Women of Anarchy: Never Look Back

“You can feel bad if it makes you feel better, picture me crying reading all your love letters. Walking around in your old sweaters baby. You can feel bad it if it makes you feel better…”

Patty Loveless’ voice traveled through the aisles of the small grocery store. The heels of my boots clicked against the tile as I walked looking through the produce the basket dangling from my arm with what little I had put in to it. A couple days had passed since the boys had dealt with Tristen’s rapist and things went back to normal.

I was still staying with Jax at his house only going back to my parents for clothes. Since I had the day off I decided to go grocery shopping and restock the kitchen. I hummed to the song playing as I grabbed what I needed and loaded it into my basket.

“Sargent Dixie Kelly?”

I turned to see a tall man with dark gray hair looking at me expectantly his blue striped shirt was ironed neatly along with his navy blue pants.

“um yes.” I answered him turning back around to finish bagging the vegetables.

“You’re affiliated with the Sons of Anarchy am I right?” he asked

I scoffed slightly. “You must not be from around here. If you were you would know that.”

“So that’s a yes.”

“Yes.” I said lowly suspicion building up in the pit of my stomach.

“And who are they to you?” he asked.

“Excuse me. But why are these questions important to you?” I snapped turning around to
look at him my hand finding its place on my hip.

“Oh! I’m sorry that was rude! I’m Josh. I just moved here and heard about the Sons and wanted to get more information about them.” He said holding a hand out for me to shake. I eyed his out stretched hand but took it any way still skeptical about his whole presence.

“so who is SAMCRO to you?” he pressed again.

“They’re my family.” I answered turning around and beginning to walk away, not to my surprise he followed.

“How do you mean family?”
I sighed turning to face him again. “I grew up in SAMCRO. My dad, godfather, brother, and boyfriend are members. Every one of them is family. They all had a hand in raising me.”

He nodded “So what exactly does SAMCRO do?”

“They’re just a motorcycle club”

“I’m just wondering. I want to get a feel for the local history.” He said shuffling slightly. “But you have answered my questions. Thank you for your time. Have a nice day Miss Kelly.” He said before walking away I watched him walk to a cashier grab a candy bar before paying and leaving the store. I quickly finished my shopping and went to the same cashier he had been to.

“Excuse me. But what was that man’s name?” I asked. The young woman looked up at me her eyes widening ever so slightly when she saw my face.

“Um Josh Kohn……I think. He um bought a candy bar and left.” She spoke her voice trembling. I sighed annoyed as the suspension and curiosity built up even more.

“But I did notice a badge.” This made my eyes spring open.

“A badge?” I questioned.

“Y-yes ma’m. When he went to pay he opened his wallet and I saw a gold badge. It said ATF I think…”

“ATF?” I thought aloud.

She nodded and began ringing up the few groceries I had. Once she had finished I paid and thanked her before walking quickly out to my car. I put the bags in the trunk and was turning to walk to the driver’s side door my hand pulling out my phone from my purse planning to call Jax. A rough hand grabbed my wrist causing me to drop my phone as he snatched my arm painfully behind my back and pressed his body against mine so that my front was arched against the shape of the trunk of the car. I looked behind me into the eyes of Josh Kohn..

“It seems Little Miss Biker Princess is nosey.” He said in a low voice.

“I just want to know why ATF is looking at SAMCRO” I said trying to keep my voice even.

“No reason. But you should know Dixie if I do find out something about the Sons you’ll fall right down with them and that’s something I would hate to see happen to one of our Nation’s heroes. It would be a shame to have your name slammed in the dirt after all you went through to get where you did in the Army. It would be a shame to see a pretty face like you locked up behind bars too.” He spoke running a finger down my jaw.

I threw my head away from his touch “Piss off” I breathed

“I’m educating you on what’s going to happen in the future Dixie.” He shrugged. ”If I were you I would get out now while I had the chance. You could even help me bring them down become and even bigger hero”

“I never wanted to be a hero Agent Kohn.” I said through gritted teeth.

“Hmm” he nodded “Well I should be going. Have a nice day. And remember I’ll be watching”

He released me and walked back to his car. I worked hard to control my breathing before I climbed into the car and with shaking hands I drove to Teller Morrow.
I jumped out of the car and raced inside the clubhouse seeing all they guys sitting around drinking a few beers.

“ATF’s in town” I said loudly catching everyone’s attention “looking to grill SAMCRO.”

Clay looked at me slightly shocked at either me sudden barging in or my words. “Sh*t” he cursed standing up. “Church! Now!” he ordered causing all the guys to jump up I went to walk back out when Clay called me name
“You too Dixie.” He said pointing into the room where Church was held.

“But Clay I have groceries in the car.”

“Half-sack!” He yelled “Get her groceries out of the car and put them in the fridge in the kitchen.”

I tossed Half-sack the keys and walked into the room shortly after Half sack came in and sat down and Clay instructed me to explain what had happened.

“Then as I was leaving he said he would be watching.” I finished looking through the clouds of smoke at Clay. He puffed his cigar a few times before looking at Jax.

“He hurt you?” Will asked.

“No just scared me I guess. Caught me off guard dropped my phone it has to be replaced. Then shoved me against the trunk.”

“What do you think VP?” Clay asked

Jax tore his eyes off of me and glanced at Clay.
“We need to get the guns out of Charming.” He said blowing the smoke out from his nose. “If the ATF Is looking to grill SAMCRO we have 25 to life sitting right outside.”

“Where are we going to store em then?” Tig asked.

“Nevada.” Jax answered. “Jury from the Devil’s Tribe still owes me a couple favors.”

“But going to Nevada would take you right through Mayan territory. Devil’s Tribe is surrounded by them. Wouldn’t the Mayans get suspicious.” I piped up.

Clay looked at me again seeming to forget I was still there. “Only two will go. Wouldn’t be so suspicious then. Just two guys going in for a friendly visit.” He said “Jax Bobby how soon can you leave?”

“As soon as possible.” Bobby answered.

“Then that settles it.” Clay spoke before dismissing Church.

I was the first one to walk out of church wanting to crack open a cold one to try and settle my paranoia that had been pent up from the day’s situation.
Jax caught up with me pulling me to him in a quick hug and kiss to the head before he reached for my arm gently pulling the sleeve of my jacket up to examine my wrist. A very light bruise of a hand print was visible, where Kohn’s fingers were held the darkest purple. Jax sighed softly and brought my arm to his lips placing a soft kiss to the dark skin.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
“I’ll see you in a few days.” Jax mumbled pressing his lips to mine as he strapped his bag onto the bike.

“Ok. J-Just remember my rules for runs.” I said looking up at him worry lacing my voice evenly.

“Run them by me again darling”

“Blow jobs I can handle won’t be happy about it but I can handle it. Hand jobs are the same way. Just please don’t stick your d*ck in any crow eater and make sure if blow jobs or hand jobs occur they don’t come to Charming alright and I don’t know about em?”

“You got it babe” he grinned kissing me again I weaved my fingers through his hair and held his lips to mine. Jax pulled away first. “I gotta go tell the guys something.” He said before walking toward the garage. I waited patiently leaning on his bike as he talked to Juice and Half sack before walking back to me.

“Alright Bobby and I are about to head out.” He said I reached up and caressed his face in my hands and he copied my action leaning down and capturing my lips with his. “Be safe.

Send Jury my love” I mumbled against his lips.
“I will.” He answered back pulling away before mounting his bike, giving me one more kiss, and following Bobby out of the lot.

Hours later after I had cleaned up the Clubhouse and decided to go home. I walked to my car when Juice and Half Sack stopped me.

“Where’re ya going Dixie?” Juice asked.

“Um home?” I answered side stepping him and continuing to the car.

“Well….uh why don’t you stay here? I mean we’re having a party tonight anyway and if you get tired you can always stay in Jax’s dorm.” Half Sack threw in.

“What’s up with you two? You’re acting really weird.”

“Ummmm….we haven’t gotten to hang out that much since you’ve been home is all” Juice smiled uncertainly.

“Did Jax put you up to this? Making sure I’m always being watched right?”

They were both silent. “He did.” I confirmed my own accusation as they both shared a glance before looking back at me. “That son of a b*tch.” I pulled out my phone and pressed 2.

“Hey darling.”

“Why the hell do you have prospect and Juice watching me? I can’t even go home?!” I said seeing both Juice and Half trying to sneak away when I stopped them.
He sighed heavily into the phone “Baby I don’t trust this ATF b*tch and I’m not there. Just work with me on this please”

“Why Jax? Its not like he’s going to try anything! Jesus! I’ll sleep with a gun under my pillow if it will make you feel better! But I’m not going to let this a*shole scare me!”

“Jesus Dixie work with me please! It scares me that you’re there and I’m not there to protect you if something happens.”

“I’m trying to work with you Jax but da*n it I want to sleep in our bed not here at the club!!”

“Fine but one of the guys goes to the house with you”

“Jax! Why are you being so difficult? I just want to go home and sleep and relax. How can I do that with one of the guys there? You’re overreacting”

“Fine!! Stay at the club! If I find out you left I swear……” his voice was rough and angry as he spoke

“You’ll what? I’ll be fine Jax! Stop worrying over nothing.” I snapped pressing the end button and hanging up on him. I turned off my phone before giving Juice and Half-Sack a glare, but then again it wasn’t their fault. They were just following the VP’s orders.

I went back to my car and went home ate a small supper and went to bed. As I lay under the sheets I began to feel guilty. I was being a b*tch toward him when all he was trying to do was protect me. Sighing I glanced at the clock it read 11:32. I sat up and reached into the drawer of the night stand and grabbed one of the numerous pre paid cell phones. I scrolled through the contacts and found Jax’s name. I held the phone to my ear and listend to it ring for about a good minute and a half before it went to his voice mail.

“Hey babe its me. Listen, I –uh I wanted to apologize you were right and I’m sorry for blowing up on you earlier. I miss you and can’t wait till you come home. Maybe we can take a weekend getaway or something, but anyway I’m sorry and hope you forgive me. Night”
I fell against the pillows as I snapped the phone shut and put it back down in the drawer before pulling Jax’s pillow to me and falling asleep.

~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Alright here are your keys. Thank you” I fake smiled at the about the 40th customer I’ve dealt with today. I sighed and fell into my chair blowing a stray piece of hair out of my face. A smile slowly crept onto my face as the sound of motorcycles roared closer and closer. I jumped to my feet and ran out of the office. The rest of the guys ended up going up to Nevada yesterday after Jax and Bobby left. I ran towards Jax’s awaiting arms and smiled as he twirled me around.

“I’m sorry…” I mumbled into his neck placing a small kiss under his ear.

“Its ok baby its ok. I’m here now.” He whispered in my ear. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too.” I smiled pulling my head away from his neck and kissing his lips. He pulled away and smiled at me “I’m going to shower then I’ll take you out somewhere.”

“ok” I nodded kissing his lips once more. He let go of me before walking to the dorms with his bag. I turned to see Gemma wrapped in Clay’s arms.

“Dixie go check the mail for me.”

I turned on my heel and walked toward the road reaching the mail box I reached inside and began sorting it as I walked back to the office.
Bill, bill, Junk, another bill, porn magazine, but a thick manila envelope was the last under the pile addressed to me. I set the rest of the mail down and studied the envelope. I didn’t recognize the hand writing and it didn’t have a return address. Slowly I ripped open the seal and reached inside pulling out a stack of pictures.

The first was of Jax and I kissing before he left yesterday. My eyebrows furrowed together as I flipped to the next picture of Bobby and Jax at a gas station at their feet was a bloody faced man staring up at them in fear with a blonde woman standing to the side. Turning to the next picture showed the blonde straddling the bike of Jax’s bike as they rode off onto the highway. But the last picture is what really got to me. This picture wasn’t as clear as the rest seeing it was at night but the image itself was clear enough to be seen. Through the open blinds was Jax behind the blonde woman . Both naked and both seeming to be enjoying themselves in their rather not so innocent act. I covered my mouth with one hand and dropped the pictures on the desk. Tears swam through my eyes as I sat staring at the picture. 11:32 was printed at the bottom right corner and I felt sick to my stomach. At the time I was calling to apologize he was screwing some other chick. The nauseous feeling in my stomach continued to build as I lowered my head and attempted to blink the tears away.

“Hey babe you ready to go?” Jax asked walking in the office. “What’s wrong?”
I shot him the dirties look I could glancing at the desk then back to him. He looked at the desk then back to me his eyes wide before he could even try to defend himself I stood up and stormed out of the office.

“Wait! Dixie I can explain!!” he yelled after me as I walked at a fast pase towards my car.
I turned sharply on my heel and looked at him

“Then please do! I beg of you! Why after I specifically asked you not to did you go and screw some girl!! Could your d*ck just not wait one d*mn night ?!?”

He was silent as he continued to stare at me I scoffed and continued to my car. “You pissed me off alright. I needed to think of something other than you for a d*mn moment I was pissed” he finally yelled after me. When I didn’t stop he continued “Where are you going?”
I paused after opening the door and looked at him “Well, I’m in the mood for a lay and seeing as I’m pissed off at you…..Guess I’ll have to go see who else I can find to suit my needs.”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I pushed open the door to the Charming Police Station and walked to the front desk.

“Can I help you?” the red head woman asked me.

“Is Officer Hale in?” I asked.

“Yes he’s in his office. Would you like me to call him for you?”

“No thank you.” I answered quickly before walking down the hall to the back rooms.

I knocked and waited for a response ‘come in’ was heard faintly. I pushed open the door and closed it behind me turning the lock as I did. David looked up from his paper work and a look of surprise crossed his features.

“Dixie.” He put down his pen and cleared his throat slightly. “What can I do for you?”

Before I could even comprehend what I was doing I had crossed the room in quick strides and pushed myself flush against Hale. Pressing my lips onto his. It didn’t take long for him to react pulling me closer to him. His hands quickly undid my jacket and threw it to the ground quickly doing the same to my shirt. I quickly pulled at his work uniform pulling buttons off in the process. He picked me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist as he slammed us against the wall. David’s lips trailed down from my lips to my bra covered breasts. He teased the sensitive hidden skin through the thin material making me moan out loud as he also began to grind his hips into mine. I could feel his member hard and throbbing through his work pants against my thigh I reached down and undid his pants letting them fall to the floor. With a sweep of his hand he had cleared his desk his papers, pens, pictures everything hitting the floor with a clatter. He carried me to the bare desk and laid me down on the cold wood quickly following and straddling me. He peeled off my bra before going back to kissing my lips as his hands worked the plump mounds. I pulled away and scattered kisses along his shoulder and neck moaning as he began to palm me through my jeans . Hale’s fingertips brushed against my bare sides ending at the hem of my jeans. He craned his neck and caught my lips again as he began to unbutton my jeans. This seemed to trigger something in my head to bring me back to reality. I sat up pushing David off of me.

“What? What’s wrong? What did I do?” he asked breathing heavily.

I sat on the edge of the table wrapping my arms around me. I felt dirty and like a slut. Just because Jax cheated on me didn’t mean that if I cheated on him it would make things better.

“I’m sorry David” I whispered as a lone tear fell down my cheek. “I should have never come here.” I slid off the desk and began to dress myself quickly.

“But wait Dixie….”

“I’m sorry Hale let’s just forget it please.”

With one last look I saw David’s disheveled appearance. His usual sleek down hair was standing in a few odd directions his shirt unbuttoned all the way adorning his sculpted abdomen one side tucked in the other untucked and an obvious erection through his boxers. I shut the door and walked out of the station still feeling like a piece of sh*t. I sat in my car wondering what I was going to do. I couldn’t face Jax seeing as what he did and I almost did.. Only one place came to mind.

I put my car in drive and turned onto South street it didn’t take long to see the ‘Leaving Charming’ sign. Once I passed Charming line I floored it…….