Sense of A Spark

I stared at him, the boy who broke my heart. I closed my eyes, trying to keep the tears from pouring out. "Fine," I said, anger and pain filling my voice. Chase came closer, making me take a step back. "Keep you distance. What you say -- and if I believe it -- will decide if you can come any closer." I sounded so unlike myself, it scared me. As much as I wanted to just pull Chase closer and let this whole thing pass by, but I was too hurt by what I witnessed to do so.

He took a few deep breaths before looking at me, his eyes scared -- hurt. "I didn't kiss him. He kissed me. I wasn't expecting him to do that. I've known him for years and he's never shown any sign of attraction to me -- or at least none that I noticed." He paused for a moment, letting it sink it. I wasn't sure if I believed him or not. He didn't look as he enjoyed kissing Michael, just stood there -- frozen. "Mr. Valeno, please? I fell in love with you and my heart still belongs to you -- if you want it. I didn't mean to hurt you. I never would do something like that on purpose. I still love you."

I looked at him and felt my heart clench in sorrow. Damn, I still loved this boy more than anything, but that doesn't change what happened. "Give me some time, Chase. For now, the plan is postponed. I need to get my mind clear and think stuff over. I'm sorry, Chase." At that, I grabbed my coat and bag, pulling my keys out of my pocket.

"Dean ... please," he whispered, his face buried beneath his black hair. I paused, looked at him and sighed. I walked over to him and kissed his head. "I don't want to lose you ... I can't lose you."

I walked off, heading down the hall, the stairs, to the back of the school. I paused to look out the window, seeing the rain fall like mad. Not wanting to have Chase walk home in that -- and possibly have him get hurt in anyway -- I headed back to my room.

I walked into the room and saw Chase's bag on the floor and him standing in a window -- which just happened to be open. Dropping my stuff, I jogged over to him. "Chase, come down," I said, my voice urgent -- freaked. He turned to look at me and my heart shattered. His eyes were so sad -- he was giving up on everything. "Please ... please ... dear god, just get down."

"Why?" his replied, his voice blank of any emotion. "Not like you care anymore."

"Bullshit!" I screamed, causing him to flinch a little bit. "If I didn't care, I wouldn't have come back to take you home. If I didn't care, I wouldn't be here to try and stop you from doing this! Goddamn it, Chase. I fucking love you!"

"You mean that?" he asked, his voice cracking a little. I closed my eyes for a moment, happy that I got through to him, even if just a little.

"You have no idea. I shouldn't let what happened get between us like this," I said, looking up to meet his gaze, my eyes watering at the thought of possibly losing Chase. "Please, come down. Let's get out of this place."

He turned ... and lost his balance. Instead of trying to grab the window, his arms flailed. "Dean... DEAN!" he screamed, kicking me into motion. I stood on the window sill and reached, grabbing his arm ... just as he fell. "Dean..."

"Don't worry, I got you. Just hang on!" I screamed, keeping my gaze locked on him.