Tessellate

“Okay, guys.” I cleared my throat, avoiding eye contact with my audience—Alex Gaskarth, Rian Dawson, Zack Merrik, and Jack Barakat. “I called this meeting together because…” I took a deep breath. “I—I decided that taking that year off would be a bad decision. I’m going to UGA.”

All motion stopped. Rian stopped drumming, Alex stopped messing with Zack’s hair, and Jack put down the paper plane he was making. “Wait—what?” Jack blurted out.

The other stared at me silently. I twisted my fingers around nervously. “Well—I mean, I finished all my core classes, and now I’m studying to be a forensic scientist, so maybe taking that year off isn’t the greatest idea.”

“But Kristen,” Alex blurted, “you’re our best friend. You can’t just fucking up and leave in the middle of the tour.”

I sighed. “I’m sorry—”

“Are you sure this is why you’re leaving? Is there another reason?” Rian demanded.

Another reason? “No.” Yes.

“Are you sure about this?” Jack asked.

“Yes.” No.

Okay, so I wasn’t being totally truthful with the guys. I mean, I guess college was part of it, but most of it was because I was pretty much, idiotically in love with Zack.

Who, over the past few months, I had seen kiss a billion girls and watched him drunkenly stumble into bathrooms or the bunk with.

The guys had been my friends since birth. But there was no way I was going to tell them the truth.

--

“You’re an idiot,” was the first thing Kat greeted me with.

“Well, good to see you too, ya hoe.”

Kat grimaced. “You know what I meant.” Her long almost-black hair hung to the middle of her back. Kat’s Asian, like me, except I’m Chinese and she’s Indian. She was wearing a We The Kings shirt, similar to the BMTH one I was wearing, black skinny jeans, and checkered slip on Vans. Her eyes ran over me, and when she stopped at my beat up Vans, she said, “Damn. You need new shoes.”

I shrugged in reply. The flight had drained me.

“Ah, come on. You may have made a stupid choice, but we’ll have fun. At least we get to share a dorm.” And with that, she dragged me out of the cool airport and into the Georgia heat.

--

“Hey, Kristen!” Alex waved, his image slightly blurry in the Skype webcam chat. Jack passed by and waved, then walked out of the room.

I waved and grinned. “Where’s Zack?”

Alex and Rian exchanged glances. “He’s… in the shower,” Rian finally said.

“So, someone’s turning twenty-one soon,” Alex cooed, and I couldn’t help but laugh.

“Fuck!” I heard Jack yell, and I saw him run across the room. “I gotta buy a present!”

Kat, who was sitting on her bed reading a book, laughed, and I knew she had been listening.

Alex rolled his eyes. “So, we feel bad since we’re not going to be there to celebrate with you. We’re stuck in New York for this interview with MTV on Saturday. So…”

Rian held up two plane tickets. “We’re flying you and your friend up here for your birthday party!” he yelled.

I heard Kat say, “Holy shit.”

“Holy shit,” I echoed.

“So we’ll see you Friday?” Alex asked.

I nodded. “You bet your ass!”

“This ass?” Rian looked at his butt. “No thanks. I like mine.”

--

“1, 2, 3,” Alex counted off, “HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” Everyone screamed with him.

I laughed as this huge cake was put in front of me. Soon, shots were handed out, the music was turned up, and everyone in the club started dancing.

Kat sat next to me, refusing to drink (she was the “designated decision maker”) and took the seventh shot out of my hand and gave it to Jack, who had too much to drink already, but he was used to being drunk anyways.

After about an hour, the only sober person in the room was Kat. I must admit, I gained a lot of respect for the girl. She also managed to evade the lips of drunken guys—even the hot ones—making sure to stay faithful to her boyfriend back home. “I have to go to the bathroom,” I slurred to her.

She nodded, grimacing as Jack passed out next to her.

I stumbled along the corridor, tripping over my heels as the lights flashed. I made it to the bathroom. I did my business, and opened the stall door. I stumbled over to the sink to wash my hands. As I did so, I looked in the mirror and saw a couple making out in the corner. Upon further inspection, I discovered that it was Zack and yet another girl.

My stomach began to ache, and my head started pounding, and I turned around and stumbled back into the stall, where I then threw up. I stumbled back out and grabbed a paper towel to wipe my mouth on. My head, clouded by the alcohol, began to clear. “You!” I yelled.

Zack and the girl stopped making out. They turned and looked at me.

“What?” Zack asked. The girl glared at me.

“You stupid fucker,” I hissed. “It’s my birthday. You cannot hold your damn hormones for a day? Or at least, you could look and realize that there’s someone right here in front of you. But no!” I yelled. “You just have to be a damn whore!” I spun around—a bad decision, when you’re drunk—and almost crashed into the door. Not one to be stopped by humiliation, I flung the door open and stormed down the hallway to find Kat and leave.

--

Saturday morning. Open eyes. Insert splitting headache. “Fuck,” I whispered, sitting up.

“Here.” Kat handed me a glass of water and a Tylenol.

I nodded thanks—she’d know what I meant—and took the pill and glass from her. As soon as I swallowed the pill, I laid back down on my bed.

I spent the rest of the day alternating between updating Mibba, sleeping, and watching TV. Six o’clock rolled around, and I faithfully tuned into MTV to see the interview, a cup of coffee in my hand. The interview started like it normally does, asking the guys about their music and latest album.

“So how’s the tour going so far?” the interviewer asked.

“Well,” Alex started, “it’s pretty good, aide from the fact that our best friend we were taking around with us decided to go to UGA.”

My phone buzzed. I checked it, to find a text from Rian. Are you watching MTV?

Duh, I typed. I miss you guys. Make sure Jack doesn’t say anything too stupid. Or Alex. He has his moments.

“Oh?” the interviewer asked.

“Yeah,” Jack chimed in. “It’s shit. Oh, am I allowed to say that on MTV? Shit?” Each time he said the word, it was bleeped out. “Is it censored? Oh, okay, then it’s shit. We miss her.” The audience laughed.

I cracked a smile. Jack was an idiot, but I loved him.

Too late, Rian texted back.

As far as stupid things he’s said on nation TV, that wasn’t too bad, I texted back.

“Well, I’m sure she misses you guys,” the interviewer commented.

“Oh, we’re sure she does. But we talk to her every day,” Rian jumped in. “I’m texting her right now, actually. We’re talking about Jack’s lack of filter on TV.”

Everyone laughed.

“Nothing to say, Zack?” the interviewer asked. “You seem awfully quiet.”

Zack shifted on the couch nervously.

“He just feels bad,” Rian clapped Zack on the back.

“About?”

Zack sighed. “I haven’t treated her the best over the past few months.”

I scowled.

“I’m sure she’s okay,” the interviewer said.

“Oh, she’s not.” Jack shook his head. “Zack fucked up last night.”

Alex nodded. “Sure did. See, he—”

“At least let me tell it!” Zack exclaimed. “Okay, see, I kind of have feelings for her. But I didn’t like she’d feel the same. So I sleep around. It makes me feel better. I just find a whore… but then it’s done, and I’m back to where I’ve started. I know her really well. She’s one of my best friends. Right now, she’s sitting on the couch, watching this, getting increasingly annoyed, drinking a cup of coffee—with only cream, she likes it simple—and still pissed off.”

I set my coffee down and crossed my arms, as if to pretend he was wrong about me. I picked up the remote and turned off the TV.

“Hey Kristen, I’m going out, okay?” Kat called from the bathroom.

“Gotta hot date?” I winked.

She laughed. I knew she was going out with Duncan, her boyfriend. She grabbed her purse and walked out, shutting the door behind her.

A few hours passed. I spent my time doing crossword puzzles, like the nerd I am.
Someone knocked on the door. “Did you forget your keys?” I yelled as I got up, figuring it was Kat. I swung the door open to reveal Zack. I stared at him, then shut the door. Before I could, Zack stuck a foot out. I was tempted to push on the door, but I instead turned around and walked away from the door. I stopped in the middle of the room, still not facing him, and asked, “How’d you get here so fast?”

“Flew,” he simply said.

“Fly back, then,” I replied.

He sighed. “Kristen, I love you.”

“No, you love your whores.”

“I know you never listen to me—”

“—just go and get laid and—”

“—but maybe just this once you might—”

“—think you can come here and expect me to fall into your arms—”

“—because I love you, Kristen, I really—”

“—but no.”

“—really do.”

I turned around and stared at him. “Get out.”

He walked towards me, eyes stormy.

“Zack. Get the fuck out,” I hissed.

He stood in front of me. I stared ahead, straight at his chest, his tall figure towering over my 5’2 one. I felt his stare.

He walked forward, forcing me to walk backward, until I hit the wall. He leaned down and placed his lips in front of mine. His breath smelled like candy. “I love you, dammit. And I know you still love me.” His pressed his lips to mine, and kissed me, hard, like I’d always wanted him to. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and his arms circled around my waist. He pulled away, breathing hard.

“We tessellate,” was all he said, before pressing his lips to mine once more.