So Let's Cause A Scene

Lily’s wedding came, but it never actually ‘went’. I guess to say that it actually went, there would have to have been a wedding. Yes, Lily and Ryan were never married. Now, in case you haven’t guessed it yet, it was all because of Spencer.

It’s been two years since my accident, one year since I woke up, five months since Lily and Ryan were supposed to be married. And it’s been six months since Spencer and Lily started to be involved.

I couldn’t believe it when I heard. Not only was my sister—the person who I had considered by best friend—was dating the man I was in love with, the man she had told me time and time again that she hated, she had cheated on Ryan, his best friend, the man I knew she loved.

None of it made sense. It wasn’t like Lily thought she was betraying me or anything. I had told her that I was over Spencer, that I had more hatred for him than love. It took her six months to believe me, or, in other words, until the day that Spencer told her he loved her.

Don’t you just love how weird things always turn out?

Lily was happy, and I couldn’t help but be happy about that. Lily was one of those people that unless she was in love, she was depressed. It was almost as if she needed the other person to hold her up, to keep her going. Without that person, she would be nothing.

She needed anyone—it didn’t matter who. That was the sad part. She had so many different boyfriend problems while in high school for that reason. She dated so many different people and claimed that she needed the other to survive, but none of them ever felt that way for her.

That was one reason Ryan was perfect for her. He had always loved her; he knew that, she knew that, I knew that. Heck, everyone knew it. You could just tell by the way he acted around her.

I think that was one of the biggest reasons I was so depressed that Lily broke off the wedding. Sure, I was devastated about Spencer and her. However, nothing could compare with the heartache I felt when I saw Ryan. His face, his composure, was enough to break any heart. It didn’t help that I had know him so long, that he was so close to me.

It didn’t help that it was my sister—my own blood—that did it to him, that caused him such immense pain.

With all of this, I must admit that I wasn’t in the best mood. I wasn’t happy, but at the same time I wasn’t sad. Lily and Spencer—two of the people I cared about most—were happy. Ryan and I had grown closer. On the other hand, I was still alone.

Oh, just to get this out on the table and before anyone asks, Brendon and Ryan decided to experiment with their sexuality and try dating each other. Let’s just say that it didn’t work out at all, but all of the Rydon fans almost died when they found out. I actually think this one girl committed suicide when she found out they stopped dating. That’s what I would consider a devoted fan. Crazy, yes, but devoted.

So, let’s begin the actual story with a date. January seventeenth.

It was cold. My whole body was shivering and even my mind seemed to be shaking as different thoughts floated throughout. I was so tempted to rush back home and grab yet another jacket, but I was on a mission. One that I would not give up on.

My legs were freezing, too, but I knew that I shouldn’t complain about that. I could have easily worn pants and not a skirt and have been warm. However, I was at least kind of smart and paired the skirt with a pair of leg warmers. I wasn’t willing to freeze to death, not even for beauty.

I new that the "mission" I was on really wasn’t a mission, nor was it that important, but I still didn’t want to take forever to get there. Brendon had called saying that I needed to come over right away. So my mission consisted of walking in the cold over to Brendon's.

I wish he was staying closer or that Lily hadn’t take the car once more. She took it almost every night so that she could go hang out with Spencer, leaving me alone and angry. I found it almost beyond hilarious that two years ago while I was out with Spencer was, she was at home alone and angry.

I didn’t bother knocking on Brendon's door when I got there. I just walked in and found him in the kitchen, eating a bowl of ice cream. I grabbed a spoon from the drawer and dug into Brendon's ice cream.

"Hey!" he yelled, lifting his bowl of the table and bringing it close to his chest. "My ice cream."

I went into the freezer and grabbed out the rest of the ice cream. "Brendon, next to you demand me to come over, make sure you have vanilla ice cream, you know I really don’t like chocolate ice cream."

"Maybe I don’t buy any vanilla when you come because I know you'll just eat it all." Brendon stuck his tongue out at me, ice cream still inside of his mouth. I rolled my eyes and sat down at the table next to him, eating up the rest of the chocolate ice cream that I rather despised.

"So what did you need me to come over for?" I asked, a smile on my face. I really wasn’t sure why he had asked me, anything he would have said would have surprised me for one reason or other. Well, the only thing that wouldn’t have if he asked me to have sex with him, I had been expecting that day to come since the day I met him.

Sometimes he would get into these moods where he had sex with anyone and everyone. It was kind of pathetic, but I loved him anyways. Well, I loved him most of the time.

"Go to talk to Ryan, he won't talk to me and he's doing nothing but writing. I don’t even think he's eaten yet today or maybe not even yesterday. It's been five months; he needs something to help him get over this. I was thinking that maybe you would be able to help."

I nodded, the spoon sticking out of my mouth. I took it out and placed it back into the now empty carton. I made my way up to Ryan's room, my smile getting smaller and smaller by the second. By the time I reached the door to his room, I had to force a smile onto my face. I didn’t want him to see me down.Even though I knew when I saw him even my fake smile would disappear.

After I opened the door, my eyes locked with Ryan's. The look he gave me send shivers down my spine. I walked over to him. "Ryan," I whispered, my body lying down next to him on the bed. He turned his body away from mine, not looking at me. I shook his body and whispered his name into the air once more.

He slowly turned around and looked at me. Neither of us said a word. I wrapped my arms around him and just let him cry for a moment. "Michelle?" he whispered, lifting his head off my chest and looking me in the eyes once more. He whipped away his tears and then didn’t look me back in the eyes.

"What, Ryan?"

"I'm sorry, I am so sorry." Then Ryan kissed me.

He must have been drunk. Either that or he thought I was Lily. That wasn’t my biggest problem, though.

The biggest problem was that when we parted, I began to wish that we hadn’t.