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Blinded

Shadow

I tapped my foot as I waited for the cashier to tell me to slide my card. I bought new shoes for my bridesmaid dress. My eldest sister, Jackie was getting married. I couldn't wait for the whole ordeal to finish. The whole city was talking about it, the New York bred actress marrying a quiet outsider, the prefect love story, urg.

The groom was a vet. He was nice and funny and I could see why Jackie liked him. They were perfect for each other. My mom was happy with their wedding, of course she approved everything Jackie did. Although it was a crazy time for all of us, everyone was stressed and tired. Getting attention was easy for Jacqueline, Jackie's real name, she was smart, pretty and always in the news for her 'humanitarian work' or her next movie. She was stunningly beautiful and a great actress. And everyone else always found a way to be in her shadow. I was an expert at it.

"Slide your card, Miss Clare." The blonde cashier said, all too happy. I obeyed and as she put my things in a bag as she talked. "I loved you in Vogue's spring catalog. I smirked, "Thanks! That's really sweet of you." I said, sincerely meaning it. She smiled as she handed me my new shoes. "No problem!"

My younger sister, Madeline was only 18 and still in law school. She was the serious one, always consumed in her work and was never in the family drama. A quality that I liked about her. She was shy and insecure, although everyone knew that her dark hair and round face was absolutely gorgeous. I always worried for her, she always found a way to date the wrong guys. Her last boyfriend was such an ass. He didn't care about her, everyone saw that. They dated on and off, always breaking up and getting back together through text messages. She was still a naive 18 year old.

I stepped out of the store and started walking to the closest Starbucks. My blackberry ringed and I answered without checking the caller ID. "Hello?" I said. "Hey Jaz, were having a last minute dinner in about an hour. The whole family." My dad's secretary informed. "I'm not going to be able to make it...." I started. But the 20-something woman on the other line stopped me, "Jaz, your father said it was extremely important for you to attend." This time I cut her off, " Listen. I have a rehearsal runway show tonight that I cannot cancel. Okay? It's not my fault if everyone in my bone-headed family forgot that next week is Dubai fashion week and I'm flying there tomorrow night. Jackie's wedding isn't for another 3 weeks. So just shut up. Call me again and I'll ensure you get fired. Damn." I hung up before she could say anything else.

I was fuming. Nothing that was important to me mattered. It was always Jackie. Jackie. Jackie. Madeline. Madeline. Madeline. I was always in the middle. Nothing I did or said mattered.

My parents always saw me as the daughter that turned-out-to-be-a-model-instead-of-a-doctor-or-lawyer. I walked into Starbucks and found a seat. I fidgeted with my phone and found myself texting Jillian another model that I met in Paris for a show. Ever since then she had been my closest friend. Probably the only person I could really relate to.

-hey jilly, wanna hang out later

As I waited for her reply I ordered a Frappé and sipped on it. Enjoying the silence. As loud as crazy as my life was, the traveling, the press, the people. The humming of the coffee machine calmed me. It was strange that I loved this Starbucks. I had been coming here to calm down ever since I was 13. The seems so long ago..

My serenity was interrupted, as always but my blackberry. I picked it up off the table, it was Jilly.

-sure. are you okay? i'll meet you at your apartment.

I smiled as I read it. Jillian was the best. Only a true friend would know your exactly through a text.

-thanks, love. yeah Jill. i'll be there in 10?

She responded with a quick,
-kk. <3

I stood up, leaving my empty cup on the table with the money and a tip. I walked out, eager to explain everything to Jill.
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