Surviving the Shivering Solitude

A young, Caucasian woman with short, golden hair and bright eyes sat impatiently at the coffee shop while she waited for her twin sister to come back from shopping. Her eyes followed the hands of the brown, vintage clock, and her fingers stirred the small gold-plated spoon in her tea. She reached for her phone, but she looked up when the echo of the ringing bell rang throughout the store.

While balancing flowers, flower pots, and gardening tools, her twin sister walked animatedly towards her in the San Franciscan coffee shop. The young woman quickly walked up to her sister, took the flower pots, set the flowers on the floor, and sat down on the chair.

“Thanks, Val.”

“No, Michelle,” she raised her hand in protest, “I need to thank you. I see how much trouble you went through for me.”

“It's not a big deal. I even heard some news on him today at the Green House,” she said nonchalantly as she sat down.

“I do not care for it,” Val growled at her sister, then she blinked in disbelief, “You wore that? Seriously? How could you go shopping for tools in that dress? ” Michelle patted her red, satin dress and grinned.

“Quite simply.”

“Am I going to get an answer?” Val chuckled.

“Of course not,” Michelle smirked. Then, she gasped and fixed her posture. She patted her hair, stuck out her chest, and smiled kindly.

“Hello ladies,” the waiter said in a Portuguese accent. He had golden skin with dark, long hair tied back. His green eyes glowed, and his smile made Michelle melt.

“Hi,” we said unanimously.

“May I take your order?”

“Sure.” Michelle said. Then, Val began to fade her out as Michelle ordered food for both of them.

Forty minutes later, Michelle helped Val load up all the flowers, pots, and tools in Val's Toyota 4 runner.

“Thanks for all this,” said Val to her sister.

“It's fine. It is unbelievable that you moved all the way out to San Francisco. It is so far away from Orange County.”

“I am not going to deny that I will miss home. However, my boss relocated me here. Although, a change of scenario can help me deal with my divorce.”

“I still can not believe he left you,” Michelle said in disbelief.

“He did not leave me; we left each other,” hissed Val.

“You do not have to become defensive.”

“I'm sorry. When do you need me to drive you to the airport?”

“Well since I am already dressed and I put my suitcases in the car, we can go now.”

“You wore that to be early to the airport and not to flirt with our waiter?” Val joked.

“Go fuck yourself. However, my outfit did work in my favor!” Michelle giggled as she waved the small paper.

"Do you want to leave?” Val asked when she looked down on the ground.

“It's more convenient for you. Will you stop giving me that face, Val? We will see each other soon."

“I know that. We never lived away from each other. This is going to be weird.”

Michelle agreed. She smiled when her sister's arms wrapped around her.

“At least you will return in a month,” Val squealed.

Michelle tried to keep her balance on her 8 inch heels as she cheered.

“Lets go. Try not to break your ankles in those heels,” Val said. She went inside her car, and Michelle followed her.

Later

Val put the last flower pot down on the table, and she closed the door. Looking through a bad filled with flower seeds, Val found a black pouch coiled tightly by a golden string like how an anaconda coils their pray until the animal breathes their last breath. She carefully opened it. A shimmering auburn seed laid inside. She found nothing to identify the seed. She went on the Internet and searched “seeds”.

"The seed does not become a daisy nor a rose,” she mumbled to herself. “Can it grow into a tulip? Nope, it does not.” Sighing, she grabbed her phone, and began to dial Michelle's number.

“What am I doing? She is already on the plane. Also, this is a seed. Do I need to know the species of flower I am planting?”

She quickly tied the pouch back and grabbed a few white clay pots. She ripped open a bag of soil and ignored some of the dirt that fell on her table. She put the soil in the pots and grabbed the pouch. She put the seed in the flowerpot like a mother puts a newborn back into the crib. Then, she carefully watered the soil. After, she scribbled Auburn on the curved edge with a black sharpie. She set it aside and finished planting all the seeds.

The golden hands on the wooden clock ticked as the night progressed, and Val gradually put the flower pots in their place; however, the small blond woman trembled when her sadness overtook her body.

"These plants are my motivation to progress with my life. I overcome this obstacle.” Val grew less coherent as the sentence continued. She wiped her eyes, but her tears continued to flow down her face as she walked to her room. She laid on her bed and avoided looking to her right.

'It was his side of the bed. It was his side of the fucking bed.' She bit her lip as she cried. She can't remember the last time she did not have him at her side.

Year 2008

“We got your results back, Mrs. Sanders.” said Dr. Karl as she set her clipboard down.

“What happened?” asked Matthew Sanders. Val stared curiously at the red-headed doctor.

“You are encountering tubal ligation. It is common in infertile women.”

“Infertility?” She cries. “We'll never have children?”

"Please tell us you are joking,” Matt whispers to the doctor. His eyes begged the doctor to be lying to him.

“I am sorry. Frankly, Valary's chance for conception is low. Also, if you do become pregnant you have a high chance of miscarrying.” Matt and Val sobbed into each other's arm when the doctor left the room.

As the years passed, their relationship disintegrated. They never fought, but silence overtook their home. Nothing worked. They tried to feel like a complete family. They attempted to talk at the dinner table, attempted to go on pleasant dates, attempted to make love. However, they received silence across the diner table, they had awkward conversations in restaurants, and they got headaches.

They needed a child in their life. One day, Matthew beamed at Val one morning when he woke up. “We are idiots,” Matt said cheerfully.

“Hmm?” Val asked drowsily.

“We are idiots. You do realise we can adopt!”

"Oh my god, we are idiots. Those poor children living in the orphanages. We are potential parents, and we didn't consider that option!” Val said. She kissed Matt and, for the first time, she felt the same passion she had for him when she was a teenager.

“God, I love you,” she moaned when he kissed her neck. “H-honey, we have to find an adoption agency.”

“Can we do it in an hour?” he asked. His rough hand rubbed her thighs, and he pushed her nightie up to her waist. His lips worshiped her chest, and his hands roamed all over her thighs.

“Matt, I really want to find an – Oh, god!” His fingers found her, and she growled. Val kissed him hard, but then, pushed him off her.

“Honey, we'll do it later. All I ask for is an hour of your time,” Val begged. “I'll make it up to you. I promise you.”

“Okay,” he sighed. He grabbed her hand, and they walked to the office.

They searched for local orphanages, and they called one that sounded legitimate. They made the appointment and said their goodbyes. She grinned at her husband, she and allowed Matt to pick her up. She wrapped her arms and legs around him. Soon, she was one with him and for the first time in two years all of him.

A few months past when Matt heard Val crying as she heard the orphanage tell them that their lifestyle was not suitable for a child. Touring with a group of adults for months will badly influence the child.

Three months pass and Val tells her husband she needs to relocate. Her boss asked her to move to San Francisco and manage the marketing department in the new headquarters.

“I'm so excited,” Val said quietly to herself since she was not receiving any form of reaction from Matthew.

“I am sorry,” he sighed as he walked into the living room. She crunched her eyebrows together, and she followed him. Matthew grabbed a large manila folder and handed it to her.

“What's this?”

“I am not going to San Francisco with you.”

“Why?”

“I want a divorce,” he whispered. Her eyes widened, then, she shut her eyes. When she turned around, she began to shake uncontrollably and weep. She knew this would happen.

Present

She knew this would happen. The emotional, then physical, distance between them was destroying them inside. Valary shook her head and closed her eyes. She allowed herself to fall asleep alone.

Valary woke up when she heard a loud plop at dawn. She quickly stood up and grabbed the gun from her drawer. She quietly walked to the location of the noise. She looked around everywhere and saw no one. She checked her doors and windows and all were closed. “How odd.”

She heard clicking and saw a small flicker next to her utensils. She walked closer to the flicker and bent down.

“Holy. Fuck.” Her soft exclamation earned a gasp from the small naked child trying to climb back up the flower pot.

“What are you?” Val whispered. The small girl shrugged her shoulders and stared at the girl. She was so small. Her hair shimmered in the moonlight that beam through the window, and her large eyes curiously looked at Val and her surroundings. Her small hand grabbed the rim of the flower pot and jumped in. She dusted herself and grabbed a petal. She ran to the rim and jumped. However, she did not land on the table instead Val used her soft hands to catch her.

“Do you have a name?” Again, she shook her head. “God, you are the size of my thumb. How is this even possible?”

No response.

“You need a name? Emily? No. Melody? No, you aren't even vocal. Tiny? May-bell? Lydtle? Thumbelina? Thumbelina. Thumbelina! Do you like Thumbelina? ” She smiled.

“Nice to meet you, Thumbelina,” Val smiled.