One Regret

*~ Sam’s Perspective ~*

“Rattlesnake, what’s up?” Big Slim asked, walking over to me, the next day.
“Not much man, Ray’s still in the hospital. He’s getting out sometime today.” I replied.
Our gang was getting only a bit bigger. The H.S.C.’s were nearly doubling in size. That meant we really couldn’t be alone; for if we was- we would surely be killed.
The shot-caller for H.S.C’s had been hurled, so now it was Thin Tim who was leading their gang. His name fools newbie’s a lot; yes, he was small, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t shoot good. There was also a new gang in this school called Jemba.
S Dizzly leads that gang. There are about twelve members, but its continuing to grow.
H.S.C.’s have over 90 members, and they are also continuing to grow. H.S.B.’s have about… 60 members. Will’s fine with it. Actually, Will doesn’t even seem to care, or to be threatened.

*~ Ray’s Perspective ~*

Finally, I got out of the hospital. There was a scar, where the knife had gone though, in my side. I saw Erika in the hallway, and smiled at her. She smiled back.
Erika had refused to be in the gang, after Will had asked her over and over again if she’d like to join. She kept saying no, and Will eventually gave up and left her alone.

Sam informed me that “Jemba” was now a gang at this school. Our school was flooded with gangs. I’m not surprised the teachers and everyone else are scared of us; with all that’s happened in the past. Gang fights broke out almost every 20 minutes.

“What’d yo’ call us?” An H.S.C. gang member growled at a H.S.J. who’d called him a faggot. Speaking of gang fights… looks like one is going to break out right now.
“You heard me!” The H.S.J. spat, taking a step forward to get in the H.S.C.’s face.
By that time, The High School Crip had taken out a pistol and had shot him dead, where he stood. Another H.S.J. saw it and went running after the H.S.C.

Our gang stayed out of it- it was their fight, not ours. Until a stupid newbie got involved some how.
Erika and I quickly went into the school building after we heard choppers (AK-47’s)
I was in no place to scratch, and Erika is already on the green light list; a hit list formed by Will. I heard Will talking about it today, right when I came to school after I got out of St. Lukes hospital.
We both watched from a distance, looking out of the school windows; with my arm around Erika. That’s when I saw Big Slim go down, with blood soaking his shirt.
“No…” I whispered, and ran down the hall, glancing back at Erika. “Stay there! I’ll be back!”
I burst through the school doors and went strait for where Big Slim laid; dodging everyone to get there. When I found him, blood leaked to the concrete.
“Slim!” I gasped, dropping to my knees beside him. “Big Slim- No!”
“Big Slim!” Sam hollered, rushing over to him, also.
“Man,” Big Slim choked. “Tell Will-”
Sam was shot in the arm by an H.S.J.
He called out in pain, then got up and chased after the H.S.J, glancing over his shoulder to me. “You take care of Big Slim!”
I nodded, and looked back at Big Slim.
“Tell Will to get his issue.” He coughed. “Ray… Will isn’t what he says he is.”
“What?” I breathed. “No- Big Slim! Don’t close you’re eyes! Slim!”

Big Slim had been the ‘life of the gang’. He lived by the saying ‘Get it how you live’ which meant take whatever comes. He loved his life, even though he was one hundred pounds over weight. Slim was just so happy all the time. Big Slim was also forgiving, way too forgiving. He told us that if we killed the man who had taken his life, that it would put Big Slim to shame; that all he wanted to be known for is the kind Big Slim he was.

I walked back into the building, very depressed. I blamed Big Slim’s death all on that stupid newbie, who didn’t even have a gang tattoo or a gang name.
Erika rushed down the hall to me, and gave me a hug. “He’s alright, isn’t he?”
I shook my head. “No. He’s- He’s gone.”
She blinked. “I’m so sorry Ray…”
I looked away from her. “He was my brother… I loved him.”

A week after Big Slim’s death, Will invented ‘The foursome.’ A joke, meaning we, at all times, had to travel in a group of four or more gang members. So, it was Sam, Rizzle, Snap and me who were in a group together. We went everywhere together, even the bathroom. There have been fights in there, trust me.

“I hate this.” Erika mumbled to me, as we walked with Sam, Rizzle, and Snap.
“It’s only for protection.” I told her and put my arm around her.
I haven’t told her I’m a very well known drug dealer here at Rocky. I just saw one of the people I sell dope to. He gave me $5,000 in a day for just selling him Morphine. I’m hoping to get enough money to buy a nice home, and a pit bull. I’ve always wanted one of those.
“Hey can you hook me up after school?” Ryan asked, walking over to me. He was another user I gave dope to.
I nodded. “Name a time.”
Ryan beamed. “Four, when the parking lot’s empty.”
“Okay,” I mumbled. “See yo’ then.”

“Who was that?” Erika asked.
“My friend…” I lied. Um no he wasn’t my friend! He wasn’t even in a gang at this school.

*~ Erika’s Perspective ~*
Ray told me H.S.B.’s had a meeting today after school; so he left for that. I waited at his “house” for his return. I about jumped out of my skin when Sam, and two others walked into the house. “Hey Ray, I bought some- Oh, hey Erika. Where’s Ray?” Sam stammered.
“He’s in a meeting with H.S.B.’s… I thought you’d be with him…” I replied, bewildered.
“There ain’t no meetings today.” One of the two who was with Sam, told me.
“Yeah,” Sam frowned. “Did he say where the meeting was?”
“Yes, outs-”
I was cut off by Ray, walking into the shed. “Hey sorry it took so long.”

*~ Sam’s Perspective ~*

“Where’d yo’ go, man?” I asked, a little worried.
“D.D.” Ray stated.
Oh… Drug Deal.
“What’s D.D?” Erika chimed in.
“He was havin’ a meeting with D.D.” I replied. “An…”
Which gang did he belong to? Oh yeah! “An H.S.C.”
“What? But why?” Erika gasped.
“He helped murder Big Slim.” Rizzle helped out with our lie.
“He gave Riley the Prince the AK-47 that killed him.” Snap also told her.
“Anyway, we’d better go.” I said, backing away towards the door.

*~ Ray’s Perspective ~*

Everyday was like a battlefield. Usually, I went to school without enforcing the foursome because Sam had a hangover. It was just Erika and me. Erika was quiet for most of the time, and that bothered me. I finally couldn’t take her silence much longer.
“Alright, what happened?” I asked in a serious tone.
She looked at me, surprised. “Nothing, why?”
“Erika something’s wrong. Please tell me.” I pressed on.
“No Ray- There is nothing to tell you. I’m fine.” She said.

I shook my head and dismissed the conversation. What ever it was, I’d find out later. We walked into the school, and noticed there were now gang territories inside the school. Now that Jemba came to this school; everything has changed.
Will was talking to Thin Tim about forming some sort of alliance. I didn’t think it was possible; our gangs have hated each other for so long.

But then again, we both despised High School Jemba gang members. Thin Tim agreed to the alliance and we planned to ambush Jemba.
We were going to do a Drive-by. There were twenty or so of us going in cars over to Jemba gang territory. I was one of them who were going. Will gave me a chopper (An AK-47).
The drive-by went well; we all had our bandanna’s covering part of our face; just up to the cheeks. We just kept shooting until all of us were out of ammo. They shot back too, but with not as much force.
I drove to my house, and sat in the car for a while. I put my head in my hands; thinking. Why had I agreed to that? I’d shot a freaking fourteen year old! And killed him! I was responsible for some of the deaths but the cops would never find out.

There was a knock on the car window and I glanced to my right to find Erika standing outside of the car. She opened the car door, “Ray?”
I sighed and shook my head, as she continued. “Ray, what’s wrong?”
“Don’t want to talk about it.” I mumbled.
“You seem really upset.” Erika noticed.
“Drop it, Erika.” I growled.
She sat down in the passenger seat. “No, tell me what happened.”
Goddess, demanding much?

“Fine then. I shot a fourteen year old Jemba gang member- and so many others…” I snapped.
I blinked, realizing what I had just told her. Erika gaped at me; astonished.
“I’m sorry. Yo’ can leave me now, if you want. I- I’m also a known Drug Dealer at Rocky Mountain.” I told her, and looked away from her.

After a long silence, Erika spoke up. “I didn’t say I’d leave you. There has to be a reason for everything you’ve done.”
I looked at her, shocked, by her words. “I- I deal drugs because I need the money. I don’t have that much money. I shoot people because I have to. I have to obey my shot-caller.”
“You drug deal because you don’t have that much money?” Erika asked, dazed.
“Yeah. I’m saving to buy a house. And a pit bull- I’ve always wanted a pit bull.” I replied, seriously.
“A… pit bull?” Erika blinked, then sighed. “Alright. I know I can’t stop you from what you’re doing… but I’m scared for you, Ray. Everyday when you leave me alone…”
She trailed off. “Oh Erika, I’m sorry. I don’t mean to abandon you.”
She shook her head. “It’s fine. I- I just want to come with you-”

“No!” I interrupted. “You can’t, Erika. What if something goes wrong? I don’t want them to hurt you.”
“Okay okay. Ray, what happens when you all leave high school? What happens to the gang?”
“We- stick together. We’re the H.S.B.’s and always will be.” I replied then sighed. “We should stop talking about all this.”

Erika nodded in agreement and we both walked inside the shed.
A nightmare haunted me that night. It was a memory of the car crash… the breaks squeaking, the squealing of the car tires, the car rolling, the fear in Matt’s eyes as I glanced at him.

I jerked awake, suddenly aware that sweat was dripping from my forehead. Erika was asleep beside me and I sighed; running a hand through my hair. I hadn’t had that dream since I met Erika. I hated that dream. It was my worst memory. I wiped the sweat from my forehead and laid back down on the mattress; pulling the blanket over me. I needed a house. The shed I lived in was a mess and it was small. It had nothing entertaining in it. Hm, I’ll put an offer in a house tomorrow…

A knock came to the door and I got back up. What now?
I got up from the bed and opened the door. “Sam!?”
I looked at my cell phone to check the time. “Dude, it’s three in the morning!”
“I jus’ wanted to talk.” Sam replied, sorrowfully.
“Whoa man, what’s wrong?” I asked and stepped out of the shed, and shut the door behind me.
“Ray, I miss her. I miss my bunny.” Sam choked out. “I miss her so much- I can’t focus! I can’t- I can’t do anything.”
I sighed. “I know man, I’m sorry. Bunny was a great girl. But… dude, you’ve got to move on. She’d want yo’ to.”
Sam sat down on the grass, with his back to the shed. “It’s just so hard to forget her,” with a sigh, he continued. “Ray, you’ve got to keep Erika ‘way from me.”

I frowned. “Sam?…”
“I’m starting to like her, Ray. And… I don’t want to have conflict between us.” He said.
I smiled. “Thanks, brother.”
He did a small smile and a nod.