What is This Feeling?

I never knew what I did to the Ass that made him hate me so. He didn't even get the chance to know me before he judged me. That makes him an Ass.

The ass and I never really got along in school or outside of it for that matter. I avoided him and he avoided me. Simple as that, but spending time together was impossible to avoid at times. I mean unless Frank or I became total misanthropes we would have to see each other. After all we were neighbors.

Now although we disagreed on many things there was one and only onething that we ever agreed on; our moms. All we want is for them to be happy so we do what we can. You see, ever since Mrs. Iero and my mom met they became inseparable. It was as if they were long lost sisters. Therefore, it was an unspoken agreement that while we were in their presence we would 'get along'. Now, I wouldn't say that we went as far as being friends; we just didn't try to kill each other.

As I said, as much as I would have loved to avoid him, seeing him was inevitable. My mom and his mom were always together. At first we had dinner together on Saturdays, then a few months later that changed to Saturday and Sunday. In about a year we had dinner with each other almost every night; Frank and I have to be there too. Alas, as most girls do, Linda and my mom would talk hours on end. So, to avoid insanity and the extinction of my patience, I came up with a brilliant plan.

Flashback

"Oh really?" Mrs. Iero mumbled. "I read that the movie didn't receive very high ratings."

"Well then, I guess the critics and I have different opinions." My mom stated, her hands flying about her face adding to her comment. "Although, at first I didn't want I didn't want to see it, but Jame convinced me." She gestured over to me before taking another sip of her coffee. "It’s a good thing I went though, the movie was fantastic! And apparently it was up to par with the book. Right Jame?" Three pairs of eyes turned towards me. I shut my book before replying,

"Yes it was. One of the very few actually. But I still prefer the book to the movie." I motioned down to the book in my hands before opening it again. I began to read as Linda commented,

"Yes well, often times the book is. There's only so much that you can fit in the movie where as in the book you can put all the detail you want." I nodded my head adamantly.

"That's true. I think that you would really like this movie Mrs. Iero. You and my mom should go to see it," I said trying to get the attention off me. I began to read once again but was interrupted.

"Oh that would be lovely!" Lovely? "Would you go with me Rae?" She asked, looking at my mom.

"I'd love to! Frank, how about you? Would you like to come? We can always make room for more," she said. I glanced up at Frank, my eyebrow raised. I can't wait to see him get out of this one. Frank began to shift uncomfortably in his seat. He did often.

"Uh- Umm… I don't think that uh…" he paused, struggling internally for an adequate reason not to go. "Well you see… I uh had plans for this weekend," he said pathetically. His eyes were looking everywhere, an obvious sign that he was lying.He is such an awful liar. Rolling my eyes I glanced down at my book. My mom and Linda began to talk once again and Frank started doing, well, I don’t know what he was doing but he started doing it again.

A few minutes I felt someone staring at me. Looking up I saw that it was Frank. I gave him a 'can I help you?' look before looking down at my book. I shook my head slightly, before sighing. I could still feel him looking at me. I groaned to myself. Tucking my legs underneath myself, I settled back into a couch which was identical to Frank's. I glanced up at the clock. 6:30 Again I sighed. This was going to be a long night.I can't stand this anymore! If he so much as looks at me again I'll kill him! For the past twenty minutes Frank had been staring at me; drilling small holes into my head. His constant staring was making it impossible to read and I knew this since I had been reading the same line for the past five minutes. Finally I had had enough. I snapped my book shut causing a loud crack to cut through the TV and the talking.

"Hey mom," I said. When all three heads turned towards me, I continued. "Would it be alright with you," I gestured towards both our moms. "If a-Frank and I go to the park for a few hours?" The ass's eyebrow rose at my slip up. I hope no one else noticed.

My mom turned to look at Linda and agreed. Relived, I stood and grabbed hold of the Ass's arm much like he did the first day that I had met him. I continued to drag him behind me until we reached the sidewalk where I dropped his arm as if it were diseased. It most likely was

"What the hell is your problem?" He asked. He began to rub his arm as if I had hurt him. I hope that I had.

"Just shut up and listen. I can't stand to be on the same street as you let alone in the same room so here's what we're going to do," I growled. "And I really don't care what you have to say about it, so don't give your opinion." Crossing my arms, I continued.
"We will walk to the park and once we reach the entrance go our separate ways. We will then meet back there in one hour. Then we will walk home together as if we spent the entire time together. Understand?" I asked. He smirked at me before mimicking my aggressive stance.

"Whatever." He rolled his eyes and began to walk away towards my house.

"Find asshole. If you go back into that house, I'll tell your mom what you were really doing last night with the guys. I'm sure she'd be devastated." I knew that I had sunk low but I can only put up with so much. The Ass stopped and faced me. A glared graced his boyish features.

"How exactly do you know what I did last night, Walters? Were you following me again?" Another smirk graced his rough lips. However I could tell that I had struck a nerve. Frank was never good at hiding his emotion; his eyes told everything.

"I don't need to follow you to know what's going on. You can't really think that you're that good at hiding your dumb shit," I scoffed. "Honestly, you act as if you have the world fooled when in reality your only fooling yourself! " I was trying my hardest not to yell considering Mrs. Iero and my mom weren't out of earshot. I began to shuffle quickly down the sidewalk not caring if he followed me.

I stopped once I reached the park's entrance surprised to find him behind me. glaring daggers and breathing heavily. The look he held in his eyes was that of complete and utter hatred. It almost scared me.

"How dare you try and tell me what to do. Don't act like you care," He practically spit the words at me. Personally, I thought that he should have been foaming at the mouth for how mad he was acting. Although, for as angry as he was I wasn't scared in the slightest. If anything I was more livid then him.

"Act like I care! What the hell gave you that idea?!" My voice had gone up an octave as I continued to rant. "I don't care one bit about you you moron! I care about your mom! Apparently you don't though! How do you think she would react if you killed yourself from some stupid decision?" My hands flew about my face; a habit that I had picked up from my mom. "You are one of the most selfish and pitiful people that I have ever met!" When I was done screaming, I stalked up to him, slapping him hard across the face. The slap echoed through my ears as his face contorted in pain and shock.

"You need to get your life together. If not for yourself for your mom. You'll kill her," My voice was calm and void of any emotion. With that I turned my back to him and began to walk towards the park leaving him standing in the middle of the sidewalk looking dumbstruck.

The day after our confrontation he agreed to my terms. From that day on, whenever our mothers would get together for dinner, the ass and I would walk to the park, go our separate ways and meet back in one hour. Where he went, who he was with, and what he did with them I never really thought about. Nor did I care anymore. If he wanted to screw up his life then that was his prerogative We have gone through this routine for the past three years and it had worked well so far. When he and I would part, I would head down to an out of the way coffee shop. There I would read whilst listening to my ipod.

Tonight was no different.

I walked down the street towards the small coffee shop and opened the door; a small bell rang announcing my presence. I walked up to the counter where Tammy, a woman in her mid fifties, stood.

"Hey James. The usual?" She asked. Her grayish brown hair was coming out of its bun and wisps were scattered around her face. Her face was etched with wrinkles from smiling which added to her charismatic aura.

"That would be great. Thanks Tam," I said. I placed my money on the counter and began to relax.

As I waited for my order I scanned the place, its golden and burgundy walls created a homey affect with its large windows, soft couches and tables. The place was a sanctuary for me.

Tammy told me to have a seat and that she would bring me my order. Soft jazz was playing in the background as I took my regular spot; a small burgundy love seat with a table and barstool set. The low lights overhead gave a slight glow to the area below. I sighed as I sat down on the couch and closed my eyes.

"Here hon," Tammy's voice startled me causing me to jump in surprise.

"Oh thanks," I said. Gratefully I took a sip of my Chai Tea and looked over to my left to see that Tammy had sat herself down. She looked concerned. "What's wrong, Tams?" I asked.

"You just seem a little stressed and school hasn't even started yet. Are you alright?" She asked.

"Yea I'm fine. Just tired is all," I answered. I took another sip of my Chai Tea before flashing her a reassuring smile.

"Well if you're sure," she said skeptically.

"Yes I am. Don’t worry I'm fine," I smiled wearily at her. A ringing at the door caused both Tammy and me to jump. Quickly she stood and gave me a side hug while going to take the next customers order.

I settled into my seat tucked my legs beneath me and started to rummage through my bag in search of my ipod. Once I found it I placed the buds in my ears and began to listen to some of Taking Back Sunday. My thoughts traveled to my best friend Siena who had had the biggest obsession with TBS's lead singer. So, seeing as I spent a lot of time with her I became hooked on their music. Sadly, Siena moved to North Carolina about two years ago, but that didn't ruin our friendship. If anything it made it stronger. I really wished that I could see her again. Thankfully though I would be going down to North Carolina for a four day weekend soon. It would take place during my school's high school retreat so I wouldn't be missing much.

Your lipstick, his collar. Don't bother Angel I know exactly what goes on

I began to nod my head with the beat as I took out 'Twilight' and began to read. Occasionally I would sip at my tea but I couldn't shake the feeling that I was being watched. Soon I was completely absorbed in my book. That happens a lot. I was so absorbed that I hadn't realized how late it was. By the time I looked at the clock it read 8:24. That left me six minuets to get back to the park. Quickly I gathered my things, said a short goodbye to Tammy, and ran out the door.