Halfway Gone

Alex opened the front door for Martin whom gave him an annoyed expression. Martin stepped inside his and Zack’s apartment, instantly being hit by the sense of grief and depression, it sickened him more than he already was. Alex pressed his hands into his back, making the boy move forward against his will.

“Zackary! Martin’s fine,” Alex shouted even though Zack was only in the next room, “Totally intact.”

“Apart from the cancer part.” Martin stepped around the corner and into the living room where Zack was now standing.

Zack restrained himself from jumping into the older man, although his expression remained hollow he still thanked God that Martin had returned unharmed and very much alive. Martin took a few steps closer to Zack so now they were only a foot apart. The younger mans hands reached out and placed themselves on either sides of Martin’s face.

“I can’t believe one day you’ll never come back through that door, that one day the loneliness you just put me through will be never ending. How could you do this to me Martin? What happened to my happy ever after?” Zack sobbed, bringing Martin’s face to his.

“It’s yours Zack, not mine, people like me don’t deserve things like that. People like you should.”

Alex watched the pair, he thought now would be a good time to leave, he didn’t want to get caught up in a sob fest. Slowly he back out of the living room, leaving Martin and Zack without an audience. Zack lifted his head up, he shook it and pushed Martin away slightly.

“But your part of my happy ending.”

“The end of the beginning.”

Zack wanted to slap him, it was almost like a break up line in his head. Realization was hard for Zack, since forever he had been untouched by the brutal side of life, now he was on the brink of it. The thought of never seeing that face, that beautiful face that had made him question everything, scared him. You would be too if your reason for existing was becoming nonexistent.

“You don’t know that Martin, this could all just blow over…”

“Blow over, blow over! Do you think one of these days I’ll just become healthy again. Cancers like a war Zack, and right now I’m Germany.” Martin ran his hands through his hair then chewed on the ends of his nails.

“Well be Russia or France or however won the fucking war! I’ll try my best to be America, I’ll save you,” Zack sobbed again but this time desperately.

“America didn’t save the Allies Zack remember, we just helped. The best thing for you to do his move on before it hurts too much. That would help me.”

This time, Zack did slap Martin.

Martin held his face while Zack looked horrified down at his hands. Never would he raise a hand to Martin, ill or not. Martin’s eyes glazed over with tears but Zack guessed it wasn’t from the slap. Zack opened and closed his mouth, his audibility suddenly unable to function like normal.

“I-I’m g-going t-to b-b-bed,” Martin stuttered sadly, nudging his way past Zack. Before he could leave though, Zack grabbed his arm.

“Sorry. Not just for that but for pitying you and trying to keep you from the world. Martin I love you too much I didn’t even think about what the reverse affect would be,” Zack brought one of Martin’s ands up to his mouth and kissed it.

Martin let himself be pulled towards Zack for a spine crippling hug, an embrace that suffocated him and one he treasured. For the first time in a while Zack felt Martin’s arms squeeze him equally as tight as he does. Just knowing that he was there and not gone made Zack smile lightly against Martin’s bony shoulder.

“If there’s hope then I certainly believe in it,” Zack whispered to the other man, “It would be an awful shame for everything to end tonight.”

“Zack, for the first time I feel ok and weirdly content, don’t go reminding me I could die tonight,” Martin said playfully yet honest.

Zack brought Martin’s face level with his own, “You know, God only knows what I’d do without you.”

Zack kissed Martins lips with a smile.

Sadly it was to be their last.