Not Afraid to Die

"She's still not up."

"It hasn't even been twenty-four hours yet, Dante. Calm down."

"Don't tell me to calm down," Dante said. No malice was in his tone, only exhaustion and worry. "My sister is in a coma. This isn't a concussion anymore."

Unless she woke up during the middle of the night, she had been out for nearly a whole day. She was in the position she had been after Doctor Cart managed to stabilize her yesterday. She hadn't moved a muscle, just laid there.

And that was what happened to people in a coma, Dante understood that. But Lolita wasn't supposed to sit still like that. She didn't know how to sit still. She was always in constant motion. This wasn't supposed to happen to her.

If she woke up, she wouldn't be able to stop moving at all for weeks. She probably wouldn't even sleep.

She would wake up. Dante had to keep positive. She would wake up. She would wake up. She would wake up.

No matter how many times he repeated it, he found it hard to believe.

"People wake up from comas," Rian insisted.

"People also turn into vegetables."

"Lolita isn't one of those people."

"I want to believe that."

"In all honesty, so do I."

Rian was worried. Lolita still wasn't awake. Throughout the time she had been out, he had tried to keep Dante calm, tried to reassure him Lolita would be okay. Because, if he could convince Dante everything would be fine, he could convince himself.

He wasn't ready for Lolita to leave him. She had come into his life as a little ball of energy. There was no way he could let her leave yet. He would do anything he could to keep her alive, and he knew Dante would do the same. All Lolita needed to do was present a way to save her.

There wasn’t anything to attempt to do with her in a coma. Medications were still pumping into her system, she was breathing, her heart was functioning. She was just unconscious, unable to respond to sensory stimulants, possibly unable to hear them at all. The most they could do at that moment was wait. If there was something that her body wasn't providing that either Dante or Rian could, both males would jump at the chance to do so in order to keep her alive.

But, as it was, there was nothing they could do other than sit and wait.

They weren't too skilled in the waiting part.

Sighing, Dante stared at his younger sibling's face. Nothing moved, nothing twitched. She looked dead. He couldn't imagine this as a peaceful state for her. Though she wasn't moving, aside from the raises and falls of her chest, this wasn't peaceful. Movement was her peaceful state. It always would be, and Dante was sure it always had been.

From what he remembered, she hadn't been still as a newborn. She hadn't been still when she was trying to avoid getting sick. She hadn't been still while sick. She hadn't ever been still.

Until now.

"What time is it?" Dante asked.

Rian dug into his pocket and pulled out his cell phone. One press of a button lit up the display, the clock in the top right relaying the time.

"Almost ten," Rian mumbled.

Nodding, Dante continued to stare at his sibling. Their father would be there soon. In mere seconds most likely. He had guaranteed he would be there around ten, and he was a punctual man.

That was a factor Dante had inherited.

Lolita, on the other hand, lived in her own world where time didn't matter.

Dante and their father loved that about her, regardless of how late she made them for events. Forgetting time was something that they felt she was allowed to do. As long as they got to the event before it ended, she could do as she pleased. She was HIV positive. If she felt like spending a little bit of time humming and banging pans in the middle of getting ready, then she could very well do it.

Banging pans wasn't something she had done in ages, but she still stopped in the middle of getting ready to hum and do something that was completely unproductive to getting out of the house.

"She'll wake up," Rian said, unable to handle the silence, "She has to wake up."

The silence was frightening. It never had been before, but it was now. With Lolita lying unconscious in a hospital bed, everything that went against her character was frightening.

It was almost unnatural.

"No one would be able to handle the loss of her presence," Dante agreed.

"Yeah," Rian paused, looking over Lolita's face. "Did you ever let the band know what was happening?"

"I did, but I told them they should focus on the Christmas Special."

The special was to take place the next day, in the afternoon at some point. Dante wasn't too sure of the time, maybe three, maybe five, maybe later than that. He hadn't cared much about the special since his sister got admitted to the hospital.

"What are you going to do about the special?"

"I don't know yet."

Grim offered to take RxN out of the special and allow it to focus on the eccentric males of All Time Low. According to Grim, Matt and the heads of the label would prefer they avoid doing so. After advertising the presence of RxN in the special, pulling them out wasn't a good move. But they would allow it if Dante requested it.

Of course, Dante told them to go through with the special. He wouldn't allow them to cancel because of him. There was one problem with Dante's decision that Grim had pointed out.

He wouldn't be there.

As long as Lolita was in a coma, he wasn't going. He wouldn't leave her side. Not until he was forced to, which wasn't likely to happen till their father got there. Only one family member could be in the room over night. His father would want to stay. Family would be there for her when she woke, though. She wouldn't awake to an empty room.

Sure, Dante could have their father stay in the room with her while he went to the special, but he didn't want to do that. He wanted to be there for her every chance he was allowed.

The door to Lolita's room opened, noiseless as the unconscious girl in bed. Emerald eyes shining with purpose and worry, Dante's father walked into the room. Despite his obvious rush to get to the hospital, his thick brown hair was the epitome of perfection, he donned his usual dress shirt and slacks, and he was cleanly shaved. Dante couldn't say the same for himself. Though he had shaved and showered, he knew he was a mess.

After sitting next to his sister's bed almost constantly, there wasn't much else he could be.

Dante stood, walking across the room and embracing his father. Tightly hugging him, his father mumbled a quiet "Its going to be okay." Dante simply nodded, holding back any tears. They let go of each other, and his father's eyes landed on Rian, who stood.

"Who is this?" he asked, smiling warmly.

"This is Rian. He's the drummer for All Time Low, and he's the one I was telling you about earlier in the week," Dante said, "Rian this is my father."

Dante had told their father everything Rian had done for Lolita. He had also relayed the message of Lolita's still existent commitment issue and the reasoning behind it.

His father hadn't been too happy about the reasoning.

"It's nice to meet you, Mr. Anderson," Rian said, holding a hand out.

"David," he returned, shaking Rian's hand, "If you're going to date the unconscious fireball, you can call me David."

"Considering your children's names, I was expecting a literary term of some sort."

"Sadly, my parents weren't as literary-oriented as I am." He looked at his son. "When do I meet Blaine?"

"When he comes in to take Lolita's vitals."

He looked towards his daughter's bed, where she lay unmoving. She wasn't squealing or whining, wasn't hopping up and down. He had entered the room and she wasn't doing anything. This wasn't normal.

Noticing the significantly depressed look in the man's eyes, Rian said, "You know, I think I'm going to pick up some food. Burger King or something. Do either of you want anything."

Dante and his father needed to be together alone for awhile. This wasn't a moment Rian felt he could intrude on. He understood the importance of them getting the chance to talk. Hopefully, Dante's father could get his son to calm down a bit.

"That'd be great," Dante's father said, smile appearing forced, "I'll be sure to pay you back."

"No, need. It's on me."

He pulled his eyes away from his daughter's body and looked at the drummer. "Thank you, Rian."