Unsaid Things

“Niccy?” I turned my head to the sound of his voice, feeling my heart flutter and my mind to go blank. Lilly looked up at him from my lap, letting out a large giggle and flapped her hands wildly. Danny had taken a seat beside me with a laugh, shaking his head at little Lilly. She had stopped crying by now and her hands were wrapped firmly around her teddy bear. “You alright, little one?” Danny asked her, and she looked up at him with a grin. She crawled off of my lap that instant and started making her way toward Danny’s.
“Lilly.” I said sternly, grabbing her by the waist and softly placing her back on my lap. Lilly pouted dramatically before crawling over to Danny again. I went to grab for her a second time but Danny pushed my hand back, letting Lilly place her small little butt on his lap. She handed him her teddy bear before giggling, grabbing it back. Danny chuckled softly, and I sighed. “Danny, what are you doing?” I whispered, and he looked up at me with a raise of an eyebrow.
“What do you mean?” he asked, before turning to Lilly and placing his finger in her hand, watched her pull and turn it in every direction. I smiled softly before pushing the thought to the back of my mind, turning to Danny with a sigh.
“Why are you in here…bonding with my child?” I asked. I didn’t mean for it to come out so cold but I’m guessing it did because of the expression on his face. He turned to me before placing Lilly on the couch and standing upright. Lilly looked up at him and pouted softly, holding her bear tight to her torso.
“Sorry if I’m bothering you, then. I just thought that maybe old friends could bond a little.” He stated before turning his back and marching his way to the kitchen. I chuckled, causing him to stop in his tracks.
“Old friends? Is that what we were?” I remarked, tossing my head to the side with laughter. Lilly looked between us before she slid to the floor and started waddling to the kitchen. She looked up at Danny before she got on her knees and crawled right past him. It was as if she knew that something was going to happen between us, because the second words were thrown, she was out of here. I could hear Rachel greeting Lilly behind Danny as he stalked over to me. “Because I could have sworn something more had happened between us.”

“Danny-” I started, but I was cut off as his lips had found mine in a heart beat. My eyes were wide with surprise, before they slowly slipped closed. I kissed him back, wrapping my arms around his neck as I moaned into his mouth. I had wanted to kiss him for so long, and I wasn’t going to back away again. I had felt the emotions between us and finally, he did something about them.
We pulled away breathlessly and I looked him in the eye, a huge grin finding their way onto my lips. Danny smiled too, before leaning forward and pecking my lips twice. I smiled even wider this time, biting my lip as I felt like my whole body had just relaxed completely by that powerful kiss. Danny blushed deeply, and so did I.
“I’m sorry…I…” he paused and I suddenly felt depressed. Did he regret it? Was it an accident again? We had sat up now, and I was playing with my fingers, trying to avert my eyes from his. “…I couldn’t help myself.” He whispered, causing me to look up with a grin. It wasn’t a mistake…he meant to kiss me.
“Don’t be sorry.” I smiled, shaking my head. He had no reason to be sorry.

“If I remember correctly, you were the one that threw away all hopes of something more happening between us,” he shot out, and I just gawked up at him.

“I’m sorry that my ex raped me and got me pregnant. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I loved you immediately back without knowing if I actually do. And I’m sorry I ever trusted you.” I exclaimed, shouting in his face. “I’m sorry that I told you the most important thing in my life, and you came back and threw it right back in my face. I’m just sorry you’re an asshole that I know now, that I don’t think I’ll ever love.” I shouted, seeing the embarrassment float onto his face. Rachel stood between us and I just shook my head at Danny, tears pouring from my eyes as I was so furious right now.
“Niccy, I-” I cut him off. I didn’t want his apology, he ruined it for me. After all of this time, I actually thought I loved him too. Until, that is, he freaked the fuck out at me for no reason at all.
“No, Danny. I don’t want your fucking pity.” I shout, turning my back to him and going up the stairs. I turned at the landing right before my room, looking him in the eye before I let a final tear drop. “Fuck you Danny Jones.” Then I entered my room and slammed it behind me. I knew I might be overreacting, but I didn’t care. He had no right to say any of that. It just hurt too much what he had said, I couldn’t help but hurt him right back.

“Excuse me? But I do recall that I walked in on you sleeping with someone else.” My words were filled with venom and that caused my mind to wander.

“I don’t think he’ll get mad if I interrupt him to tell him I love him too.” I said, before quickly figuring out what I had just said. I bit my lip and turned to Dougie with a blush. “Right?” I ask in a whisper. Dougie starts to speak but I just continue my way up to the third floor now, taking my time as I felt more pregnant now than I have ever felt.
“I don’t thing…I mean…his…mum! Yeah, his mum is over right now and I don’t think you should-” I just raised my hand and shook my head, turning to Danny’s door with a smile. But I was too happy and excited to tell him the news that I didn’t see the rubber band around the doorknob…which must have stood for something.
“Dougie, shuttup. I’ll see you later. Tell Rachel that I’ll tell her all about it later!” I exclaim, before grabbing the key to Danny’s apartment that Rachel had also given me, and unlocked the door.
“Niccy, seriously-” I closed the door behind me after waving to Dougie, and turned, looking around his apartment. I had only been up here once, and it was to use the bathroom when I had watching them play a floor below in the studio, so I felt completely lost when I tried to find his bedroom. I heard something coming from the left of his apartment; his room maybe; but what I heard was weird… was it knocking?
“Danny?” I called, and the knocking stopped completely. I furrowed my eyebrows as I heard a door slam open.
“Ni-Niccy?” I turned completely around to the sound of Danny’s voice and I felt a grin fall atop my lips before I caught sight of him. My smile fell the second I saw him standing there with nothing on; just a pillow to hide his package.
"What's going on?" I whispered ever so softly. I felt tears prick at the back of my eyes as a girl showed up behind him, touching his shoulder in confusion; with nothing but a blanket wrapped around her. My eyes locked with Danny’s and I felt a few tears escape. I looked over the slut beside him, her platinum blond hair obviously fake as I could see her dark roots. Her makeup was thick and smudge, the red lipstick evident on her smeared lips.
“Niccy, I…” he started, but I just shook my head before turning on my heals and running, as best as I could, from the room.

“But you were the one that forgave the man that raped you and got you pregnant…before you even gave me another thought!” Danny shouted, and I felt my eyes fill up with pure tears.

“I know what I did was wrong, but I’d always had thought that you’d forgive me way before than you’d forgive him. I mean…come on Niccy.” He murmured, and I knew that he was right.
“I know, Danny, I’m stupid. I understand that. But I had forgiven him because he seemed genuinely sorry. He wouldn’t stop apologizing and I couldn’t just hold a grudge-” I stopped mid-sentence as Danny caught me off.
“Do you just hear yourself? Do you hear what you just said!? ‘He seemed genuinely sorry. He wouldn’t stop apologizing and I couldn’t just hold a grudge!’ Did you hear any of the word that I had said to you after you walked in? I apologized night and day. I ran after you every time…and I waited in a fucking train station for 9 hours…waiting for you. Was that not genuine enough for you? Should I have stayed for 10 hours? Or maybe…maybe I shouldn’t have waited for you at all…because I can guarantee that the asshole who got you pregnant, didn’t try to apologize once before you had ran from him.” Danny shouted, leaning towards me with an upset look in his eye. I felt tears bore at the back of my eyes, but I didn’t let that stop me as I started to get upset to.
“That has nothing to do with this-” I tried, but I knew that he’d call me out on that too. Which, in all honesty, he did.
“That has every right to do with this! Don’t you understand? You forgave the man that hurt you…before you could actually consider that I’m sorry for what I did. I did the wrong thing and I’ve been beating myself up about it…” he turned to me, unsteady as he poured out his every emotion. I couldn’t help but cry; the tears appearing as if they were on cue…as if my tears knew that he would make me cry so suddenly. “I’m sorry that I didn’t apologize right then and there…I’m sorry I was too late-” he stopped as I cut him off.
“You see how that feels? Being too late.” I muttered, placing my hand on his chest and pushing him backwards. “I was too late in saying that I love you, and you were too late upon apologizing.” I reasoned, and he nodded sadly.

“Stop.” I whispered, looking down at my hands as my eyes grew cloudy with tears. Danny just sighed, crossing his arms over his chest.
“Don’t you remember?” he muttered, walking over to the couch and taking a seat. “Remember what it was like before any of that?” I took a deep breath and looked over at him, finding my head nodding along.

Three weeks went by like a blink of an eye. I spent every morning, day, and evening with Rachel and the four guys I’d like to call close friends. Danny, unlike the others, has become my best friend; of course, though, right behind Rachel. They’ve all become like brothers to me and I knew that coming here was the best decision I’ve ever made. Sure, the problem that got me here was the worse decision I’ve ever made; but none the less, it brought me to a new group of friends. A group of friends I knew I would be there for me through thick and thin.
“Rach?” I heard a voice ask as they stepped into Rachel’s house. I poked my head around the corner from the kitchen and saw the back of my best friend, pulling off his wet jacket.
“Oh, hey Dan. She’s not home; she went to the store or something. But you can hang out if you want. She should be back soon enough.” I said and Danny smiled, coming over to me and giving me a warm hug. I laughed and felt myself blush, hugging him back. I saw Charlie, out of the corner of my eye, jump on the couch to get comfortable. Danny pulled out of the hug before taking a piece of toast out of the toaster and taking a large bit out of it, before putting it back. “Gee, thanks.” I muttered, watching as he just pretty much ate my breakfast.
“No problem!” he exclaimed and I laughed, shaking my head as I grabbed the other piece of toast and started spreading nutella all over it. “You like nutella?! I think I’m in love with you.” He joked and I let out a loud laugh, taking a bite of the nutella covered toast. I made a loud ‘mmm’ sound and Danny shook his head.
“Nutella is my favorite.” I simply stated and he just smiled. I heard the front door open then, and so we ventured out into the hall to see who it was, since it was only 9 in the morning. “Oh, hey, Rachel. This kid over here was looking for ya.” I said, pointing my thumb behind me and at Danny, who was eating the other piece of toast. “And he just so happens to be eating my breakfast…again!” I exclaimed, and Rachel just laughed.

“Everything was perfectly fine before I told you I was pregnant.” I muttered, looking over at him with tears falling down my cheeks. “Then everything turned horrible. I had crazy mood swings and we constantly got into fights. What I would give to forget about all of that…” I whispered, looking down at my fingers and they began to bind together in thought.
“Then can we? Go back to the month you moved in? The month everything was perfect?” he asked, and I just shrugged my shoulders. “I’m not mad at you anymore. It’s been two years. I’ve forgotten, hopefully you have as well.” He nodded, and I smiled softly. “Lets just go back to the happy Niccy and Danny days…and pretend the others had never happened.”
“Okay.”