If You Weren't So Selfish Then You Might Want to Live
'Cause When Your Bird Has Flown, She'll Never Return Home
Running.
The cobblestone street made it impossible to stay in a straight line. My feet were unconsciously moving away from the stones that stuck out the farthest, bending my ankles unnaturally, trying desperately to keep the sore bruises and cuts to a minimum this time.
I focused on one thing and one thing only: running, staying ahead of them, keeping a distance between us, keeping alive.
Fog seemed to linger here, covering the street names and obscuring all the landmarks I might have used to distinguish where I was. The plant life looked like monsters when shrouded in this fog blanket, crouching low, ready to pounce on me as I sprinted past.
My breath condensed in front of me, creating a tiny wisp of a cloud and then disappearing as I sucked more air into my throbbing lungs. I could feel them, they were close, and it seemed they were peeling off the first few layers of my skin and dragging me backwards.
Vaguely familiar signs from shops that had closed long ago haunted the buildings, striking out through the fog at the very last minute. It was a ghost town, sad since Diagon Alley had always been so full of life in my memories. Of course, curfew was over and everyone was locked away, hiding in the corners of their homes and saying their prayers ten times over to the darkness that surrounded them.
Not me. No, dumb Camilla Carwright was sprinting down the middle of Diagon Alley with at least ten dementors at her back. I cursed, pushing myself forward again while trying to ignore the pangs in my chest, the lack of oxygen that was making it's way to my tired limbs.
I hit a particularly high cobblestone, sprawling out onto the ground and rolling forward slightly. I pressed my hands out flat, forcing myself up again, ignoring the complaints that my body seemed to scream at me.
I had to keep running.
The air was colder and breathing felt like a masochistic act, forcing icy chunks into my lungs. I risked a glance back, stumbling as a dementor reached forward, it's gray hands clawing at me. It's faceless body was swirling closer, the black, torn cloak warping strangely behind it. There was a sucking noise, one I'd come to hear in nightmares, and I felt my skin crawl away from my bones, chilling me to my core.
I tried to think of happy things: old friends, Hogwarts, my first kiss, my first car, winning the quidditch cup, anything!
"Expecto Patronum!"
The silver wolf sped from my wand and launched at the dementor. It billowed back immediately, evaporating into the sky. My patronus jogged beside me, it's head swiveling to watch me for a moment, before it shrank away into the fog. A wolf, the symbol of independence. I guess you couldn't get anymore independent than I was now.
I focused on the road again, pushing myself forward, my arms and legs pumping together. Every place seemed closed up, boarded with haphazard wood thrown across windows and doorways. Everything was a mess with various boxes blown open, their contents spilling into the road, crumpled and forgotten. The attacks left people scared.
A small alley led off to the side and I skidded towards it, pausing for a moment to lean in a doorway, heaving breaths in. It was silent here, only empty, stale buildings for company. I coughed, heaving slightly as I clutched my stomach, crunching my eyes closed. It felt like I'd been running for hours and every part of my body ached.
I slid down the wooden door behind me, coughing again as my hands trembled in front of me. My wand, a twelve inch, willow with a dual core of phoenix feathers and veela hairs, shook in my hands, bouncing in front of me. My vision was starting to go in and out as I watched the wand, the intricate designs at the bottom curving to fit my hand perfectly.
I could barely remember the day I'd gotten the wand, here in Diagon Alley. It seemed too far away, the memory's edges frayed and worn with sunspots. I realized, with a start, that Olivander's Wand Shop was nestled in front of me, empty and cold. It seemed so much warmer in my memory, like an orange filter had been placed over the lens of my eyes. My head lolled forward, a drop of blood hitting the cobblestone in front of me with a silent splatter. It was so much warmer then...
•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•
"Ah yes, this should do it."
The old man scurried away from me for a moment, taking the wand that had so obviously not chosen me away with him. I shifted in front of the desk, biting my lip nervously. He took a few boxes down from the very top of the shop, letting them fall without a care to the side. Finally, he slid a box out of the stacks, sliding down the ladder to meet me by his desk again.
"Yes, here we are."
He gently lifted the wand, holding it out to me with a small smile. I swallowed hard, lifting the wand with the tips of my fingers. The handle was intricately designed and fit perfectly against my palm.
"Twelve inches...inflexible willow, you will have to work hard but the outcome will be powerful. A dual core....rare but fitting. Phoenix feathers for strength and adaptability. Veela hairs, though volatile and temperamental, will prove a useful alley to the one who respects it's power."
It felt right, perfect and when the final tests had been performed, I was the owner of my first and only wand. I smiled to myself, paying for the wand and stowing it away in my robes. Outside, the sun was shining and young witches and wizards were shoving through the streets, trying to get everything on their school lists.
"Looks like..."
"We only need..."
"A few more robes and..."
"Then we'll be done."
My head snapped up to see two ginger boys, glancing down at their school lists. They were identical, their bags filled to the brim with items they needed for school. A few feet away, more of their ginger family stood waiting.
Their heads swiveled simultaneously towards me and I took a step back, colliding with the wall behind me. They both cracked matching smiles, stowing their lists away in their bag and walking over.
"So, you're going..."
"To Hogwarts too?"
They nodded towards the letter and list of supplies in my hand. I silently nodded, frowning when they swiped them both away. They quickly scanned through it, their eyebrows furrowing at almost the same time.
"Camilla?"
"That's my name." I crossed my arms over my chest
"But...shouldn't you..."
"Have a Japanese name?"
"I've lived in London my entire life, thank you very much."
"You're here..."
"By yourself?"
"Yes."
I reached forward, trying to grab the papers from their grasps. They both took a step back, looking more than a little amused as I fumed.
"Looks like..."
"You still need to get robes."
They handed the papers back, grinning widely. I tersely nodded, frowning slightly as I tried to figure out what they were getting at. Suddenly, one was on each side of me, their arms around my shoulders.
"You can come with us."
They began walking forward, keeping me planted firmly between them. There was a moment, just a moment, of doubt before a small smile graced my features and the twins squeezed me tightly.
"I'm Fred."
"George."
"Stick with us Cam..."
"We'll help you get what you need."
•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•
My eyes naturally rose to the building in front of me, the wand shop that so many students had come to in their first years of school. My own wand had saved my skin many times over...but then, so had Fred and George.
A billowing noise brought me forward again. I ignored my pained muscles and the cut on my head that simply wouldn't stop bleeding, and pushed myself forward again. I ducked through an alley in front of me, knocking garbage cans and empty boxes back behind me to slow the dementors down.
I forgot the pain in my panic, my feet pounding against the cobblestones as I pulled myself forward. I convinced myself that every few feet I made took me closer to safety, but there was nowhere left to go.
Suddenly, in the middle of the fog, a light shined through, small and relatively obscured. I took off towards it, gasping in freezing air. I skidded to a halt in front of the aging, wooden door, slamming my fists against it. The air stopped moving completely and every breath was painful. I hit my fists against the door again, tears rising in my eyes.
"Sanctuary!" I screamed, continuing the onslaught against the door
The sucking noise was back and I turned, pressing myself against the door. They were coming from both sides of the alley, swarming towards me. I felt sick, my knees weak and jelly-like. There was no hope, not even a glimpse of escape anymore.
For a moment, the world disappeared. I was at my mother's funeral, placing flowers on her casket. I blinked, my breathing shallow as the alley came in and out of focus. I closed my eyes, Dumbledore's dead face filling my mind. Tears were rising in my eyes as I peered into the alley again.
I held my wand out, my knuckles white, my entire arm trembling. My heart wasn't beating in tune, it no longer slammed against the chest, reminding me I was alive. Was I alive?
"Expec-....expect-...argh!"
I hit the floor, head spinning as I was surrounded and quenched with warmth. My eyes opened in time to see the wooden door swing shut, the charm around the building rippling for a moment and then solidifying clear again. I slowly sat up, rubbing my head as my eyes wandered to my saviours.
"Good thing we set up those protective charms ay?" one of them stated, turning their attention to me
"Fred. George." I mumbled, nodding to both of them in turn
"Cam, it's been..." Fred began
"Too long. How is it you always..." George added
"Could tell us apart?" Fred finished
"George is prettier." I joked, watching George smirk at his brother, "Thanks, by the way. Didn't think I was getting out of there this time."
"Our pleasure." they said together, matching grins on their face
I couldn't help but smile at them, letting them drag me to my feet. After that first day in Diagon Alley, we had been inseparable, forming a tight knit group as we made our way through Hogwarts. It felt good to be around my boys again.
"So...this is what you did after school?" I asked, glancing around the shop with a grin
"Welcome to Weasley's Wizard Wheezes!" George stated, holding his hands out proudly as he directed my attention to various products on the shelves
"Very impressive." I replied with a grin, clapping sarcastically
"Oh, we've got it all, from trick wands..."
"To extendable ears..."
"To portable swamps..."
"And everything in between!"
I laughed, my eyes following their hands as they pointed out various things in the shop. Shelves were stacked high with various whirling, swirling, clapping, popping items that I knew neither name nor purpose.
I glanced over at the window, cringing at the dark sky. Breaking curfew was one thing, a thing I'd done multiple times, but running around in the middle of the night was a death wish. I would have to leave soon if I was going to get to some sort of shelter.
"Hey, I'd really like to stay but..." I began, surprised when they both walked back to me, getting in my face with semi-angry expressions
"Leave? Now? If you didn't notice..."
"It's getting dark out there and there's no way..."
"We're letting you leave when it's this dark. You can..."
"Just stay the night here." George finished with a smug smile
I rolled my eyes, smiling again. It was no secret that both the twins were overprotective of me, especially George. I was one of the smallest in our group and when we played quidditch together, George a beater and myself a chaser, he made no secret going out of his way to protect me from the other team.
But after the Yule Ball, that's when things had really changed.
•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•
He was standing over me, a smirk plastered across his fat face. Perhaps if I hadn't been so short, it wouldn't have been so terrifying.
I backed away, pushing myself against the wall and trapping myself in the process. His fingers wrapped around my arms, biting into them, no doubt leaving bruises as reminders of this terrible night. Tears ran down my cheeks, ruining make-up I'd spent at least an hour on earlier in the evening. My dress was torn from running away from him, from the spells he'd cast trying to keep me in place.
It was supposed to be such a good night too.
I'd gone with Cedric Diggory and he had walked me back, like a gentleman, but the moment he left was when Goyle had pounced and attacked me. I trembled as he drew closer, his eyes slowly traveling down my body.
"Stupefy!"
Goyle fell backwards against the ground and I fell away from him, sinking to my knees in sobs. The twins came out of nowhere, Fred grabbing Goyle while George knelt beside me.
After deciding I wasn't seriously hurt, he sat behind me, pulling me tightly against his chest and wrapping me in a protective hug. I turned towards him, letting him wipe the tears away with his fingertips. Finally, he tilted my head up towards him, gently kissing the pain away.
•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•
George led the way to the spare room upstairs without saying a word. I sank away from my memories, focusing on the house in front of me. The store obviously took up most of the building, but the second floor had been converted into a hallway that resembled the burrow in many ways. The sweet feeling of nostalgia tugged at my chest, dragging me forward.
"Here we are. Make yourself at home."
He left after that, leaving me alone in the room. It shouldn't have surprised me. George had never been good in awkward situations with me and after the Yule Ball....well, things had certainly changed between us.
We didn't talk about it afterwards and our friendship seemed as strong as ever. At least to me. Perhaps I had been wrong...
•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•
Everyone cheered down below, hats were thrown into the air, wands raised in celebration as the twins flew away into the distance.
Not me.
I sat alone at the top most tower, staring at their disappearing figures. They'd gone out with a bang, and I admired that, but now? Now it was over. I didn't even get to say goodbye. They'd left me behind.
George had left me behind.
I didn't like to play favourites when it came to the twins because they both meant the world to me, but if I was honest with myself, I would always be closer to George. Now he was gone.
I should have been used to it, at the very least ready for it. My mother, killed by Voldemort, had left me behind with a broken father for the majority of my life. I had relied on the twins, they had helped, made things better, more sane.
But now they were gone and I would have to start over again on my own.
•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•
Perhaps it wouldn't have been so bad if I had gotten a letter, a glimpse of an apology, for what he did. It definitely would have been better if he hadn't gone and found a girlfriend less than a week later.
I huffed slightly, shaking my head to rid the thoughts from my mind. It wasn't my place to tell him who to date, we were just friends. It was my place to look out for him, yes, that was it. My feelings towards the girl were natural. He deserved much better.
I chuckled slightly, throwing my small bag on the bed and sinking down against the mattress. I couldn't remember the last time I'd had a real bed and I immediately lied back against it, despite how dirty and cut up I was.
Yes, George's girlfriend had definitely been a thorn in my side. One I had never really gotten over. I'd only met her once, only by chance at that, but it was enough to tell me I didn't like her at all.
•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•
George and Fred were in trouble.
That was like saying the sun was going to rise in the morning or if you stand out in the rain, you'll get wet. They were always in trouble. And I was always the one getting them out of trouble.
I swerved away from a double decker bus, cursing and throwing the wheel back in the other direction. George and his girlfriend were in the back and slammed against the side of the car while Fred grabbed onto anything available to stay in his seat beside me.
"C'mon, step on it!" Fred hissed, holding onto the door handle as I swerved against to miss another car
"What? She's just a kid."
It was the girl in the back, the new girlfriend. I hissed in frustration, glaring at the road in front of me. Being so small and generally quiet made many people assume that I was younger than I was. It didn't usually bother me. But it wasn't usually coming from a girl I was already predestined to hate.
"Are we stating the obvious now? Okay. You've got a dumb, blonde bitch in the backseat of my beautiful mustang. You had better start explaining what happened before I kick all of you out." I murmured, glaring again
I didn't kick them out. Not that night. I drove the three of them to the burrow, waited for less than a moment for them to clamour out, and then disappeared, leaving them all behind.
I rebelled after that.
Some people blamed it on the fact that I had lost my best friends, others weren't sure. I teamed up with Harry Potter and his friends for a while but it wasn't enough. I needed people who were like me, people who were angry and wanted to get even.
I found that in the Rebels.
•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•
I silently peeled my clothes off in the bathroom, letting them fall beside me on the tiled ground. My leather jacket and hat first, then the belted pants I was wearing, then my fishnets and tight cutoff shirt. Finally, I dragged off my black, fingerless gloves, exposing my wrist.
And my tattoo.
A small cursive f, nestled against my wrist. You had to know it was there to really see it, especially since the ink was white. I traced my finger along the edges, frowning. F was for freedom fighters, a topic that generally drove a stake between George and I. At least, it had the last time we'd talked about it.
•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•
It was Ginny's fault really.
Despite my obvious issues with the twins, or more correctly, with George, I would have done anything for the Weasley family. They had looked after me since I was a child, opening up their family and home to me. There was nothing they could ask that I wouldn't have done.
It had started at Diagon Alley. I was just taking Ginny to grab some books for Hogwarts, the other Weasley's were busy. But then, when some boys began picking on Ginny, I felt the need to protect her.
And so I did.
Ginny had someone convinced me to come back home and get cleaned up. The fight hadn't been pretty on my end, with a gash across my cheek and a couple of badly bruised ribs. Luckily, the other side had gotten it much worse.
Ginny had assured me that the twins wouldn't be there, that they'd moved out long ago and that they had other things to attend to. But of course they were.
I had never been very lucky.
"What are you going to do, Camilla? There won't always be someone to fight."
I flinched, partially because dragging a wet rag across the cut on my cheek hurt and partially because George only ever said "Camilla" when he was angry.
I hadn't talked to either of the twins since they'd left that night, when I'd brought them to home that night. It seemed so long ago.
"There will always be something or someone worth fighting for, George." I mumbled, getting rid of the cut across my cheek with the tip of my wand
"Do you even know the people you're fighting for?" he asked in an exasperated tone, turning me towards him
"George, he killed her. Voldemort killed my mother. He might as well have killed my father." I hissed, ignoring when he flinched at the name, "I don't have anyone left."
"Cam..."
"No, stop! You don't get it..." I began, crossing my arms
"You can't fight everyone else's battles, Camilla!" he screamed
"At least I'm not running away from every battle!" I screamed back
•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•
There were a few scars sporadically placed along my body, cuts and wounds that I hadn't gotten to fast enough. I traced over a few, frowning, before slowly pulling on a red nightgown.
I walked into the dark bedroom, sitting down on the side of the bed and glancing over at the night stand. A small picture of the entire Weasley family greeted me, their smiling faces and waves directed at me.
I smiled slightly, resisting the urge to wave back. Despite the many times George and I had fought after he and Fred left Hogwarts, I had never stopped worrying about them. Things had gone from bad to worse since then, Voldemort gathering support and power. The deaths were stacking up, people were scared, hiding.
I had a radio programmed with me at all times, spewing the latest deaths every night. There were secret messages within the airwaves and I heard every one, desperately seeking out news of Harry or the Weasley's.
That's how I'd heard about his ear.
•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•
I took a deep breath, raising my hand tentatively and then knocking against the door. There was a suspicious shuffle behind the door for a moment and then it cracked open. Professor Remus stared out at me, his eyebrows furrowing.
"When did you first meet me?"
"On the train coming into Hogwarts. You got rid of the dementors. You gave Harry chocolate too." I replied, crossing my arms across my chest
"Sorry, Cam. Can't be too careful in times like these." he replied, opening the door and shoving me inside before slamming the door shut behind me
"Ah, Camilla darling."
Mrs. Weasley stepped from the kitchen to greet me, wrapping me in a hug. I fell against her immediately, grateful for the familiar warmth. She smiled, though her face seemed more worn and stressed than I'd ever remembered before.
"Here to see George I guess?" she asked, walking me towards the kitchen
"I'll see him later. I'm sure he needs his rest." I replied awkwardly, rubbing my neck as I noticed Harry standing off to the side
"Hey Cam."
His voice shook slightly, like he was holding in all his emotions, trying to hold tight to whatever was keeping him sane. I slowly dragged him away, taking sanctuary in the dimly lit hallway.
"Before you say anything..."
"Let me at least start, Harry."
He sighed, smiling sheepishly and nodded. I took a deep breath, leaning against the wall. I'd always thought of Harry as a younger brother of sorts. It was tough, trying to guide him when I honestly had no idea what he was really going through.
"I know you want to leave and battle all this on your own. Here's why your idea sucks: first, leaving right now in the middle of the peak of your emotions will only get you killed and then you're not going to accomplish anything. Second, Hermione and Ron aren't going to sit this one out no matter how hard you try to make them stay. They want to help." I stated quickly, whispering hard to him
He sighed again, hanging his head with a slight nod. I smiled, ruffling his hair a bit.
"If you need anything, anything Harry, come to me." I whispered, waiting for him to nod and then retreating down the dark hallway
I knew where George's room from previous days and nights spent with the Weasley's. I'd been here more often than my own home when I was still in school, picking the more solid Weasley family over my flaky father.
Things had changed so much between us and the world was a much darker place than I remembered it ever being. Our innocent friendship had been stolen away and more than anything, I wanted it back.
I silently knelt beside his bed, gently grabbing his hand and watching his slow breathing. His eyes fluttered open before he focused on me, a small smile crossing his face and crinkling his eyes.
"I didn't think you'd find time for little old me." he joked, sticking out his tongue
I smiled but didn't say anything, keeping his hand in mine. I wanted to remain close, to stay here for as long as I could, before I had to face the real world again.
"You're going away again, aren't you?" he whispered
"Yes."
"This is your way of saying goodbye?"
"I can't think of any other way to do it." I lied, hanging my head slightly
"You were hoping I'd be asleep then?"
"Yes."
"Would you like me to pretend I'm asleep, make it easier on you?"
"No."
It was silent for a moment and he gently squeezed my hand. He shook his head slightly, watching me carefully.
"You don't make any sense, Cam."
I smiled to myself, though tears began forming behind my eyes. I sucked in a breath, trying to keep myself under control.
"I guess you've never made any sense though. Sort of what I like about you." he added, smiling
"I could say the same thing about you, George." I replied, biting my lip
He paused, lifting his hand from mine to brush a few stray pieces of hair from my face. He quickly put his hand back in mine though to keep me from pulling away.
"Would you change your mind if I told you I'd miss you terribly?" he whispered
My face fell again, hidden by my hair. I stared down at the ground, trying to stop the tears desperately.
"Yeah...I didn't really think so." he sighed, propping himself up again and letting go of my hand in the process
He fumbled with something around his neck, pulling it over his head and placing it over mine. The charm fell with a thud against my chest and I glanced down at the shimmering glass ball that shined so brightly in the darkness.
"You'll need it more than me, what with going to whatever dark places you're about to go to." he murmured
I tucked the necklace under my shirt, watching the light fade and finally disappear. It was silent again for a moment before he grabbed my hand, brushing his lips against my knuckles.
"Promise me you'll try to stay safe." he whispered, pulling me into a tight hug
"I promise."
•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•
I glanced down at the necklace, pulling it out and watching the bright light swirl beneath the glass. I'd never taken it off, it had never occurred to me to take if off. The necklace had proven to be more than useful on several occasions.
After that last meeting, I'd immersed myself in rebel activity. It made me forget the people that I was leaving behind, the people that were still in danger, no matter how many deatheaters I killed.
I'd never taken off the necklace, though it hurt terribly to wear it. It was a constant reminder of George, of his anger at my decision to stay with the rebels and continue to fight against Voldemort and his followers.
Blood trickled from my forehead, bringing my most recent memories to mind immediately. I cringed, groaning slightly and pressing my palm against my forehead to stop the headache.
•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•
I had infiltrated a death eater meeting. Everyone said it couldn't be done, that I'd never get past the front door, but I had done it. Lucius Malfoy was the first to suspect anything at all. The rest of the group would have been completely content to discuss their most intimate plans right in front of me.
"Did she go to school with you, Draco?"
The timid boy glanced up at me, making eye contact. I thought he was going to cry, his entire body shaking. He seemed to be asking, begging, for me to save him from whatever was going on.
"I'm not sure." he whispered, his voice cracking slightly
"Well, she certainly wasn't in Slytherin then, was she?"
Draco flinched, making a face that crossed somewhere between pity for me and disgust for himself. I backed away slightly, my heart beating faster.
"I...I'm not..."
"Come now Draco, we don't have all day."
The lady in the back was talking, Bellatrix Lestrange. She glared blatantly at me, crossing her arms with a huff. Draco bit his lip, unable to conjure up anymore words. I was surprised at his response, at the overwhelmingly moral core that was beginning to shine through. I had always found the Malfoy's revolting but, perhaps, there would be at least one of them that I would be less inclined to hurt.
Suddenly, Bellatrix snapped her wand up, lifting my arm and pulling my sleeves away. They pulled away easily and my tattoo showed through clearly.
Lucius, who was suspicious in the first place, was also the first to react, hitting me hard with the end of his cane. I was sent reeling towards the door, apparating as soon as I got there into the street. That's when the dementors had been sent after me.
•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•
Blood was still spilling from the cut and I stood up, lifting the necklace from beneath my shirt and glancing in a mirror to try to stop it. That's when I realized someone else was in the room. Their soft breathing tipped me off and I froze, grabbing my wand from the top of the bed. I was beside him in an instant, pressing my wand against his neck.
"If this is your definition of foreplay, I'm going to have to get my wand," he joked, and I quickly realized it was George
I sighed, pulling away and sitting down on the edge of the bed and silently slipping the necklace back beneath my shirt. He chuckled, sitting down beside me with a sigh. The light mood was cut short though and he frowned, gently grabbing my wrist and turning my whole arm over.
"So, you joined after all." he mumbled, letting go of my arm
"I couldn't sit by on the sidelines while they committed murder. I needed to do something." I replied, staring down at the ground
"They're calling you guys vigilantes." he said in a matter of fact tone
"At least we're fighting back." I defended, standing
"Cam...jesus, I just don't want to see you getting hurt." he admitted
"You didn't seem so concerned when you left." I muttered childishly, crossing my arms
"I left? What about you? You're just as guilty!" he yelled, standing to face me
He caught himself though, pulling back and sitting down on the edge of the bed with a sigh. He ran his fingers through his hair, staring down at the ground with a pained expression.
"You always do this. You bring out the worst in me." he whispered
"George...look, I don't want to fight. I'll be out of your hair by tomorrow." I muttered, sitting down beside him
"You know that's not what I want." he stated, glancing over at me
"I can honestly say I have no idea what you want." I replied, shrugging slightly
He scowled slightly but didn't admit to wanting anything at all. It was quiet as we both sulked, crossing our arms across our chests. Finally, George pulled his wand from his pocket, turning me to face him.
"I don't need..."
"Stop being a child and..."
"I'll be fine."
"Just let me help." he stated, batting my hands away
I sighed, rolling my eyes as he carefully placed the tip of his wand next to my forehead, silently healing the cut away. When he was happy that it was healed, he pulled away, flicking the wand towards the bathroom and sending a rag to his outstretched hand.
He dropped his wand, putting one hand behind my head to keep me in place while gently rubbing the leftover blood from my forehead and cheek. I closed my eyes, content for just a moment to be here with him. Even when he pulled the rag away, I kept my eyes closed, kept the moment locked away in my mind.
Which is probably why is came as such as surprise me his lips brushed against mine.
"I want you." he whispered, "I want you to be safe and happy and content...with me."
"I don't believe..." I began, stiffening
"God damnit, Cam, what do I have to do? If I could go back, I would, but I can't!" he stated, grabbing me to keep me from moving away from him
"I don't...get off me!" I hissed, twisting away
"No." he murmured, "Not anymore. Not everything is a fight."
Somehow we had managed to wrestle back against the bed. He had me pinned, though I don't think either of us was trying very hard, and I relaxed for a moment, keeping my eyes shut tightly as though that would block out the honesty in his words.
"You don't always have to fight." he whispered
I slowly opened my eyes, slowly let the first couple of tears trickle down to the bed. The tears I'd never cried, had never wanted to cry, pushed their way to the surface as he hovered above me. Finally, without a moment of doubt or hesitation, my fingers twisted into his hair and brought his face down to mine.
He went without a fight, one hand scooping under my back and holding me against him while the other cupped my face. I pressed myself closer, my hands traveling down to his back, my fingertips biting into his skin.
There was a moments pause when he pulled away, just far enough to kiss his way across my cheek and down my neck. My fingertips dug deeper, my lungs refusing to work. I managed to kiss his cheek, butterfly kissing to his ear until he captured my lips again with his own.
His fingertips dragged down my side and I stiffened in pain, my eyes crunching shut. He slowly pulled away, pressing his palm lightly against my ribs and I flinched again.
"What'd they do to you, Cam?" he breathed
I brushed my fingertips against the side of his head, the small scar where his ear had been. His eyes closed immediately, a silent connection between the two of us. He leaned back down, kissing me hard again.
Suddenly, my necklace rolled to the side, illuminating our faces, merely whispers away from each other. I gently brushed my lips against his again before relaxing back against the bed, my breathing choppy and out of tune.
"Dark times huh?" he whispered, pulling the necklace up to inspect it
"Only darker with me around." I breathed as he dropped the necklace back to my chest
He brushed this thumb against my cheek, his eyebrows furrowing as I made eye contact, holding him there, staring deep into eyes that I'd stared into so many times in the past.
"Stay here." he breathed, leaning down and laying his head against my shoulder, "Stay here with me."
My eyes crunched closed as he wrapped his arms around me, pressing his face against my neck. I bit my lip, trying desperately to find words that would comfort us both. None came to mind so I stayed silent, keeping him beside me, keeping him in my arms.
"You know I can't." I whispered
He pulled away, sitting up again. I waited for him to say something, even welcomed the idea of him screaming and yelling at me. Perhaps if he continued at it long enough, I'd cave and stay. I'd do what was best for me instead of trying to live up to standards set by masochistic fairy tale heroes.
But he didn't say anything. He simply shook his head, as though he'd seem it coming all along, and walked out of the room.
And with that, I turned over on my side and waited for the sun to rise.
•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•
That night I dreamed.
George and I were at Hogwarts, back before all hell had broken loose. We were sitting beside the fire in the Gryffindor common room, mulling over something George was holding.
The necklace, the one he'd given me before I left. He held it in front of him, letting it dangle from his fingertips.
"Where'd you get it?" I mumbled, frowning
"Nicked it from Fliche's office." he replied proudly
"What's it do?"
"Nothing yet." he replied, grinning mischievously as he laid it out on the table
"It's too pretty to waste on one of your pranks." I muttered, picking it up and letting the small, glass orb rest in my palm
"Well, what's it good for then?"
He had crossed his arms, huffing slightly in exasperation. I smiled slightly to myself, laying the necklace out on the table in front of us again.
"We need more light in the world." I whispered, lightly tapping the orb with my wand
It immediately buzzed with light, illuminating George's face. He looked more appeased, genuinely content with the necklace. I silently draped it over his neck, letting it bounce against his chest lightly.
And then the two of us leaned back against the couch together, wrapped in each others arms, and watched the fire slowly flicker and die out in front of us.
•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•
I stood at the bottom of the stairs, the store quiet and empty behind me. I wanted to walk away silently, leave them behind and never come back to disrupt their lives again. But I couldn't. Not this time.
I glanced through the first aisle of strange contraptions the twins had come up with, tracing my finger over sharp edges and curved domes. My mind wandered as I shuffled down the aisle, pausing near the back of the store. It was where the offices were, tucked away from the rest of the store.
Fred's was first, the door propped open with stacks of books and overflowing papers. I moved past it, cringing to a stop in front of George's door. Above it, written in lopsided cursive, was: "Bring light into the world."
I closed my eyes, biting my lip. The thing I wanted most in life, the thing I'd been striving for, was peace. For things to go back to the way they were before Voldemort had ruined it all. And the only thing I'd created out of all of it was more chaos, more pain.
"Cam?"
"Bring light into the world." I whispered, "How are you doing that?"
George slowly walked closer, standing beside me and staring up at the engraving. His eyebrows furrowed slightly as he thought the question over before he slowly wrapped an arm around my shoulders.
"One day at a time."
"Here?"
"I suppose it isn't as glorious as chasing after death eaters every day or fighting off dementors, but yeah, I like to think we're bringing a little light into the world. Making people smile, making them forget that outside there's a world of destruction going on." he replied, shrugging slightly
"I don't know what to do anymore." I breathed, twisting the necklace in my fingertips
"Well, you should never decide something on an empty stomach." he mumbled, squeezing me and kissing the top of my head, "Isn't that right, Fred?"
"Quite right, George. It just so happens I'm about to make breakfast too." Fred muttered with a yawn, winking at me
"You should stay a while." George muttered
"Rest your mind." Fred added as he walked to the kitchen
"Create your light."
George whispered it as Fred walked away, giving me an all-knowing glance, before following after his brother. I stared up at the sign again, dragging the necklace over my head with a sigh.
"Create your light." I mumbled, nodding once slightly to myself
And with that I draped the necklace over the last "t" at the end of the engraving and turned towards the kitchen to help the twins and hopefully create some light of my own.
The cobblestone street made it impossible to stay in a straight line. My feet were unconsciously moving away from the stones that stuck out the farthest, bending my ankles unnaturally, trying desperately to keep the sore bruises and cuts to a minimum this time.
I focused on one thing and one thing only: running, staying ahead of them, keeping a distance between us, keeping alive.
Fog seemed to linger here, covering the street names and obscuring all the landmarks I might have used to distinguish where I was. The plant life looked like monsters when shrouded in this fog blanket, crouching low, ready to pounce on me as I sprinted past.
My breath condensed in front of me, creating a tiny wisp of a cloud and then disappearing as I sucked more air into my throbbing lungs. I could feel them, they were close, and it seemed they were peeling off the first few layers of my skin and dragging me backwards.
Vaguely familiar signs from shops that had closed long ago haunted the buildings, striking out through the fog at the very last minute. It was a ghost town, sad since Diagon Alley had always been so full of life in my memories. Of course, curfew was over and everyone was locked away, hiding in the corners of their homes and saying their prayers ten times over to the darkness that surrounded them.
Not me. No, dumb Camilla Carwright was sprinting down the middle of Diagon Alley with at least ten dementors at her back. I cursed, pushing myself forward again while trying to ignore the pangs in my chest, the lack of oxygen that was making it's way to my tired limbs.
I hit a particularly high cobblestone, sprawling out onto the ground and rolling forward slightly. I pressed my hands out flat, forcing myself up again, ignoring the complaints that my body seemed to scream at me.
I had to keep running.
The air was colder and breathing felt like a masochistic act, forcing icy chunks into my lungs. I risked a glance back, stumbling as a dementor reached forward, it's gray hands clawing at me. It's faceless body was swirling closer, the black, torn cloak warping strangely behind it. There was a sucking noise, one I'd come to hear in nightmares, and I felt my skin crawl away from my bones, chilling me to my core.
I tried to think of happy things: old friends, Hogwarts, my first kiss, my first car, winning the quidditch cup, anything!
"Expecto Patronum!"
The silver wolf sped from my wand and launched at the dementor. It billowed back immediately, evaporating into the sky. My patronus jogged beside me, it's head swiveling to watch me for a moment, before it shrank away into the fog. A wolf, the symbol of independence. I guess you couldn't get anymore independent than I was now.
I focused on the road again, pushing myself forward, my arms and legs pumping together. Every place seemed closed up, boarded with haphazard wood thrown across windows and doorways. Everything was a mess with various boxes blown open, their contents spilling into the road, crumpled and forgotten. The attacks left people scared.
A small alley led off to the side and I skidded towards it, pausing for a moment to lean in a doorway, heaving breaths in. It was silent here, only empty, stale buildings for company. I coughed, heaving slightly as I clutched my stomach, crunching my eyes closed. It felt like I'd been running for hours and every part of my body ached.
I slid down the wooden door behind me, coughing again as my hands trembled in front of me. My wand, a twelve inch, willow with a dual core of phoenix feathers and veela hairs, shook in my hands, bouncing in front of me. My vision was starting to go in and out as I watched the wand, the intricate designs at the bottom curving to fit my hand perfectly.
I could barely remember the day I'd gotten the wand, here in Diagon Alley. It seemed too far away, the memory's edges frayed and worn with sunspots. I realized, with a start, that Olivander's Wand Shop was nestled in front of me, empty and cold. It seemed so much warmer in my memory, like an orange filter had been placed over the lens of my eyes. My head lolled forward, a drop of blood hitting the cobblestone in front of me with a silent splatter. It was so much warmer then...
•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•
"Ah yes, this should do it."
The old man scurried away from me for a moment, taking the wand that had so obviously not chosen me away with him. I shifted in front of the desk, biting my lip nervously. He took a few boxes down from the very top of the shop, letting them fall without a care to the side. Finally, he slid a box out of the stacks, sliding down the ladder to meet me by his desk again.
"Yes, here we are."
He gently lifted the wand, holding it out to me with a small smile. I swallowed hard, lifting the wand with the tips of my fingers. The handle was intricately designed and fit perfectly against my palm.
"Twelve inches...inflexible willow, you will have to work hard but the outcome will be powerful. A dual core....rare but fitting. Phoenix feathers for strength and adaptability. Veela hairs, though volatile and temperamental, will prove a useful alley to the one who respects it's power."
It felt right, perfect and when the final tests had been performed, I was the owner of my first and only wand. I smiled to myself, paying for the wand and stowing it away in my robes. Outside, the sun was shining and young witches and wizards were shoving through the streets, trying to get everything on their school lists.
"Looks like..."
"We only need..."
"A few more robes and..."
"Then we'll be done."
My head snapped up to see two ginger boys, glancing down at their school lists. They were identical, their bags filled to the brim with items they needed for school. A few feet away, more of their ginger family stood waiting.
Their heads swiveled simultaneously towards me and I took a step back, colliding with the wall behind me. They both cracked matching smiles, stowing their lists away in their bag and walking over.
"So, you're going..."
"To Hogwarts too?"
They nodded towards the letter and list of supplies in my hand. I silently nodded, frowning when they swiped them both away. They quickly scanned through it, their eyebrows furrowing at almost the same time.
"Camilla?"
"That's my name." I crossed my arms over my chest
"But...shouldn't you..."
"Have a Japanese name?"
"I've lived in London my entire life, thank you very much."
"You're here..."
"By yourself?"
"Yes."
I reached forward, trying to grab the papers from their grasps. They both took a step back, looking more than a little amused as I fumed.
"Looks like..."
"You still need to get robes."
They handed the papers back, grinning widely. I tersely nodded, frowning slightly as I tried to figure out what they were getting at. Suddenly, one was on each side of me, their arms around my shoulders.
"You can come with us."
They began walking forward, keeping me planted firmly between them. There was a moment, just a moment, of doubt before a small smile graced my features and the twins squeezed me tightly.
"I'm Fred."
"George."
"Stick with us Cam..."
"We'll help you get what you need."
•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•
My eyes naturally rose to the building in front of me, the wand shop that so many students had come to in their first years of school. My own wand had saved my skin many times over...but then, so had Fred and George.
A billowing noise brought me forward again. I ignored my pained muscles and the cut on my head that simply wouldn't stop bleeding, and pushed myself forward again. I ducked through an alley in front of me, knocking garbage cans and empty boxes back behind me to slow the dementors down.
I forgot the pain in my panic, my feet pounding against the cobblestones as I pulled myself forward. I convinced myself that every few feet I made took me closer to safety, but there was nowhere left to go.
Suddenly, in the middle of the fog, a light shined through, small and relatively obscured. I took off towards it, gasping in freezing air. I skidded to a halt in front of the aging, wooden door, slamming my fists against it. The air stopped moving completely and every breath was painful. I hit my fists against the door again, tears rising in my eyes.
"Sanctuary!" I screamed, continuing the onslaught against the door
The sucking noise was back and I turned, pressing myself against the door. They were coming from both sides of the alley, swarming towards me. I felt sick, my knees weak and jelly-like. There was no hope, not even a glimpse of escape anymore.
For a moment, the world disappeared. I was at my mother's funeral, placing flowers on her casket. I blinked, my breathing shallow as the alley came in and out of focus. I closed my eyes, Dumbledore's dead face filling my mind. Tears were rising in my eyes as I peered into the alley again.
I held my wand out, my knuckles white, my entire arm trembling. My heart wasn't beating in tune, it no longer slammed against the chest, reminding me I was alive. Was I alive?
"Expec-....expect-...argh!"
I hit the floor, head spinning as I was surrounded and quenched with warmth. My eyes opened in time to see the wooden door swing shut, the charm around the building rippling for a moment and then solidifying clear again. I slowly sat up, rubbing my head as my eyes wandered to my saviours.
"Good thing we set up those protective charms ay?" one of them stated, turning their attention to me
"Fred. George." I mumbled, nodding to both of them in turn
"Cam, it's been..." Fred began
"Too long. How is it you always..." George added
"Could tell us apart?" Fred finished
"George is prettier." I joked, watching George smirk at his brother, "Thanks, by the way. Didn't think I was getting out of there this time."
"Our pleasure." they said together, matching grins on their face
I couldn't help but smile at them, letting them drag me to my feet. After that first day in Diagon Alley, we had been inseparable, forming a tight knit group as we made our way through Hogwarts. It felt good to be around my boys again.
"So...this is what you did after school?" I asked, glancing around the shop with a grin
"Welcome to Weasley's Wizard Wheezes!" George stated, holding his hands out proudly as he directed my attention to various products on the shelves
"Very impressive." I replied with a grin, clapping sarcastically
"Oh, we've got it all, from trick wands..."
"To extendable ears..."
"To portable swamps..."
"And everything in between!"
I laughed, my eyes following their hands as they pointed out various things in the shop. Shelves were stacked high with various whirling, swirling, clapping, popping items that I knew neither name nor purpose.
I glanced over at the window, cringing at the dark sky. Breaking curfew was one thing, a thing I'd done multiple times, but running around in the middle of the night was a death wish. I would have to leave soon if I was going to get to some sort of shelter.
"Hey, I'd really like to stay but..." I began, surprised when they both walked back to me, getting in my face with semi-angry expressions
"Leave? Now? If you didn't notice..."
"It's getting dark out there and there's no way..."
"We're letting you leave when it's this dark. You can..."
"Just stay the night here." George finished with a smug smile
I rolled my eyes, smiling again. It was no secret that both the twins were overprotective of me, especially George. I was one of the smallest in our group and when we played quidditch together, George a beater and myself a chaser, he made no secret going out of his way to protect me from the other team.
But after the Yule Ball, that's when things had really changed.
•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•
He was standing over me, a smirk plastered across his fat face. Perhaps if I hadn't been so short, it wouldn't have been so terrifying.
I backed away, pushing myself against the wall and trapping myself in the process. His fingers wrapped around my arms, biting into them, no doubt leaving bruises as reminders of this terrible night. Tears ran down my cheeks, ruining make-up I'd spent at least an hour on earlier in the evening. My dress was torn from running away from him, from the spells he'd cast trying to keep me in place.
It was supposed to be such a good night too.
I'd gone with Cedric Diggory and he had walked me back, like a gentleman, but the moment he left was when Goyle had pounced and attacked me. I trembled as he drew closer, his eyes slowly traveling down my body.
"Stupefy!"
Goyle fell backwards against the ground and I fell away from him, sinking to my knees in sobs. The twins came out of nowhere, Fred grabbing Goyle while George knelt beside me.
After deciding I wasn't seriously hurt, he sat behind me, pulling me tightly against his chest and wrapping me in a protective hug. I turned towards him, letting him wipe the tears away with his fingertips. Finally, he tilted my head up towards him, gently kissing the pain away.
•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•
George led the way to the spare room upstairs without saying a word. I sank away from my memories, focusing on the house in front of me. The store obviously took up most of the building, but the second floor had been converted into a hallway that resembled the burrow in many ways. The sweet feeling of nostalgia tugged at my chest, dragging me forward.
"Here we are. Make yourself at home."
He left after that, leaving me alone in the room. It shouldn't have surprised me. George had never been good in awkward situations with me and after the Yule Ball....well, things had certainly changed between us.
We didn't talk about it afterwards and our friendship seemed as strong as ever. At least to me. Perhaps I had been wrong...
•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•
Everyone cheered down below, hats were thrown into the air, wands raised in celebration as the twins flew away into the distance.
Not me.
I sat alone at the top most tower, staring at their disappearing figures. They'd gone out with a bang, and I admired that, but now? Now it was over. I didn't even get to say goodbye. They'd left me behind.
George had left me behind.
I didn't like to play favourites when it came to the twins because they both meant the world to me, but if I was honest with myself, I would always be closer to George. Now he was gone.
I should have been used to it, at the very least ready for it. My mother, killed by Voldemort, had left me behind with a broken father for the majority of my life. I had relied on the twins, they had helped, made things better, more sane.
But now they were gone and I would have to start over again on my own.
•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•
Perhaps it wouldn't have been so bad if I had gotten a letter, a glimpse of an apology, for what he did. It definitely would have been better if he hadn't gone and found a girlfriend less than a week later.
I huffed slightly, shaking my head to rid the thoughts from my mind. It wasn't my place to tell him who to date, we were just friends. It was my place to look out for him, yes, that was it. My feelings towards the girl were natural. He deserved much better.
I chuckled slightly, throwing my small bag on the bed and sinking down against the mattress. I couldn't remember the last time I'd had a real bed and I immediately lied back against it, despite how dirty and cut up I was.
Yes, George's girlfriend had definitely been a thorn in my side. One I had never really gotten over. I'd only met her once, only by chance at that, but it was enough to tell me I didn't like her at all.
•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•
George and Fred were in trouble.
That was like saying the sun was going to rise in the morning or if you stand out in the rain, you'll get wet. They were always in trouble. And I was always the one getting them out of trouble.
I swerved away from a double decker bus, cursing and throwing the wheel back in the other direction. George and his girlfriend were in the back and slammed against the side of the car while Fred grabbed onto anything available to stay in his seat beside me.
"C'mon, step on it!" Fred hissed, holding onto the door handle as I swerved against to miss another car
"What? She's just a kid."
It was the girl in the back, the new girlfriend. I hissed in frustration, glaring at the road in front of me. Being so small and generally quiet made many people assume that I was younger than I was. It didn't usually bother me. But it wasn't usually coming from a girl I was already predestined to hate.
"Are we stating the obvious now? Okay. You've got a dumb, blonde bitch in the backseat of my beautiful mustang. You had better start explaining what happened before I kick all of you out." I murmured, glaring again
I didn't kick them out. Not that night. I drove the three of them to the burrow, waited for less than a moment for them to clamour out, and then disappeared, leaving them all behind.
I rebelled after that.
Some people blamed it on the fact that I had lost my best friends, others weren't sure. I teamed up with Harry Potter and his friends for a while but it wasn't enough. I needed people who were like me, people who were angry and wanted to get even.
I found that in the Rebels.
•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•
I silently peeled my clothes off in the bathroom, letting them fall beside me on the tiled ground. My leather jacket and hat first, then the belted pants I was wearing, then my fishnets and tight cutoff shirt. Finally, I dragged off my black, fingerless gloves, exposing my wrist.
And my tattoo.
A small cursive f, nestled against my wrist. You had to know it was there to really see it, especially since the ink was white. I traced my finger along the edges, frowning. F was for freedom fighters, a topic that generally drove a stake between George and I. At least, it had the last time we'd talked about it.
•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•
It was Ginny's fault really.
Despite my obvious issues with the twins, or more correctly, with George, I would have done anything for the Weasley family. They had looked after me since I was a child, opening up their family and home to me. There was nothing they could ask that I wouldn't have done.
It had started at Diagon Alley. I was just taking Ginny to grab some books for Hogwarts, the other Weasley's were busy. But then, when some boys began picking on Ginny, I felt the need to protect her.
And so I did.
Ginny had someone convinced me to come back home and get cleaned up. The fight hadn't been pretty on my end, with a gash across my cheek and a couple of badly bruised ribs. Luckily, the other side had gotten it much worse.
Ginny had assured me that the twins wouldn't be there, that they'd moved out long ago and that they had other things to attend to. But of course they were.
I had never been very lucky.
"What are you going to do, Camilla? There won't always be someone to fight."
I flinched, partially because dragging a wet rag across the cut on my cheek hurt and partially because George only ever said "Camilla" when he was angry.
I hadn't talked to either of the twins since they'd left that night, when I'd brought them to home that night. It seemed so long ago.
"There will always be something or someone worth fighting for, George." I mumbled, getting rid of the cut across my cheek with the tip of my wand
"Do you even know the people you're fighting for?" he asked in an exasperated tone, turning me towards him
"George, he killed her. Voldemort killed my mother. He might as well have killed my father." I hissed, ignoring when he flinched at the name, "I don't have anyone left."
"Cam..."
"No, stop! You don't get it..." I began, crossing my arms
"You can't fight everyone else's battles, Camilla!" he screamed
"At least I'm not running away from every battle!" I screamed back
•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•
There were a few scars sporadically placed along my body, cuts and wounds that I hadn't gotten to fast enough. I traced over a few, frowning, before slowly pulling on a red nightgown.
I walked into the dark bedroom, sitting down on the side of the bed and glancing over at the night stand. A small picture of the entire Weasley family greeted me, their smiling faces and waves directed at me.
I smiled slightly, resisting the urge to wave back. Despite the many times George and I had fought after he and Fred left Hogwarts, I had never stopped worrying about them. Things had gone from bad to worse since then, Voldemort gathering support and power. The deaths were stacking up, people were scared, hiding.
I had a radio programmed with me at all times, spewing the latest deaths every night. There were secret messages within the airwaves and I heard every one, desperately seeking out news of Harry or the Weasley's.
That's how I'd heard about his ear.
•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•
I took a deep breath, raising my hand tentatively and then knocking against the door. There was a suspicious shuffle behind the door for a moment and then it cracked open. Professor Remus stared out at me, his eyebrows furrowing.
"When did you first meet me?"
"On the train coming into Hogwarts. You got rid of the dementors. You gave Harry chocolate too." I replied, crossing my arms across my chest
"Sorry, Cam. Can't be too careful in times like these." he replied, opening the door and shoving me inside before slamming the door shut behind me
"Ah, Camilla darling."
Mrs. Weasley stepped from the kitchen to greet me, wrapping me in a hug. I fell against her immediately, grateful for the familiar warmth. She smiled, though her face seemed more worn and stressed than I'd ever remembered before.
"Here to see George I guess?" she asked, walking me towards the kitchen
"I'll see him later. I'm sure he needs his rest." I replied awkwardly, rubbing my neck as I noticed Harry standing off to the side
"Hey Cam."
His voice shook slightly, like he was holding in all his emotions, trying to hold tight to whatever was keeping him sane. I slowly dragged him away, taking sanctuary in the dimly lit hallway.
"Before you say anything..."
"Let me at least start, Harry."
He sighed, smiling sheepishly and nodded. I took a deep breath, leaning against the wall. I'd always thought of Harry as a younger brother of sorts. It was tough, trying to guide him when I honestly had no idea what he was really going through.
"I know you want to leave and battle all this on your own. Here's why your idea sucks: first, leaving right now in the middle of the peak of your emotions will only get you killed and then you're not going to accomplish anything. Second, Hermione and Ron aren't going to sit this one out no matter how hard you try to make them stay. They want to help." I stated quickly, whispering hard to him
He sighed again, hanging his head with a slight nod. I smiled, ruffling his hair a bit.
"If you need anything, anything Harry, come to me." I whispered, waiting for him to nod and then retreating down the dark hallway
I knew where George's room from previous days and nights spent with the Weasley's. I'd been here more often than my own home when I was still in school, picking the more solid Weasley family over my flaky father.
Things had changed so much between us and the world was a much darker place than I remembered it ever being. Our innocent friendship had been stolen away and more than anything, I wanted it back.
I silently knelt beside his bed, gently grabbing his hand and watching his slow breathing. His eyes fluttered open before he focused on me, a small smile crossing his face and crinkling his eyes.
"I didn't think you'd find time for little old me." he joked, sticking out his tongue
I smiled but didn't say anything, keeping his hand in mine. I wanted to remain close, to stay here for as long as I could, before I had to face the real world again.
"You're going away again, aren't you?" he whispered
"Yes."
"This is your way of saying goodbye?"
"I can't think of any other way to do it." I lied, hanging my head slightly
"You were hoping I'd be asleep then?"
"Yes."
"Would you like me to pretend I'm asleep, make it easier on you?"
"No."
It was silent for a moment and he gently squeezed my hand. He shook his head slightly, watching me carefully.
"You don't make any sense, Cam."
I smiled to myself, though tears began forming behind my eyes. I sucked in a breath, trying to keep myself under control.
"I guess you've never made any sense though. Sort of what I like about you." he added, smiling
"I could say the same thing about you, George." I replied, biting my lip
He paused, lifting his hand from mine to brush a few stray pieces of hair from my face. He quickly put his hand back in mine though to keep me from pulling away.
"Would you change your mind if I told you I'd miss you terribly?" he whispered
My face fell again, hidden by my hair. I stared down at the ground, trying to stop the tears desperately.
"Yeah...I didn't really think so." he sighed, propping himself up again and letting go of my hand in the process
He fumbled with something around his neck, pulling it over his head and placing it over mine. The charm fell with a thud against my chest and I glanced down at the shimmering glass ball that shined so brightly in the darkness.
"You'll need it more than me, what with going to whatever dark places you're about to go to." he murmured
I tucked the necklace under my shirt, watching the light fade and finally disappear. It was silent again for a moment before he grabbed my hand, brushing his lips against my knuckles.
"Promise me you'll try to stay safe." he whispered, pulling me into a tight hug
"I promise."
•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•
I glanced down at the necklace, pulling it out and watching the bright light swirl beneath the glass. I'd never taken it off, it had never occurred to me to take if off. The necklace had proven to be more than useful on several occasions.
After that last meeting, I'd immersed myself in rebel activity. It made me forget the people that I was leaving behind, the people that were still in danger, no matter how many deatheaters I killed.
I'd never taken off the necklace, though it hurt terribly to wear it. It was a constant reminder of George, of his anger at my decision to stay with the rebels and continue to fight against Voldemort and his followers.
Blood trickled from my forehead, bringing my most recent memories to mind immediately. I cringed, groaning slightly and pressing my palm against my forehead to stop the headache.
•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•
I had infiltrated a death eater meeting. Everyone said it couldn't be done, that I'd never get past the front door, but I had done it. Lucius Malfoy was the first to suspect anything at all. The rest of the group would have been completely content to discuss their most intimate plans right in front of me.
"Did she go to school with you, Draco?"
The timid boy glanced up at me, making eye contact. I thought he was going to cry, his entire body shaking. He seemed to be asking, begging, for me to save him from whatever was going on.
"I'm not sure." he whispered, his voice cracking slightly
"Well, she certainly wasn't in Slytherin then, was she?"
Draco flinched, making a face that crossed somewhere between pity for me and disgust for himself. I backed away slightly, my heart beating faster.
"I...I'm not..."
"Come now Draco, we don't have all day."
The lady in the back was talking, Bellatrix Lestrange. She glared blatantly at me, crossing her arms with a huff. Draco bit his lip, unable to conjure up anymore words. I was surprised at his response, at the overwhelmingly moral core that was beginning to shine through. I had always found the Malfoy's revolting but, perhaps, there would be at least one of them that I would be less inclined to hurt.
Suddenly, Bellatrix snapped her wand up, lifting my arm and pulling my sleeves away. They pulled away easily and my tattoo showed through clearly.
Lucius, who was suspicious in the first place, was also the first to react, hitting me hard with the end of his cane. I was sent reeling towards the door, apparating as soon as I got there into the street. That's when the dementors had been sent after me.
•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•
Blood was still spilling from the cut and I stood up, lifting the necklace from beneath my shirt and glancing in a mirror to try to stop it. That's when I realized someone else was in the room. Their soft breathing tipped me off and I froze, grabbing my wand from the top of the bed. I was beside him in an instant, pressing my wand against his neck.
"If this is your definition of foreplay, I'm going to have to get my wand," he joked, and I quickly realized it was George
I sighed, pulling away and sitting down on the edge of the bed and silently slipping the necklace back beneath my shirt. He chuckled, sitting down beside me with a sigh. The light mood was cut short though and he frowned, gently grabbing my wrist and turning my whole arm over.
"So, you joined after all." he mumbled, letting go of my arm
"I couldn't sit by on the sidelines while they committed murder. I needed to do something." I replied, staring down at the ground
"They're calling you guys vigilantes." he said in a matter of fact tone
"At least we're fighting back." I defended, standing
"Cam...jesus, I just don't want to see you getting hurt." he admitted
"You didn't seem so concerned when you left." I muttered childishly, crossing my arms
"I left? What about you? You're just as guilty!" he yelled, standing to face me
He caught himself though, pulling back and sitting down on the edge of the bed with a sigh. He ran his fingers through his hair, staring down at the ground with a pained expression.
"You always do this. You bring out the worst in me." he whispered
"George...look, I don't want to fight. I'll be out of your hair by tomorrow." I muttered, sitting down beside him
"You know that's not what I want." he stated, glancing over at me
"I can honestly say I have no idea what you want." I replied, shrugging slightly
He scowled slightly but didn't admit to wanting anything at all. It was quiet as we both sulked, crossing our arms across our chests. Finally, George pulled his wand from his pocket, turning me to face him.
"I don't need..."
"Stop being a child and..."
"I'll be fine."
"Just let me help." he stated, batting my hands away
I sighed, rolling my eyes as he carefully placed the tip of his wand next to my forehead, silently healing the cut away. When he was happy that it was healed, he pulled away, flicking the wand towards the bathroom and sending a rag to his outstretched hand.
He dropped his wand, putting one hand behind my head to keep me in place while gently rubbing the leftover blood from my forehead and cheek. I closed my eyes, content for just a moment to be here with him. Even when he pulled the rag away, I kept my eyes closed, kept the moment locked away in my mind.
Which is probably why is came as such as surprise me his lips brushed against mine.
"I want you." he whispered, "I want you to be safe and happy and content...with me."
"I don't believe..." I began, stiffening
"God damnit, Cam, what do I have to do? If I could go back, I would, but I can't!" he stated, grabbing me to keep me from moving away from him
"I don't...get off me!" I hissed, twisting away
"No." he murmured, "Not anymore. Not everything is a fight."
Somehow we had managed to wrestle back against the bed. He had me pinned, though I don't think either of us was trying very hard, and I relaxed for a moment, keeping my eyes shut tightly as though that would block out the honesty in his words.
"You don't always have to fight." he whispered
I slowly opened my eyes, slowly let the first couple of tears trickle down to the bed. The tears I'd never cried, had never wanted to cry, pushed their way to the surface as he hovered above me. Finally, without a moment of doubt or hesitation, my fingers twisted into his hair and brought his face down to mine.
He went without a fight, one hand scooping under my back and holding me against him while the other cupped my face. I pressed myself closer, my hands traveling down to his back, my fingertips biting into his skin.
There was a moments pause when he pulled away, just far enough to kiss his way across my cheek and down my neck. My fingertips dug deeper, my lungs refusing to work. I managed to kiss his cheek, butterfly kissing to his ear until he captured my lips again with his own.
His fingertips dragged down my side and I stiffened in pain, my eyes crunching shut. He slowly pulled away, pressing his palm lightly against my ribs and I flinched again.
"What'd they do to you, Cam?" he breathed
I brushed my fingertips against the side of his head, the small scar where his ear had been. His eyes closed immediately, a silent connection between the two of us. He leaned back down, kissing me hard again.
Suddenly, my necklace rolled to the side, illuminating our faces, merely whispers away from each other. I gently brushed my lips against his again before relaxing back against the bed, my breathing choppy and out of tune.
"Dark times huh?" he whispered, pulling the necklace up to inspect it
"Only darker with me around." I breathed as he dropped the necklace back to my chest
He brushed this thumb against my cheek, his eyebrows furrowing as I made eye contact, holding him there, staring deep into eyes that I'd stared into so many times in the past.
"Stay here." he breathed, leaning down and laying his head against my shoulder, "Stay here with me."
My eyes crunched closed as he wrapped his arms around me, pressing his face against my neck. I bit my lip, trying desperately to find words that would comfort us both. None came to mind so I stayed silent, keeping him beside me, keeping him in my arms.
"You know I can't." I whispered
He pulled away, sitting up again. I waited for him to say something, even welcomed the idea of him screaming and yelling at me. Perhaps if he continued at it long enough, I'd cave and stay. I'd do what was best for me instead of trying to live up to standards set by masochistic fairy tale heroes.
But he didn't say anything. He simply shook his head, as though he'd seem it coming all along, and walked out of the room.
And with that, I turned over on my side and waited for the sun to rise.
•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•
That night I dreamed.
George and I were at Hogwarts, back before all hell had broken loose. We were sitting beside the fire in the Gryffindor common room, mulling over something George was holding.
The necklace, the one he'd given me before I left. He held it in front of him, letting it dangle from his fingertips.
"Where'd you get it?" I mumbled, frowning
"Nicked it from Fliche's office." he replied proudly
"What's it do?"
"Nothing yet." he replied, grinning mischievously as he laid it out on the table
"It's too pretty to waste on one of your pranks." I muttered, picking it up and letting the small, glass orb rest in my palm
"Well, what's it good for then?"
He had crossed his arms, huffing slightly in exasperation. I smiled slightly to myself, laying the necklace out on the table in front of us again.
"We need more light in the world." I whispered, lightly tapping the orb with my wand
It immediately buzzed with light, illuminating George's face. He looked more appeased, genuinely content with the necklace. I silently draped it over his neck, letting it bounce against his chest lightly.
And then the two of us leaned back against the couch together, wrapped in each others arms, and watched the fire slowly flicker and die out in front of us.
•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•∞•
I stood at the bottom of the stairs, the store quiet and empty behind me. I wanted to walk away silently, leave them behind and never come back to disrupt their lives again. But I couldn't. Not this time.
I glanced through the first aisle of strange contraptions the twins had come up with, tracing my finger over sharp edges and curved domes. My mind wandered as I shuffled down the aisle, pausing near the back of the store. It was where the offices were, tucked away from the rest of the store.
Fred's was first, the door propped open with stacks of books and overflowing papers. I moved past it, cringing to a stop in front of George's door. Above it, written in lopsided cursive, was: "Bring light into the world."
I closed my eyes, biting my lip. The thing I wanted most in life, the thing I'd been striving for, was peace. For things to go back to the way they were before Voldemort had ruined it all. And the only thing I'd created out of all of it was more chaos, more pain.
"Cam?"
"Bring light into the world." I whispered, "How are you doing that?"
George slowly walked closer, standing beside me and staring up at the engraving. His eyebrows furrowed slightly as he thought the question over before he slowly wrapped an arm around my shoulders.
"One day at a time."
"Here?"
"I suppose it isn't as glorious as chasing after death eaters every day or fighting off dementors, but yeah, I like to think we're bringing a little light into the world. Making people smile, making them forget that outside there's a world of destruction going on." he replied, shrugging slightly
"I don't know what to do anymore." I breathed, twisting the necklace in my fingertips
"Well, you should never decide something on an empty stomach." he mumbled, squeezing me and kissing the top of my head, "Isn't that right, Fred?"
"Quite right, George. It just so happens I'm about to make breakfast too." Fred muttered with a yawn, winking at me
"You should stay a while." George muttered
"Rest your mind." Fred added as he walked to the kitchen
"Create your light."
George whispered it as Fred walked away, giving me an all-knowing glance, before following after his brother. I stared up at the sign again, dragging the necklace over my head with a sigh.
"Create your light." I mumbled, nodding once slightly to myself
And with that I draped the necklace over the last "t" at the end of the engraving and turned towards the kitchen to help the twins and hopefully create some light of my own.
♠ ♠ ♠
Just a quick one-shot to hold people over while I work on other projects.Hope you like it!
Have you seen the new harry potter movie??