Death is Black and White

I'm not really sure what to expect when I knock on the door. I've decide that the only way I'll get my mom to believe I'm back to normal is to act like this program was the best thing since sliced bread. I'm surprised to find that I almost feel sorry for her; she honestly thinks that I cut myself. She's batshit crazy, if you ask me, but I don't see a bright future for myself if I keep arguing with her. 

The door swings open and I'm standing face-to-face with my mother for the first time in ages. Her hair is a little bit grayer and there are slightly darker circles under her eyes, but otherwise she looks the same. 

"Hi, sweetie," she says. She smiles and hugs me, then takes my bags. 

"SURPRISE!" Sam and Josh yell from the living room, where there are streamers all over the room and a pizza on the table. 

Sam attacks me with a huge hug and starts babbling on and on about how much she missed me until Josh has to pull her away so I can breathe. My mom sits down with us at the table and we eat pizza while I come up with a huge lie about how much the hospital has helped me, blah, blah, blah. It's all very heartwarming. 

We watch Blaire Witch Project after dinner, all squished on the couch while my mom frantically goes to wash all of my clothes and put them away in my room. I think she knows that if she doesn't, it'll never get done.

"This movie is so cheesy," I comment. 

"Hey, it's a classic, my friend!" Sam protests. 

"It's not even scary," I say. "Like, cool. There's sticks hanging from the trees. I'm gonna go shit myself now." 

"You're saying that wouldn't creep you out?" Josh asks. 

I shrug. "Well, yeah, it's creepy. But it's not scary." 

Sam throws a pillow at me. "Yes it is, now shut up! I can't hear the movie." 

I laugh and stand up. "Does anyone want popcorn?" 

They nod. "Do you have any more Pepsi?" Josh asks. 

"I can check," I reply, but Josh gets up anyway.

"Do you guys want me to pause the movie?" Sam asks, smirking. 

I ignore her and keep walking. I take out two bags of popcorn and set the first one in the microwave. "So, the hospital was really that great?" Josh asks while pouring himself some Pepsi. "I didn't get that impression from you last week." 

I shrug. "I figured my mom deserves some closure. She obviously doesn't believe that I was possessed. She just thinks I'm hormonally imbalanced."

"Well you're more forgiving than I am," he states plainly. 

"Oh, it's not forgiveness, I'm just sick of fighting her. I think that if I tell her what she wants to hear, she'll leave me alone about it. She's not very good at addressing my problems. She freaks out and sends me to hospitals," I joke. 

He laughs and the microwave beeps. I take out the popcorn and put in the second bag.

"So, um, I was wondering," Josh says. "Would you maybe want to hang out some time?" 

I smile. "Aren't we hanging out now?" 

"Well, yeah," he agrees, laughing. "But maybe, like, just you and me." 

My stomach twists and I smile even wider. "Oh, yeah," I say, trying (and failing) to sound nonchalant. "That'd be fun!"

"Cool," he says. "How about Friday night? We could go see that new scary movie?" 

I laugh and shake my head. "My life is practically a scary movie right now. How about a comedy?" 

"Sounds good," he agrees and we take the popcorn out to Sam. 

There are butterflies in my stomach for the rest of the night. "Well," Sam says around ten o'clock, "I don't know about you guys, but I have school in the morning. We should probably get going." 

"Well look at you," I joke. "You're so responsible. I guess you're right, though. I'll see you guys at school, then?" 

"You bet!" Sam says on her way out. 

"Bye, Lyd," Josh says and follows behind Sam. 

"Bye," I reply as I close the door. 

As soon as they're gone, I run into my room and dive onto my bed. My mom's still on the floor, reorganizing my drawers, and gives me a weird look. 

"What's that all about?" she asks. 

I smile and gaze up at the ceiling. "Oh, nothing," I say sweetly. "I'm just glad to be home"

~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~

The next couple of days go by as a blur. Fortunately, my mom is completely buying the changed-daughter act, and things are slowly shifting back to normal. Well, as normal as things will ever get. 

Sam is freaking out that I have a date with Josh and insists on coming home with me after school on Friday to help me get ready. And by "help me get ready", I get the feeling she means "play extreme makeover". Which is a joy. 

A surprising amount of people at school notice that I'm back, and only a handful of them treat me like a freak. There's actually a bunch of people that I've never really talked to much, yet they suddenly find me extremely interesting. They're a bunch of gossips, and it get annoying when they ask me all these questions. I usually take the sarcastic route and confirm all the mental hospital cliches, which freaks them out. It's actually really entertaining.

Miranda's baby is due any day now, and she's so huge she won't even get up off the couch other than to pee. She's says the baby's a girl, and her name's going to be Abby. My sister seems genuinely happy in her apartment, and it turns out that one of the main reasons she moved out was because she and mom got in a fight about Lotty. 

I guess Miranda got really mad that mom didn't believe me about Lotty, and then Mom freaked out on her, too. They haven't talked since. 

I haven't heard from Lotty all week, and for a while I wonder if maybe she's gone for good. But part of me knows she's not. Sometimes I think I see glimpses of her in my mirror, hear snippets of her raspy whisper in the back of my mind, and occasionally have dreams of the children she murdered. Sometimes they're from her point of view, sometimes I'm just a bystander. 

Part of me wonders if Lotty will ever leave me alone.