Remembering Sunday

It was a calm, quiet field, filled with flowers. Evangeline ran through it wearing a white, flowy dress, her strawberry blonde hair flowing behind her. Behind her, Alex Gaskarth was running his heart out, trying to keep up with her. But the faster he ran, it seemed, the slower he seemed to be moving. It felt as though he were running through a pool of water, barely able to move his legs. Evangeline looked back at Alex, the faint hint of a smirk on her face, one that read, “You’ll never catch me.”

Alex woke up, his heart pounding. It was all a dream. It wasn’t real. At least, that was what he wanted to believe.

He pushed his covers off and made his way to his bedroom window and stared out into the cold winter night. He watched as the snow fell silently on the ground out in front of his house. As much as it had snowed in the past few days, it still wasn’t enough to cover the tracks she had made when she left. They would always be visible in Alex’s mind. Alex pressed his forehead against the cool glass of the window and sighed.

He needed to clear his mind, he thought as he glanced at the clock. So what if it was two in the morning?

Alex put his shoes on, located a jacket, and walked out into the night, still dressed in yesterday’s clothes. Not knowing where he was headed, he wandered around aimlessly before deciding on a destination; the home of Jack Barakat.

“What the fuckkkk?” Jack said as he answered the door. He was annoyed at being woken up in the middle of the night.

“Sorry,” Alex apologized. “I just didn’t know where else to go.”

Jack sighed and moved out of the doorway to allow Alex to step in.

Alex walked across Jack’s family room and plopped down on the couch. Jack followed close behind, but sat down in the chair facing Alex.

“This is about Evangeline, isn’t it?” Jack asked. When he got no response from Alex, he sighed again. He hated seeing his best friend in so much pain.

“I had another dream about her,” Alex said quietly. “Well, it’s the same one I’ve been having.”

“The one where you’re in the field?” Jack asked.

Alex nodded. “Yeah.”

The two were silent for a moment.

“Hey, you wanna go somewhere?” Jack asked. “Now that you’ve woke me up, I have a strange craving.”

“For what?” Alex asked.

“A whale penis,” Jack replied, trying to get Alex to crack a smile. But when Alex sat stone-faced, Jack added, “I meant a hamburger. Sorry, that was a stupid joke.”

Jack went off, grabbed his coat, and joined Alex in his walking around aimlessly. The least he could do was give the guy some company in his loneliness.

The farther the two walked, the more Alex though about Evangeline. She was a unique person with a good heart. She loved photography and she had an eye for the beauty in all of the simplest things in life. She was the most important person in Alex’s life. And now she was gone.

After walking around for about an hour, Jack got hungry and demanded that they finally stop off somewhere for something to eat. So they walked to the closest open place that Jack could get a hamburger, which was an all-night bar and grill. They got a booth, and Jack ordered his hamburger. Alex was in too much pain to eat, so he told Jack he had to go to the bathroom and would be back momentarily.

Along the way to the bathroom, Alex stumbled across the bar section of the restaurant. Without thinking, he walked across the beverage stained floor and took a seat at the bar and ordered a shot of whiskey. One led to two, and two led to three.

“Dude, what the hell?” Jack asked, sitting down next to Alex about forty five minutes later. “If you’re gonna drink, drink with me, damnit.”

Alex let out a small laugh. It felt like the first time he’d laughed in years, even though it had only been a few weeks.

“That’s my Alex,” Jack said, slapping him on the back. The guys ordered a few more drinks and then left for home. Along the way, Alex began to feel overwhelmingly dizzy. He stumbled, took a wrong step, and fell, hitting his head on the pavement.

”I’m Evangeline,” she smiled, extending her hand out to Alex.

“I’m Alex Gaskarth,” he replied, shaking her hand.

Evangeline smiled brilliantly. God, she was beautiful. “Yeah, I know who you are.”

Alex pointed to the seat across from him. “You wanna sit down?”

“Sure,” Evangeline said.

In that small corner café, Alex and Evangeline talked about anything and everything, finding an instant connection with each other.

“Alex!” Jack screamed in his ear. “Dude! Wake the fuck up!”

Alex groaned, and put a hand to his head due to the pain of falling and the oddness of the flashback he’d just had. “Stop screaming in my ear, you ass.”

“He lives!” Jack said, and grabbed Alex’s other hand, yanking him up. “That was some fall you took there, dude.”

“Yeah, I guess so,” Alex said. That had been the first time that Alex had been able to think about Evangeline and not imagine her leaving. Maybe it was the booze and maybe it was the ease of Jack’s presence that caused it. “Hey, is it cool if I crash at your place tonight?”

“Yeah,” Jack said. “I don’t want you walking home if you’re just gonna stumble around like a little bitch. You never could hold your liquor.”

Alex laughed. “I guess so.”

The two walked home, and Alex took up residence on Jack’s sofa.

“Just don’t piss your pants while you’re sleeping, and everything’ll be cool,” Jack said. “And don’t vomit on my carpet. Rian did that last week.”

“Explains the smell,” Alex joked. “Or maybe it’s just you.”

“Ha-ha,” Jack fake-laughed, even though he was happy that his friend seemed to be doing at least a little bit better. “I’ll see you in the morning. Or afternoon. Whichever.”

After Jack went upstairs, Alex got comfy on Jack’s couch and closed his eyes.

It was like a montage.

Her leading him up the stairs.

The two of them laughing.

The two of them kissing in the rain.

The two of them arguing.

The two of them making up.

The two of them goofing around.

All of the good times and all of the bad.

And then there was the one scene at the end. The scene where Alex had said he loved her. The same scene that Evangeline admitted that she didn’t believe in love.

About a week after that she left. He should have tried to make her stay. He should have tried harder.

“Rise and shine, Sleeping Beauty,” Jack said, tweaking Alex’s head.

He woke up with a start. “See, now why do you have to be a dick?”

“Because mine’s bigger than yours,” Jack quipped without missing about. “How’d you sleep?”

“…All right, I guess,” Alex replied.

“Any dreams?” Jack edged.

“Yeah, but not the same one,” Alex said. “It felt like an epiphany, kind of.”

“In what way?” Jack asked, cocking an eyebrow.

“I have to go out and find her,” Alex stated.

Jack gave his friend a weary look. “I don’t think that’s such a good idea.”

“Why not?” Alex demanded.

Before Jack could reply, Alex leapt to his feet and made his way for the door. “You know what? I don’t care what you say. I’m going to look for her.”

Alex had no idea where to start, but after weighing the options, he started with her old neighbors. He knocked on all of their doors and asked if they had seen Evangeline. They all replied that they hadn’t, and Alex began to grow desperate. He was soon asking any person he could find if they had seen her, and at the end of the day, he returned to Jack’s empty handed.

“Didn’t find her, huh?” Jack asked.

“No,” Alex said dejectedly.

“Didn’t think you were going to,” Jack said simply.

“You know, some confidence from my supposed best friend would be nice,” Alex snapped.

Jack sighed and climbed the stairs to his room, grabbed an envelope off of his dresser drawer, and brought it back down to Alex.

“She told me to give this to you when I thought you were ready…” Jack trailed off.

Alex didn’t even think to be angry at Jack for holding out on him. He tore the envelope open with such quickness, he would have made a racehorse look like a turtle.

Dear Alex,

I’m not coming back. I’ve done something so terrible, I’m terrified to speak, but you’d expect that from me. I’m mixed up, I’ll be blunt, now the rain is just washing you out of my hair and out my mind. Keeping an eye on the world, with so many thousands of feet off the ground. I’m over you now, I’m at home in the clouds, towering over your head.

Love,
Evangeline

Alex set the letter down on Jack’s coffee table and said nothing.

“Can I read it?” Jack asked.

Alex nodded silently.

Jack read the letter over quickly. “So she left you because she loved you?”

Alex nodded again.

“Well, what the fuck?” Jack asked. “That doesn’t make any sense.”

“It doesn’t have to,” Alex said, taking the letter back from Jack. “I think I’m gonna head home, Jack. Thanks.”

“Sure thing,” Jack said, confused.

As Alex began his walk home, he thought to himself, maybe she was right. Maybe there is no such thing as love.