Don't look back!

“Alright, Ditto. Transform for me, baby!” I exclaimed energetically, standing up.

Previously, I had been kneeling in front of my Ditto – whispering secretly to it.

In response to my command, Ditto nodded as its body began to contort into its desired shape.

From its body, ears and a bolt shaped tail sprung forth followed by other defining features.

“W-What the—…?” Ash began, narrowing his eyes at my choice of transformation.

“Diiiiito ~!” My Ditto shouted, sparks flying from its little cheeks.

“PIKA PI!” Ash’s Pikachu exclaimed taking a threatening step forward.

“Delaney – why in the heck would you have Ditto transform into a Pikachu?!” Ash cried incredulously, a stupid look on his face.

Resisting the urge to laugh sinisterly, I shrugged.

“I do like Pikachus ~” I admitted, smiling impishly like a Haunter or maybe even a Gengar.

I swear that Ash’s jaw nearly hit the floor at this.

“B-BUT! You keep calling Pikachu a little rat and a beast and--!” Ash all but sputtered, grinding his teeth in irritation.

“I just don’t like your Pikachu – it’s a rat.” I clarified.

At this, May snorted probably not realizing how cool my insults were.

Ash was still at a loss for words as he attempted to string a proper come-back together.

“And anyway . . .” I began, placing my hands on my hips.

“Have you ever thought how cute the name Pikachu is? It’s basically Sparklekiss! And as a result, your rat is not cool enough to be labeled as such ~”

I stated causing several sweat-drops to form on Ash’s band of wackos along with an immediate glare from Ash and his partner.

“Actually – it’s supposed to be Sparkle*mouse sound*, isn’t it?” He Who Never Blinks corrected, his left eyebrow slightly twitching.

I noted that this facial action finally gave his ugly mug some diversity, hallelu~uujah!

“That doesn’t matter! What’s important is that it’s useless to choose a Pikachu when the very same Pokémon is your opponent!” Max shouted, tossing his hands up in the air.

It was silent for a minute as my Ditto and I could only blink.

“Ah, you think so? Because – in my opinion it equals the perfect revenge!” I insisted seriously as I made quite the intimidating expression.

Or at least I thought it was intimidating – yet Ash’s Pikachu merely mushroom sighed.

“Yeah, that’s right! Take that – little rat!” I scowled, pointing a finger in the little beast’s direction.

“Can you guys get this over with . . .?” May finally inquired, resting her chin in the palm of her white gloved hand.

I was about to say, “CAN YOUR MOM?” but thought better of it. Honestly I’m not that immature . . .

“Right! LET’S DO THIS!” Ash exclaimed, his eyes alight with excitement.

Suddenly He Who Never Blinks stepped in between of my Ditto and Ash’s rat.

“I’ll referee. Alright you guys, this will be a one on one Pokémon battle between Ash and Delaney ~” He began in a rather declarative tone.

“When the opponent’s Pokémon is KOed the match will be over, now – BEGIN!”

“PIKACHU USE THUNDERBOLT!” Ash exclaimed almost immediately as his little rat leapt forward preparing to do to my Ditto what it had previously done to me.

“Oh no you don’t, beast!” I roared, narrowing my eyes.

This only seemed to infuriate the creature even further however as it sent a bout a zillion tons of pure electricity my poor Ditto’s way.

“Ditto! Dodge! Use uh – Iron Tail?” I suggested, not entirely familiar with a Pikachu’s attacks.

“DITTO!” It replied before following my commands.

Its synthetic Pikachu shoulder was grazed with the rat’s thunderbolt, but it survived.

His tale glowed bright silver before he leapt forward, iron tailing the rat in the face.

“Pikachu!” Ash cried, clearly worried for his partner.

“LITTLE RAT!” I mocked and surprisingly this caused He Who Never Blinks to chuckle lowly.

“Why you . . .” Ash growled, clenching his fists.

“PIKACHU, USE QUICK ATTACK!” Ash ordered as the rat, after rubbing its cheek dare I say – cutely – with its yellow paw, braced itself before rapidly springing forward.

I was pretty damn sure that a quick attack was not something my Ditto would be able to dodge.

So – “DITTO! TAKE IT LIKE A MAN!” I announced causing Ash’s eye to twitch.

Even if this was a careless, risky move . . . well, Ditto is a good little boy, erm girl?

Does it have a gender at all? I don’t think there’s a difference between Jello genders, anyway . . .

“D-Ditto . . .” Ditto flinched, but withstood the quick attack never the less.

“Good job Pikachu now – ” Ash began, encouraging the rat for hurting my partner.

“You know what?” I murmured, pursing my lips.

“Huh?” Ash inquired upon my interrupting of his command.

“To better own your rat – DITTO! TRANSFORM INTO RAICHU!”

I proclaimed and before Ash could even register what happened, Ditto had changed.

“Another electric type?” Max guessed, slightly agitated.

He Who Never Blinks turned to him, nodding.

“That’s not just any electric type, Max. That’s Pikachu’s evolved form.”

He informed causing Max and May to openly gape.

“No way ~” Max exclaimed in awe like he was watching an action-adventure movie.

He Who Never Blinks merely nodded again.

“Yeah, but that’s strange. Ditto usually have trouble transforming perfectly from memory.” He muttered, catching my attention.

This of course made me proud.

“That’s because my DITTO is the superior blob ~” I bragged, giving Ditto a thumbs up whilst I admired his perfect Raichu replication.

It was weird – but I already felt attached to the little jello cup. >_> ♥

While I was distracted, Ashy-poo decided to take advantage.

“Hurry Pikachu! Use iron tail!” Ash bellowed causing me to blink in surprise.

“How rude! Do you always wait for cute little girls to get distracted? What a jerk!” I accused and my Ditto had enough common sense to try to avoid the rat and its attack.

“MAYBE YOU SHOULDN’T GET DISTRACTED THEM!” Ash bit back.

“I WOULDN’T GET DISTRACTED IF YOU WEREN’T SO PRETTY!” I retorted angrily.

.

.

.

“Erm – where did that come from . . .?”

I muttered before whistling nonchalantly.

Iron Tail made contact with my Ditto’s face as Ash’s eyebrow rose so high it disappeared beneath the brim of his cap.

“Did she call him pretty . . .again?” May inquired, slightly unsure.

“I think . . .” Max paused to readjust his glasses. “She did.”

No sooner had she said this, did He Who Never Blinks go bonkers.

“WHY IS IT ALWAYS SOMEONE ELSE WHO GETS THE GIRL? WHY NOT ME? I’M HANDSOME! I’M A BURNING ROMANTIC – SEARCHING FOR LOVE—”

He rambled, tears springing from his eyes – er rectangular lines.

It wasn’t long before Max reached forward, tugging on his ear quite painfully.

“That’s enough, Romeo ~” Max muttered dryly.

I couldn’t help but giggle awkwardly at this.

Did I say Addams family earlier?

I meant, circus!

Geez, they’re more eccentric than a Pokémaniac.

“FOCUS ON THE BATTLE, DELANEY!” Ash called suddenly causing me to sigh in relief. Thankfully he had forgotten my exaggerated – accidental comment.

“Do you order your momma around with that mouth?” I questioned, taken aback by his constant orders and rude exclamations.

I mean honestly, holy Miltanks.

“Just – Just keep battling ~” He ordered flatly with a wave of his hand.

“Oooookay.” I agreed reluctantly, my gaze returning to my Pokémon.

“You know what, Ditto? This is getting pretty lame, so uh – transform into a Geodude?”

I offered as my Ditto sighed.

“You know, transforming does take up a lot of energy . . .” He Who Never Blinks stated although he did manage to make a small murmur of approval at Ditto’s latest transformation.

At his statement, my attention was solely on the heavily breathing and otherwise heavily exhausted Geodude before me.

“You gonna be alright, dude?” I questioned, concerned for its well-being.

“DITTO!” It blared, seeming quite determined.

“Good deal – now use, wait–” I paused, trying to remember any sort of Geodude attack.

“ROCK THROW?” Max ventured, looking utterly exasperated.

His never-ending knowledge was convenient for me, however ~

“DITTO USE ROCK THROW!” I commanded.

Much to my amusement Ditto began pelting the rat with rocks that literally appeared out of nowhere.

“Pi-Pika!” Ash’s Pikachu muttered getting hit in its tiny little nose.

“Ah, Pikachu ~ we’re at a disadvantage . . .” Ash finally noticed, much to my chagrin.

“Then – I guess we’ll just have to do something extra special for Ditto . . .” He added, a cute smirk lighting up his entire face.

“Like what? Bow down and kiss its pebbly butt?” I taunted, mimicking his smirk.

“No, Pikachu – tickle Ditto!” Ash ordered out of the blue as I blinked.

“Tickle . . .? Is that even an attack?” I inquired not sure where he was going with this.

In awe at this sudden turn of events I watched as the rat actually tickled my partner causing it to let out a bunch of inhuman laughter.

“Di—DITTO-DI-DI-DI-DI!” It giggled as its body suddenly began to flutter.

“That’s really an attack? What’s it do?” I asked, wondering if it was some ultra rare body changing attack.

Suddenly, Ditto reverted back to its original form.

“Ash and I have learned throughout our travels together that Dittos can’t maintain enough concentration to keep their transformation in tact when they laugh.” He Who Never Blinks revealed causing my jaw to hit the floor.

“Are you kidding me?” I cried as Ditto’s laughter died down.

That’s the biggest fail ever, right there.

Ditto turned to me, probably feeling ashamed of its actions.

“Di . . .?” It drawled out tentatively.

“Well – whilst this is the lamest thing to probably ever come out of my mouth, if that’s the case . . .” I began, pausing to swallow my despicable feelings.

“Ditto and I wholeheartedly forfeit.” I announced causing Ash to nearly trip over his own two feet.

“…to?” Ditto murmured, looking saddened at my statement.

“Well then . . .” He Who Never Blinks began, seeming quite shocked.

“I guess – the victor is Ash!” He exclaimed, hardly as enthusiastic as he should have been.

Rather than any sort of victory match, Ash merely scowled.

“That wasn’t a very good match ~”

. . . SAY WHAT?!

Ah, what the hell. I can let one little immature comment slip, if he’s going to be a sour-puss about everything . . .

I cracked a smile.

“That’s what she said ~”