Sequel: Brand New Start ›
Sense of A Spark
Dean -Point of View-
I stared at him for a long while, considering his words. Don't get me wrong, I would love to spend the rest of my life -- happily married -- to this young man sitting next to me. Chase was perfect in every way possible. He was sweet, gentle, caring, lovable.
"Chase..." I whispered, pushing his hair away from his face, studying his beautiful face. He looked up at me, those green eyes so mesmerizing. "I would love that, I really would." His face fell a little bit, his eyes looked like they were about to start watering.
"But...?" he prompted, looking down. I looked at him a little bit longer, trying to find my voice and phrase it so it wouldn't sound too harsh.
"But ... we've only been together a few short months," I said, barely over a whisper. I didn't want him to hurt, physically or emotionally, but this is how I felt, and he deserved to know. "I don't want us to rush into something and end up regretting it later."
"I can promise you, I would never regret saying 'I do' to you," he said, getting up and walking out the back door, the door slamming behind him. I ran my hand through my hair, staring forward. Getting up, I went out the back door, finding him leaning against the banister, staring into the woods. "What made you think I might regret marrying you?" he asked, his voice emotionless. Chase didn't look at me, just remained looking forward.
"I didn't think you would regret it. I just don't want to rush into something until we're completely sure about this," I said, sitting down on the steps. "I'll admit it, I do see myself standing at the alter exchanging vows with you, just not real soon."
I noticed he glanced down at me, his face like a blank canvas, waiting to be painted on. "What's the point of waiting? We're both adults here. There's no one to stop us, we're in love. I don't see why we shouldn't jump right on this," he said, his voice still emotionless, though I did sense a bit of anger in the depths of his flat tone.
Standing up, I walked over to him, grabbed his arms, and pushed him to the side of the house. "Damn it, Chase. Are you that thick-headed?" I said, my anger surging right through me. "You know I love you. You know I'd do anything for you. Why can't you understand that I want to make sure it's the right time for it before doing anything."
I let go of him and walked inside, grabbing my jacket and keys, not sure where I was going to go or what I was doing. I just needed to get some fresh air and have some time to think. "Where are you going?" I heard Chase ask, his voice right behind me. I stopped and turned around to face him. I saw the hurt in his eyes and wanted to take back all of what I just told him, but I couldn't find myself to say it.
"I've got to be alone right now, Chase," I said bluntly, looking away and then letting out a deep sigh. "We'll talk when I get back. But right now I need my space." At that, I turned back around and walked right out the door, not listening to the young man who was obviously begging me to stay.
Time Elapse
I stared at the water in which Chase and I had been swimming in earlier, listening to the waves. The night animals were going about their business as I stood there, not sure what to think.
For the briefest moment, I wished that Chase never entered my life. But I threw it away just as quick as it came. I loved him, more than I loved anything in my life. It's just that at the moment, he irritated me. I thought he'd understand that I didn't want to rush things, but he was so pumped that we could just go off and get married that his mind was clouded to understand.
I sat down, my legs dangling over the edge of the cliff. I continued to stare out into the vast darkness, listening to the waves crash against the shore below. It was peaceful, it was calming.
As I sat there, the slight inkling that something wrong was happening stung the depths of my soul. It was as if this happened to tell my that Chase was in trouble. Blinking, I stood up and walked over to the car, only to get a full blast of fear -- of anxiety -- thrown at me. It hit me so hard that I fell to my knees, nearly passing out.
"Chase..." I whispered, pushing his hair away from his face, studying his beautiful face. He looked up at me, those green eyes so mesmerizing. "I would love that, I really would." His face fell a little bit, his eyes looked like they were about to start watering.
"But...?" he prompted, looking down. I looked at him a little bit longer, trying to find my voice and phrase it so it wouldn't sound too harsh.
"But ... we've only been together a few short months," I said, barely over a whisper. I didn't want him to hurt, physically or emotionally, but this is how I felt, and he deserved to know. "I don't want us to rush into something and end up regretting it later."
"I can promise you, I would never regret saying 'I do' to you," he said, getting up and walking out the back door, the door slamming behind him. I ran my hand through my hair, staring forward. Getting up, I went out the back door, finding him leaning against the banister, staring into the woods. "What made you think I might regret marrying you?" he asked, his voice emotionless. Chase didn't look at me, just remained looking forward.
"I didn't think you would regret it. I just don't want to rush into something until we're completely sure about this," I said, sitting down on the steps. "I'll admit it, I do see myself standing at the alter exchanging vows with you, just not real soon."
I noticed he glanced down at me, his face like a blank canvas, waiting to be painted on. "What's the point of waiting? We're both adults here. There's no one to stop us, we're in love. I don't see why we shouldn't jump right on this," he said, his voice still emotionless, though I did sense a bit of anger in the depths of his flat tone.
Standing up, I walked over to him, grabbed his arms, and pushed him to the side of the house. "Damn it, Chase. Are you that thick-headed?" I said, my anger surging right through me. "You know I love you. You know I'd do anything for you. Why can't you understand that I want to make sure it's the right time for it before doing anything."
I let go of him and walked inside, grabbing my jacket and keys, not sure where I was going to go or what I was doing. I just needed to get some fresh air and have some time to think. "Where are you going?" I heard Chase ask, his voice right behind me. I stopped and turned around to face him. I saw the hurt in his eyes and wanted to take back all of what I just told him, but I couldn't find myself to say it.
"I've got to be alone right now, Chase," I said bluntly, looking away and then letting out a deep sigh. "We'll talk when I get back. But right now I need my space." At that, I turned back around and walked right out the door, not listening to the young man who was obviously begging me to stay.
Time Elapse
I stared at the water in which Chase and I had been swimming in earlier, listening to the waves. The night animals were going about their business as I stood there, not sure what to think.
For the briefest moment, I wished that Chase never entered my life. But I threw it away just as quick as it came. I loved him, more than I loved anything in my life. It's just that at the moment, he irritated me. I thought he'd understand that I didn't want to rush things, but he was so pumped that we could just go off and get married that his mind was clouded to understand.
I sat down, my legs dangling over the edge of the cliff. I continued to stare out into the vast darkness, listening to the waves crash against the shore below. It was peaceful, it was calming.
As I sat there, the slight inkling that something wrong was happening stung the depths of my soul. It was as if this happened to tell my that Chase was in trouble. Blinking, I stood up and walked over to the car, only to get a full blast of fear -- of anxiety -- thrown at me. It hit me so hard that I fell to my knees, nearly passing out.
♠ ♠ ♠
<3