Not Afraid to Die

"I come bearing gifts," Jazz continued, sauntering into the room.

Filing in behind her were the boys and manager of All Time Low. Lolita's eyes immediately locked on Rian, her heart pounding furiously against her ribcage. He looked nice in his white undershirt. It accentuated his muscles in the most attractive way.

Not that she was looking at them or anything.

She wouldn't do that. Rian was a human, not a piece of meat for her to stare at, no matter how enticing he looked.

Alright, she was looking.

Possibly feeling her intense gaze on him, he looked in her direction, meeting her eyes. A perfect smile formed on his lips.

Lolita swore she could die right there.

"Where are your children?" Dorian yelled, breaking the magic that had filled the moment.

Begrudgingly, Lolita turned her attention from the All Time Low drummer to the rest of the group. The room seemed awfully packed. Neon and Arpeggio were no longer in the recording booth, having left it at some point while Lolita was staring at Rian. Every member of All Time Low and RxN was in the tiny space of the control room.

Was there supposed to be so many people in that room?

"I ate them," Jack replied before Alex could respond.

"I bet babies aren't the only thing he eats," Dorian teased.

Bright red tint coated Arpeggio's cheeks. "Shut up."

Even Lolita caught that joke. But why wouldn't she? She knew the various aspects of sex. The doctors had laid it all out for her when she hit puberty. They very clearly informed her of what she needed to know to keep another human being safe if she decided to take that leap.

That leap wasn't one she ever planned on taking.

Despite her massive crush on Rian, she still wasn't planning on taking that leap.

It wasn't like Rian liked her back. She was his friend's little sister, the one with HIV. She doubted he looked at her as anything more than that.

She wanted him to.

"Where are our kid's, Alex?" Neon asked, arms crossing over her chest.

"With my parents. Didn't you get my text?" Alex returned.

"My phone's off. You know that."

"Explains why Arpeggio was the one to tell me to pick up food."

"If you two would stop sneaking away to have sex in the bathroom, Neon would have been able to text you because she would be done recording," Grim stated.

Lolita wasn't as shocked as she felt she should have been by the manager's comment. It was odd to here Grim call anyone out on their sexual habits. However, the group often did tease each other about such things. Or they did two years prior to Lolita's reintroduction to their lives.

Apparently, it hadn't changed.

"Do you know how unsanitary that is?" Lestat asked.

"I don't think they can control themselves enough to care," Jazz remarked.

Neon rolled her eyes. "Alex has a never-ending sexual appetite, okay?"

The mentioned lead singer smiled sheepishly at the comment, rubbing the back of his head with his free hand. His wife didn't seem to care about how her comment affected him, nor did she seem shy about admitting to pleasing her husband in the restroom.

Neon always was confident.

"So does Jack, but you don't see him sneaking over here to have sex with Arpeggio," Dante stated, taking a seat on the arm of Lolita's couch.

"You two just have no self control," Jazz finished.

"Know what, Jazz? When you and Zack make that transition in your relationship, you'll have no room to talk," Neon said.

"Are you saying Beatrice has an unquenchable sex drive?"

"No, I'm saying you will."

"And how did you come to this conclusion?"

"Have you heard how you've been talking about Zack lately? Yeah, case and point."

"How about we eat and not talk about Jazz's nonexistent sex drive?" Dante asked.

"I second that motion," Lestat agreed.

"You guys don't even have time to be pondering Jazz's sex drive. There are only two members done recording. Hurry up and eat," Grim commanded.

"Cranky," Jazz mumbled, placing a plastic takeout bag in front of Grim. "Eat," she commanded, "It'll help with the period cramps."

Grim glared at Jazz, attempting to look intimidating. Jazz simply smirked in return. Lolita decided Grim looked more like a puppy than a man meant to be in control. She wasn't quite sure how he managed to keep control of the group.

He probably didn't keep control of them very well.

Snorting at his girlfriend, Zack began handing out the food bags in his hands, followed by the rest of the All Time Low members. Lolita's moss green eyes darted around, watching the mass amount of movement and searching for her own food.

She wasn't sure what Dante ordered for her. He didn't give her a choice. For all she knew, it wasn't really fast food, in which case she would be upset.

Well, she wouldn't really care. She wasn't obsessed with fast food. But she didn't want to eat a salad or some lukewarm soup or whatever non-fast food item Dante could manage to get delivered to the building.

She didn't feel like eating in the first place. A throb had begun to run through her head, her stomach was threatening to spew its contents in the control room. The last thing she wanted to do was eat.

What she needed to do was tell Dante, but she hadn't gotten the chance to. He only just finished his parts for the CD. He hadn't been out of the recording booth long enough for her to tell him.

Actually, he had but she hadn't had the time to figure out if what she was feeling was actual sickness or something that would pass in minutes. It sporadically hit her instead of progressively developing. Her head started throbbing, and her stomach followed. It was possible she just needed medication, which she was about to take, to kill the feelings her body was dealing with. That happened from time to time. She would be fine.

She hoped she would be fine.

It would suck to have to go to the hospital again.

Rian stopped in front of the Anderson siblings, Lolita's eyes focusing on him and abandoning her search for food. Even her pain seemed to take a backseat to focusing on him. She didn't make note of the food containers and drink carrier in his hands, too focused on his concentrated face to care about the food that was likely to be hers.

Her mind had its priorities straight.

"Let's see," Rian mumbled, placing the drink carrier on the small table in front of the couch, "Number one combo with honey chicken, rice and a coke for Dante." He handed the Styrofoam container and the drink cup to the mentioned sibling.

Of course Rian was in charge of getting their food. Lolita should have seen that coming.

Rian's existence in the room clouded her better judgment.

Or maybe that was her headache.

"Thank you," Dante said.

Rian nodded and continued, "Number two combo with noodles, sesame chicken, bourbon chicken, and a Sprite for me." That container was placed on the table with the drinks. "Number one combo with sweet and sour chicken, rice, and a root beer for Princess Lolita."

"You got me a root beer?" Lolita asked instead of taking the Styrofoam container from Rian's hand.

She must have heard him wrong. She hadn't processed most of the words he had said as it was. Her mind subconsciously hooked on the words root beer, which might not have passed from his lips.

"Dante told me to," Rian said.

The answer entered Lolita's mind as a series of incomprehensible gibberish. She tried to decipher it. The process caused the pain in her head to increase.

This wasn't good.

"What?" Lolita asked.

"I figured I'd let you get a root beer," Dante said, "You've been bugging me about it for awhile."

Lolita turned to face at her brother, eyebrows drawn together. Her expression caused Dante's eyes to widen, an alarm sounding in the back of his head. Her face was pale, confusion obvious on her facial features. She was slouching, something she didn't do unless she was being forced to complete math homework or didn't get her way. Her hands were trembling and it seemed like her breathing had increased, something Dante wouldn't have noticed if he wasn't studying her intensely.

Why hadn't she told him she wasn't feeling well?

"Lolita, are you okay?" he asked.

"I think I'm going to get some water," Lolita said.

She stood and collapsed on the floor.