What is This Feeling?

I turned and began walking. Frank followed. A silence enveloped us, though to me it wasn't awkward. I didn't really take his presence there into account. I was too wrapped up in the scenery around me. All the different shades of gold, brown and red made autumn beautiful to me. ]

My brown sandals shuffled against the cracked and worn pavement, kicking up loose stones. A small smile hung from my mouth as my thoughts drifted and I became lost in my own little world. A world where Julian didn't exist. A world where the only stress that I had was a paper due or a test that I hadn't studied for. I really envied most people anymore. They were carefree, well as carefree as any teen can be. None of them worried about being kidnapped and or killed. Really, a soon to be sixteen year old should not have to worry about that kind of thing. They should be worrying about the latest fashion, or whether or not a said someone had a crush on them. This really wasn't fair.

"Life isn't fair Jamie," I mumbled to myself.

"What?" Frank asked. I jumped, suddenly remembering his presence there.

"Oh. Um," I started, momentarily debating on whether not I should divulge my thoughts. "It's nothing." I smiled and shook my head. His eyes held slight disbelief and confusion but he said nothing. We continued to walk along the beaten up path in silence. The only sounds were of the occasional cars and passersby on the street and sidewalk.

Ten minutes later, our houses came into view and once again, he walked me to my door. Swiftly I pulled my keys out of my bag and unlocked the door. As I began to step into my house, I paused.

"Frank?" I asked while turning my body towards him. He looked up at me and I continued. "Why did you walk me home?"

There was an awkward pause as I stood in my doorway gazing at Frank's figure. He glanced up at me and shrugged.

"It just made sense," he said casually. I nodded acting as if I understood; when in reality I was even more confused.

"Well," I paused searching for the right words. "Thank you." He nodded at me and stood there uncertainly.

This is extremely awkward…

"Umm…I'm gonna go," I said uneasily. Frank just nodded and turned his back to me. I let out a sigh of relief as he walked down the beaten up path and jumped the fence separating our houses. Pushing open the door, I was greeted by Holly jumping on me. I laughed, picking her up and walking towards the kitchen. I began to make dinner for Holly and myself. My mom was away on another business trip and wouldn't be back until next weekend. I stood staring at the broiling steak, looking as if I was enthralled by the way it was cooked. However, my thoughts were still at school.

"If just made sense," I mumbled Frank's words to myself. "What does that mean Hol?" I asked looking down at my white ball of fluff. She wagged her long tail and yelped. I sighed letting my head fall onto the kitchen counter.

"Why is life so confusing?"

Later the next day, I slid into the empty seat next to Leanne. Placing my books on the table and bag on the ground, I let out a small sigh. Yesterday's events had left me extremely confused. Why was Frank taking a sudden interest in me? I hadn't done anything to encourage him. Had I? Maybe it had been the fact that I had smiled at him once about a week ago. But technically I wasn't smiling at him, more like smiling because of what he had done to our prick of a science teacher during class. I had been taking a make up test in the back of the classroom when Frank suddenly stood and stormed out of the classroom. Before he could leave though, the teacher had said something to him. Frank simply stopped, gave him the finger and pushed around him. As he passed me, I had given him a slight smile, although, now that I think about it, it was a smirk. He had returned the smirk and winked at me before walking out the door and into the hallway.

Obviously, that little stunt, as the science teacher thought to put it, landed him a week's worth of detention.

That had been the extent of our communication for the past month. So why did he want to walk me home now?

Better yet, why did he even want to walk me home in the first place?

What the hell?

"Jamie!"

My head snapped towards Leanne, cracking in the process making her wince.

"Oh I'm sorry Lea," I sighed, "I was off in my own little world."

"Apparently," she mumbled. "But like I was saying, are you okay? You seem a little preoccupied." I shrugged, pulling at my long dark purple sleeves and sighed again.

"C'mon Jame," Lea urged, "Something is up."

Avoiding her gaze, I occupied myself with adjusting my light grey vest and messing with its buttons. However, Lea would have none of it.

"Jamie," she said making me look at her, "You tell me what is bothering you this instant or else I'll cause a scene."

I glared at her, knowing full well that she would do such a thing. She smirked knowing that I'd cave and so, I did. Quietly, I relayed yesterday's events to her making her gasp and her eyes go wide.

"It just made sense," she repeated Frank's words. "It just made sense? That makes no sense at all!" She said exasperatedly. Sighing I nodded before pinching the bridge of my nose. Why are boys are so confusing?

A silence came between Lea and I as we were both absorbed in our own thoughts. Leaning on my desk, I observed the many juniors and few seniors in the room. Most were chatting happily while some were scrambling to finish last night's assignment. A few students sat conversing with the math teacher, Ms. Castor.

She was probably the only teacher here that wasn't close to a midlife crisis. Actually, she'd graduated from college on two years prior and this was her second year teaching here. Why she chose this dump of a school is beyond me. I know I'd never want to deal with these kids. But the fact that she could relate to the kids wasn't the only reason that I enjoyed her class so much. Unlike most of the teachers here, she wasn't one to put up with things. She had control over the class. She treated us like humans and not like cattle so in turn she was respected and well liked.

Suddenly the bell rang making me jump in my seat. Ms. Castor rose gracefully from her seat and dusted off her black blouse and pencil skirt. She readjusted her bangs so that they didn't obstruct her vision and smoothed out her low ponytail of thick ebony hair that blended into her blouse. A few late stragglers rushed in and hurried to their seats as she walked towards the front of the classroom. Slowly the room fell silent as she smiled at everyone.

"Hand your assignment from last night to the person in front of you and turn to page seventy-six," she said softly.

Quickly, the rustling of papers and turning of pages could be heard. Reaching behind me I took the paper from a lanky looking boy and placed his papers on top of my own before handing it to the slightly chubby boy in front of me. Leanne mimicked my actions. As she collected the papers, Ms. Castor began speaking.

"You all learned Quadratic Functions from last year, I presume." She said. Murmurs of agreement rang throughout the room and she smiled. "Does everyone understand them?" She asked while walking towards her desk. Once again murmurs were heard throughout the room.

"Good-" she began to say but was cut off as a very disgruntled Frank stumbled into the room.

"Ah Frank," she smiled, "How good of you to join us. Please take a seat."

Embarrassed, Frank walked swiftly to his seat and sat down. I looked away from him as Ms. Castor continued speaking.

"As I was saying, if you all understand Quadratic Functions then I see no point in re teaching it to you." She smiled at everyone before she spoken again, "Do problems ten through nineteen. It's due tomorrow."

With that, she sat down at her desk and began grading papers from last night. Smiling I began to work. Soon I had finished and glanced at the clock to see I still had twenty minutes until my next class. Sifting through my bag, I pulled out Twilight and picked up where I had left off. I was so enthralled in my book that I didn't notice Lea slide a note in my direction. It wasn't until she kicked me under the table that I looked up at her.

"What?" I whispered while glancing up at Ms. Castor.

Lea gestured down at the table with her eyes and I followed her gaze. Her notebook had been opened and was turned to a blank page except for her small handwriting scrawled neatly across the first few lines. Squinting I attempted to read what was put.

He keeps looking at you.

My eyebrows knitted together as I pulled out my pen and scribbled my response.

Who?

She rolled her eyes before scribbling something down and shoving the notebook at me.

Frank

I rolled my eyes and scoffed, turning to face Frank who was indeed, looking in my direction. When he saw me looking, he turned away and busied himself with his work. Confused, I turned back to my book and blatantly ignored Lea who had a smug look on her face. I continued to read until the end of class, occasionally feeling Frank's gaze on my form.

~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~

I sat later that day, half asleep in history willing the clock on the wall to go faster. Mr. Mason droned on for the past half hour about Birkeuna, a death camp that was part of Auschwitz, something that I had already known. Lazily, I scribbled down a few extra facts to my notes trying to distract myself from the anxiousness to leave. Finally, when there was less than ten minutes left in the class, Mr. Mason began to speak about something that caught my interest.

"As you all know I don't give out tests or quizzes, as I find them pointless and redundant."

I mentally scoffed. "'Pointless and redundant' my ass, you're just too lazy to grade them," I thought.

"So, in order for me to see how witless you are and put it on paper I've given you an assignment," he said indolently. I rolled my eyes as he threw a stack of books onto his desk. That only gave me another reason to dislike this man. Not only was he a complete ass but he mistreated books. Just a pet peeve of mine that he constantly abused although, it made me cringe nonetheless.

"You have until November first to read this," he said while holding up a small blue and white paperback book. I squinted trying to see what the book was but it was too far away.

"I want a five page report on a reoccurring theme throughout the book, a poster displaying the theme and a ten minute presentation. You may have partners, I don't care who you choose but you both must do adequate work. I will have no slackers in this project." He eyed everyone in the classroom and settled on a few students who were known to be lazy.

"Proper grammar is must and try to make this paper interesting. If I get bored, you get a zero," I rolled my eyes as he continued to drone on about how our writing abilities were less than substantial. Honestly, I didn't really care. A fifth grader could write a paper for him and it would be better than some of the things my class members could come up with. I wasn't worried.

Glancing around the room, I made eye contact with a few students who either rolled their eyes, looked terrified or mouthed insults towards the fat tub of lard at the front of the room.

"Pick up a book on your way out the door," Mr. Mason ordered in his dull voice. "Lose it; you owe the school fifteen dollars."

With that, he turned his back towards the class and numerous students gave him the finger. Some made faces but I sat still trying my hardest not to laugh. Suddenly Mr. Mason turned back around and everyone resumed his or her natural positions. That is, until he turned back round and more insulting gestures were thrown at him.

The bell rang and a stampede of teenagers charged towards his desk and out the door. Patiently I waited until a majority of students had gone and walked towards Mr. Mason's desk. Quickly I picked up the small book and read the title to myself.

"Night," I mumbled.

Turning it over I began to read the description. Apparently, it was an autobiographical tale of Elie Wiesel and his account of the Holocaust. It seemed interesting enough. And it was short. Happily, I placed the small book into my bag and began to walk out the door. Mr. Mason stopped me though.

"Ms. Walters," he said. I stopped and turned to face him. "I expect a rather well written paper from you."

Smiling, I nodded and walked out the door. As soon as I was in the hallway, I shook my head. That man was one of the most confusing people I'd ever met. Well, maybe next to Frank and a few others but still…

"Hey babe!"

I jumped slightly and turned to face the voice.

"Hey Al," I smiled.

"How's my sexy little friend today?" she asked while hugging me. I laughed.

"She is fantastic now that her lover is here!"

We both laughed and began to walk down the hall towards our lockers. She told me about something that had happened during her biology class that caused me to start laughing like a banshee.

"No he didn't!" I exclaimed as I continued to laugh. She nodded sporadically.

"Yes he did! And then he picked it up and started to make it dance!" she added referring to the frog that they had dissected earlier.

I shook my head.

"Guys are morons," I said and she nodded.

"Not all of them are," a new voice said. Startled I turned and lost my footing. Before I hit the ground, I felt two arms wrap around me and stand me up.

"Thanks Ray," I smiled up at his tall frame. He beamed back down.

"No problem. Although try not to make it habit," he said attempting to be serious. I heard Allie scoff from besides me and I mock glared at her.

"What?" she asked.

"You know what," I mumbled trying to keep in a smile.

"Jamie," she began, "babe it's not my fault that you can't seem to keep your balance when walking." I laughed as she said this and then stumbled slightly.

"You were saying?"

"Shut up," she glared before we both burst out in laughter.

"You two are so odd," Ray stated. I nudged him and Allie said,

"Yes but you love us!"

He smiled and shook his head.

"Think what you want," he said while looking around.

Both Allie and I stopped and gasped dramatically. I turned towards her with a sad expression on my face and then looked towards Ray. He held back a laugh until he saw tears come to my eyes. I tried my hardest not to smile and so that he wouldn't see I turned to bury my face in Allie's shoulder. I fake sobbed causing a small scene as she mumbled soothing worlds while petting my hair.

"Oh Jamie," Ray started buying into my act. "I'm sorry. I-I didn't mean it. I'm sorry, p-please don't cry." He put a hand on my shoulder and I laughed and turned towards him, tackling him into a hug.

Shocked, he stood with a bewildered face that Allie snapped a picture of. He hugged me back after a while, as he laughed along with us.

"You two are unbelievable," he laughed. I shrugged and Allie smiled flipping her long hair over her shoulders.

"So what's on the agenda for tonight?" I asked him while opening my locker. Allie continued walking towards her locker.

"Go home. Play my guitar and avoid doing my homework until the last possible moment." I laughed as I shut the metal door with a small slam. "What about you?" he asked.

I shrugged. "Work, dinner, homework then bed," I stated. He nodded.

"Sounds fun."

"More than you could possibly know," I said sarcastically as I waved goodbye to Allie and a few others.

"I'll see you Ray," I said as I walked towards my bus stop. I was halfway there when his voice rang out.

"Jamie!" I turned and walked back towards him.

"Yeah?"

"You said that you're going to work right?" he asked. I nodded, confused as to where he was headed with this. "Well…do you have a…umm…ride home?" He asked while rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.

Realization struck me and I fought to keep my irritation under control.

"Yes I do," I tried to say lightly but it came out strained.

"Oh," he mumbled. "Okay…"

"Why?" I asked before I could stop myself. I knew full well why he wanted to know.
However, I needed to hear him say it.

"Well you know…" he said.

"No. Actually I don't."

He seemed taken aback by my mood change but I didn't care. My annoyance had gotten the best of me and turned into anger very quickly.

"Well," he began again. "The last time you had a ride home…" he trailed off.

"What Ray?" I asked rather annoyed. "I was attacked? Do you think that I need to be chauffeured everywhere now?" I folded my arms across my chest. "I'm fine by myself. I can take care of myself. I don't need your help!"

"God Jamie," he said slightly agitated. "I was just offering you a ride." The anger slowly rolled away and was replaced by waves of embarrassment and regret.

"Oh Ray," I sighed softly. Pinching the bridge of my nose, I tried to think of what to say.
"I'm so sorry. I didn't… I shouldn't have snapped at you like that." Shaking my head, I fought the few tears that were coming to my eyes. How could I have been so rude to him? He was just worried and I treated him like dirt.

I felt two arms wrap around me and I relaxed into his embrace.

"Its okay Jamie," he mumbled soothingly. "I should've been more understanding or something…" he trailed off trying to make me feel better. I gave a strangled laugh and pulled away from him trying to hide my tears. Wiping them away, I apologized.

"Its okay," he said brightly and I laughed again.

"I can't believe I'm crying!" I exclaimed while turning away from him. "I don't cry. God I'm such a dork."

"No you're not," Ray reassured me. "You're just stressed. Maybe you should just go home and go to bed?" He suggested. I shook my head.

"I can't. I've already missed too much work and I don't want to lose my job," I said wiping under my eyes to clean up my smudged eyeliner. "Besides, working will get my mind off of everything. I'll be fine."

I smiled up at him and returned it.

"Okay, but call me when you get home," he ordered and I agreed.

"Bye Ray."

"Bye James," he said while pulling me into another hug. "Everything's going be okay."
I nodded into his chest before smiling and walking towards my bus stop.

~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~

"Here's your check," I said pleasantly, "Have a nice day!" I smiled at the small family of four and waited until they left. When they did I collected my tip, cleared off part of the table and went back into the kitchen. Lea came in shortly after complaining.

"Why on earth do you need a knife when all you're having is a cup of coffee?!" She continued to rant as I pulled off my green apron and placed it into my zebra striped bag.

"Lea calm down," I laughed as she waved around a butter knife. Carefully I plucked it out of her grasp and grabbed onto her shoulders. She glared at me. "Just chill Lea. Besides, I'm sure he left you a pretty nice tip. Mr. McKinley usually does."

"You know his name?" she exclaimed.

"Yes," I laughed. "He's a regular."

She just rolled her eyes before picking up her bags. I copied her placing all three of them on my right shoulder.

"Why did you bring your book bag with you?" she asked as we walked towards her car.

"I came straight from school," I said. "I wasn't going to waste bus fair to go home then come back."

"You could've gotten a ride with me," she said.

"I would've been late," I said. "I needed to be there right after school and I didn't want you to be late for drama practice."

"Honestly James," she said. "I know all my lines and blocking. I could've twenty minutes late." We both laughed as we sat in her car. I shivered slightly as cold leather hit my bare arms.

She turned the heat on and quickly pulled out of the parking lot. Soon I was in front of my house, unloading everything from her backseat.

"Thanks for the ride," I said and she waved her hand at me.

"No problemo!" she said and I laughed.

"You're such a dork," I mumbled.

"Like you're not?"

"Please," I said dramatically, "I make dork look cool."

We both started laughing as I stood and walked onto the sidewalk. Leanne waved goodbye yelling that she'd see me tomorrow before speeding down the street.

Shaking my head at her reckless driving, I fished for my keys. The sun was just beginning to set casting all shades of gold, pink, purple and blue across the sky, making my house look like a dark silhouette. Sighing in relief at being home, and that I found my keys, I walked onto the old wooden porch. Leaning against the door, I went to put my key into the lock.

However, the door was already open.

I felt waves of fear wash over my body. Quickly I pulled out my phone and stuck it into my pocket. Dropping my bags quietly onto the porch beside me, I stepped into the small hall. I kept the door open and strained my ears for any sort of noise. Suddenly I hear a clanking noise coming from the kitchen. There was also a light filtering out through the door. It was the only light in the house. Holly's barking startled me making me yelp.
The noises from the kitchen stopped and my breath hitched. Footsteps could be heard from the kitchen and suddenly the door started to open. Panicked, I scrambled up the stairs in front of me and hid.

"Olly?" a masculine voice called out.

I waited until I heard the footsteps retreat. Slowly I crept down the steps and towards the door. I avoided the small tables and chairs as I searched for something to use as a weapon. An empty glass vase caught my attention and I quickly picked it up. Stealthily I walked towards the swinging door and took a deep breath.

I slowly pushed open the door.