The Only Thing On My Wishlist

The Book Nook wasn’t particularly busy at seven o’clock on New Year’s Eve. If we were being honest, it was deader than a doornail. The bell above the door hadn’t rung in hours. I wasn’t sure if it was because people had more important things to do, or if it was because of the snowstorm brewing outside. Either way, I was bored and on my fifth cup of coffee, which left me a weird jittery mess.

Phil had told me earlier—tossing a set of keys in my direction, like I’d been working at the store for more than three days—that if the store wasn’t busy at eight, to close. I guess any normal person would take advantage of that, it being New Year’s Eve and all, but I wasn’t normal and I’d use any excuse I got to show up to the Franceschi’s as late as possible. They were having a party, which was an annual thing. I mean, things weren’t nearly as awkward between Josh and I as I anticipated, but that didn’t mean I wanted to spend New Year’s at his house, counting down the minutes to midnight. I’d much rather stay here until ten, drinking coffee and reading magazines like they were going out of style.

Lucy thought I was a chicken, but I think I was just more scared than anything. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to be with Josh; I did. I just knew that Josh was good for me, and that scared me more than anything because I knew he wouldn’t hurt me. I was so used to getting hurt, and I guess I was just afraid to let myself be happy.

I was in the middle of an article about protecting plants from frost in Better Homes and Gardens when the door swung open, sending the bell ringing and a chilly breeze through the store.

“‘Ello.” He smiled, his hands tucked into his jacket, his face chapped from the wind.

“Hi?” I quirked an eyebrow, closing my magazine. “Can I help you with something?”

“You’re open, right?” He asked, glancing around the ghost town of a bookstore.

I nodded. “We’re open.”

He smiled, dimples forming in his cheeks as he let out a small cough. “I’m looking for a book.”

I laughed. “Well, we’ve got plenty.”

He shook his head, the smile still on his lips. “For my sister. It’s her birthday tomorrow. She’s a bit of a bookworm.”

I nodded again, jumping down from my stool. “What does she like?”

He shrugged. “Dunno. What do most sixteen year old girls read?”

“Depends.” I told him, motioning for him to follow me up the stairs. “Is she in love with a fictional vampire? Does she like romance? Or does she prefer getting lost in some fantasy world?”

I saw him scrunch his brow as I navigated us through the shelves of books, passing the history section and the health section before stopping in front of the section for young adults. “What do you suggest?”

I smiled, scanning the shelf until my eyes landed on the D section of authors and I pulled out two paperbacks. “Either one of these.”

“The Truth About Forever? This Lullaby?”

I nodded. “This Lullaby is my personal favorite, but The Truth About Forever is a close second.”

“Very well.” He took them both out of my hands. “I’ll take both.”

I smiled, turning back to the stairs.

Working at The Book Nook wasn’t hard. You scanned some books, offered what little literary wisdom you could, and wished the costumers well.

“You’re not from around here, I take it?” He leaned against the counter as I placed the books into a bag.

“Technically, I live Surrey, but I’m originally from Georgia.” I told him.

“What brought you across the pond?”

I looked up at him, pushing the brown bag across the counter. It was the first time I realized he had dark brown eyes and his hair was the color of sand. He was good-looking, the face of a model. I was so paralyzed by his beauty that I’d forgotten he asked a question. “Oh… The holidays.”

He nodded, a smile twitching at his lips. “And what’s kept you here?”

It wasn’t that hard of a question to answer. I mean, it would be so easy to say it was because of my mom, or because of Lucy, or because I liked working a The Book Nook that much. But none of it would be true. Deep down, I think everyone knew why I really stayed in England.

“Boyfriend?” He asked.

My smile fell as I ran my teeth over my bottom lip. “Not exactly.”

He nodded, still smiling as he took the handles of the bag. “Well, whatever the reason, I hope you enjoy your stay.”

“Thank you.”

He took a step back, eyeing the door. “Happy New Year,” he said before disappearing into the wintery night.

I sighed, my eye flickering to the clock. It was barely seven-thirty, leaving me nothing to do, except open my magazine up again and continue reading.

**

Lucy was going to kill me, not because I was running late, but because I didn’t go home to change. She had laid out an appropriate dress on my bed, and I knew showing up in a pair of dust covered jeans and some worn out flats wasn’t going to fly with her. She should just be happy I was going, to be honest. I would much rather be home with a bowl of popcorn, watching the British version of Dick Clark on TV.

By the time I got to the Franceschi’s, there was virtually no parking, leaving me no choice but to block whoever’s cars were in the driveway. If I had it my way, I’d be scooting out before the clock even hit midnight.

“Elliot!” Lydia gasped as she opened the door. “What a wonderful surprise. Your mum said she wasn’t sure if you’d make it.”

I smiled, stepping into the house. “Lucy would have my neck if I missed this.”

Lydia smiled back, shutting the door and taking my jacket.

The house was filled with people casually sipping wine, talking and laughing like they had all the time in the world. It was nice—a different feel from the Christmas parties. Lucy was so strict, everything had to be in order and on time. This party was more casual, less high-strung, and hopefully I’d make it through it.

“What are you wearing?” I heard Lucy say from behind me. “What happened to the dress?”

I rolled my eyes, turning around and smiling when I saw Max. “I didn’t have time, Luce. The store didn’t close—”

“Ellie, dear!” I felt an arm wrap around my shoulders, the familiar voice of Phil filling my ears. “I thought I told you to close at eight? It’s nearly eleven.”

I swallowed hard, avoiding Lucy’s glare. “We got busy?”

Phil laughed, unwrapping his arm from around me. “I got lucky with this one. Such a serious worker, she is.”

I forced a smile as Phil walked away, leaving me with the wrath of Lucy.

“Why are you avoiding Josh?” Lucy asked, crossing her arms.

“What?” I questioned. “I’m… I’m not avoiding Josh.”

She shot me a dumb look. “You said things were okay when you bumped into him the other day.”

I shrugged. “Things are fine.”

“Then why are you just getting here?”

I wasn’t avoiding Josh. If I was, I wouldn’t have even shown up here. “Lucy, I love you, but you said you’d stay out of this.”

“But, Ellie.” She whined.

I shook my head, not bothering to say anything else to her.

I wasn’t sure where I was going. I didn’t really want to hang around Mom and Henry, and the only other people I knew where hanging around Lucy, leaving me virtually nowhere to go. Instead of looking like some pathetic little girl, I took a deep breath and climbed up the stairs. I figured I could at least hide in Josh’s room until someone came looking for me.

I placed my hand on the doorknob, nervously pushing it open. I knew I shouldn’t be going in there. I’m pretty sure I lost that privilege a week ago, but it was the only place that I knew was a Lucy-Free Zone.

“Hiding from Lucy already?”

I jumped back, my heart racing as Josh spun around in his chair. It took a few moments to catch my breath. “I… Uh… I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have…”

He laughed. “It’s fine, Ellie. I was her target of choice before you showed up. A persistent little thing she is.”

I nodded, still finding it hard to breathe. I wasn’t sure why. I wasn’t nervous when I saw him at the bookstore, but maybe that was because we were out in public, and not in his room. Or maybe it was the fact that he was sitting in front of me in a plaid button-up, and he looked really good. Whatever it was, though, made it impossible for me to compose complete thoughts.

“You okay?” He asked, eyebrows raised.

I nodded out of habit, unsure of what to say. I mean, I guess I knew what I had to say. I knew I wouldn’t have a better opportunity than right now.

“Ellie…” He said slowly, standing up from his chair. “You look pale…er…than usual.”

He took a step toward me, and I felt my heart leap into my throat, my eyes wide like a deer in headlights. “I’m sorry.” I said quickly.

“About what?” He asked.

“Everything.” I took a deep breath, trying to organize my thoughts. “And I know that’s not what you want to hear, but it’s the truth.” I stammered. “I’m sorry, Josh. I’m sorry I didn’t trust you and I’m sorry I didn’t believe you.”

“Ellie—”

I cut him off as he took another step. “I’m afraid.” I told him. “I’m afraid to let myself be happy with you because I know you’re too good for me.” I wasn’t going to cry. That’s what I was telling myself. “Because you’re amazing, Josh. You’re everything a girl wants—you’re sweet, and you’re charming, and you make me laugh, and you’re not terrible to look at—and I don’t deserve that because I’ve been a complete bitch to you.”

“Ellie—”

“You deserve the world, Josh. You deserve someone better than me.”

I took a step back this time, trying to distance myself from, but as soon as I lifted my foot, he grabbed my hand. “No.” He said quickly. “I’m not letting you walk away.”

“You said the ball was in my court, Josh.”

“Yeah,” he nodded. “But I’m calling a time out.”

I wasn’t sure what he meant by a time out until he pressed his lips to mine, dropping my hand before wrapping his arms around my waist. Mindlessly, I brought my arms around his neck, letting myself melt into his kiss.

“I’ve been going crazy these past few days.” He said once he pulled his lips away, but not letting me go. “I wasn’t… I’m not sure what I was trying to prove at Trafalgar Square. I guess… I don’t know… I thought that if you thought I could walk away from this, you’d fight for it. But you’re standing here and you’re telling me that I deserve someone better and it’s fucking rubbish because there isn’t another person on this planet that has made me feel the way you do.”

I wasn’t sure what to say. I don’t think there was anything I could say that would top what he had just said, so I did the next best thing: I kissed him.

He pulled away after a few minutes, his forehead falling against mine as his thumb brushed over my lips. I smiled at him, the pieces of my heart slowing coming back together. It was that moment that I realized I could have never walked away from him.

“I know you’re afraid, Ellie.” He whispered. “I promise I won’t—”

“I know.” I whispered back. “I know, Josh.”

I was ready to stay in his room for the rest of the night, more than okay with watching the ball drop on the TV tucked into the corner by his dresser, but I felt his hands slide down my waist, his fingers lacing with mine. “We should go downstairs before everyone starts wondering where we disappeared to.”

I nodded as he led me out the door. I was still so lost in the haze his kiss left me in that I hadn’t realized what Josh and I coming down the stairs together and holding hands meant.

“OH MY GOD.” Lucy shrieked and I cringed. “OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. YOU GUYS MADE UP.”

“Lucy—” Josh groaned.

“DON’T DENY IT, JOSHY. THERE IS DEFINITE HAND-HOLDING GOING ON.”

I laughed, squeezing Josh’s hand tighter as Lucy waddled over to us, enveloping us together in her arms.

“This is the perfect way to start the New Year!”

I was just happy that Lydia cut her off before Lucy could rant anymore. “We’ve got twenty seconds!” She called over the noise in the room.

Lucy quickly scrambled back over to Max, plopping a purple hat over his head that read HAPPY NEW YEAR in shiny gold lettering. I laughed, turning back to Josh.

Ten…

Nine…

Eight…

“What’s got you so happy?” I asked looking up at him.

Seven…

Six…

Five…

“You.”

Four…

Three…

Two…

He kissed me, a second shy of the New Year and I knew that this was exactly the way I wanted to start it.

One…