kellen was laying in.

“Did you drive here?” I asked Brayden quietly.
“Yeah. Do you want to go now or stay longer?”
“He’s sleeping so he’ll be fine here now.” I whispered. “I-I want to go home.”

Brayden nodded and pulled away. Taking my hand he led me out of the room and down the corridor towards the front doors of the hospital while rubbing his thumb gently over my skin in a calming way.

Just him being next to me almost calmed me down every time.