Help Me

I couldn’t control the tears that were free falling down my cheeks. Jordan was gone. I watched him walk out of my life because I couldn’t speak up. And now, I’m going to be left here, to raise our child alone.

I didn’t bother to try and stop the tears. I walked into the chapel, where Elvis and our witnesses were standing with utterly confused faces.

“You can leave,” I sobbed. “There isn’t going to be a wedding.” I didn’t wait for a response as I turned around and left. I walked right out of the chapel without saying another word.

I went straight back to the hotel, going into our guest suite. Well… his guest suite I guess. He was paying for it, but when I had gotten back, all of his stuff was gone. There was a note on the table in the kitchen. I picked it up. It was from Jordan.

“We’ll figure out when you can get your stuff from my apartment when we get back to Pittsburgh. You can keep the ring if you want. Do whatever you want with it. I won’t need it.”

I looked at the engagement ring on my finger. I slid it off and threw it at the wall with all my might. I didn’t care where it landed. I was in hysterics at this point. I sulked into the bedroom only to find a plate of chocolate covered strawberries on the bed. Jordan must have ordered them for when we got back. I picked up the rectangular plate and threw them at the bedroom wall. The plate shattered into dozens of pieces. I collapsed into the bed thinking of how my life is going to shatter, just like the plate did.

I’m going to be a single mom. I’m not going to have a place to live. I might lose my job. My child won’t deserve the life it’s going to have. It's not going to be fair for it to have a horrible life because of my mistakes. I couldn't let that happen. I had to fix this.

I picked myself up off the bed, marching out of the suite and over to the elevators. I didn't look at myself in any of the mirrors, not wanting to see how crappy I looked. I was still full out crying, strangers staring at me as they walked by.

I made my way down to the lobby, stumbling my way over to the front desk. The man behind the desk gave me an angry glare. I don't think he appreciated me sobbing in the middle of his lobby.

"Can you please tell me where Jordan Staal's room is?" I asked. I had managed to calm myself down a little bit. I wiped underneath my eyes, hoping to get some of the make-up off. I had probably only made it worse.

“I’m sorry but room numbers are confidential information and cannot be given to anyone,” he responded. He was like a robot, spewing out all the information that I didn’t want to hear.

“Please. You… you don’t understand.” I started to cry more now, just thinking of why I was asking for this information. “We were supposed to get married today.”

“I’m sorry but I still cannot give you this information.”

“But he’s the father of my child!” I screamed. The lobby went silent, all heads turning towards me.

“Really, Jessica? More lies? Haven’t you said enough of those today?” I stood there, frozen, not knowing what to do. Jordan was right behind me. I had just said that he is going to be a father, and he doesn’t believe me. “I’m sorry about her. I’ll deal with her.” He grabbed me by the shoulders, leading me towards the bathrooms, where there was a little more privacy. “Jessica, what didn’t you understand
when I said it was over? Can’t you just move on?” He was very frustrated with me. I could tell that when he started pulling on his hair.

“Can I… please… just explain?” I asked through the sobs.

“I don’t think there’s anything to explain, but fine. If you’re so content on explaining yourself then go right ahead,” he snapped.

I didn’t know where to start and what to say. I opened my mouth and whatever came out first was where I was going to start. “I’m sorry.” I looked up at Jordan, who rolled his eyes at me. As soon as he turned around and took one step away from me, I started to panic. “Jordan, please. I love you. I always have and I always will. It was never about the money, ever. You have to believe me,” I begged. He was about five steps from me when he stopped. He didn’t turn around, but he did speak.

“Then what were you lying about?”

“This morning. When you asked why I was throwing up. It wasn’t from nerves; planes don’t do anything to me.”

“You mean… It was?” he asked without even saying the words.

“Yes Jordan." I had to stop for a second to swallow the lump in my throat. Telling him is harder than I thought it would be. The fear of him leaving me was what was getting me nervous. "I'm pregnant." I closed my eyes and turned away from him, not wanting to see his reaction. I clutched my stomach and rested my forhead against the wall. I could hear Jordan slowly let out a breath of air. I could imagine him running his hand through his hair. I heard him take a couple footsteps, but I couldn't tell which direction he was going. I started to feel naseous, fearing he was walking away from me. I nearly jumped when I felt his hand on my shoulder.

"Let's go somewhere more private," he suggested. I nodded my head and let him lead me to where ever he wanted, my tears clouding my vision. Only when we got there did I realize that we were in Jordan's other room, the one he got after leaving me at the chapel.

I threw myself, face down, on the bed. I hid my head in a pillow, still in hysterics. Jordan sat down next to me, rubbing my back and whispering soothing things.

I was so surprised at myself at how much I cried today. I didn’t think any more tears could possibly come out at this point, yet they just keep falling like a waterfall. To think a person was capable of producing so many tears is shocking. Finally, Jordan had asked the one question that made me stop crying.

“Why are you crying Jess?”

I sniffled once or twice before rolling on two my back. Jordan laid down next to me. He didn’t touch me. He just sat there, not moving. “Because I’m afraid,” I finally answered. He turned his head so he could look at me.

“Of what?” It was such a simple question, yet the answer was so complex.

“Everything.”

“Tell me what everything is.”

I sat up straight and took a deep breath before explaining myself. “I’m not going to have a clue how to do this whole parenting thing. I’m going to fail miserably at it.” I pulled at imaginary stings on the comforter. “And I wasn’t too sure how you were going to react. I thought that you might not want this, the responsibility. I needed to make sure you knew about this before we got married. If you didn’t want this, I didn’t want you to feel like you had to stay with me because we were married; I wanted you to stay because you want to. I know how this ends if you stayed because we were married. You end up like me.”

“Look at me,” he instructed. I couldn’t bring myself to lift up my head. He stuck two fingers under my chin and lifted my head towards him for me. He made sure our eyes were locked on each others before he spoke. “First of all, there is nothing wrong with who you are. I love you for you, and that’s all that matters. Second, I would never do what your father did to you.” Even though I never told him what happened to my parents, he seemed to understand.

My parents were in a similar situation to what Jordan and I are in now. My mom got pregnant and tricked my dad into marrying her without him knowing. She told him after the wedding. He didn’t want a child, but felt compelled to stay with her because they were married. He hated me from the second he found out my mom was pregnant.

“And lastly, I want you and our baby to be in my life for the rest of my life." He rolled on top of me, pushing me back down against the bed and capturing my lips in a passion filled kiss.

"Jordan, stop," I said, ending the kiss.

"What is it Jess?" he asked, his head still inches from my face.

"Are you sure about this? Are you sure you want the responsibility of a child. Because if you don't, there's still time for me to just pick up my things and leave. All you have to do is say the word."

He answered me by capturing my lips in another mind blowing kiss. "Jess, I love you, and I love our baby to." He put his hand on my non-existent baby bump. "I'm ready for the responsibility. I wouldn't leave you or our baby for the world." He smiled down at me with the biggest smile I have ever seen. I wrapped my arms around him in an ecstatic hug. "Now, let's go get married." He got off the bed and leaned down so I could get on his back. I jumped on and he headed towards the elevators.

"Wait! I need to find the ring!"

*~*~*~*~*

After half an hour for searching for that ring, we had finally found it. Of course I had to explain to Jordan how it had ended up under the refrigerator. And why there were brown and red stains on the bedroom wall. It's all right, though. Jordan told me he had broken a lamp in his room.

We both thanked the random couple we had found leaving the chapel for being our witnesses. We had no idea where the other people were, or how to get in contact with them, so we figured any random strangers would do.

It felt so weird having two rings adorned on my left ring finger. I was hardly used to having on one ring. It is just something I’m going to have to get used to being the new Mrs. Staal. It’s funny; I haven’t even met all of his family yet and I’m married to Jordan.

“Jordan,” I said softly. We were walking hand in hand back to our hotel. It was only about a quarter mile away from the chapel.

“Mhm,” he responded.

“How are we going to tell everyone? Most of your family hasn’t even met me yet. And then I have to deal with the wrath of Vero when we get back to Pittsburgh.”

“The wrath of Vero?” Jordan questioned.

“You don’t think she’s going to be pissed that we got married without her knowing? And that we purposely kept it a secret from everyone?”

“Oh, she won’t be pissed,” he said with a smirk. “She’s going to be furious.” He laughed at himself, thinking he was being hilarious.

“So how are we going to tell her?” I asked again.

“We aren’t going to tell her.” I gave him a sideways glance. What does he mean we aren’t going to tell him? “You are going to tell her. I don’t want to see her when she explodes.”

I gasped. “Jordan, that is so mean! I may not come out alive if I have to tell Vero by myself! She could kill me! And our baby!”

Jordan chuckled. “Don’t worry. We’ll tell everyone together. As long as Flower’s there, we should be fine. He can hold her back if she tries to start anything.”

“But what about your family?”

“We’ll figure out something later.”

We walked in silence for the last minute of our walk. It was a comfortable silence of two people enjoying one another’s company.

“Hey Jordan.”

“Mhm.”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”