Generation Nothing

Chapter fourteen

Four days had passed since we had gotten Gracie. It turned out that Jet Star had lost sight in his right eye, and we were all thankful that was the worst of it. It could have been something much worse, like losing an arm or a leg, or even death, so I wasn't being to harsh on myself. Neither was anyone else, for a matter of fact. No one else, except Mikey of course. For some reason, despite Jet insisting it was fine, Mikey continued to hold me responsible. Thankfully the Doc decided to send me and Mikey out to check up on a report of a lone Draculoid wandering along highway nine, and I was given a chance to talk to him.

'Mikey,' it had taken me half the ride to pick up the guts, but I finally managed, 'why are you acting like this?' And I had unleashed hell. Clearly, he had been venting to himself the last few days, because he exploded.
'Because you're a fucking arrogant bastard with no concern for others. Who cares who you fucking injury along the way, so long as you get your quick thrill or clear your conscience or what ever the fuck it is your trying to do inside that fucked up head. Ray only got fucking lucky that it was an eye, but next time any one of us could die, and for what? This is bullshit, Gerard. When it was just you and me you were so much more than this, but somethings fucking changed. You've changed, Gerard.' I hit the brakes, sending Mikey forwards. He was lucky to put his hands up in front of him to stop himself from hitting the dash.
'See what I mean?' he screamed at me, and I ignored him as I kicked the door open and got out of the car. I grabbed my mask before slamming the door shut and walking off. I heard the Trans Am spin off and leave in the other direction, and I stuck my finger up in the air at him.

Soon the sound of the car had disappeared, along with the visual. I gave a heavy sigh, as I stumbled across the road to the sand and collapsed into the small amount of shade provided from a cactus. Mikey was right. So fucking right. I was stubborn and a complete fucking idiot. I mean just take a look at me. I couldn't handle my brother telling me exactly how it is, and I wind up in the desert in the blistering heat, in jeans and leather without anything to eat or drink. I almost smacked me head back against the cactus until I thought better about it. Sighing, I pried the jacket off myself and dropped it on the ground, laying down and shutting my eyes. I wasn't intending to sleep, but it would've been nice. I could have escaped Mikey's rant, as it played over and over in my head. I knew my younger brother was right. While I had definitely been passionate about fighting, and never refused a shot at a drac, over the passed two weeks something had changed. I had become less focused. While I used to be dedicated on the destruction of BL/ind and the restoration of the world, something had changed drastically. Fate was something that seemed to stick up in my mind. Fate I had met Frank, that Mikey had become jealous, that I had grabbed that mouse head, that I had stuck around to fight Korse, that I had found Grace. It all seemed to work, despite Jet Star having lost an eye. We had our own little band of Killjoys, and it all happened because I had driven off to collect my cool.

But what if I was wrong? As unlikely as it seems, what if Korse didn't have any bad intentions with Grace. Maybe they had just wiped out a camp of Killjoys and she had survived. Maybe he saw the possibility to brainwash her and put her back into Battery City civilization. While that was bad, it was better than killing her, and had I not intervened she would still have been alive, and Ray would have his eyesight. In essence, it was my fault. It was all my fault, and the group didn't need or deserve my bullshit. They'd have a hell of a time without me risking their lives, and they deserved a better chance. I opened my eyes again and pushed myself up off the desert sand. I left my jacket on the ground, knowing I had no use of it until tonight, but I would worry about that when the time came. For now, I just wanted to get as far away from the diner as I could.

Somewhere along the way, though, I fainted.