I've Got a Secret

That smile was still plastered to my face. It just was glued there.

I stumbled into the living room. No, I am not drunk, but I am happy. For once.

Maybe things will work out, finally?

Maybe?

"How will we tell Ryan?!" My mom asked my dad from the kitchen.

This brought me down a bit. What would my mom want to tell me? I mean, what could they have to tell me? My parents barely know each other, they are just strangers who sleep in the same bed from midnight to sun-rise.

Wait a second...

Oh shit. Divorce? Really?

"We need to sit down with him tonight, when he gets home." My father said solomenly.

I froze in the middle of the hallway. Did they even notice I was home? Did they even care? Did my happiness even matter?

"No," my mother started. "Not tonight. He is going to be happy, do it in the morning."

He is going to be happy.

Pity, just fucking pity. My own parents don't want to ruin my small happiness with their fuck-up's. Fuck this, Mom and Dad. I'll ruin my own happiness with my bitterness.

I shuffeled into my bedroom, peeled mosto f my clothes off so I was only in my boxers, and laid there in bed.

All night; thinking about this. Somehing always has to go wrong. It was bad enough my parents barely spoke, that when they did speak they were yelling at each other. This take's the cake.

I looked at the clock; 6:34.

What the hell, I give up. I'll go to school without sleep. I just need to get out of here now so my parents don't have to talk with me.

I pulled on some clothes I found on the floor and didn't bother with my smudged eyeliner. I found my wig, pulled it on along with my socks and shoes.

I crept into the living room to find my dad on the couch, fast asleep. I scooped up the car keyes from the coffee table.

The car clock says that it is about the usual time I get to school.

I'd been sitting in the school parking lot for about an hour now, staring at the steering wheel in silence.

Two things came to mind.

First, I wonder how perfect Brendon feels right now with his perfect life. Perfect parents making him breakfast, perfect reputation, perfect grades.

Second, how this will affect our relationship. Brendon must think I'm a charity case now, just begging for him to date me and mislook how fucked I am.

There was a tap on the window, interupting my fucked up thoughts about how fucked up me and my fucked up parents are.

Guess who it was? Brendon; of course. His smiling face appeared in the passenger seat window.

He mouthed the words 'hey.'

I rolled down my window, and just looked up at him. I forgot to mention his perfect looks, too.

He smiled, but I didn't. His eyebrows knotted, "Are you okay?" He asked.

"No. Why the hell should I?" I raised an eyebrow for no reason. There were no kids in the parking lot, so it was fine to talk for once.

"Um, do you wanna talk about it? Did I do something?" He tapped his fingers on the hood of the car.

"No. Why would I want to talk about how perfect you are and how un-perfect I am?" I hauled my ass out of the car.

"Okay...Why would you think I was perfect and you aren't?"

"Because you have everything!" I mumbled as I stormed off in my own self fury.

The kid I bumped into dropped his books, spilling them on the floor. "Shit," he groaned.

I didn't attempt to write anything on my notepad, but I did help him pick up his stuff. The awkward silence was better than an awkward conversation.

But with my luck, he just had to be a chatty one. "Aren't you Jane?" I nodded. "Your Brendon's girlfriend, right?" I nodded again.

There wasn't much conversation after that, other than him introducing himself as Jon. When I thought of it more, I remembered that I sometimes see him hanging out with Brendon.

Jon rushed off down the hallway. I didn't bother getting up, I just slumped over on the floor; my back rested against the wall. This part of the hall was mostly deserted, except for the few people stuffing books into lockers before class.

Maybe I was a little harsh...

Yeah, I was harsh. I shouldn't have been that much of a bitch to Brendon.

My life was actually pretty good before the very end of last night, which was what sent me off my rocker.

Brendon isn't perfect, I guess, but he is close. He does have kinda shit parents.

But his parents aren't divorcing. That annoying voice in my head thought.

Go fuck yourself, pessimistic Ryan. My optimistic side thought. Ha, my optimistic side cussed; I smiled to myself.

"We need to talk." Brendon suddenly hovered over me. His hands rested on his broad hips. He looked serious. I hoped that it wasn't about my parking lot freak out and he could just move on about that, but at the same time I hoped it was so there wasn't another issue at hand.

Oh god, how many times will I hear those words in my lifetime?