Not Afraid to Die

"What's going on?" Dante asked, staring at the door, arms limp at his sides.

"I guess the sepsis is flaring up," Blaine said.

Dante looked at Blaine, his expression possibly the most painful Blaine had seen since he met him. Out of subconscious nature, Blaine wrapped his arms around Dante's shoulders and pulled him against his body.

"What's going to happen to her?" Rian asked.

"Hopefully, the doctor will be able to save her," Blaine answered.

"Hopefully?"

"It depends on what Doctor Daniels can do and how bad off Lolita is."

Doctor Daniels? Rian didn't know a Doctor Daniels. Were they bringing a new doctor in to take care of Lolita's treatments? Carter had been doing a fine job as far as Rian could tell.

Until Lolita's sporadic attack, but he had faith in Carter's ability to handle this.

Doctor Daniels, on the other hand, well, Rian had no idea who that was.

"Who's Doctor Daniels?" Rian asked.

"Carter's last name is Daniels. She lets a lot of her younger patients, or patients with severe health problems, call her Doctor Cart."

Rian nodded a few times, relieved, and returned his eyes to the door shielding Lolita from his view. He could hear Carter yelling orders to the nurses in the room and the buzzing of machines. With each command, his stomach twisted.

This may have been the most terrifying moment of Rian's life. The little ray of sunshine that was Lolita could have been dying in a hospital bed despite Doctor Cart's best efforts. She only entered his life days ago and she could very well be taken out of it, just like that.

To top it all off, she was in a hospital bed. It seemed so unnatural. She was Lolita. She wasn't supposed to spend her last days in a hospital. She was supposed to run wild with random animals, like Tasmanian Devils and Meerkats.

He couldn't imagine how Dante was feeling.

"Tell me Carter will save her," Dante mumbled against Blaine's neck.

"Doctor Daniels will try her best," Blaine said, running a hand through Dante's hair.

"What if that's not enough?"

"Have faith in her, Dante. She knows what she's doing in there."

"But Lolita—"

"Will be fine."

"She could die this time," Dante argued, pushing himself away from Blaine and standing next to Rian.

"And she could live."

"This isn't a fucking coin toss."

"I'm not saying it is."

"Then stop saying she'll be okay."

"Do you want me to tell you she's going to die?"

"If that's the truth."

"Dante," Rian cut in, staccato voice bouncing of the halls, "Stop pushing him away."

The argument between Dante and Blaine was ridiculous. Dante wanted Blaine to tell him Lolita would die. Blaine was trying to make Dante feel better about his sister's sudden incident. Rian wasn't going to let this go on any longer. He understood Dante was hurting. His sister just collapsed, he had a reason to be upset. But that didn't mean he could lash out at Blaine. The male nurse had been doing nothing wrong.

Couldn't Dante just do what his sister wanted and be happy with someone?

It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out Lolita had pushed Blaine to ask Dante to get coffee, not for some selfish reason but for her brother to be happy. Rian could see the way Lolita looked at her brother, with that appreciation. Her brother was one of her heroes, next to their father. Where else would she have gotten her need to do what she wanted and never let anything stand in her way? It took more than just talent to be a successful writer and musician.

She wanted her older sibling to be happy, and the only way she knew to do that was to give him someone other than their father to lean on if she were to pass away.

Not that Blaine was necessarily hers to give, but that didn't stop her.

Nothing ever stopped her.

This little incident sure as hell wouldn't either.

"But—"

"Shut up. You're upset, I get it, but don't take it out on Blaine. You're more levelheaded than that."

Sighing, Dante stared at Blaine, who stared back. They stood there, just looking at each other. Rian kept his attention partially on them, partially on the lack of yelling coming from Lolita's room.

"I'm sorry," Dante said.

"It's okay," Blaine returned.

"No, it's not. I'm not normally like this."

"Stress and fear affect people in weird ways."

"You're not mad?"

Blaine shook his head.

"So do you," Dante hesitated, "Do you know what's going to happen to her?"

"I have no idea."

"You wouldn't lie to me if you knew she would die, right?"

"My medical integrity is a little more important to me than lying to you."

Nodding, Dante looked towards the door hiding his younger sibling from view. The commotion that was once inside had stopped. Anxiety flowed through him as he waited for the door to fly open. It had to soon.

From the corner of his eyes, he could see Rian's body tense. His eyes were trained to the door like a dog waiting for table scraps. It almost calmed Dante to know he wasn't the only one worried in that moment.

His father would be worried later when Dante would call him and recount the day's events.

He really hoped he could end the story by reassuring their father Lolita was alive.

"Why aren't they coming out?" Rian asked.

"Doctor Daniels is probably taking her vitals."

"That's a good sign then."

"It should be."

The door to the hospital room opened, the nurses that had rushed in piling out. Doctor Cart was the last to exit the room. Her expression was unreadable. There were no suggestions that Lolita was okay, nor were there any suggestions that Lolita had passed away.

"Good news or bad news first?" Doctor Cart asked before anyone could open their mouth.

"You have both?" Dante returned.

"Unfortunately."

"Bad news first, I guess."

"Are you sure you want to do that? I don't think the good news is enough to offset the bad news this time."

"What's the good news then?"

"We managed to stabilize your sister."

"How does this not offset the bad news?"

Stable meant she was still alive, and alive was good. Alive was more than good. Alive was spectacular.

"Because it's mandatory to attempt to stabilize patients who drop into a coma."

Dante's heart plummeted to the pit of his stomach.

"Coma?"

"We call it a concussion until the six hour mark. If she doesn't wake up by then, we call it a coma."

"She's not waking up?"

"For now, no. It's likely her body shut down in response to the sepsis. Comas have been shown to allow the body to pause bodily actions in order to heal injuries or illnesses. Her body has been trying to get rid of sepsis on its own. Even with the medication, it's still trying."

"But people don't always wake up from comas."

"Not always. Just because the body is attempting to get better doesn't mean it works. Or it may work and the patient never wakes up." Seeing the blanched look on his face, Carter quickly added, "Lolita should be okay. Like I said, this is just her body's response to sepsis. With the proper treatment, she'll regain consciousness."

The reassurance did nothing. Dante's mouth was twisted in a frown, his eyes holding a lost expression. It didn't seem he was taking in anything being said, too stuck in his mental wanderings to pay attention.

"Can we see her?" Rian asked.

"We're going to take her to run some tests first, but you both can wait in the room for her. There's no policy against you staying."

"Okay."

Doctor Cart looked to Dante. He still appeared to be in his own world, staring at the wall, unresponsive.

"We'll take good care of her, Dante, I promise."

Dante didn't say a word.