Women of Anarchy: Never Look Back

Jax’s hand slammed against the table in pure anger and frustration. The bikers and concerned family sitting around the clubhouse watched as Jax rampaged on, pacing back and forth.

“Its been a d*mn week! Where the hell is she?” his voice bellowed through the room as worry slipped past his lips.

“Dixie’s a big girl Jax. She can take care of herself…” Tig spoke.

“I want to know where my girl is! Especially after some ATF b*tch threatened her life!”

“Jackson!” Gemma’s voice interrupted “You can’t blame anybody here but yourself. Those pictures didn’t just come to her by accident. If you would have just kept your d*ck in your pants for one night we wouldn’t be in this situation.”

He stopped mid step and dropped his head running both his hands roughly through his hair stopping at his neck as he tried to process the thoughts running through his mind.

“Juice you can’t get a trace on her phone?” he asked more calmly.

“Nah man remember the Kohn guy smashed it in the grocery parking lot and none of the pre paids have been used. Neither has her credit or debit card”

“Maybe we should call the Hidalgo’s see if they’ve heard from her” Half Sack suggested.

“Already did none of them have seen or heard from Dix since Jason’s funeral..” Will cut in from his spot on the wall arms crossed tightly over his chest.

“What do we do Clay?” the young VP asked his stepfather almost desperately almost completely filled with defeat and hopelessness.

Clay looked at his suffering stepson and pondered possible ideas. “We need to find out where she is.” Clay stated “Chibs Bobby James get any and all brother clubs looking for her. Tacoma charter, Devils tribe, Nomads…”

They all sent a nod to Clay James sending a glare at Jax as he passed. The others slowly left the room too as Jax wandered to the window placing his arm on the cool glass and allowing his head to rest on his forearm. He closed his eyes and released a stressful sigh.

A hand clasped around his shoulder.
“We’ll find her son……” Clay’s voice said softly.

Jax pried his eyes open and stared through the glass to the empty dark parking lot…..He hoped so.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The crashing of the waves eased my mind. The dark sky causing the waves to look darker than they really were. I had eased into the sand before sun set which if I recall correctly was almost two hours ago. My newly sun kissed skin relished the soft wind blowing. The sheer button up I was wearing over a swim suit top billowed around me straining against the knot I had tied it into across my torso. It had been a week since I had left Charming. A week since I had seen those pictures of Jax and that girl. A week since I had almost slept with Hale. A week and I still feel like a common day slut.

The soft wind blew whipping my damp hair back. This beach held so many memories for me. When we were kids every summer John and Gemma would bring Jax and Thomas to play with Will and I as a little vacation. I stood and brushed the sand off of my shorts carelessly and began my trek up to the secluded beach house . The lights twinkled from the windows and sliding glass door giving off a relaxing comforting aurora. I slid the door closed and walked across the marble tile to the kitchen reaching inside I pulled out a beer and held the chilled glass to my sun scorched neck sighing slightly before popping it open and taking a sip. Leaning against the counter I took a moment to actually look around. The only things that had changed being it had been modernized. The old refrigerator swapped out for a stainless steel one with matching appliances and the cabinets being freshly repainted the summer before. No matter how many changes were made this place would always be a place full of happy memories for me. I pushed myself off the counter and began walking towards the bedroom I was using when a gloved hand was placed around my mouth causing me to scream into the leather and drop the bottle hearing it shatter into pieces as it hit the tile…..

A small smile crept its way onto Jax’s face as he sat in front of the laptop. Old home movies that either his mother or Theresa had made through their childhood played across the screen. He watched the video of Dixie getting her hair done for Prom intently feeling his heart swell a little bit more each time she smiled up at the recorder. Her blue eyes sparkling with joy and excitement.
Standing up abruptly he stalked to the bar and pulled a bottle of Jack Daniels from the shelf and took a healthy chug. Pulling it away from his lips his tired eyes fell upon the adjacent wall. His eyes skimmed over the pictures one by one until one caught his attention. Standing a little straighter he took a few steps toward it. It was of his youth on the beach. Jax, Thomas, Will and Dixie all smiling happy smiles at the camera sporting their bathing suites. His mind flashed back to that summer.. All the fun and laughs they shared. It was their last summer on the beach before Thomas and John died. After that no one had the feeling or the need to go back anymore for the fear of memories haunting them. Reminding them of what they no longer had. Suddenly something clicked inside Jax’s head.
“CLAY!!!” his voice bellowed through the entire building as he rushed to his room pulling off and on clothes in the process. By the time he reached the clubhouse again this time fully dressed everyone was standing there waiting.
“I know where she is…” Jax spoke pulling his gun and sheathed knife into their appropriate places.
“Wha-Where?” Clay asked his voice thick with sleep.
“The beach house… She always said It was the one place she could ever really think.” He answered pulling on his white sneakers followed by his sweatshirt and jogging out the door. As he straddled his bike he heard the rest running out the door. He didn’t wait……

I struggled against the hand around my mouth and waist kicking, biting, anything I thought might help, but the body behind me wouldn’t budge.
“Always a feisty on eh?” the voice brought me to stop struggling and watch as Josh Kohn glided forward from the front hall wearing a black t-shirt and dark blue jeans with matching leather gloves on his hands as my captor. The gloved hand loosened before dropping from my mouth, but the arm around my waist held its firm grip.
“But lets see whats missing from this picture?” he asked himself his finger tapping his chin in mock thought. “Oh that’s right! Your little biker friend isn’t here is he?” He asked picking up a picture of Jax and I off the table and examining it closely. ”How convenient..” he smirked wickedly dropping the picture to the ground letting the frame break at my feet. “Have you thought about my offer?” he asked leaning on the counter and picking up an apple from the fruit bowl holding it to the light and taking a huge bite.
“I said it before and I’ll say it again no” I seethed. He shook his head and came closer to me. Raising his fist he slapped me hard across the face and punching me in the stomach knocking the breath out of me. The captor holding me let me fall to the ground as I clutched my stomach in pain.

“Now I’ll give you another chance Dixie..” he said rolling his wrist. “Now what information can you tell me on SAMCRO.”
He kneeled down in front of me as I gasped for breath. My hand slowly inched to the picture frames’ shattered glass beside me grasping the largest shard I pulled my hand back and stabbed it into his thigh. He cried out in pain as I jumped up to run I felt a hand on my ankle causing me to crash onto the floor. I looked over my shoulder to see the other man for the first time. His bald head shined in the light and his black eyes held an evil glint. I turned over on my back and shoved my foot into his stomach and pushed him off of me. I quickly ran to the dark laundry room locking the door and reached behind the dryer for the sawed off shotgun. Loading the rounds into the chamber I aimed it to the closed door and waited. My breathing was heavy and ragged as I waited. My mind began reeling the pre paids were upstairs along with my gun. The light shown under from the door and everything was silent. Heavy footsteps began making their way closer and closer the shadow growing as well. The door knob jiggled slightly before I heard metal against metal. Great! He’s picking the lock! I thought. Anxiety grew in my stomach before the door slowly opened as soon as the man’s silhouette came into view I pulled the trigger. The man stumbled back before falling to the ground. With cautious steps I stepped over the bald man’s body kneeling down I pressed two fingers to his throat. He’s dead. In one swift motion the shotgun was pulled from my grasp and a sharp pain began in the back of my head. I fell on my side and watched as everything became blurry I could make out Kohn’s silhouette leaning over me before the black consumed me.

A moan escaped my lips as I slowly opened my eyes. I reached to touch my aching head but found my wrist restrained to a chair. Not only that but I also noticed I was now in the bedroom. My head continued to pound as I struggled against the restraint. I pulled my wrist up as hard as I could feeling the rope dig into my flesh unforgivingly. The click of a gun stopped my struggle as I looked up I saw Kohn pointing my gun at me.
He sighed heavily as he kneeled down in front of me staring me down like a predator.
“You know what this is?” he asked. Holding up my gun for me to see.
I nodded weakily. “Its my gun…”
He stood back up and leaned against the bed unloading the barrel. Holding up one single silver bullet he held it up to the light.
“And this…..” he said “is your chance of life.” He loaded the single bullet back into the chamber slapping his hand over the barrel so it rotated into place before he cocked it and pointed it at me again. My body began to shake as he came back on his feet.
“Please” I begged analyzing the situation at hand as tears formed in my eyes and my body began to shake. I had no famous Dixie Kelly plans come to mind that would help me out of this predicament. No one to help me. I was going to die…….

As his finger squeezed the trigger tighter I clenched my eyes shut awaiting the pain. ‘God please forgive me for the wrongs I have done in my life. Keep a hand of protection over my family Lord’ I prayed in my head over and over. I heard the click of the trigger being pulled but after that nothing. No load bang no pain.
I slowly opened my eyes to see Kohn staring at me intently a small smile playing at his lips.
“Looks like its your lucky day Sargent.” He reached into a black back that had been placed on the bed and pulled out a syringe I felt my heart beat accelerate as he fished through his pocked and pulled out a small vile. Injecting the needle inside a clear liquid filled the cylinder.
“wh-What is that?” I asked.
“Some good ole’ GHB” he smiled as he set the needle down and began undoing his belt. Rolling up my left sleeve he tightened the leather belt over my arm and squeezed it tightly constricting it into my skin.
“P-Please! I don’t want it! Please No!” he ignored my please and injected the needle into my arm. I felt my mouth go dry as the cold liquid pulsed through my veins. Objects appeared in odd shapes and colors as my eyes became heavy and closed….
~~~ Red, white, and blue streams adorned the clubhouse along with multiple American flags. A 5 year old girl with bouncing brown curls chased the two older boys past their two mothers holding food to be carried outside. The two women shared a look before shaking their heads and following the children outside.
“Will!! Jackson!!” she yelled after them as he legs pumped furiously to try and catch up with them as they ran though the smoke from the grill and out into the lot. They three ran past a group of leather clad men who stopped their chatter to watch.
“Its only a matter of time James. My boy and your little girl. They’re going to produce a new generation of Sons.” John Teller smiled holding his two year old son Thomas on his side.
James shook his head watching as his daughter, Dixie, chase her brother, Will, and his friends son, Jackson.
Night fell over Charming as the four children sat on a blanket in the middle of the lot. Gemma, Jax and Thomas’ mother, sat on a corner holding Thomas as Dixie sat in Jax’s lap with her feet in her brothers. She rested her head back on Jax’s shoulder as the sky suddenly burst into color. Dixie’s bright blue eyes watched mesmerized by the beautiful fireworks. A shy eight year old Jax watched as Dixie jumped slightly due to the load bang of the fireworks. She grabbed his hand and continued to watch the sky with him.
A young Otto Delaney sat with his wife Luann in his lap. He watched slightly amused as his god daughter sat in the lap of the future President of SAMCRO holding his hand. He whispered in his wife’s ear and she too looked at the two children whispering ‘how cute!’~~~

Slowly my eyes opened to see the white ceiling above me and feel the soft bedding beneath me. Odd colors rimmed my vision still. Kohn appeared above me his mouth moved forming words that I could not comprehend as he caressed my face. He moved so he was straddling me. I opened my mouth to say something but words jumbled together in a slurred speech. I felt his hands on my torso rubbing circles into my skin. ‘throw him off!’ my brain screamed. But I couldn’t. As much as my brain told my arms to throw him off or to kick him in the family jewels nothing happened. As my brain continued this internal battle my eyes continued to grow heavy again as his hands invaded my body. Just as my eyes were about to close again suddenly all of Kohn’s weight vanished from my body and a crash followed. The mattress sunk beneath weight at my head.
“Dixie! Dixie, come on baby! Open your eyes!” a voice called out to me. I knew that voice. Jax! “Please Dixie! Open your eyes for me please baby!” he continued to beg cupping my face. With all the remaining strength I held in me I pried my eyes open. I could barely make out his blonde hair and his worried blue eyes.
“Jax…” I mumbled as black spots covered my vision. “No no no! baby keep your eyes open! Stay with me…” One particular spot continued to grow and grow before blacking out everything….
Jax began to panic. What had Kohn done to her? He asked as he cradled Dixie’s head gently. Anger still pulsated through his body as the image of Kohn straddling his barely conscious Dixie his hands taking advantage of her vulnerable state. He had tackled him off of her throwing them to the floor in the process his fists flew relentlessly into the ATF agents face. Will and Tig pulled him off saying they would take care of him. Jax continued to try and wake her but she wouldn’t move..
“Chibs!”
The Scotsman came to the side of the bed and began examining the girl. His expert eyes stopped at the small bruised needle hole on her arm. He then quickly scanned the bedside table finding the empty syringe.
“He’s drugged her…” Chibs spoke stalking over to the bloody agent. TIg held Kohn up as Chibs searched his pockets finally finding the medicine vile.
“GHB.” He read off the label
“GHB? What the hell is that?” Clay asked from the doorway .
“Gamma-Hydroxybutyric acid. Its used as a date rape drug…” The scot said worry filling his voice as he rushed to Dixie’s side again pressing his fingers to her pulse point. A flush of relief overcame him as the faint beat was felt. “The son of a B**** could have easily killed ‘er. She’s gonna be out a while. Givin’ us plenty a time to deal with ya..” Chibs said turning back to Kohn. Jax stood pulling his own gun out of its holster. Before anyone could react he shot a bullet into Kohn’s stomach and then added another one into his skull. The rest of the crew drug the body out of the room dragging a blood stain across the mahogany wood floor. Jax’s chest heaved up and down as placed the gun on the night stand and went back to Dixie. Pulling back the blankets of the bed he slipped Dixie under the linens and turned off the lights. He walked downstairs and collected the supplies to clean the blood trail. Once that was done he settled atop the bed beside Dixie watching as she snuggled in close to him. Her head found its way to his chest he slowly ran his fingers through her hair and kissed her forehead…….

I woke to a throbbing head ache I turned my face further into the pillow as I clutched at my hair. My hand came to rest on a large bump on the back of my head. Wincing I pulled my hand back as the memories of last night filled my head. What had happened after he almost shot me? Everything was black after that. I quickly snatched the covers off my body finding myself in what I had worn yesterday. I slowly peeked downstairs to see the back of SOA cuts gathered around the kitchen eating. When had they gotten here? Oh my head! Clutching the handrail I stumbled down the steps slowly. Jax noticed my presence first and quickly stood up and came over to my wrapping an arm around my waist. “You ok?” he asked softly. I shook my head “My head is killing me…” I mumbled leaning into him as he walked us to the couch. “Chibs!” I cringed at his loudness as I watched Chibs make his way to us.
“Ay love. How you feeling?”
“Like sh*t. My head is pounding..”
“ ‘ere take dis” he said handing me a couple pain pills and I glass of soda. I threw the pills back like a pro and swallowed the glass of soda quickly while Jax rubbed a hand up and down my back soothingly. “What happened?” I asked looking from Jax to Chibs. Chibs gave Jax a questioning glance who responded with a nod. “well….uh there’s no easy way to tell ye this love but he have you a date rape drug that knocked ye out .”
“W-what?” I stuttered.
“I’ll leave ye two alone” Chibs said standing up and walking back to the rest. I turned to Jax
“When we got here he had you on the bed. He hadn’t done anything just undone your cover top. All I can think about is what would have happened if he hadn’t got here in time”
“how long have I been out?”
“Almost 24 hours” he answered
“I’m sorry Jax” I whimpered placing my head on his shoulder fighting back tears. “Shhh baby….its alright. Its all gonna be alright darling I promise.” Jax wrapped his arms around me pulling me in his lap.
*cough cough* “Uh sorry to break up this little…..moment.” Clay said from the doorway “How you doing Dixie? You gave us all a scare last night?”
“I’ll be ok”
He nodded “ You and Jax are gonna stay the weekend enjoy yourselves. We’ll all be leaving in a couple hours.” Jax nodded and kissed my forehead as he stood and helped me up. The two hours had passed and I was hugging all the guys goodbye sighing happily as I closed the front door and locked it. It was late now as I made my way back to the kitchen Jax was leaning casually against the counter top drinking a beer.
“I’m going to go shower” I told him. He nodded and watched as I made my way upstairs. I stripped off my clothes and stood under the hot water allowing it to wash away everything from the night and day before. Running the shampoo through my hair I stopped at the bump again remembering where Kohn had hit me with the shotgun closing my eyes as the scene played over in my head cringing at as the images flashed behind my closed eyes.
I quickly finished my shower and changed into an old Harley tshirt that hit about mid thigh before walking down stairs. Jax wasn’t in the kitchen anymore but his empty beer bottle was left on the counter as I walked closer to it I saw a hand written note.
‘Went for a swim. Come join me –Jax xx’ I looked out through the sliding glass door seeing the ebony water with a highlight of the full moon splitting it through the middle. Glancing at the clock on the stove 9:15 shown in green digits. I fiddled with the edge of the paper as my mind reeled. This was my chance to make up for all the sh*t that has gone done. I stepped closer to the door and saw the collection of Jax’s clothes in a pile by the door. Anxiety began to fill my stomach as I crossed my arms over my front and yanked my shirt off and pulled my underwear down leaving my completely exposed. With quick steps I made my way through the sand. I stopped at the water line and looked to find Jax with his back to me. Taking a deep breath I swayed through the water until I came behind him wrapping my arm around him from behind. The cool water at my stomach and his body heat sent a tingle up my spine. He turned his body to my and wrapped his arms around my waist. Tucking a piece of damp hair behind my ear he caressed my face and pressed a soft kiss to my lips. I moved my arms to his neck pulling him closer to me as his tongue found its way into my mouth. The kiss became more passionate as he raked his fingers through my hair. When he pulled away he pecked my lips a few more times and pulled my even closer to him. Full flesh on flesh. It was a sensual intimate moment between the two of us..away from the club, all the drama, fighting, troubles the would normaly plague our minds, we were away from it and we were together.
“