Halfway Gone

Zack woke up in a terrible state of confusion, did he have an argument with Martin last night, one that they may or may not have resolved. He sat bolt upright with the sheets draping off of him, sweat beads on his forehead. Screams almost escaped his throat when he noticed Martin wasn’t lying next to him. Alarms and sirens went off in Zack’s head as he jumped out of bed and out of the room.

An idiot would know that Martin was in no fit state to go out by himself, at this time in the morning. Getting weaker had enabled Martin to get up early like he used to, that’s if he went to sleep in the first place. Zack felt comfort seeing Martin peacefully asleep, it’s the only time he looks like old Martin, and the Martin Zack fell for.

Each room left no sign of Martin, if Zack wasn’t worried before he was off the rails with terror now. The worst part of it all was that he knew that Martin was helpless and so was he, coming to terms with an illness was the equivalent of Zack coming to terms with his inability to take care of Martin properly. If the situations was reversed Martin would have a tracker on the sole of Zack’s shoe and never let him let the house unattended or without a phone.

After clarifying there was no sign of the elder boy, Zack decided to go out and look for him, but not alone. He’d phone Alex, Rian and Jack to help or stay home and wait for Martin to return, unharmed and fully functional. Thankfully all his friends were on speed-dial as his shaking fingers would not be able to punch in the correct digits.

Rian arrived first.

Rian didn’t bother knocking on the door, he just had to make sure that everything was put right again as quickly as possible. Rian, Zack thought, was the best person to have around at these worrying times; also he didn’t get pissed off when you phone him at eight o’clock in the morning.

Jack came next.

Jack delivered pep talks when he arrived, also taking charge like an army officer when barking playful orders at Rian. Usually Zack put up with Jack’s banter well but today with his hands yanking at his hair he could barely manage to hear a happy laugh. Jack stopped goofing around when he noticed Zack on the brink of tears and after Rian had threatened to shove him out the window.

40 minutes after Jack, Alex finally arrived.

Alex gushed out is apologies as soon as he stepped in the front door, Zack although annoyed, didn’t say a thing,, he above all didn’t want to make things worse. Alex took charge unlike Jack though he actually had been thinking about what the hell they were going to do. He, although friends with Zack, may have also been best-friends with Martin as well as he has known him since forever.

Zack was chosen to stay home encase of Martin’s return, Jack was in charge of knocking on people Martin knows houses, Rian would phone everyone on Martin’s contact list while wondering around the local area and finally Alex would drive around as it is possible Martin had gone some distance.

…

Alex felt like he’d drove down this street before about ten minutes prior, it turned out not to be just a feeling. He was still angry at himself for arriving late; Zack looked worried sick even though he would never properly admit it. His hands turned white at the knuckles and sweaty at the palms, thinking always made him sweaty, well not all the time.

More and more cars started to fill the roads the more the minutes ticked away. A while after Alex was at the end of his tether, if he didn’t find a sign soon he would surely give up hope. But as he had come to notice about his life, things came when he barely had the strength to even want the anymore.

From the car he saw Martin sitting on a bus stop bench looking tired and worn down to the very bottom of his life. Alex drove past slightly, not wanting to take Martin by surprise and he did not need that. Alex parked on the street next to where the bus stop was so when approaching Martin could walk away, Alex himself wouldn’t want people jabbing their fingers at him if he was in that situation.

Martin didn’t move.

Alex breathed out heavily to get Martin’s attention as he was somewhere far away in his own head. The boy peered round, not completely making eye contact with the other but not ignoring his presence either. An instant guilty expression crossed the sick boy’s face, making him look more venerable than before if that was even possible.

“Why’d you disappear?” Alex asked, not expecting an answer straight away.

He was right, Martin hesitated before opening his lips, “I don’t know if you understand, I may die any day. Would you like to be found dead in bed by the person you love most?”

“No, but you petrified Zack. He had to call me, Rian and Jack over to yours because he didn’t want to look for you alone,” Alex said.

“Yeah but you don’t really give a damn. You don’t need to. It’s not your battle. But it’s mine and nobody else’s.”

His words rung deep, if Martin was in any other state he would have started an argument but he wouldn’t because he’d suffering a pain worse that death; dying slowly. They had joked when they were younger about how they were going to die, Alex would die in a bed of cash and Martin would be whacked over the head with an ironing board, if only.

“Plus I’m as good as gone anyway.”

“Martin, for the last ten billion years we’ve been friends, why do you think I wouldn’t care if you were alright or not?” Alex raised his voice a notch, gaining Martins full eye contact.

“Alex I’m not me anymore! I’m a pathetic loser who can’t fight off a virus, I’m not the Martin that you hung out with, I’m the Martin who wastes everyone’s time by breathing,” Martin’s voice was crooked and broken, he certainly wasn’t the man he was a few years ago.

“Everybody but Zack’s.”