Love Undefined

I sit and cry for my only true love, lost to the roaring river. I had been in the car but someone had pulled me out. I dream about the water filling my lungs. I could feel it as if it were crushing my chest. Someone grabs my arm, and I hold on for dear life. The arms embrace me and even in this horrific moment, the universe aligns. I thought this was my true love until they told me in the hospital he had never made it out of the car. This stranger, the faceless stranger, had made me feel like I have never felt before.
I had decided in the hospital never to love again. But as I sit here crying and thanking the stranger for saving my life, I begin to think, maybe I can love again. But I think about my love for Chris; I remember how I looked up to him. Only one year older than I, he was more like an older brother. I still loved him like a boyfriend, I can’t deny it.
Chris was always telling me to ‘forgive and never forget.’ Maybe it works for love as well. I feel like I’m betraying him. I told him countless times that he was the love of my life and I would never love anyone but him.
I pulled my gaze from the river and looked at my watch before grunting like an old person to my feet. Time for me to drive to another pointless therapy session. They want me to open up. Spill my guts; well they’ve got another thing coming. Yes, I speak. I talk nonstop. But one thing I don’t speak about is the accident. They can try all they want but there is no way in hell I will ever speak. I’m still mourning and they know it because I start crying whenever anyone says Chris’s name.
This is a problem because my name is Kristine and everyone calls me Kris. I put my bike down on the ground by the building and walked in. The shrink was waiting for me. As I sit and listen to her asking me questions about school, my home life, and then Chris. The moment she mentions the accident I stop talking. Just like every other day. She takes the last half hour coaxing and plain out begging me to talk. So I look at the clock and then the shrink and say, “Times up. See you next week.” And I walk out.
She can’t tell anyone I said it because she is bound by law. I was smiling to myself as I walked out the door and down the road to my bike. I was so deep in thought that I walked right into some boy. I stumble back and he catches my elbow before I fall.
“Sorry.” I mutter, “I wasn’t paying attention.” I looked up into his eyes and was knocked breathless.
“It’s okay.” He says with an easy smile on his face, “I wasn’t paying attention, either. He released my elbow and it tingled where his touch used to be. I couldn’t stop staring.
“Are you alright?” He asked.
“Yeah, I’m sorry.” I said again sounding stupid, “I don’t usually stare.” I looked up again and got lost in his brilliant blue eyes.
“It’s okay. I’m Mikal.”
“Kristine. You look familiar.”
“I go to your school. I’m new.” He said while I just stared.
“Oh, yeah. We have French, Algebra, and English together.” He nodded and I looked at the ground. “Well, I have to get going. I have chores to do at home.”
“Okay, well I’ll see you tomorrow.” I nodded and climbed on my bike. I waved and started riding away.