Status: if you are reading this check out this acount. brittybopz. She is my editor
Do Not Read This!
Wow, you still didnt stop
“It has been 134 years, I am Satan’s son, and I am going to become Satan,” I repeated over and over again. Trust me, this was not how I excepted my Saturday to turn out. I thought I would just live a normal day like a normal 13 year old boy should, but what 13 year old boy spends his Saturdays on top of Mount Everest on a “date” with a girl from hell?
“Where the fuck did the demon- hobo John Lennon go?” I asked Jill in one breath, combining each word. Then I let out a titter at how funny my own voice sounded when I was nervous.
“YOU SHALL NOT ASK ME ANY QUESTIONS UNLESS I CHOOSE TO ANWSER THEM!” she screamed, her voice ringing in my head and making my throat curl. Yes, it was obvious she was Satan’s assistant.
“Uh, okay then, but can you please stop saying ‘shall?’” I snapped. “It sounds like some evil ritual or something.”
It was impossible to fear Jill, when all I really saw when I looked at her was a blonde hooker/ skank.
She apparently read my mind. All of a sudden, she turned into Hitler. And I’m not talking about a hologram. You could see the insaneness and evil in her/his eyes.
But, my friend, that’s not all. He/she was naked. You have probably seen many nasty things in your life, but trust me, this was not beautiful. I wouldn’t blame you if you closed this on your computer and found some other book to read, but don’t; then you’ll end up like Britney Spears.
Let me sum it up for you: it was hairy, but really hairy. I almost fainted of all the hair on his trill.
Anyways, Hitler started speaking (luckily in English). “I am Hitler, and Though shall fear me!” He screamed in a German accent. By the sight of him/her, my stomach began to churn and my pulse began to race as I felt my eggs and bacon begin to rise.
I still thought of him/her as a blond, hairy hooker, thought.
Finally, before I lost my breakfast, she turned back into her normal hooker form.
“Can I just ask you ONE question, please!” I begged.
She made a pouty face, which made me want to strangle her.
Instead, I got down on my knees and begged.
After a while I was finally able to convince her to let me ask a question.
“Okay, okay… so what exactly is that weird sacrifice thing I did?” I asked.
“ You mean the Kammatchidese sacrifice,” she replied in a raspy voice that reminded me of my grandmother. “The Kammatchidese is one of the most important sacrifices in all the universe. If you do it that means you are Satan’s son. It also means that the prophecy is about to be complete.
“We are making a journey to hell,” she continued. ”That is almost impossible and will take centuries before we reach it… if, of course, we don’t get sucked 2000 feet underground first. Once we make it we will foretell the prophecy. I’ll tell you more about it later.”
“Wait a minute, why can’t we just make one of those weird portal things I stuck Bob threw?” I asked.
“That would take a lot of time and effort. I made that one you used to sacrifice Bob in. It took thousands of years to make that.”
“Well, then why are we on the top of Mount Everest!” I screamed.
She shrugged “The scenery I guess.”
I felt like crying. I was about to when we heard a loud “THUMP” outside. Jill pushed me deeper into the cave, then went out to investigate.
After a while I heard Jill start laughing and screaming. I slowly went outside to investigate. A gasp escaped my throat as the scene poured through my head. What I was viewing was the most ugly thing I ever saw in my life.
It was a monster trapped in a human body. Its skin was so white it made computer paper seem gray. He was covered up in a huge black cloak, but it didn’t hide the red eyes and goatee. His hair was long, black and greasy; he even had a unibrow.
I vomited on my shirt.
He grinned when he saw me, revealing his needle teeth caked with plaque, blood, and saliva. In a flash he was on top of me, about to sink his teeth into my neck. Instantly I knew what he was.
He was a vampire. I thought about what I knew about them. They hated garlic, they hated holy objects, and they would die by sunlight. Thinking fast, I pulled out my cross necklace, the only thing I had to remember my mom by.
He froze. His eyes widened, and he began to howl like somebody was stabbing him in the back. He stammered and stuttered and shrieked in sorrow, until he stumbled off of me and sprinted into the cave.
“WHAT THE FUCK?” I cried. It was bad enough demons wore real, but vampires, too? I considered committing suicide, due to the position I was in.
Jill grinned; she was enjoying my misery. “ That was my brother, Jack.”
“ Wow, who’s your dad, a hill?” I said under my breath.
She ignored it and continued talking. “He will be helping us along are trip.”
“Great!” I exclaimed sarcastically. “Somebody who wants to drink my blood along the way, I’m charmed.”
She responded by warning me darkly, “He will if you don’t keep your sarcastic mouth shut.”
That made me keep quiet.
After a while, though, I couldn’t resist talking.“So, uh, when do we leave?”
“In 3 years. We must train, and prepare for the journey to hell. By the way, I got you something.”
She led me inside the cave where the psycho vampire was. Inside, there was some weird bike-like object, but it didn’t have any pedals.
“What the fuck is that?” I asked.
“It’s a motor cycle, we shall be making are journey on these. Welcome to 2011.”
“Where the fuck did the demon- hobo John Lennon go?” I asked Jill in one breath, combining each word. Then I let out a titter at how funny my own voice sounded when I was nervous.
“YOU SHALL NOT ASK ME ANY QUESTIONS UNLESS I CHOOSE TO ANWSER THEM!” she screamed, her voice ringing in my head and making my throat curl. Yes, it was obvious she was Satan’s assistant.
“Uh, okay then, but can you please stop saying ‘shall?’” I snapped. “It sounds like some evil ritual or something.”
It was impossible to fear Jill, when all I really saw when I looked at her was a blonde hooker/ skank.
She apparently read my mind. All of a sudden, she turned into Hitler. And I’m not talking about a hologram. You could see the insaneness and evil in her/his eyes.
But, my friend, that’s not all. He/she was naked. You have probably seen many nasty things in your life, but trust me, this was not beautiful. I wouldn’t blame you if you closed this on your computer and found some other book to read, but don’t; then you’ll end up like Britney Spears.
Let me sum it up for you: it was hairy, but really hairy. I almost fainted of all the hair on his trill.
Anyways, Hitler started speaking (luckily in English). “I am Hitler, and Though shall fear me!” He screamed in a German accent. By the sight of him/her, my stomach began to churn and my pulse began to race as I felt my eggs and bacon begin to rise.
I still thought of him/her as a blond, hairy hooker, thought.
Finally, before I lost my breakfast, she turned back into her normal hooker form.
“Can I just ask you ONE question, please!” I begged.
She made a pouty face, which made me want to strangle her.
Instead, I got down on my knees and begged.
After a while I was finally able to convince her to let me ask a question.
“Okay, okay… so what exactly is that weird sacrifice thing I did?” I asked.
“ You mean the Kammatchidese sacrifice,” she replied in a raspy voice that reminded me of my grandmother. “The Kammatchidese is one of the most important sacrifices in all the universe. If you do it that means you are Satan’s son. It also means that the prophecy is about to be complete.
“We are making a journey to hell,” she continued. ”That is almost impossible and will take centuries before we reach it… if, of course, we don’t get sucked 2000 feet underground first. Once we make it we will foretell the prophecy. I’ll tell you more about it later.”
“Wait a minute, why can’t we just make one of those weird portal things I stuck Bob threw?” I asked.
“That would take a lot of time and effort. I made that one you used to sacrifice Bob in. It took thousands of years to make that.”
“Well, then why are we on the top of Mount Everest!” I screamed.
She shrugged “The scenery I guess.”
I felt like crying. I was about to when we heard a loud “THUMP” outside. Jill pushed me deeper into the cave, then went out to investigate.
After a while I heard Jill start laughing and screaming. I slowly went outside to investigate. A gasp escaped my throat as the scene poured through my head. What I was viewing was the most ugly thing I ever saw in my life.
It was a monster trapped in a human body. Its skin was so white it made computer paper seem gray. He was covered up in a huge black cloak, but it didn’t hide the red eyes and goatee. His hair was long, black and greasy; he even had a unibrow.
I vomited on my shirt.
He grinned when he saw me, revealing his needle teeth caked with plaque, blood, and saliva. In a flash he was on top of me, about to sink his teeth into my neck. Instantly I knew what he was.
He was a vampire. I thought about what I knew about them. They hated garlic, they hated holy objects, and they would die by sunlight. Thinking fast, I pulled out my cross necklace, the only thing I had to remember my mom by.
He froze. His eyes widened, and he began to howl like somebody was stabbing him in the back. He stammered and stuttered and shrieked in sorrow, until he stumbled off of me and sprinted into the cave.
“WHAT THE FUCK?” I cried. It was bad enough demons wore real, but vampires, too? I considered committing suicide, due to the position I was in.
Jill grinned; she was enjoying my misery. “ That was my brother, Jack.”
“ Wow, who’s your dad, a hill?” I said under my breath.
She ignored it and continued talking. “He will be helping us along are trip.”
“Great!” I exclaimed sarcastically. “Somebody who wants to drink my blood along the way, I’m charmed.”
She responded by warning me darkly, “He will if you don’t keep your sarcastic mouth shut.”
That made me keep quiet.
After a while, though, I couldn’t resist talking.“So, uh, when do we leave?”
“In 3 years. We must train, and prepare for the journey to hell. By the way, I got you something.”
She led me inside the cave where the psycho vampire was. Inside, there was some weird bike-like object, but it didn’t have any pedals.
“What the fuck is that?” I asked.
“It’s a motor cycle, we shall be making are journey on these. Welcome to 2011.”