I've Got a Secret

Oh God, was I nervous.

I paced Brendon's driveway, trying to get the courage to go knock on the door. I was debating with myself, trying to decide whether or not I should be so bold.

I decided for it.

The thing that I was wondering was whether or not Brendon's parents know who I am. I've never met them, of course. Brendon could have told them, but maybe didn't.

I knocked on the door, except it came out... weirdly. It was like a tap then a giant bang.

A middle aged woman answered the door. She has mild crows feet, along with a few strands of gray hair. I have to assume it is his mother; she is too young to be a grandmother and too old for a sister.

"Yes?" She waited for me to answer. I just took out the note I prepared.

Hi, can I talk to Brendon?

She read the note, looked at me, and moved aside. She ushered me into the house, pointing up the stairs. "Second door on the right."

I climbed the stairs, and walked up to his door. I wiped my sweaty palms on my jeans, and knocked on the door.

"Come in."

I opened the door, not sure of what I was expecting.

Brendon was sitting on his bed. He was writting something, and when I looked closer, I realized it was homework. He barely looked up, but when he saw it was me, he dropped his book and paper.

"What are you doing here?"

"I...I just wanted to talk to you." I moved a blonde strand from my eyes. "I was thinking...and...I dont get it. Whats wrong with this? Your gay, I'm a guy. Whats so difficult about dating?"

He sighed, "You just don't get it. My parents would never accept this 'lifestyle.' They think it's a sin to..." He trailed off. His voice was quite; probably because he didn't want his parents to hear. "They want me to date a girl. They don't understand why I havent had a girlfriend yet, and-" He stopped his rambeling abruptly.
"And?"

"Um, and when you came along- like when you were a girl- I thought that you could be my girlfriend so they would be happy with me for once."

"Brendon," I started slowly. "I can pretend to be a girl for your parents."

His jaw dropped. "Y-you can? Wouldn't you want to be yourself, though?"

"Are you kidding?" I laughed. "I can't be myself with anyone excepet Spencer. Anyone else would call me a freak. So why can't I help both you and myself?"

"You can be yourself around me." He looked down at the carpeted floor.

The door opened, and Brendons mother stood at the door. "Brendon, it's dinner time. Would your friend like to stay? We're having pizza."

Brendon looked at me, "Would you?"

I nodded weakly.

His mom smiled wryly. "May I ask what your name is?"

Brendon answered for me, "This is Jane. We go to school toghether."

"Alright, well be ready for dinner in a few minutes. Brendon, go wash up while your father and I get the table ready." She left, closing the door behind her.

Brendon stood up from his bed. "So, what should I call you?"

"In public, I'm Jane. When we're sure no one else is around, I'm Ryan."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"So Jane," Boyd asked me. Brendon's parents insisted on me calling them by their first names. "Which church do you go to?"

I scribbled another note onto my notepad. They keep forgetting that I can't talk, otherwise they might not be asking me so many questions.

I still haven't found one yet, I just moved here.

I have lie to his parents, considering how I haven't gone to church in five years. My mom is always too tired from work while my dad works Sunday.

"Maybe you should go to church with us sometime." Grace, Brendon's mom, piped in. "It's really close, only a few blocks away. The people there are so] nice."

Oh, so this is the church they keep talking about. I don't think I will mention how I heard that was the place religous cults meet...

I finished my plate, and nodded for the millionth time.

Brendon's sister was absent, but I'd heard alot of her and his other sibilings. All of which were attending BYU.

It's getting late, I think I should be getting home.

I wrote my excuse, which was yet another lie. My parents are never home til midnight and could care less.

"Walk her out, Brendon." Boyd stood up. "It was nice to meet you, Jane. You should come over again."

Brendon stood up and walked towards the door. I trailed behind him, waving awkwardly to his parents.

"Sorry that was so awkward," he muttered to me.

"It's okay," I muttered back.

After yet another awkward silence on his porch, he opened his mouth. "So, Ryan...I was wondering if you would like to go watch a movie or something tommorrow..." He looked up behind his eyelashes shyly.

I smiled, "Yes."