Women of Anarchy: Never Look Back
Tired
~"I love you" his voice whispered in my ear causing a smile to erupt across my face. "I could get use to waking up to this" I giggled snuggling deeper into the white covers as Jason pulled me by my waist closer to him. I breathed in the scent of the beach as I heard the waves crashing on the shore just outside our hotel. We had a week and a half off for leave and figured we wouldn't have that much time to actually spend with family and we felt we needed time to spend with each other so we flew to Barcelona. I held the sheets to my bare body and looked at Jason. He was on his stomach eyes closed head buried in the pillow I straddled his waist sitting on his butt and examined his tattoo. Hidalgos was written across his upper back with the skull of a Texas Longhorn bull under it Hanesville, California was under the skull as well just like the back of his cut. I placed a gentle kiss at his neck and worked my way down his back until I reached where the comforter was covering him waist down. In one swift movement he had turned from laying on his stomach to his back. Grinning up at me in my sheet made dress. One of the many things I loved the most about him I could be sitting on top of him completely nude and he would keep his eyes locked with mine the entire time. His large rough hands grabbed hold of my waist and held me in position on his hips I leaned down and kissed his soft lips cupping his face in the process. This was a tender moment I wanted to always remember just the two of us being able to enjoy ourselves together and not having to worry about where we would have to be tomorrow or who we were going to have to kill. We pulled away but kept our foreheads touching our breath tickling each others lips causing both of us to grow hungry for more I ran my hand down the left side of his chest pressing my body firmly into his own and stopped when I felt his heartbeat under my palm knowing my name was inked into his skin right above his beating heart brought a smile to my face. I gently kissed the ink and looked up to his face. His hazel eyes glowed with happiness and sparkling with love I leaned up and pressed my lips to his again savoring his touch as one hand slid up and down my back and the other cupped my face the kiss became more heated and rough filling with need and want with each second “I love you Jason….” I gasped softly as I forced my lips from his “I love you so much” I moaned as his lips trailed a path down my neck~
My eyes shot open as I stared at the ceiling of my room sighing I looked over at the clock 3:57 AM glowed in a flashing red numbers I sighed running my hands through my hair knowing I wasn’t going to sleep again anytime soon. I climbed out of bed and dressed in a tank top track pants and an ARMY sweatshirt and went downstairs and watched tv.It was nice to see people on reality shows that were more messed up than me. Around 7 I slipped on some sneakers. Pulling my hair up into a tight ponytail I slipped out of my room silently seeing as everyone else was still asleep. Once I stepped outside I started down the road in a sprint by the time I reached town the sun had just started to rise. I ran past all the elder ladies doing their early shopping ,as they stopped and stared at me before turning to their friends, and whispering feverishly store owners were just opening their shops and waved as I passed. I continued to run when someone tugged at my arm. “Dixie?” David asked. “Hi David” I said as I took a step back to look at him. His ink black hair was combed back from his face and his square jaw set. Giving him that “All American” look. “Wow. I-I can’t believe its you. I haven’t seen you in awhile” he smiled softly. “Yeah I just got back a couple days ago.” “Yeah I heard about Jason. I’m real sorry” he said reaching to put his hand on my shoulder. Apparently he still had his little crush on me. “This town is too small” I sighed shaking my head. “I hear ya. Look can I take you out to lunch or something? Catch up?” he looked up hopeful. “Um I don’t know about lunch but do you think you could give me a ride back home. We can talk over a cup of coffee” I said suddenly feeling very weak. “Wow Dixie! Are you ok? You just got really pale” “Yeah guess I’m just tired” “Well come on I’ll take you home” he said holding open the door to his jeep. I slid in the seat and started taking deep breaths so maybe I could feel normal. David and I made small talk as he drove me home and I could tell he was genuinely concerned. David parked in the drive way and cursed under his breath. I looked up to see Jax leaning against his bike cigarette in hanging between his lips. “David” I whispered as he got out of the jeep slamming his door in the process before coming over to my side and helped me out. Jax was walking towards us quickly. “What the hell did you do Hale?” Jax yelled “He didn’t do anything Jax he just brought me home. Listen David can we have a rain check on the coffee please.” I said leaning on the jeep slightly holding a hand to my stomach. “Yeah no problem just let me know if you need anything.” I nodded as Jax slipped his arm around me and led me to the house. I felt David’s intense glare on Jax before he got in his jeep and left. Once Jax got me to the living room I fell on the coach slipping off my shoes in the process. “What can I do princess?” Jax asked worried kneeling down near my head. “Will you start my shower for me? I haven’t been sleeping well since Iraq” I whispered feeling sick to my stomach and dizzy. “yeah Ill be back in a second”. I heard his boots quickly walk up the stairs as I closed my eyes. Images of Jason covered in blood and having trouble breathing flashed behind my closed eyes. Tears burned my eyes as much as I tried to compose myself nothing helped."Jason.." I whispered “Dixie” I heard Jax whisper “Jax” I cried wrapping my arms around him “I’m tired. Just so tired” I whispered into his chest my voice cracking before I broke down again. My stomach churning violently. He quickly wrapped his arms around me and picked me up effortlessly. I knew I looked like a mess but was thankful Jax was being comforting to me. He carried me to my room and stood outside the bathroom where he gently set me on my feet but kept his hands securely on my waist. I turned to him my eyes still watering “Thank you” I whispered before pulling away and stepping in the bathroom. I stripped out of the sweatshirt and pants before taking off my undergarments. Jax was still at the doorway making sure I was ok. I stepped under the hot water sighing I laid my head on the tile and took a deep breath. I washed my body and shaved. Sliding down the tiled wall I pulled my knees to my chest wrapping my arms around them. I took shaky breaths before tears came yet again. I sat there crying. Crying until my tears were gone and only my sobs were heard. The hot water turned cold before I carefully stepped out drying off.I stood infront of my mirror wrapped in a fulffy towel. My eyes were bloodshot and puffy I ran a brush through my hair before I changed into one of my dad’s old t shirts he gave me and some baggy basketball shorts. I carefully walked downstairs still not feeling like myself. Jax was talking to Gemma at the table a few covered bowls beside her. “how you feeling princess?” she asked standing up. “Not so good” I mumbled as she pressed the back of her hand to my head. “No fever. You told Jax you weren’t sleeping?” she asked I nodded. “Here I brought you some food. Eat. Then get in bed. Sleep. I mean it. No cleaning the house or some sh*t. Sleep.” I nodded. “I’m staying here with you to make sure you’re ok” Jax said from his spot. “Ok”. Normally I would argue ‘Im fine’ or ‘no I don’t want to bother you’ but at this moment I felt I did need somebody to be here. I walked into the kitchen and grabbed glasses for Jax and I. "I think she's just exhausted Jax. Just try and make her as comfortable as you can. Make sure she sleeps. Thats the important thing. Tomorrow is going to be hard on her." I heard Gemma say. She was right. I was exhausted. Gemma left and Jax and I ate. The hot homemade soup slid down my throat making me feel slightly better. Jax helped me to my room I slipped into my covers and I saw Jax turn to leave the room, but I reached out to for his wrist. “Please” I almost begged “stay”. He nodded and moved to the other side of the bed and removed his boots and cut before laying on the bed beside me. He wrapped his arms around me bringing me close. I was almost afraid to go to sleep afraid that the images of Jason would appear again I just stared at the clock that read 2:12 PM. Jax noticed I was tense and fully alert as he rubbed my arm “Just relax I’m not going anywhere darlin’ ” he whispered his breath tickling my hair before he kissed my head. I felt my body slowly relax against the bed and slowly fell asleep...
oufits
My eyes shot open as I stared at the ceiling of my room sighing I looked over at the clock 3:57 AM glowed in a flashing red numbers I sighed running my hands through my hair knowing I wasn’t going to sleep again anytime soon. I climbed out of bed and dressed in a tank top track pants and an ARMY sweatshirt and went downstairs and watched tv.It was nice to see people on reality shows that were more messed up than me. Around 7 I slipped on some sneakers. Pulling my hair up into a tight ponytail I slipped out of my room silently seeing as everyone else was still asleep. Once I stepped outside I started down the road in a sprint by the time I reached town the sun had just started to rise. I ran past all the elder ladies doing their early shopping ,as they stopped and stared at me before turning to their friends, and whispering feverishly store owners were just opening their shops and waved as I passed. I continued to run when someone tugged at my arm. “Dixie?” David asked. “Hi David” I said as I took a step back to look at him. His ink black hair was combed back from his face and his square jaw set. Giving him that “All American” look. “Wow. I-I can’t believe its you. I haven’t seen you in awhile” he smiled softly. “Yeah I just got back a couple days ago.” “Yeah I heard about Jason. I’m real sorry” he said reaching to put his hand on my shoulder. Apparently he still had his little crush on me. “This town is too small” I sighed shaking my head. “I hear ya. Look can I take you out to lunch or something? Catch up?” he looked up hopeful. “Um I don’t know about lunch but do you think you could give me a ride back home. We can talk over a cup of coffee” I said suddenly feeling very weak. “Wow Dixie! Are you ok? You just got really pale” “Yeah guess I’m just tired” “Well come on I’ll take you home” he said holding open the door to his jeep. I slid in the seat and started taking deep breaths so maybe I could feel normal. David and I made small talk as he drove me home and I could tell he was genuinely concerned. David parked in the drive way and cursed under his breath. I looked up to see Jax leaning against his bike cigarette in hanging between his lips. “David” I whispered as he got out of the jeep slamming his door in the process before coming over to my side and helped me out. Jax was walking towards us quickly. “What the hell did you do Hale?” Jax yelled “He didn’t do anything Jax he just brought me home. Listen David can we have a rain check on the coffee please.” I said leaning on the jeep slightly holding a hand to my stomach. “Yeah no problem just let me know if you need anything.” I nodded as Jax slipped his arm around me and led me to the house. I felt David’s intense glare on Jax before he got in his jeep and left. Once Jax got me to the living room I fell on the coach slipping off my shoes in the process. “What can I do princess?” Jax asked worried kneeling down near my head. “Will you start my shower for me? I haven’t been sleeping well since Iraq” I whispered feeling sick to my stomach and dizzy. “yeah Ill be back in a second”. I heard his boots quickly walk up the stairs as I closed my eyes. Images of Jason covered in blood and having trouble breathing flashed behind my closed eyes. Tears burned my eyes as much as I tried to compose myself nothing helped."Jason.." I whispered “Dixie” I heard Jax whisper “Jax” I cried wrapping my arms around him “I’m tired. Just so tired” I whispered into his chest my voice cracking before I broke down again. My stomach churning violently. He quickly wrapped his arms around me and picked me up effortlessly. I knew I looked like a mess but was thankful Jax was being comforting to me. He carried me to my room and stood outside the bathroom where he gently set me on my feet but kept his hands securely on my waist. I turned to him my eyes still watering “Thank you” I whispered before pulling away and stepping in the bathroom. I stripped out of the sweatshirt and pants before taking off my undergarments. Jax was still at the doorway making sure I was ok. I stepped under the hot water sighing I laid my head on the tile and took a deep breath. I washed my body and shaved. Sliding down the tiled wall I pulled my knees to my chest wrapping my arms around them. I took shaky breaths before tears came yet again. I sat there crying. Crying until my tears were gone and only my sobs were heard. The hot water turned cold before I carefully stepped out drying off.I stood infront of my mirror wrapped in a fulffy towel. My eyes were bloodshot and puffy I ran a brush through my hair before I changed into one of my dad’s old t shirts he gave me and some baggy basketball shorts. I carefully walked downstairs still not feeling like myself. Jax was talking to Gemma at the table a few covered bowls beside her. “how you feeling princess?” she asked standing up. “Not so good” I mumbled as she pressed the back of her hand to my head. “No fever. You told Jax you weren’t sleeping?” she asked I nodded. “Here I brought you some food. Eat. Then get in bed. Sleep. I mean it. No cleaning the house or some sh*t. Sleep.” I nodded. “I’m staying here with you to make sure you’re ok” Jax said from his spot. “Ok”. Normally I would argue ‘Im fine’ or ‘no I don’t want to bother you’ but at this moment I felt I did need somebody to be here. I walked into the kitchen and grabbed glasses for Jax and I. "I think she's just exhausted Jax. Just try and make her as comfortable as you can. Make sure she sleeps. Thats the important thing. Tomorrow is going to be hard on her." I heard Gemma say. She was right. I was exhausted. Gemma left and Jax and I ate. The hot homemade soup slid down my throat making me feel slightly better. Jax helped me to my room I slipped into my covers and I saw Jax turn to leave the room, but I reached out to for his wrist. “Please” I almost begged “stay”. He nodded and moved to the other side of the bed and removed his boots and cut before laying on the bed beside me. He wrapped his arms around me bringing me close. I was almost afraid to go to sleep afraid that the images of Jason would appear again I just stared at the clock that read 2:12 PM. Jax noticed I was tense and fully alert as he rubbed my arm “Just relax I’m not going anywhere darlin’ ” he whispered his breath tickling my hair before he kissed my head. I felt my body slowly relax against the bed and slowly fell asleep...
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