I've Got a Secret

"Ross! What the hell is the matter with you!?" Spencer exclaimed, barging back unto the house. He looked livid. "You can't just fucking lock me outside like that! Everything I'm doing, I'm doing for you! And what happened? Why did he just barge out looking upset? Ryan!" 

I had sort of stopped listening. I was still in shock. Was this really happening? Is he seriously gay? Should I be excited? Disappointed? Should I tell him the truth too? Is it worth it to expose my secret? Would he think I'm a freak? Would he be mad that I lied to him? Would he tell the entire school? Is it worth the risk?

Fuck. So many questions. 

"Ryan!" Spencer exclaimed, smacking the back of my head, causing my wig to fall off.

"Ow!" I exclaimed, grabbing the back if my head. 

"What. Happened." he asked rather impatiently. 

I looked at him with a serious face. 

"Spencer, he just came out to me."

~*~

"Ryan, I think this is a really bad idea." Spencer preached to me as we walked down the hallway. I ignored him. He's starting to sound like a broken record. 

He sighed. "I guess I can't stop you though you stubborn bastard. It doesn't matter what I say does it?"

I looked at him and smirked. 

"Jane, just please be careful. I really don't want to see you get hurt. Mentally, or physically for that matter." he said. 

As annoying as Spencer can be, he's really just looking out for me. Like an older (or younger) brother, or a mother. I stopped and wrapped my arms around him in a reassuring hug. 

"Don't worry. I'll be fine." I whispered in his ear. 

He pulled away and rolled his eyes. "That's what you always say." he paused. "I've got to go to class. If you're going to get this done, you better do it now. Before Brendon gets to class."

I nodded and he walked off. I haven't seen Brendon all day, so I haven't been able to confront him. I'm sure he's just avoiding me. So I'm going to have to be sneaky about this. 

I went and hid by the bathroom closest to his next class. I would have to ambush him and drag him in there to get him to listen to me. 

Eventually, he came walking slowly around the corner, all by himself. It's weird that his friends aren't around, but perfect at the same time. 

I popped out from my hiding spot, and before he had a chance to look up, I was pushing him into the mens bathroom. 

"What the hell-" he stopper when he saw it was me. He looked surprised, and a little scared to be honest. I held up a finger, signaling him to wait a second, while I checked all the stalls to make sure we were alone. 

I then turned around to look at him, and took a deep breath. I was unsurprisingly nervous. 

"Look Jane, I'm really sorry about what happened, I mean, I know I just kind of left and everything without much of an explanation, and I know I've been avoiding you but-" 

I put my hand over his mouth to quit his blabbering. He then looked at me with desperate eyes. I let go and pulled a piece of paper out of my pocket, with a message I had previously written. 

I gave it to him with a shaky hand. He took it and opened it slowly. 

Brendon's POV

You were honest with me last night. And I feel I should do the same. I have a secret, and I think you should know. Just, please don't be mad at me. It read.

I wasn't sure what to think. So she wasn't mad at me? 

"W-What is it?" I asked nervously. She looked scared shitless. What's so terrible that she's literally shaking with anxiety, and pulling me into the bathroom before class to tell me about? 

She looked down at the floor, and reached up, grabbing hold of her blonde curly hair. Then she swiftly yanked it off. 

I stared in confusion for a second. Under her wig was short brown hair. I scrunched my eyebrows together. This was her secret?

"So you're a brunette?" I asked. 

She looked at me almost incredulously, then shook her head. She then began to unbutton her shirt. 

My eyes widened and I quickly looked away. 

"Woah there sweetie, slow down. I told you, I'm gay." 

There was a pause. 

"Look at me you idiot." a voice said. My head snapped around, my eyes even wider if possible. 

"D-Did you just t-talk?" I stuttered. 

The incredulous look returned. 

Wait a minute. That wasn't a girls voice. 

"You idiot. I'm a guy." She- He said. 

My jaw dropped, and I sat frozen in shock. 

"W-What?" was all I was able to force out of my mouth. 

My eyes grazed over the flat planes of her.... his.... flat chest, the boyish haircut, and the extremely long masculine fingers.  

A boy? I've been dating a boy and I didn't even know it? 

This has to be some sort of joke. I bet Gabe is behind it. Probably trying to embarrass me. 

I laughed, and he gave me a strange look. 

"This was all some sort of huge prank wasn't it?" I asked. "Is Gabe behind this? That fucker is so dead. Who are you anyway?" I asked. 

The strange boy closed his eyes and rubbed his temples.

"It's not a joke." he mumbled. "Gabe has nothing to do with this. I don't even know the guy." he mumbled in his deep voice. 

"Then... What? What the fuck is going on?" I demanded. 

"My name is Ryan Ross." he said looking at me. 

"Why the hell were you dressed as a girl? Wait. Are you like, transexual?" I asked. 

He sighed and shook his head. 

"No. I'm not. Look, are you going to keep asking questions or let me explain?" the boy said. 

"Fine. You better explain before I go to the principal." I said. He rolled his eyes. 

He sighed before continuing. "Last year, at my old school, I was nearly beat to death for being gay. Those lowlifes put me in the fucking hospital just because I was different. And the thing is, I didn't tell anyone but Spencer, who definitely didn't tell anybody. They just knew. They could tell by the way I walked, talked, and dressed. So one day after school, they cornered me, and yeah..." he paused. "I had to change schools obviously. And I was afraid of it happening again. I didn't want to be bullied again. So i came up with this brilliant idea... And that's why Spencer is so overly protective, and kind of a jerk to you guys. He's looking out for me."

By the end of his story he had tears in his eyes. This was the kid everyone was talking about. 

This was the one that made the news and everyone assumed moved away after the incident. 

This boy was gay like me, only he got punished for it. 

"Look, Brendon, I'm sorry. I really am. But I like you. A lot." he mumbled the last part. 

I stared at him blankly. 

"Please don't tell anyone." he begged. "And I get that you probably don't like me back...."

"I don't know you." I mumbled. "And you lied to me." 

"I'm sorry." he said again, avoiding my gaze and buttoning back up his shirt. 

"Look, I get why you did it." I said. "I just. I just don't know what to think." I said a little harsher then necessary. 

The poor kid looked like he was trying not to cry. 

"I- I leave you alone then." he said, putting his wig back on. 

"I promise I won't tell anyone." I said. "I don't know if I can deal with this right now." I said leaving the bathroom.