Disallusioned Mentality.
Get Out
"What'll it be tonight, James?"
He finished what he was saying to his friends at the table and turned his head toward me pretending to be reading what the white lettering on my black v-neck work t-shirt said."The usual, sweetheart, and on your way back could you walk a little slower? After all, I am a paying costumer."
I leaned over the table to reach for his friend's empty beer glass with a devious,crooked smile, my wavy brunette hair falling in front of me, purposefully letting my C cups land directly in his line of sight, and replied," Such a shame you're also a married man."
He twirled a piece of my hair between his fingers and said, "Just here to look, Emma."
The second I turned around and the act dropped. The smile faded, along with the facade of any happiness I had. I was lost in a world of depressed delirium. It was my job to be the flirty, happy bartender. This job was my escape from any real feelings, from having to feel anything at all. I'm not good at dealing with my feelings; I'm only good at running away from them.
I didn't even realize I had stopped walking until someone about two feet behind me threw an empty beer glass on the floor. I jumped and started walking again to get behind the bar to make James' scotch neat. I pulled out the scotch, poured it into the glass and headed back to James' table with it in my hand. I was about halfway there when Ben Anderson barged in, scanned the room looking for me quickly, darted ove rto where I was, pulled me close putting his arm around my waist and kissed me like he was leaving for a war. I dropped the glass and tried to push him away but he was about three times stronger than me and really, really good at what he was doing. I couldn't think, I couldnt breathe, I couldn't remember. In that moment, all I could do was feel. Feel those emotions I was trying so desperately to run away from, rushing through me in this one surge of passion. He stopped to breathe and this brilliant creature smiled at me, and stared right into my soul. He placed his hand behind my ear to hold my hair back, and whispered,"Hi". I was speechless, I was still reeling from seeing him, let alone what just happened.
When I finally got back to reality, I pushed myself away from him and managed to say, "You shouldn't be here."
"Don't pretend like you don't have any feelings for me, Emma"
"I don't have to pretend, Ben. The other night was a mistake, and you shouldn't have any feelings for me either. I'm working.You need to leave. " I bent down to the ground to clean up the glass and alcohol.
He got down on his knees to be at the same level as me,put his hand under my chin to lift my face up to look at him, wiped a forming tear from my cheek, and said, "I will always have feelings for you, Emma Ingram."
I knocked his hand out from under my chin, pushed him back, and screamed, "Get out, Ben!"
He finished what he was saying to his friends at the table and turned his head toward me pretending to be reading what the white lettering on my black v-neck work t-shirt said."The usual, sweetheart, and on your way back could you walk a little slower? After all, I am a paying costumer."
I leaned over the table to reach for his friend's empty beer glass with a devious,crooked smile, my wavy brunette hair falling in front of me, purposefully letting my C cups land directly in his line of sight, and replied," Such a shame you're also a married man."
He twirled a piece of my hair between his fingers and said, "Just here to look, Emma."
The second I turned around and the act dropped. The smile faded, along with the facade of any happiness I had. I was lost in a world of depressed delirium. It was my job to be the flirty, happy bartender. This job was my escape from any real feelings, from having to feel anything at all. I'm not good at dealing with my feelings; I'm only good at running away from them.
I didn't even realize I had stopped walking until someone about two feet behind me threw an empty beer glass on the floor. I jumped and started walking again to get behind the bar to make James' scotch neat. I pulled out the scotch, poured it into the glass and headed back to James' table with it in my hand. I was about halfway there when Ben Anderson barged in, scanned the room looking for me quickly, darted ove rto where I was, pulled me close putting his arm around my waist and kissed me like he was leaving for a war. I dropped the glass and tried to push him away but he was about three times stronger than me and really, really good at what he was doing. I couldn't think, I couldnt breathe, I couldn't remember. In that moment, all I could do was feel. Feel those emotions I was trying so desperately to run away from, rushing through me in this one surge of passion. He stopped to breathe and this brilliant creature smiled at me, and stared right into my soul. He placed his hand behind my ear to hold my hair back, and whispered,"Hi". I was speechless, I was still reeling from seeing him, let alone what just happened.
When I finally got back to reality, I pushed myself away from him and managed to say, "You shouldn't be here."
"Don't pretend like you don't have any feelings for me, Emma"
"I don't have to pretend, Ben. The other night was a mistake, and you shouldn't have any feelings for me either. I'm working.You need to leave. " I bent down to the ground to clean up the glass and alcohol.
He got down on his knees to be at the same level as me,put his hand under my chin to lift my face up to look at him, wiped a forming tear from my cheek, and said, "I will always have feelings for you, Emma Ingram."
I knocked his hand out from under my chin, pushed him back, and screamed, "Get out, Ben!"
♠ ♠ ♠
Sorry it took so long to update. I'm busy all the time. it's ridiculous.