Windows of the Soul

I didn’t know whether to lunge at Bel or Jace first. I chose Bel.

Not caring about what I looked like, I grabbed her by the hair and ripped her towards me. The only image in my head involved her and Drew stuck in a closet, and now Jace? This bitch was going down. Bel screamed shrilly, digging her long fingernails into my wrist. I yelped and slapped her across the face with all my might. To my satisfaction, a red handprint blossomed on the side of her face. Before I could get in another hit, arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me from Bel. I noticed Drew doing the same thing to Bel. The arms were familiar---I’d once loved the feeling of them touching me. Now I just wanted it gone.

“Let go of me!” I screamed. The arms were too strong, even with my kicking, so I resorted to elbowing Jace in the stomach. That loosened his arms a little, and from there I kicked my heels off and ran, leaving them at Jace’s feet. Through my tears I saw fellow classmates, parting as I ran through the throng. They were probably thinking, poor Ali. Ali always gets cheated on. I didn’t want their sympathy. I wanted revenge, after I drown in my sorrow, that is.

After escaping into the cool air, I couldn’t stay. Penny appeared at my side with car keys. I had no idea who’s keys they were (after all, we came in a limo) but Penny didn’t seem worried as she grabbed me by the wrist and dashed towards an unknown car. I stumbled along, blisters hurting on the concrete in bare feet. They were going to need some serious work.

“Ali!” A voice yelled. I didn’t even turn around; it was Jace. I could hear him fast approaching as Penny and I made it to the car. It was a typical blue Honda, but I didn’t recognize it. Penny opened my door and shoved me inside before dashing around to the driver’s side. By then Jace was standing in front of the car. The car was backed in, so we couldn’t go anywhere unless he moved. Penny locked the doors and turned the car on, but I wasn’t paying attention. I stared at Jace as he stared at me. His fists were clenched, his tie was askew, and his hair was a mangled mess. I noticed tears forming in his eyes, but I convinced myself that my eyes were playing tricks on me. The bastard wasn’t getting any sympathy out of me.

“Ali, please, wait.” Jace pleaded, still staring at me. Penny revved the engine. With my eyes still on Jace, I slowly lowered the window. I stuck my head out, making sure he saw the tears he was causing me, and said one word: “move.”

“Ali, she came on to me!” Jace said, moving towards the open window. I quickly stuck my head back in and rolled the window all the way up before he could reach me. Penny screeched out of the parking space at the opening, nearly running Jace over. He beat his fists on the side of the car, where I was sitting, and when I glanced back his hands were in his hair and he was leaning over. I turned back around and let the tears spill freely.



Penny drove me home, but she had to go back to Homecoming to get Ryan and return the car. About two hours later, she was back in my bedroom. It felt like déjà vu to me.

“Did the-boy-who-shall-not-be-named call you yet?” Penny asked, popping a piece of popcorn into her mouth. How she could eat at a time like this was beyond me.

“18 calls, 42 text messages, and he was at the house three separate times since you left.” I said quietly.

“The boy won’t give up,” Penny murmured. I rolled over onto my stomach so my face was engulfed by the pillow. If only I could remain that way. I had changed out of my dress into sweats and a baggy t-shirt. The dress hung limply on the closet door; I didn’t even want to look at it. I had quickly removed the makeup from my face, so I was completely bare, and my hair hung in strange curls down my back. I’ve barely been de-prettified and my face was already puffy from crying. If it was even possible, this breakup hurt more than Drew’s. I thought I could really trust Jace.

“Ali?” My mom’s voice floated up to the room. I could hear the exasperation in her voice, since this was the 19th time she answered the phone.

“Tell him I’m not home!” I shouted down. I heard my mother say something to Jace, and then the button click as she hung up.

Footsteps sounded outside my room as my mother came up the steps. She knocked on my door, so I faced reality as I got up and opened the door. Worry lines creased her face as she entered the room. “Ali, honey, I don’t want this boy to call every five minutes.” She sighed. “It’s past 11, and Tessa’s already woken up several times. I need to sleep because I have a big catering event tomorrow.” She pat my hair as she looked at me. “Can’t you face him?’

“No.” I said. “Never.”

“Well, you’re gonna need to.” My mom said. “I’ll give you a couple of minutes, but you need to face him. Or you’re grounded.” I was still debating whether or not being grounded was a good or bad thing when Penny said, “he’s here again.” I moaned and buried my face into my pillow again.

“Maybe…maybe you should go see him,” Penny said quietly. My head whipped up, astonished that that came from my best friend’s mouth. “Who’s side are you on?”

“Yours, of course!” Penny said defensively. “It’s just…maybe he’s telling the truth.”

“I don’t want to feel any sympathy for that lying cheating asshole,” I said, although I didn’t have the punch I had a minute ago. A part of me didn’t really mean all the names I was calling him. He made me feel complete, ya know?

No, I told myself sternly. You will NOT feel that way about him ever again.

“Fine,” I said, standing. “I’ll face him. And he’ll still be a lying cheating asshole, who I never want to see again.” Penny held up her hands. “I just don’t want you to make a decision you’ll regret because of spur-of-the-moment feelings.” A voice in my mind asked, why didn’t she do this with Drew? but I shrugged it off. As I opened my bedroom door the doorbell rang. And rang. And rang again. Jace wouldn’t stop pushing the button. I quickly ran down the stairs before my mom could yell at me, and I took a deep breath at the front door. I can do this. I can do this.

I slowly pulled the door open to see Jace standing on my front porch. It must’ve been raining for quite some time, because Jace was literally soaked, head-to-toe, dripping wet. His eyes lit up when I opened the door. “Ali---” he started, but I interrupted.

“No, Jace. We’re done. Stop bothering me.” I went to close the door, but suddenly Jace’s foot was wedged in the crack. I tried pushing the door closed anyway, but it wouldn’t budge. “I’ll call the cops,” I warned.

Ignoring me, Jace pushed his way into the house. “I’m not giving up like Drew did,” he growled, not unkindly. “Ali, listen to me,” he forced me to look at him. “I would never cheat on you. You know that. Deep down inside somewhere, you know that.” I ignored the twinge in my gut and looked away so I wouldn’t have to stare in those beautiful eyes of his. “Ali, please. I’m begging you.”

“Jace, you need to leave,” I croaked, barely able to find my voice. I just wanted to break down and cry all over again.

“Listen to my story, at least.” He said, releasing me. “Then I’ll go, if you want me to.” I reluctantly nodded, and we stepped out onto the porch. My mom would kill me if Jace dribbled water everywhere.

“I was going to get our drinks, and I ran into someone,” Jace started. “I put my arms out to steady the person I smacked because I didn’t want whoever it was to fall. It was Bel, as you obviously know,” Jace said. “I backed away when I realized it was Bel, but before I knew what was happening she grabbed me and was kissing me. And the rest…you know,” Jace trailed off. “I would never have kissed her while I was dating you. Never.” He made me look at him again. “Ali, please, please believe me.”

I was silent for a couple beats before I said, “I don’t know whether to believe you.”

“Believe me.” Jace took his hands off my shoulder and slid his through mine. “I know you’ve been hurt before; I was there to pick up the pieces. I would never hurt you. This was all a mistake. I’ve always been there for you, and I will always be there for you.” He took a breath. “Please believe me, please Ali.” His voice cracked on the last sentence, and then suddenly, he was kissing me. The cold ice wall I put up came crashing down as I melted into his kiss. I kissed him back, even as our tears mingled together. He pulled away, and I said slowly, “I believe you.”

“Thank you,” he said emotionally, kissing me again. When he pulled away, he said, “oh, and I forgot to ask. Where did you learn to throw a slap like that?”

I laughed. “Just know that you don’t want to be on the receiving end of that.”

“Anyone could see that. You should’ve seen Bel’s face after.”

“Yeah, well she deserved it. And you do too.”

“Go ahead.” Jace faced his cheek to me, for me to slap.

“Hell no,” I said, laughing again. “I wouldn’t hit you.”

“Even if I deserve it because I’m an asshole?”

“Even if you deserve it because you’re an asshole.” I smiled. “Now kiss me again.”