Living On A Prayer

Brian stubbed out his cigarette in the sand. He knew he wasn’t supposed to be smoking on the beach but he could care less at the moment. The sun was setting, indicating he’d been there for at least two hours. Grabbing his pack he opened it and frowned noticing he had smoked the last half of his pack. Drawing his knees up, he rested his elbows on them and ran his hand through his hair, tugging at it. He took deep breaths trying to calm himself down and sort through his thoughts.

Eloise words kept running through his mind. Pregnant. She was pregnant, he got her pregnant. Growing even more confused he wondered how she got pregnant. Well he knew how but he wanted to know how.

“Brain?” Looking over his shoulder he saw Lacey walking towards him with her dog pouncing behind her. “What are you doing here?”

“Where’s Johnny?” He dodged her question.

“Up by the car finishing his cigarette and his phone call with him mom.” Lacey answered taking a seat next to him. Brian ruffled Bear’s fur as the dog climbed on his lap. “So are you going to answer my question?”

“What was it?”

“What are you doing here and why did you smoke the rest of you pack?” Lacey asked picking up his empty pack and started placing the butts of the cigarettes in the carton. “Did something go wrong Brian?” Lacey looked over Brian, she frowned noticing he looked defeated. “Honey?”

“El’s pregnant . . .” Brian answered quietly ignoring Lacey’s surprised gasp.

“What are you doing here then? You should be with her, making loving with her Brain!” Lacey exclaimed.

“I—I can’t Lacey,” He looked over to see a dumbfounded look on her face. “What if it ends up like last time?” Lacey’s face dropped as she remembered earlier in the year.

“Oh Brian . . . You are such an idiot!” Lacey told him with a slap upside the head.

“Ow! What the fuck?” Brian rubbed the back of his head glaring at her.

“She has no clue what happened between you and Michelle! Brian you left your pregnant girlfriend, she probably thinks you want nothing to do with the baby!”

“That’s not true!”

“Brian,” Lacey said slowly. “Her son is already fatherless; she doesn’t need two without dads.” Lacey watched as Brian dropped his head and sighed. “I suggest you go back to her and explain everything that happened this past year.” He just sat there quietly thinking over the last year. “Brian, do you understand me?”

“Yeah I do . . .”

“Good, now go!”

Brian handed Lacey her dog before he stood up. He gave her a hug and walked back to the parking lot with her. He waved before climbing into his car and driving off. He nervously bit his lip as he parked in front of the house for the second time that day. Glancing at the clock, he knew they’d be done with dinner by now. Slowly making his way to the front door, Brian paused then decided to knock not knowing if he was welcomed. Holding his breath when Isaac opened the door, Brian gave a tentative smile.

“Hello Brian,”

“Sir,”

“Well, come on in boy.” Isaac moved out of the way letting Brian into the house. “She’s in the back.”

“Thanks,” Brian made his way down the hall and stopped at James room to see he was sitting in crib ready for bed.

“Dada!” James cried happily reaching his arms out for him. Unable to stop the smile appearing, Brian picked up James and held him close to his chest. Brian closed his eyes as he rocked James and kissed the side of his head. After a few minutes, he placed James back down in the crib. “Dada no go!”

“I’ll be back buddy.” Brian told him before he kissed the top of his head. He left James’ door slightly open and then made his way to Eloise’s room. Seeing her door was open, he paused when he noticed she was kneeing by the bed, her back to him.

“Please show him guidance lord. This child needs its father, all I ask is you show him the right path.” Brian looked down at his feet as he listened to Eloise pray. “Thank you for this miracle lord,” Eloise stood up and wiped her face before turning around. She let out a surprised noise when she saw Brian standing there. “What are you doing here?”

“To explain why I left and . . . and to ask you to forgive me.” Brian told her honestly as he walked further into the room.

“Alright,” Eloise sat on the bed and patted the space next to her for him to sit. Brian took a seat next to her, rubbing his hands on his thighs as they became clammy.

“Where do I start?”

“The beginning I suppose,” Brian nodded running his hand through his hair, his mind going back to the beginning of this year.