Not Afraid to Die

"Dad's flight landed, and he's on his way to his next signing," Dante said as he walked into the room and collapsed on the couch next to his sibling.

Lolita drew her eyes away from the book in her lap to look at her brother. He looked nice in his skinny jeans and sweater. His hair was groomed to perfection, his glasses were shined.

"Why are you still here?" she asked.

He had somewhere to be. A date with Blaine. After they dropped their father off at the airport, Dante started fusing over his attire. Lolita ignored him and went to sleep. It had been too early to deal with her brother's nerves, four in the morning at the latest. When she awoke at a decent hour, Dante still hadn't picked an outfit.

And he finally settled on a pair of skinny jeans, a band tee, and his sweater.

Blaine had seen Dante in the hospital, unkempt, wearing the same clothing days in a row. He didn't seem to care what Dante wore.

"I'm waiting for Rian to take over watching you."

"I'll be fine by myself for a second."

"Do we need to go over this again?"

"I'm not going to burn your apartment down."

"You say that now, but when you start seeing imaginary rabbits, who knows how much of my apartment will still be standing."

A knock on the door cut through the conversation, keeping Lolita from responding to her brother's accusation. She had nothing to combat it anyway. If she started seeing imaginary rabbits who demanded she burn his apartment down, she wouldn't be able to control herself.

Talking rabbits were persuasive.

Dante pushed himself from the couch and walked across the living room to the door. Lolita returned to the book in her lap, scanning the words. The images broken by Dante's intrusion soldered back together in her mind. Too engrossed in the imaginary world, Lolita couldn't here the words spoken at the door or people shuffling into the living room.

"She's pretending to read."

The whisper shattered her imaginary world once again, leaving it a pile that likely wouldn't be put together. Twice, she had been distracted by her brother. She turned her head to the entrance of the living room ready to threaten him with gnomes but stopped short of talking when she noticed the second man in the doorway.

"Rian," she exclaimed, jumping from the couch and letting her book fall to the coffee table.

She rushed across the room and threw her body against the drummer, arms wrapping around his shoulders. He caught her when she collided with him, his arms sliding around her waist, holding her close. His chest rumbled with chuckles.

"I see this is going well. I'll be back soon, love," Dante said.

Lolita hummed an answer, neither an affirmative or a negative. Smiling, Dante nodded to Rian and left from the apartment. The door shut lightly behind him, not distracting Lolita's focus on Rian.

"I missed you," Lolita nearly purred, cuddling against his body.

"You saw me yesterday," Rian said.

"That was so long ago."

"The equivalent of ten thousand years in your mind."

She pulled her face away from his body, looking up at him with accusing eyes. "Are you teasing me?"

"Maybe."

"I won't show you Dante's rubber ducks."

"Rubber ducks?"

An excited smile stretched over her features. "Oh my gosh, they're so cool. You have to see them."

She detangled herself from Rian's hold and jetted out of the living room. Rian stared after her. She was thinking about ducks while they were cuddling? He didn't think normal people did that.

But she was one of a kind.

She returned to the doorway of living room and grabbed Rian's hand. Without a word, she tugged him to the bathroom attached to Dante's room. He didn't struggle, simply followed, an amused smile across his face. Her excitement was too adorable.

Two rubber ducks sat on the edge of Dante's bathtub. Giggling, Lolita picked them up and showed them to Rian. They were normal rubber ducks aside from the green Mohawk on one's head and the pink bow on the other's head.

"Aren't they cute?" Lolita asked.

"Jack would go insane over these," Rian mumbles.

Which explained why Dante told him to get Lolita a necklace with a rubber duck pendant. She was entertained a great deal easier than Jack. It was no wonder she found the ducks so interesting.

But why did Dante have them?

"Here," she held the Mohawk duck out to him. "You get the boy duck because I don't like playing a boy."

"Okay," he chuckled, taking the plastic bath toy from her hands.

They were going to play with ducks. This was hardly how he planned for their day together to go. He was pretty sure most adults didn't plan to play with ducks when they met with their future significant others. But Lolita hardly acted like an adult. She was eighteen, barely legal, and acted five.

No, "act" wasn't the right word. It insinuated her bubbly attitude was fake, and that was hardly true. She was young at heart. She wouldn't ever let go of her childish attitude, and no one expected her to. She was herself. Those who knew her loved her for it.

Rian was no exception. Lolita had wooed him with her charm in seconds. And he had been upset because of a breakup when he met her.

This need to play with rubber ducks was just as charming.

Rian held his duck up with one hand, watching Lolita twist her duck around like it was flying. Her lips were pursued, eyes swimming with thoughts. What was she thinking about?

Lolita glanced at Rian, then his motionless rubber duck. An idea flashed into her head. Smiling, she flew her duck to Rian's and pressed her ducks beak to Rian's duck's cheek. Before he could make a comment, she mimicked the action, pressing her own lips to Rian's cheek. His facial hair prickled her lips. She would have giggled at his scruffiness if her nerves weren't erupting in her stomach.

This was the first time she had initiated a kiss.

She pulled away from his face and stared up at him, eyes wide, bottom lip captured by her teeth. Shock read clear across his features. His parted lips slowly twisted into a smile, eyes shining.

So this was the game she decided to play today.

He pretended to make his Mohawk topped duck fly and pressed it's beak to Lolita's duck's cheek, as she had done moments ago. He mimicked the action as she had, pressing his lips to her cheek. Under his lips, her cheeks raised in a smile. He pulled away and smiled down at her, awaiting her next move. She looked between their ducks, moss green eyes formulating a plan of action.

How could she get closer to him?

Oh, she had an idea.

She pressed her duck's beak to Rian's ducks forehead. Stepping closer to Rian, she pressed her body to his. Warmth spread through her, her cells jolting with excitement. She rose on her toes, using Rian's shoulders to help her remain stable, and kissed his forehead. Rian's arms slid around her waist, keeping her from moving away when she returned to a stable position on her feet.

Moving away from his body was the last thing on her mind.

She held up her duck, wiggling it in his face. He watched the duck shake in taunting gesture. Taking the bait, he made his duck swoop at hers and press its beak to the top of her duck's beak. Following the duck's motions, he swooped down and kissed the tip of her nose. Light pink dusted her cheeks, a giggle spilling from her throat. She didn't hesitate to press her duck's beak to the edge of Rian's duck's beak and kiss one corner of his smile. Rian stared into her moss green eyes.

Would she be okay with his next move?

Only one way to find out.

Waving his duck to draw her attention to it, Rian pressed his duck's beak to her duck's beak. Deep red tinted Lolita's face. She looked up at him, eyes wide. Rian leaned forward, catching her lips with his. Her eyes slid shut on impact, and her heart beat rapidly against her ribcage. Tentative, she copied the movements of his lips, reveling in the feel of him. He pulled away, leaving her dazed. Neither said anything, silence wrapping around them.

Lolita squeezed her duck, making its squeak bounce off the tiles of the bathroom and break the silence. "My duck liked the kiss."

"My duck did too. In fact," Rian squeezed his duck near his ear. Pretending to be appalled, he looked at it and said, "Oh, I don't think you should ask her that." He squeezed the duck again. "Okay." He brought the duck in front of Lolita's and squeezed it.

"What'd he say?" she asked, her tone holding unreleased giggles.

"He wants to know if your duck will be his girlfriend."

Lolita didn't need to think about the answer, didn't need to hesitate. She squeezed her duck in front of Rian's.

"What did that mean?" he asked.

"Forever and always."